A/N: helllllooooo all my fellow readers. I am back from my month long trip in Oxford, catching up on summer homework, and of course, writing for all you lovelies. Enjoy! And if any of you could leave a quick review that would be fantastic.
Daydreaming is (Uber) Fun…
A one-shot by MissMarauder5
Playing a prank and not getting caught..
No wait, playing a prank and not getting caught, while eating mouth watering strawberries covered in chocolate.
Wa wa wa wa wait. No. Playing a prank, not getting caught, eating chocolate covered strawberries, after having won the final Quidditch match of the season…against Slytherin.
HA! Now would that be wicked dream, or what?
Do ya know what would also be a good dream?
Hehehe.
Me and Lily covered in chocolate and having…. Um…having um…
Never mind.
--Clears throat and turning a wee bit pink---
Ok, yeah, so they would be good dreams. But let me tell you. The one I'm having as I speak to you is as good as all of them, if not better. Ok, so maybe the last daydream can't really be topped, but this one is a close contender.
Let me just fill you in a little before the dream …
I am sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall with my fellow chums (this part is actually real—the part before the glorious daydream. I'm just setting the scene.)
Now as I drifted to lala Lily land (a.k.a the daydream), the following happened…
I called (quite gallantly) through a mouthful (of delectables), Lily's name. Then, the Lily (in question) turned around and looked at me (apparently waiting for me to continue).
(P.S. I swallowed after she looked at me, as to not be rude.)
(P.S.2. parenthesis rock.)
(I mean it.)
(They're just so much fun.)
Now I know what you're thinking. (Getting back to the story where I'm almost asking Lily Evans out. And yes I'm using parenthesis again. Hehehehe. And you can't stop me.) You're thinking, "JAMES DON'T SCREW UP, DAMN IT!"
Trust me. That's what I was thinking too…I think. Or that's what I would have been thinking had this not been an alternate universe where delicious, chocolate covered Lilies and strawberries are there to satisfy my every demand.
Wait…
That came out wrong. What I meant was…
Screw it.
Hey! I'm a guy. And this is my mind we're talking about.
What? You don't get it? Okay, I'll explain it to you in a simple mathematical equation.
A (hot) seventeen year old young man + alone with his thoughts, in the same vicinity as the love of his life yields pleasing (or dirty) thoughts.
Okay so then I look into her deep green eyes, and DID WHAT NO MAN SHOULD HAVE TO DO!
I-I told her my feelings.
Not really. Hahaha. Fell for that one didn't you? I just asked her to go out with me. I mean, please. What do you want from me?
Blood?
My invisibility cloak?
A-Hundred-Ways-To-Pee-Upside-Down, by: Johnston Lid?
Just strip me of all my necessities, why don't you.
But moving on, she of course said yes, and then proceeded to kiss me on the cheek and walk away with her friends.
No doubt telling them how great she thinks I am.
The guys are of course in awe at my superior skills. Sirius has his jaw dropped, Remus is closing his book to pay his respects, and Peter is bowing down to me.
YOU know. The usual.
I then of course brush it off, as if it were of no real importance, and insist that they keep their brownies to themselves.
Hell who am I kidding? I accept all their brownies and tokens of their admiration.
So there you have it. Lily has (in this make-believe universe) miraculously accepted going on a date with me, and in the course of the time prior to the said date, has with out doubt, not yelled at me, deemed me pond scum or threatened me with her famous bat bogey hex, has not blown up at me for saying 'hello', has not given me her "Lile-e-evil eyes", or rolled her eyes at me.
Not once!
In fact, she has only done quite the opposite! She smiled at me! When I gave her one of my dashing smiles –my smile is known as one of my best features and instantly gives me a choice of circa 99.2 percent of the female population at Hogwarts (left over are female teachers and Evans until now)—anyway, when I gave her my trademark smile, she smiled back!
And when I slyly winked at her seductively like I usually do, instead of slapping me like she usually does, she winked back provokingly!
That's right.
You heard correctly.
She didn't just wink back like a person would when playing a joke on someone else, or telling a white lie to another person and winking to your friend, but a legitimate, steadfast, sexy wink.
Me, shocked of course, and not to mention turning very red (again, from shock! Not embarrassment!) and feeling my heart pounding in my ears, found myself being sweetly laughed at by the wonderful Lily Evans before she walked away shaking her head.
And I must say all I could think of was: "Damn. Can you say fit?"
And then good ol' Sirri slapped my back in congratulations and laughed.
I think my poor hormones are still recovering (NO not from Sirius, you dolt! Ewww..that's just..ewwww). Did I mention that she looks really good? (Though she would in real life as well). Her thick and shiny, crimson red hair flowed on her shoulders and her green eyes sparkled more than ever. Could it be because of me? Nah. 'course not.
So anyway, in my glorious dream, I gallivant off with, no wait; I carry Lily bride-style out of the Common Rooms with people catcalling.
And THEN we go to Hogshead (only the best place ever) on our aforementioned "date".
I am in my best-dark-blue washed out jeans and my black polo shirt and the cologne I know she loves. And she is in a VERY short skirt (ookay so maybe I exaggerate. It's a respectable length, but still…it was short enough to make me want to..um..let just say.. fulfill those other chocolaty daydreams I've been having.)
And, to top it ALL off, my hair has miraculously decided to behave! Well—sort of. It would more than miracle if actually did behave a hundred percent. But it is the best I've ever seen it. Not like it really matters though, I'm pretty much aware of the fact that girls love my hair super messy as well. YOU know. It gives off the whole "relaxed bad boy" look. It's sexy.
Moving on, not only do I look damn right attractive, and I must say, so does she, but I have not said one prick-headed thing this entire time. In fact, I've been quite the gentleman.
--clears throat—
5 steps to becoming a gentleman:
1. Wear awesome smelling cologne (I'll get to why later)
2. Offer your hand when getting off one of those weird carriages that don't have horses. How do they move? Honestly? Sirius said something about it being the same leprechauns that steal Pete's cookies.
3. Say "You look very nice today" and not "You are fucking fit did you know that?"
4. Let her choose the place to eat. Even if the place looks like it's designed for girls, frilly, and most likely a tea party cult gathering location.
Have I mentioned I hate frilly things?
I REALLY hate frilly things. I mean it's just so degrading to manhood in general. I might as well shoot myself in the back. I might as well apologise to the area-not-generally-displayed-to-the-public-unless-you're-Sirius-and-James-at-three-years-old-and-in-a-batman-capes-in-your-backyard and tell it I've gone on vacation! I might as well grow my hair out really long and wear a dress!
Okay. You get the point. It's really really really really really bad.
Ah you see, but that's why we have James' ingenious steps...
You see you then (very subtly) infer that you would be just a tad bit more comfortable in Hogshead and that you didn't like the way the waitress talked to her. (even if the lady did nothing out of the ordinary).
5. Once at Hogshead, resist urges to kiss her and actually look at her eyes to listen what she has to say. This way, you won't look like you're completely incapable of speech or intellect.
And that ladies and gentleman, is how I, James Potter, got Lily Evans (in my daydreams) to kiss me (as I most likely would not be able to perform such heroic and chivalrous gestures in real life).
I repeat, I got Lily Evans to kiss me! (IN MY DREAMS!...ok…I really don't like parenthesis now).
I could sing!
DECK! THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HO-LLY,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY…
Wait..wrong celebration. Oh well.
Anyway, the whole kissing thing was so sudden! (in my dreams!...okay this is just depressing me.)
I was merely the innocent lamb or purity …
(shut up Sirius)
…and was looking at the menu when it happened. I was suddenly struck by a pair of divine and God inspired lips.
Well for both my gentlemanly ways and the fact that and I was wearing awesome smelling cologne, of course. Ok so let me tell you how awesome-smelling-cologne works.
You put enough awesome-smelling-cologne on so that you don't reek of it but to where it's definitely perceptible to the untrained female. (And naturally the precise amount is applied in this daydream.)
Then you leave it to work everything else out for you. Basically she'll just keep wanting to be close to you to smell you.
And that's the reason why she decided to sit next to me in the booth and lean her head on my shoulder and wrap her delicate arms around my abdomen.
Needless to say I am at this point feeling very studly. (And smirking at my accomplishment.)
Notice how I haven't really mentioned any real dialogue between Lily and me. That's the only flaw in daydreams I suppose.
That and you can't feel anything. (Which is a grand shame, I must say…)
You don't actually imagine every piece of the conversation, but rather what you would be talking about as a whole.
Like I know we're talking about something highly controversial and intellectual 'cause that's just the type of person Lily is. And I like to argue. We're also probably discussing troll rights and their impact to the vast British public.
Yeah.
And then I see her eyes light up as they usually do when she gets particularly excited on a certain topic.
And now she's nuzzling her face into my chest as the cold, icy wind has just brushed over us due to the door that recently unexpectedly flew open. More customers will have entered.
Except do you know what I wouldn't expect to be hearing? A murmuring sound. It sounds a lot like…
"Jabes," mumbled a voice into my chest. The warmth dispelled from the voice warmed the cottony fabric of my shirt and sent chills up my spine.
"Why does your cologne smell like funky turtles?"
What! Funky turtles? Wait so if it's not the cologne, then why is she so content to be snuggled up against me?
Wait……that can only mean that she…
…..
…
In case you're wondering, I have a VERY satisfied smile on my delectable face.
"Funky turtles, eh?" I felt her giggle into my upper chest region as I tickled her sides and took a sip of the butterbeer.
" hahaha James haha stop," Lily squirmed, "hahaha it or I'll hahaha hit haha you."
My hands froze where they were on her hips and the grin slid off my face.
My eyes widened and heart quickened.
"James? What's wrong?" Lily said in a serene voice, looking up at me.
I couldn't believe it.
Was Lily Evans really having a conversatio—
………
(Slow breath intake)
OH. MY. BLUE-COLOURED-DINASOUR.