Title: Wilson, NC

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K

Characters: Lita, Edge, OC
Summary: There's a time and a place for everything, for Lita, that place was Wilson and the time was now.

Chapter 1

Lita couldn't believe it as she marched across the cold hard concrete away from Wilson County Country Club wielding the golf club she had just stolen from a very frightened golfer. She felt like a serial killer, if anyone saw her right now she was bound to be reported but she couldn't stop swinging the metal object, something had come over her; it was like the golf club was an extension of her rage as she swung it back and forth like she were actually playing the sport, only instead of hitting a ball she was hitting Edge over and over again. If I did kill Edge where would I bury the body? Okay that's too far, just one more pretend whack – whack! Suddenly the sound of a golf cart motor caught her mid-swing and she turned around to see the angry red face of the man she had stolen the golf club from. She raised her eyebrow concertedly; Oh break up my Edge-killing fantasy why don't you! Gees he looked a lot better when he was scared of me she thought eyeing the man in the passenger seat.

"My goodness she's crazy," said one of the golfers to the red-faced owner of the golf club, "I say we call the police,"

"On a woman? Don't be ridiculous let's just go get my golf club back," said Mr Red Face. His buddy gave him a confused look like he was crazy himself.

"Er Doug, didn't she just steal your golf club? What makes you think she's gonna hand it over now?"

"I was in shock Harry, she didn't know who she was messing with, now, her ass is mine!" Doug said jumping out of the golf cart and clenching his fists making sure he looked tough before whispering out of the side of his mouth, "Besides I've got you guys to back me up, right?"

"Uh-huh," they all muttered to themselves waiting for Doug to make the first move.

Lita looked down at the sorry bunch of middle-aged golfers and shook her head in pity for them, for the way they were dressed for the way they . . . were dressed, but it wasn't like they had done anything wrong they just happened to be the kind of headache she didn't need at that particular instant. They were telling her what she couldn't do, in this case it was walk across the green during a tournament finale. She had crossed the line but unfortunately they had crossed hers too.

"Hey you!" Doug yelled 20ft from where the gorgeous red-head was standing, "give me back my golf club NOW!"

"Hey I didn't even want your stupid golf club okay? All I wanted was for somebody to tell me where the Hell I was!" Lita yelled back.

"You wanna know where you are? Turn around and look at the sign!" Harry yelled. Lita turned and looked up: 'Welcome to Wilson County' she read. She turned back around her hair whipping around with her.

"Why didn't you just say so before?" she demanded.

"In the middle of a game? At the end of a tournament? Are you crazy woman?" yelled one of Doug's buddies from inside the cart.

"Yeah, what's wrong, don't you have any girlfriends you could talk to?" said another golfing buddy squaring his shoulders in a baggy golf shirt.

"Maybe there's some ladies back at the country club that will give her the time of day," another one of them said and then lowered his shades to give Lita a good once over, "Then again maybe not,"

Lita looked at the club she was holding realizing that she didn't have any girlfriends to talk to, she sighed pulling a lock of hair behind her ear and scratched the back of her head with the head of the club.

"Yeah you're right, I don't have any girlfriends to talk to. All I have is a bunch of middle-aged golfers telling me to be quiet so they can put a stupid ball down a stupid hole! Well you know what I say to people who tell me to be quiet? I TELL THEM TO GO TO HELL!"

Lita turned around and whacked the sign that said 'Welcome to Wilson County' hard making several deep dents in it that would make a bulldozer cringe. The golfers looked on in horror gasping as the metal sign was almost pounded unrecognizable by the angry woman in the baggy green cargo pants. Lita could feel herself losing control but she couldn't stop hitting the warm and friendly sign, it was like everything else in her life at that point: a big fat lie and she couldn't take it anymore.

Doug and Harry looked at each other as the red-head whacked the sign to Hell eventually cracking it right down the middle. Flicking her hair back Lita surveyed her work, the sign was destroyed and she found herself smiling for the first time in days. She walked towards the petrified men in funny socks and hats resting the club over her shoulder and once in direct contact with the owner she handed the weapon over to him like a criminal surrendering their gun.

"After some consideration I've decided not to opt for membership, I gotta lotta practice swings in there though don't you think?" she said humorously. The golfers just stared at her in complete silence and the metal club fell to the floor with an audible clank, "Good luck with the tournament," she said and walked away leaving them with their jaws on the concrete. It was better that they didn't say anything anyway, not with the mood Lita was in and she wasn't done yet not by a long shot.

Doug looked at the club that had fallen by his feet and picked it up slowly fearing that touching it would cause him to become an enraged female like the one walking away from him. Holding it in his hand he felt how warm it was, like it had been through a fire.

"Come on Doug let's get back to the country club, Missy and Darlene are probably gonna send a search party out for us soon," Harry said patting his friend on the shoulder.

"I agree," his buddy said fanning himself after reflecting on what just happened while watching Lita melt into the horizon like a drop of red wine on a new shirt.

"Me too, let's get the Hell outta here, I need a glass of lemonade to cool me down," said his other buddy removing his sweater from around his neck and wiping the sweat from off his forehead.

Doug didn't oblige them just then instead he went over to the area where Lita had pounded the welcome sign into oblivion. Looking down at the severity of the abuse to the sign he knew that the police were gonna wanna know what happened here. He picked up the sign and was overcome by a feeling of sadness at its battered state. His friends pulled up in the golf cart and told him to put the sign down and get in before somebody saw them. Doug looked ahead and saw the red-head disappearing from his sight obviously pleased with her violent display of exhibitionism and shook his head defiantly.

"No Harry, we can't let anyone just come around here and attack our community. I say we go after her!"

"Or we could call the police and have them arrest her for deformation of state property," Harry suggested simply.

"Good call, let's do that," Doug agreed.

"Yes we'll call the police and have that psycho arrested," Harry said.

"Alright then, let's do it," Doug affirmed.

"Right after the tournament," Harry said.

"No Harry we can't leave the scene of the crime?" Doug protested.

"Doug the crime was theft, she stole the club from you at the country club, we'll call the police from there," Harry reasoned.

"But this is ten times worse, we have to do our civic duty and have that woman arrested now!" Doug argued.

"No we have to win the tournament and keep our winning streak in tact now!" Harry argued back.

"But our sign, she defaced our town sign!" Doug pleaded shaking the sign in his hands.

"And it will still be defaced in the morning, right now we have to win this tournament which has two hours remaining and if we don't there are gonna be a lot of subscription paying members who are gonna take a golf club to our heads, and that includes Missy and Darlene!"

Doug froze at the mention of his wife's name realizing Harry did have a point, not that Missy would approve of the sign being defaced either but the trophy did mean an awful lot to her and the club in general.

"Oh alright, we'll call the police right after the tournament but not a minute later," he conceded and put the sign back up as best he could. He looked up at it and it broke his heart thinking of how nice and friendly the sign had looked just minutes earlier and let out a deep sigh, "God help you woman," he said angrily at her blurry outline in the distance.

"It'll be dark soon Doug, nobody will notice," his sweater buddy said.

"Yeah I guess," Doug said sadly.

"Doug, she ruined the sign, don't let her ruin our winning streak," Harry said putting his hand over Doug's shoulder. Doug nodded and patted Harry on the hand.

"You're right Harry, let's go win that trophy for the third year in a row," he said and the idea of winning put a bounce in everyone's step all of a sudden.

"She won't get far, no money, no clothes, the woman's a bum, she'll stand out a lot with all that hair an' all, the police will find her in no time," Harry said.

"Yeah but Harry I gotta wonder," Doug said getting into the cart.

"What Doug?" Harry asked taking off as quickly as the cart would go.

"What was it that made that woman so gosh darn mad?" Doug said frowning as they rode back to the club.

"Doug that's for her to know and the police to find out," Harry answered hoping that all the commotion Lita had caused wouldn't affect Doug's playing on the green; she had caused enough trouble as it was.