WoM- Okay, I lied. Big deal! 'pouts' Yes, this is a poem from the view point of a male from the show… and you can guess who, too.
"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war."
-Albert Einstein
Human
How could others ever understand
The lines that I have crossed
My dreams, my love, my humanity
And all else that I've lost
What is it that makes us human?
There have been many nights I sat up puzzling over that question. Trying to figure out exactly what separated humans from ghosts, mortals from the departed souls that once walked this earth just as they had, with families, friends, dreams…
I had dreams before, too. But I had to give it all up because of what I am now, though I still don't even fully understand what that is. 'Hybrid' is the closest thing to describe it, but even that doesn't explain what should be an impossible concept.
After all, how can someone be alive, but dead at the same time? The strain this conflict puts on the body and mind is enough to drive one insane. Certainly there are days I wonder about my sanity, wondering if that too was a casualty in the hardships this life gave me.
I never asked for this. And every day that goes by now, I'm torn between whether or not I truly want these powers bestowed upon me in a brief but extremely painful accident. After all, as much as I resent what they have done to me, I also have learned to adapt to life with them, learned things because of them that I never could've known if I hadn't become half ghost.
Besides, it's not like the powers are all bad, after all. And if they were ever stolen from me, it would probably leave me an empty shell, less human then I was as a half ghost.
Still, I can't help but muse over what 'human' is exactly. Is one 'human' merely because they are a living, breathing being? If so, considering how some of the 'humans' I've met in live conduct themselves, I think I'd rather take my chances with the ghost.
At least there's more understanding among them. They know who and what I am and take it in stride, while if 'humans' ever found out my secret, there would be blind panic, demands for actions to ensure I could not harm anyone without first seeing if I was guilty of any crimes against them to begin with.
If that is truly humanity, I want no part of it.
My pain is never ending
I'm all alone here in this fight
How can a world that wronged me
Expect me to do them right?
I suppose that's part of why your limitless naïveté astounds me. After all, you are no fool, you've proven that in your fights, both against myself and others. You are very observant and catch onto even the slightest changes quickly, unraveling complex world domination schemes with little or no help. You're capable of finding your opponent's shortcomings and using that against them, whether or not your opponent knows of them himself.
I can't help but feel those young fools you ally yourself with are somehow responsible for your current mindset, for your stubbornness in refusing to go with me in conquering these worlds that should belong to me, the most powerful creature living or dead, and you, the boy who should have been my son, if not for one minor technicality, the fool who stole the life that was rightfully mine.
Still, there are times when I'm almost sure that eliminating those two children would clear your vision of the innocence you cling to, most likely only to keep them satisfied. How can someone see what you have seen, know what you now know, and still believe that a virtuous path is the correct choice?
Many nights I've come this close to flying into their homes and smothering them in their sleep, a quick, painless death out of respect to you, but the one thing keeping me back is the knowledge that such foul play would only sever my chances more, so all I can do is hope some accident befalls them, something that makes you finally turn to me and admit that I was right all along.
I dare to do nothing more then that, though, and I will never hurt you or Maddie, despite your reluctance to believe as much. I've never purposely put you into a situation where your life was endangered.
Actually, I preferred to avoid as much by keeping you captive somewhere safe until the danger had passed, but you usually found a way to free yourself sooner then I'd intended. Even when I forced you to fight your sister, I knew what the most I could hope for was that the power of the ectoskeleton would be able to render you unconscious.
I am even reluctant to harm Jasmine, though she is of no true use to me. Still, just like with all of the undead, the ghost in me cries for revenge, for redemption for being so horribly wronged in this half life of mine. I admit I tried to fight it off at first, though no one may believe as much, but the power, the urges, they became too much for me.
At first, it was only little things, spiting those who wronged me in some way, but soon it grew and grew, and by the time I realized what was happening, it was far too late to stop it.
When I finally gave in and allowed it to overcome me, that was the first time I felt at peace with myself since the accident that ruined my life forever. They consumed me completely before long, and soon my conscious faded away into nothingness.
Those people who abandoned me
Now turn to me in need
But all my anger's still unspent
And my hatred's now been freed.
Irony truly is bittersweet, isn't it? To think, all that time I spent alone, isolated in that hospital, no one cared about me. I as good as dropped off the face of the earth when I most needed the company of friends.
I suppose that, and the fact that it was one of my so-called 'friends' that caused the wretched, mutating accident in the first place, was what showed me that I didn't need them. That I didn't need anyone but myself. I was even more determined to stay secluded from humanity.
I was young then. At first I was afraid, searching desperately for a way to free myself of the more frightening change in me, of which the scarring acne on my face was only a side effect. After I began finding ways to control these powers of mine, though, I became more reluctant to part with them.
After all, they were a part of me after a while. My powers were how I worked, how I lived, how I survived. Giving them up, even in those early stages, would've been like declawing a tiger who spent their life in the wild. It would've killed me faster then any disease or infection could ever do.
My power became my hope, and my natural human curiosity combined with my desire for revenge, and led me to the life I now live. A comfortable life in a castle in Wisconsin, with almost everything my heart desired.
And yet, it was still empty because 'almost' wasn't good enough for me. Not when the three things I didn't possess where what I most wanted in this world.
I know that I'm a monster
In all senses of the word
And I won't put any trust in them
After what I've seen and heard
I know that I have done wrong in the eyes of humans. But then, what reasons do I have not to? Even if I hadn't, even if I'd done the 'right' thing with my powers as you've been doing, it still would've never gotten me anything except the constant conflict that you now face, a conflict only I know about.
The ghosts can never tell, since their humanity was abandoned at their death, and the humans could never know since they've never had a part of them die while the rest lived on. A foot in each world, and a soul in constant pain because of it. Only a half ghost knows what that is like. Only you and I.
But you don't hear this when I try to explain as much to you, try to tell you that for every person you save, for every soul you help, you're tearing yourself in half more and more. Even you probably haven't realized it yet, but you are not just one entity anymore.
You cannot be half ghost and expect to live and work as a human does, nor the ghost. Ignoring half of yourself is not only a lie, but it's also dangerous in our case. Not to mention useless. The fight is a futile one, I would know, having been through it once myself.
Still, all you see and hear when I'm around is evil. It's quite foolish of you actually. You must realize by now that the world is not that simple, nothing is as black and white as good and evil is made out to be in the minds of the people you fight for. Which is another irony in itself, as some of those people still will not admit that you fight for them.
That cannot be what you desire, a life as the constant bad guy even though you're the one keeping them safe. Vigilantes get little respect in today's society, no matter how much good they feel they are doing for the world. To them you will never be anything more complicated then a restless undead spirit they will never understand.
But I'm not alone here anymore
Because you, too feel my pain
The same even in our differences
As we start to play our game
The thing that most amuses me now, though, is how you so stubbornly refuse to admit we're so similar. It isn't just in our powers, either. Even at your young age, you understand the conflict and pain of lost love, of wanting something you are constantly denied for reasons beyond even your immense powers, powers you are beginning to realize are dangerous even to those you protect.
I saw, after all.
I saw the horror on your face after your accidental attack on the young Miss Valerie Grey in space when you were trying to stop Technus. The fool didn't even realize someone else was using his eyes to see all that he was seeing.
It actually brought back memories too, the shock and pain written in your eyes as you stared from your hands to the girl floating helplessly off into the depths of the endless universe around you. I remembered then the first time I realized that my powers could severely harm those around me even if I didn't intend them to, the terror I felt at having such a force literally at my fingertips.
Most of my terror, though, came from the fact that I enjoyed it. It felt good, you see, even as I stood there watching the person who was trying to mug me screaming in pain on the ground I could still feel the charge from that sudden burst of energy coursing in my veins, reminding me that I was no longer one of them. That I was alone in what I was.
Until you showed up.
I didn't even realize how much I craved the companionship of someone else who could relate to this awesome strength and the terrible burdens that came with it until I saw you lying unconscious after our first battle. It was a relief in some way, knowing that someone else was going through the same troubles I had, fighting the same internal conflicts I'd lost so long ago.
Even the fact that you did not share my enthusiasm didn't deter me. After all, it wouldn't be long, I knew. The pain, the internal chaos that would have you questioning your sanity, it would all come soon enough. That was when you'd come searching for me, for something who could answer your questions, give you some peace of mind in knowing that someone else had survived all of this, become stronger in spite of the odds…
So go ahead and fight me
Question everything I do
Because I can see your monster
Being just as human as you
Until then I'll stay patient. Your friends influence won't last forever, after all. At times, I can already see signs of it's fading as the frustration, the dark desire for vengeance that only a ghost could know, rises up and you lash out at the simpletons who seem to eternally give you a hard time at school, never knowing that at some point in the near future, you could quite possibly kill them with a thought.
I know it's there inside of you, though you suppress it for the sake of your friends and family. The darkness, the hatred, and the desire to destroy everything that stands in your way. I see hints of that anger every time you give me that green-eyed warning glare, hoping to scare me into submission and yet only serving to prove to me further that we and the same.
You don't see yet that you can force yourself to stay caged, it's unhealthy for your body and subconscious, and it will only cause it to build up more and more, until the eruption that occurs because of it is out of control.
Kind of bittersweet, it is not? The thought that attempting to control your inner demons and protect those you care about from the darkness that is now a part of you could very well destroy everything you love.
Like a wild fire during a long drought destroys everything in its path. That is the reason firemen set small, controlled fires to sections of the forests. Such are immensely better then the damage caused by an inferno no one can stop, something so powerful and sudden that no one could prepare for it.
Is that what it will take for you to come to your senses? I would hope not, such a thing seems barbaric to me, but still, you obviously won't listen to me, you refuse to see that you are no longer as human as you like to imagine you are. Perhaps it is your youth that blinds you to that?
I pity you for that, actually, for being forced into a half existence before you even had a chance to live. True I myself was young when I had my accident, only in my twenties, but I at least was an adult when it happened. You? You're a child, barely into your adolescence. Far too young for the life you must now live thanks to your fool father, an existence you still refuse to fully acknowledge.
Still, I know that sooner or later, the dam will break loose and you will finally realize that you, too, can be the monster you are so fond of accusing me of being. All I have to do is wait for that day to come, and test your growing skills to measure the damage that will be cause from it.
But that would be a small price to pay for the glory that will await us when you accept your destiny at my side…
WoM- 'Blinking innocently,' What? Just because you COULD guess didn't make it a correct one! 'laughs and backs away.' I swear I'll get around to Danny (Eventually) But for now, you'll just have to be patient. And I just gotta say that I adore the poem for this one! Vlad fits with poetry so well, so elegant and complicated… 'Laughs sheepishly,' If you haven't been able to tell yet, As far as the Danny Phantom Villains go, I WORSHIP Vlad. 'big smile'
Complexity is a very attractive concept to me, which is probably why I'm also fond of Valerie. Anywho, the story part here was fun to write since I finally got to put my extensive vocabulary to a good use that didn't involve bugging the hell outta my little brothers. (Who still don't understand why I can't say 'smart' instead of 'intelligent')
Thanks to;
SummersSixEcho, Ytak, Moss Royal, Samantha-Girl Scout, Light Dragon SunsSong, conan98002, midnightgoth9, WolfDaughter, Lumias, Writer's-BlockDP, Lunaqua, Merklin, avearia, fish n chips n vinegar
Next update; March 13th
Next Poem; Rival
See you then!