Chapter 6:
I wake up to the sound of passing traffic. I sit up on the stairs and watch the cars roll by. I look at my watch. 8:07am. Beautiful. I have to walk to school and I'm going to be late. I stand up to start my journey and notice that my shirt is wet. "What the hell?" I say out loud. Wonderful! It rained last night. Oh well. I can't wear anything else so I'll just have to air dry. Fifteen minutes after I started walking a car pulls up beside me and the window rolls down to reveal a smile. Miroku's smile.
"Hey, Alicia. Want a ride?"
I look around and take in my surroundings. I can feel tears returning to my eyes. "No," I say quietly.
"Come on just get in," Miroku says. He sounds worried. "Come on."
Reluctantly, I get in. "Thanks."
"No problem. You look awful ya know."
"Yeah, well you would to if you slept out in the pouring rain."
"You slept outside!"
"I got locked outa my house. Where else was I gonna go?"
"I see your point. Anyway…I wanted to thank you."
"For what?"
"For sticking up for me last night. No one else woulda done that."
"Whatever."
"Naraku…he uhh…I think he wants you to go back. He got all quiet after you left then just took off to his room and stayed there all night. Sesshomaru tried to get him to call you but he wouldn't answer the door."
"Wouldn't have done any good. I wasn't there to answer the phone and even if I was, he doesn't have my number."
"Oh. Well…he wants you back there…I can tell…So can Sessho-"
"I'm not goin back. He told me to get out. So I did. I ain't goin back. I can't be his friend if we're gonna fight all the time."
"But he wasn't fighting with you. He was fighting with me…and you sorta got caught in the middle."
"Either way."
"Can I still be your friend?"
"Maybe. I dunno."
"Okay…because I'm friends with Naraku right?"
"Uh huh."
"I understand…Naraku's ju-"
"I don't wanna talk about Naraku!" I say louder than I meant to. Miroku looks startled. "Please. I can't right now."
"Okay. I'm sorry."
We pull up to the school and get out. "Thanks for the ride," I say quietly.
"Anytime."
I get to science just before the ball rings and sit next to Koga. "Hey," he says.
"Hey."
"So how'd your day go yesterday?" Ginta asks.
"Sucked."
"It'll get better," Hakkaku smiles."
"Doubt it."
"It was that bad, huh?" Koga says.
"Worse."
I'm pretty quiet the rest of the day, only speaking when I'm spoken to. In pre-calculus, I sit as far away from Naraku as I can. Which isn't very far because I didn't quite get there before everyone else. I could feel Naraku looking at me but pretended not to notice. I can hear Miroku and Sesshomaru whispering.
"She doesn't look too good."
"She slept out in the rain last night…she was locked outa her house."
"How do you know that?"
"I picked her up when she was walkin here…she told me."
"Oh. I feel kinda bad for her. She looks so…sad and lost."
"I know."
"Naraku, why don't you just go talk to her."
"'Cuz she hates me."
"No she doesn't…she's just scared. She doesn't know what to do now. Just go talk to her. Tell her how you feel." Miroku urges him.
The bell rang. Naraku stands up. I can tell he's going to come my way. I quickly grab my books and head out the door. I spend my lunch hour in the washroom. I didn't want to, but I didn't want to be around anyone. When the bell rings, telling us it's time to go to our next class, I slowly walk towards the gym. When I turn down the hall I see Bankotsu ahead of me. He's by himself so maybe he won't bug me. Further ahead I see Sesshomaru standing in the doorway of the gym looking frantically at the people walking through the hallway. He sees Bankotsu before he sees me. He glares at him coldly, but Bankotsu doesn't notice. Ms. Marlborough comes from behind him and says something that makes Sesshomaru sit on the bench by the wall. I walk through the door. Sesshomaru looks at me and runs over to me.
"Where were you at lunch? I was looking for you. I thought maybe Bankotsu got a hold of you."
"I was…around." I say. I notice Bankotsu smirking at me from behind Sesshomaru. I ignore him.
"Did Bankotsu do anything to you then?"
"No."
"Okay," he sighs.
"I gotta go change."
"Okay."
I go to the locker room and change into my gym clothes. When I return to the benches, I notice that Miroku is now with Sesshomaru. He smiles at me and waves for me to sit next to him. I stop and stare for a moment trying to decide whether or not I should. I decide against it and sit on the floor away from the bench instead. Miroku and Sesshomaru look at me, then each other, then back at me. Their faces fall when they realize that I have absolutely no intentions of going to sit with them.
We play dodgeball for most of the period. Whenever I got my hands on a ball, I channeled all my anger, sadness, and confusion into the game and took out whoever I felt like. Miroku, Sesshomaru, and some other kids I didn't know were on my team for the first game. Bankotsu joined us in the rest. I did my best to avoid all bodily contact with him throughout the game. Near the end of class we got to do whatever we felt like. I sat by the wall watching everyone else until someone kneeled down beside me. Bankotsu. He was holding two rackets and a birdie. "Wanna play a little badminton?"
"…I guess," I say. He smiles and helps me to my feet. Handing me a racket he leads me to a clear spot on the floor to play. We didn't actually have a game, we just hit the birdie back and forth. I don't know if it's because he can't or because he's trying not to, but he isn't hitting the damn thing straight, causing me to run around like a chicken with its head cut off. He doesn't laugh at me, but he's smiling the whole time. I thought I was going to faint at one point. I haven't eaten anything since the chicken soup Naraku gave me and I'm getting overheated.
Bankotsu notices my rapid sweating and says, "You like a rough work out baby?"
"I told you not to call me baby."
"And if I don't listen?"
"You really wanna find out?"
"Alright, alright, I won't call you that."
Ms. Marlborough instructs the class to put the their equipment away because the bell is going to ring soon. Bankotsu walks over to me slowly and holds his hand out.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Give me the racket so I can put it away," he laughs.
"Oh," I blush. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it beautiful," he says as he brushes some of my bangs out of my eyes. I pull back slightly and his smile grows.
"I gotta go change," I say and take off for the locker room again.
When I come back from changing, Sesshomaru is standing by the door waiting for me. I glance at him then back at the ground and walk by.
"Are you gonna be okay?" he asks as he jogs up to me.
"What do you think!" I say and stop abruptly. He stops at the same time and looks at me.
"I don't think you are."
"Wow, aren't you a smart one?"
"Hey, just because you're mad at Naraku doesn't mean you have to take it out on me."
"I'm not mad at him."
"Then why won't you talk to him?"
"Because he hurt me! I can't trust someone who's gonna hurt me!"
"He didn't mean anything…he can be a sensitive guy. You've had a real impact on him you know. Overall he's a nice guy…but he's really changed since he met you."
"I haven't even known him for a week!"
"I know! It's amazing, he used to be so cold to people who weren't his friends or family…but since you came around he's been nice to other people. And Miroku would agree."
"So what…it doesn't change the fact that he hurt me…I still can't trust him."
"Look…please…just talk to him…he misses you he really wants to speak to you."
"I don't think so."
"Will you at least think about it?"
"…Fine." I sigh.
"Thank you. See you after break." He says and takes off.
"'Kay."
I'm about to start walking again when someone speaks from behind me.
"So you and Naraku had a fight huh?" it says. It's a guys voice. I know who it is. I've heard that voice before…it's a voice that I'll probably never forget.
"Yes." I say.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't lie to me Bankotsu. I hate it when people lie to me."
"I'm not lying. I really am sorry for you. I don't think you should have to go through that. You're new here still, it's not fair for him hurt you, as you said he did."
I turn around and look Bankotsu in the eye. I'm about to rip a strip off of him when I notice something in his eyes. A sparkle. What is this? Sympathy? Does he actually feel that way? No. He can't. He's Bankotsu. But he is human. Upon closer inspection…it is! He cares! But how!
As if he read my mind, he answers me. "I'm not just some cold heartless bastard you know." I stare at him stunned, mouth hanging open. "I do have feelings. I do have morals and beliefs. I do care about people…And I do care about you."
"You tried to rape me!"
"Yes. At first I thought you were just some piece of ass that I wanted…but I've seen a lot today…you're actually a really good person. I don't know how I've come to that conclusion but I have. I apologize for what I did to you yesterday…it won't happen again."
"Umm…you do know that a simple 'Sorry' doesn't change the fact that you almost raped me."
"Yes. I know. But an apology is all I have to offer. If I could go back in time and change my actions I would…but…"
"Thank you…I guess…" I say. I'm far too shocked to say anything else.
"We better get going."
"Huh?"
"We're gonna be late for class."
"Oh…yeah."
Bankotsu walks me to my classroom, gives my shoulder a quick squeeze, then hurries off to his own class. I enter the classroom to find myself a seat. I sigh and grumble when see the only available seat…right beside Naraku. I wonder if Sesshomaru and Miroku set this up. As I walk over to sit down, I notice Naraku looking at me through desperate eyes, and a sad smile on his face. I stare cold, icy daggers at him. His half-hearted smile drops. When I sit, Sesshomaru-who is across from me-watches me silently, then he looks at Naraku, and back at me.
"Why were you with Bankotsu?" Sesshomaru asks.
"No reason," I say.
"You know he's not safe don't you?" Naraku says.
"He's not so bad…not as bad as some people that I could name anyway." Through the corner of my eye I see a muscle in his jaw twitch. I hurt him…and it felt good. Sooooo good. But not for long. I soon realize that by hurting Naraku, I'm also hurting myself because I'm hurting someone that I care about.
The bell rings. I gather my books and stand up to leave. I'm one of the last ones to leave. The room is only occupied by the teacher, Naraku and myself. Before I get a chance to pass Naraku, he lightly grips my wrist, forcing me to face him. "I need to speak to you," he says. "I need you to hear me out, to hear how I feel." I say nothing. I just stare at him. "When are you free?" I shrug. "What are you doing now?"
"I was gonna look for Bankotsu." I say. My voice is free of all emotion. Naraku frowns.
"Alicia, Bankotsu isn't safe to be around. He can be really dangerous-"
"Maybe so…but at least he won't get mad at me all the time and yell at me for doing what I think is right."
"I'm not mad. I was never mad-"
"Then what was it Naraku? You just felt like toying with me?"
"No! No. I don't know why I did it. I was just…I wanted you to be okay. I didn't want you to have to think about what Bankotsu did or might do to you. I never meant to yell at you like that. I-"
"Naraku," I say, noticing the stares we're getting from the teacher. "this really isn't the place for this," and with that I give a glance in the teacher's direction. She quickly looks away. Naraku gets the point.
"Okay. Let's go somewhere else."
"Like where? I'm not going to your place and I'm not getting in a car with you."
"So let's walk…we'll go to the park."
We walk to the park in silence. Neither of us talking. Naraku watches me every now and then but I ignore him. At the park he motions for me to sit on the bench next to him. I shake my head and look around taking in the scenery. It's a quiet place, a few trees that were planted here hold green leaves that dance in the light breeze. The swings squeak and the teeter-totters creek.
Naraku sighs. "I don't know what to say to make you forgive me. Obviously an apology isn't gonna be enough for you. I need your help on this one, Alicia. I need you to tell me what to say or do to make you forgive me."
"…I don't know if I can forgive you."