WoM- Miss me? I figured with my new contest on Deviant art, I should probably work on getting the rest of these up. I'll try and get to as many requests as I can, as well as doing anything that comes to my mind.
For more information, check out my forum Taste of Insanity. It has all my current and upcoming stories, including this one and the next five poems you can expect from me with mini bios for each. Also, I have an important authors note at the end of this poem that I want everyone to read. Most of you have probably already been alerted to this, but I'm determined to keep it from happening again, so please bear with me a bit longer.
Also, a BIIIIIIIG thanks to my beta for this poem, Nom de Plume. 'huggles,' Thanks again for putting up with my horrible grammar!
"If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway."
- Mother Teresa
Rival
I know that it seems stupid
How I've come to despise you
It feels like you have got me beat
In everything we do
I saw him with you again today.
Why is it now that seeing you two together always leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth? Whenever I see him smile at you, laugh at whatever you say, it makes me want to jump on you and rip you to shreds.
It's so STUPID! I mean, before this love triangle I never would've given someone like you a second thought. You were everything I hated, after all, and I was everything you strived not to be. We were total opposites with nothing in common.
Nothing except our tastes in guys, apparently…
Though you probably don't like him for the same reasons I do. There's definitely no way you look at him the same way I do, or have the same daydreams that now have me failing my science class. Daydreams about a life where he loves me back, and I finally have everything I could ever want out of life.
Too bad that it can never happen, considering that you're the one he likes. I didn't even notice at first, but when I did, I felt like a complete fool. After that, though, I just plain hated you. What gave you the right to hang all over him like you two were already dating? You could never love him the same way I do, so why does he like you better? Why are you the one he always picks?
That's just it, I guess. Other than the fact that I like him more, there's no way for us to compete. You're smarter than I am, and a natural athlete… the kind of supergirl a guy like him needs. How can someone like me, who needs someone to open a can of soda for her, compete with that?
I'm not blind to your secret
But then it isn't yours to claim
I hate the way he looks at you
Since I know my love's in vain
When I found out… when I first saw… It was so surprising, I didn't know how to react. I couldn't believe it, even though it'd been right in front of my face the whole time. In front of everyone's face, really, but no one ever really noticed. He was so invisible to anybody who really mattered, that no one thought anything of his weird behavior, or of the way he was never there when the ghosts were attacking.
Kind of ironic when you think about it now…
Still, after I got over my shock, I saw the perfect opportunity. After all, now I knew something about the man I loved that no one else had a clue about. I knew the face behind the brave fighter who has saved me so many times, and I could use that to my advantage. I was so happy to find out that my crush was in the palm of my hands, that I could get him whenever I wanted…
…Only to find out that he was out of my grasp.
Maybe at one point in time I would've had a chance, but not now. You were the one everyone was so sure was perfect for him, and it made me sick to think about. I hated the thought of any girl but me being with him that way, but the fact that it was you made it even worse somehow.
We were so completely different from one another that if he really loved you, there was no way he could care about me. Still, I wasn't ready to give up. He was the first person I've ever really cared about, after all, and I'm a girl who's used to getting things her way. I wasn't going to let the love of my life slip away, especially not to you.
Why is it that between us
I always come out second best
And you're the he turns to
When he needs somewhere to rest
The problem is, though, I don't know how I'm going to separate you two. Just flirting with him didn't work, after all. If anything, it just made things worse. Because when I started flirting with him, you'd get jealous and step up to stop me. Every time you did that, it brought him one step closer to realizing you liked him back; and the second he finds that out…
But I won't let him. I CAN'T let him be with you! If it was anyone else, I would've been angry, but I might have allowed it in the end- but I HATED you more than any other girl in school.
After all, you never had to worry about the things that I did. You didn't have to work to keep up the image other people expected of you. Every day I have to work harder and harder to be the best, to be perfect. And I was perfect.
At least, I pretended I was.
When I was talking to Ms. Spectra, though, she kept bringing up how I was only popular because I was beautiful. That nobody I hung out with was really my friend any more than I was theirs. The only thing that I have to take pride in is that every girl who knows me wants to be me.
Every girl except you.
I guess that's when I really started to hate you. You aren't afraid of me like other geeky girls are, and you don't envy me like the popular ones. At first, I didn't understand why that irked me so much, but now I know.
It's because you've beaten me in almost everything, even though I deserve it more. The day I realized that was the day I started feeling bitter every time we were in the same room. Even though I was prettier, even though I was more popular, YOU kept beating ME.
Especially when it came to him.
After all, he trusts you. He cares about you enough to put up with all the stupid stuff you put him through, and it's not even for the same reason the guys I date do the same for me. He doesn't like you because you're the girl every other guy wants to date, but just because you're you.
And that is reason enough for me to hate you even more.
This jealousy is petty
But I just can't tell who he likes
Who is the one he dreams about
For whom is it that he fights?
The uncertainty is what really drives me crazy, though. Sometimes, he acts like he still has a crush on me, sometimes it's like he likes Valerie, and sometimes I'm almost sure he likes you. I don't know how to handle it all, and it's not a feeling I like.
But as angry as it makes me, I can't bring myself to hate him for it. After all, it seems like every time it's coming close to a boiling point, there's another attack and I get to see him in action again. The brave, strong hero that other people are so sure died out with the chivalry.
It reminds me again of how he's so unique, which reminds me of how gently he'd treated me after he'd saved me from a ghost attack. How he can make such a natural change, from a superhero fighting to do the right thing to a boy my age with a cute smile and a warm laugh…
And I'd fall in love with him all over again.
Can you say the same thing? I don't think so. Even if we like the same guy, we're too different to like him for the same reasons. You probably like him for some creepy, weird reason I'd never be able to understand, just like you'd never understand how my insides melt every time he asks me if I'm okay.
Those are the rare seconds I love most in my relationship with him. When his attention, his eyes, are on me and me alone, and his question is only meant for my ears. That's when the rest of the world melts away, and he and I are the only things that matter…
…And that's usually when you bring us crashing rudely back to reality with some weird thing you'd do to ruin the moment, on purpose I'm sure.
That's usually the moment my hatred for you goes up another notch, too.
I want to be the one who loves him
Knowing that he loves me back
So now I sit here wondering
What it is that I lack…
Still, there's not much else I can do here, waiting for him to love me and trying to stop him from loving you. Maybe it's a useless battle, maybe I'm being selfish, but I can't say I care all that much about things like that.
After all, the people who stop and wonder about those things are the ones who lose what they want. Only the ones who will give up everything to get everything will get anywhere in life- that's something Papa taught me when I was a little girl.
And right now, there's nothing I want more than the Ghost Boy.
So I guess that makes us officially rivals now, huh? Because you want him, too? You may deny it, but everyone sees the secret glances, the protectiveness, the anger and jealousy when another girl starts to flirt with him…
Somehow, though, that doesn't really surprise me all that much. After all, we've fought about nearly everything else, why not add a guy into the mix, right? This is just another chance for us to go head to head, another way for us to fight bitterly until the end, when only one of us comes out the winner, the one who gets the boy of her dreams.
Fair enough, I suppose. Just know that this time, I'm not going to be the one to lose, Sam Manson…
WoM- I did every other girl twice, so I figured 'what the heck!' Paulina needs a little representation around here too every once in a while… Anywho, I think this one came out better then Ojos Verdes. Darker and a little more possessive… 'Rabid fan of anything morbid' I think you can blame some of the new stories I'm planning out for this one…
Once again, if you want any more info on upcoming stories, check out my forum Taste of Insanity, since it's easier to keep up with them there then on my bio. I'm probably going to post the story that gets the most response first, which right now is a toss up between Father of my Son, Ghost of You and Ghost Town).
On another note, I have a contest going on over on Deviantart for people to draw up scenes for these poems. There's a link on my bio, and more information in the Erato's Abode section of Taste of Insanity, where you can also feel free to ask questions.
IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE!
I'm sure most of you have already heard about this, but if not then I'm going to tell you now. I've gotten knowledge recently that someone has stolen one of my stories and posted it as their own on another site. To say that such a blatant act of plagiarism makes me angry is a DRASTIC understatement.
Honestly, I was tempted to pull all of my stories off the internet, but the fact that a reader of the story was the one who alerted me to this crime made me change my mind about that, since it reminded me that even if one person betrayed my trust in such a terrible way, I still had a lot of loyal readers who could help me become a better writer.
Still, I want everyone to keep an eye out for any more copycats of any of my works, and alert me the second you see someone using my story under any name other then WingsOfMorphius. I've already received notice that there was one other person out there who copied the exact same story, but thankfully that person dropped the story before I had to take action.
Just as before, I end this grim note by thanking the readers who remained loyal and trustworthy to me and adding another thanks to everyone who's been showing sympathy and anger over the situation in whole.
Thanks to;
alboc, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Moss Royal, Samantha-Girl Scout, conan98002, Lumias, midnightgoth9, SSpHaC, Light Dragon SunsSong, kdm13, robtitan, Crossover Fiend
Next Poem; Forgotten
See you then!