Destined To Meet Or Fated Crossings? Chapter 7 Inspirations and Realizations
"Well sense either of you is willing to give an explanation I suggest you listen. I think both of you is harboring feelings that neither of you want to admit. The first thing is to admit it to your selves I suggest to take a few days to think about it. I suggest that you spend a week away from each other, and think about it. That is your punishment for acting like children."
She said looking at them. Erik stood, and glared at them both. He then whisked his cape and left the room through a shadowed corner. Raoul got up too, looking at her, before leaving. He spent the next week thinking about what had happened between them. He had realized the reason he got so mad at Erik was that he had seen him too soon.
But did he have feelings for this Phantom? He sighed as he, sat in his music room. Why did he have feelings for the Opera Ghost? Wouldn't Erik rather kill him then spend time with Raoul? Maybe that's why he didn't want feelings for Erik…rejection or worse. Of course somewhere deep inside he knew Erik hadn't made that sand bag fall, but he had to say something…and he was trying to protect his heart.
He was afraid of his feelings for Erik. Afraid that they would drive him to insanity, afraid they'd never be returned. He sighed and slumped in his chair more starring at his Violin. But what if they were returned? Raoul smiled thinking about listening to Erik play music (he was sure Erik played music because of the look of passion he had seen on Erik's face when ever music was played). He thought about Erik helping him with his Violin his hands gently guiding him to correct him, rewarding him with touches and kisses when Raoul did something right. That would be nice.
Raoul finally realized that he indeed had feelings for Erik. They were very strong and he was sure it was love. Raoul has crushes before and none of them even came close to the way Erik made him feel, the way Erik made him think…the way he made Raoul's breath catch. He shivered thinking of how Erik would lean down to tell him secrets or say things that would make Raoul want him…his hot breath dangling on his ear and neck. Oh God, Raoul thought letting him self moan at the thought. But could he tell Erik how he felt?
He had to, even if Erik didn't feel the same. Raoul had to get it off his chest or he would go insane! He was glad that at the end of this week was an Opera and he knew that surely Erik would attend weather it was to cause havoc or listen…either way he would be there. That would be the perfect time to tell him, he thought. So that would be his fate, the night of an Opera Raoul would confess to Erik how he felt. He could not sleep for the next few days; he was so nervous and scared. He couldn't help but wonder what Erik would do to him if he didn't return his feelings. On the flip side he didn't know what Erik would do to him if he did return his feelings.
Raoul blushed as he let good thoughts take him into dream land.
Erik sat at his Organ tapping at the keys as if he was poking someone. He was deep with in his own mind. Ok even if he had feelings for Raoul…he would be dangerous. He's never had a lover…or been with people enough. Raoul seemed do outgoing, though he of course knew when to be serious, but Raoul liked to be around people. Erik on the other hand was reserved and didn't like to be social…and he certainly didn't want to make Raoul only have his company. He was afraid he just wouldn't be enough for Raoul.
Sure, he wouldn't keep Raoul in the lair after all there were times when Erik him self didn't want to be there. But still surely Raoul wouldn't want to stay cooped up for as many hours as Erik liked to be there. Erik isn't sure if he wants to be Roaul's first real commitment (he looks to young to have had many relationships). He wasn't sure if Raoul even returned his feelings. Soon his fingers grazed across the Organ in a sad tune. Weather he liked it or not the feelings he had towards Raoul and any feelings he had involving Raoul inspired him.
He had written some good things on music he had given up on long ago. He knew if someone inspired him so much they meant something to him. Erik stopped playing a moment. He loved Raoul…or at least something very close…no it was love dead on. He wasn't sure when…or how it happened. But he loved him. Ok…so now what? Now that you admit it to your self…what next; you admit to the person? Erik frowned, but he knew he'd have to tell Raoul…he didn't think he could hold them in around Raoul much longer.
And the Opera would be a perfect time. Raoul was sure to attend, even if he was cross with Erik. No emotion surpasses one's love for music...or at least that's how Erik feels. And with the look of passion he's seen on Raoul's face…listening to music…playing his Violin. He knew he felt the same way Erik did...when it comes to music that is. So the plan was set…make it so Raoul would have to go to his box…at least for a couple of minutes…and tell him.
Though he's not sure how Raoul would act to his feelings. If he didn't return them he'd probably be disgusted…but what of he did? Could Erik trust him with his secrets? His distortion…could Raoul handle it? A part of him said yes. If he did feel the same way as Erik did…he would accept any imperfections Erik had…because that is what Erik would do for Raoul. This was going to be hard, and rather…like running a mile. But he had to do it for Raoul and him self.
And my music, he thought as he continued playing.
"For me…and my music."
He agreed out loud.
Fin
An: Not huge but oh well.