Title: Wilson, NC

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K

Characters: Lita, Edge, OC
Summary: There's a time and a place for everything, for Lita, that place was Wilson and the time was now.

Chapter 3: She's Not Crazy, She's Just Not From Around Here

Edge decided to walk up to the front of the country club rather than follow Lita over the premises. When he entered nobody was around except a teenage girl in Doc Martins and cut off dungarees. Her hair was colored violet and black and she had several piercings in her left ear. Edge really didn't want to talk to her, most teenagers around here were either rabid Hardy Boyz fans or Shannon Moorons and he really didn't want to run this risk that she was both. But he had to get Lita out of there and there was nobody else he could talk to. Once again Edge swallowed his fear and approached the girl quickly.

"Excuse me but I need your help," he said as the girl looked up at him. She continued to pour out the lemonade like he wasn't even there and once again Edge felt the need to scratch the Hell out of his head.

"You see my girlfriend is out there somewhere and I don't know where she is. Could you please go find her and bring her back here so we can talk?" Edge continued unabated. The girl still ignored him and continued to fill the tumblers with lemonade in perfectly equal measures. Edge thought he'd change his tact and noticed she was wearing a Korn t-shirt.

"You like Korn, huh? Yeah me too," he said enthusiastically, "You know I know them I could see if I could get some tickets for you and your friends if you want?"

The girl gave no response and moved onto filling more glasses on the next table. Edge was determined and would not take no for an answer so he pressed on.

"Lemonade huh? Boy I could sure do with one of those," he said pointing to the glasses on the table in front of them. The girl looked up and smiled picking up one of the newly filled glasses as if to hand one to him, instead she dashed the lemonade right into Edge's unsuspecting face and refilled it along with several others as if nothing had happened. Edge wiped his face with the edge of his Rated R Superstar t-shirt realizing that maybe Lita had a point; doing publicity in NC was probably not a good idea. He walked away from the rebellious teenager and decided it would be best to just wait for Lita in the car.

Licking his lips he managed to at least enjoy some of the lemonade that was now sticking to his face thanks to the sun that was blazing across the sky. Advertising himself around North Carolina certainly wasn't a walk in the park but it was still who he was and he was damned if he was gonna let a little Korn loving brat make him look down on himself. He was the Rated R Superstar everywhere and Lita just like the rest of the world was just gonna have to come to terms with that. Edge stopped theorizing when he noticed his car had been vandalized, well branded really as someone had pounded a giant 'R' into the hood and written 'Rated' above it.

"She wouldn't," he reasoned with himself but then again around here it was hard to say who wouldn't. Still Lita was nowhere to be seen and he wondered if he should just run across the green and see if she was indeed throwing up by the lake. Then he saw a golf cart coming up on the side of the road and it was going faster than usual. As it came closer he could see four middle aged men dressed in full golfing gear, three of whom were waving their hands around in victory while the one in pink and yellow check socks who seemed a little down kind of like Edge right now.

As Doug exited the cart his friends pulled him towards the green trying to get him excited about winning the tournament. Edge approached the men before they could scamper off figuring that this was the only opportunity to get Lita back.

"Excuse me fellas, have you seen a fiery red-head by any chance?"

Harry, Doug and their two pals looked at each other and their faces turned sour. Harry spoke first.

"You know that psycho?" he said disgusted.

"Of course he knows her otherwise he wouldn't look so depressed," one of his buddies said and sniffed a little, "Do I smell lemonade?"

"Lemonade?" the other buddy said salivating, "Doug come on I'm thirsty let's go, we'll deal with that crazy woman later,"

"Look she's not crazy she's just not from around here," Edge said in Lita's defense.

"So being an out-of-towner gives her license to act like a maniac?" Harry said annoyed.

Edge frowned, "Act like a maniac? Do country club waitresses usually throw lemonade in people's faces or is it just me? What my girlfri – I mean Lita did couldn't be worse than that,"

"She defaced state property," Harry explained.

"Excuse me?" Edge exclaimed surprised.

"She took a golf club and whacked the town welcome sign to Hell," Doug said shaking his golf club at Edge.

"Sorry could you not shake that at me please?" he said sternly.

"Well maybe when you find your girlfriend you can tell her what it feels like to have someone threaten you with a golf club," Harry said annoyed.

"Which way did she go?" Edge asked worriedly.

"Down there on highway 70, she probably thinks she's gonna get away Scott free, well she's in for a surprise. Come on guys let's play some golf," Harry said turning towards the club.

"What do you mean?" Edge asked but the men ignored him and walked towards the green to finish their game. Edge sighed, he had an idea what they meant, Lita had defaced state property and they were gonna call the police on her. For the hundredth time that day Edge raked his hands through his hair and scratched his head violently wondering what the Hell was going on between him and Lita. Being the Rated R Superstar sure wasn't all it was cracked up to be, not with his favourite red-head mad at him. Edge was about to pull his hair out when a gloved hand touched him on the shoulder and he looked up into the face of the golfer with the sad expression.

"Who was it that threw the lemonade in your face?" Doug asked.

Edge shrugged, "I don't know, a teenage girl with black hair with a violet streak at the front,"

"Ellie," Doug cursed under his breath. Edge noticed a vein going straight down the middle of the man's head sticking out like a pipe as he ran his fingers over his face and began scratching furiously at the back of his head.

"Doug come on!" Harry called from the green but Edge could see that this man had no business swinging a club right now.

"Where's my hat?" Doug asked looking around helplessly for the lemon yellow visor that he wore to match his pink and yellow socks. Edge stumbled towards it on the floor and dusted it off on closer inspection he noticed that the man had stepped on his own hat and not realized it.

"Hey you don't need to wear this, the sun's going down now anyway," Edge said hiding the hat behind his back, "I'm not a member of your club but I'd love to watch you win that trophy,"

"You just want to talk me out of arresting your girlfriend," Doug replied nonchalantly.

"She's not my girlfriend," Edge said adamantly.

"Right I'm sure, look young man after the actions of that woman I don't think we need anymore foreigners on the green at Wilson County Country Club. Just stay away from my property, thanks," Doug said and turned away from Edge who was not pleased with the response he had just gotten.

"Okay then," he said and felt a pang of insanity suddenly beat through his head in the form of an idea that had him feeling particularly Lita-esque. Smiling mischievously he put Doug's hat on his head and took to the driver's seat of his newly christened SUV. "Looks like I'll have to go and find Lita myself but first, I think I'll say goodbye to good folks at Wilson County Country Club," he said and revved up the engine and swung the car in the direction of the green.

As Doug raised his club above his head ready to take his final swing he could have sworn he heard the loudest engine revving above the hill by the top of the green. He shook it off and looked down at the golf ball merely inches from the hole.

"No more distractions!" he said to himself and putted the ball into the hole winning the tournament for the third year in a row. The spectators threw their hands up in applause as the little white ball disappeared from sight and Doug pumped his fist in the air victoriously. Harry jumped over to Doug and hugged him frantically.

"I knew you'd do it!" He said, "Ellie come over and hug you're old man!" he said to the girl standing a little away from everybody showing no emotion in a very emotional environment.

"Lemonade's inside everybody," she said and caught her father looking at her hoping for some sign of pride etched over her vacant expression. Of course none came and she turned back towards the club just as the judges were handing Doug his trophy. In all his years as a competitor Doug couldn't remember a sadder victory.

"Ellie!" Missey yelled after kissing her husband on the cheek and noticing that her daughter wasn't joining in with the celebrations, "Come out here and celebrate with us!"

"That's my girl," Doug said somberly and Missey hushed him but it was true; this was how Ellie always acted around him and he wanted more than anything for things to change between them. As Missey went inside to force Ellie outside Harry sang Doug's praises to everybody with more hyperbole than a network news anchor.

"Come on everybody let's hear it for Doug!" Harry said beginning to applaud his best friend and everyone gradually joined into a rapturous wave of applause and Doug couldn't help but smile feeling some satisfaction that he was at least still appreciated by his peers.

"Thanks everybody, it's been quite a day whad'ya say we all go inside and get some lemonade?" he said and raised the trophy above his head to even more applause, the idea of lemonade playing a significant part this time he was sure. He lowered the trophy at the sight of his daughter being ushered toward him by her mother, her despondent expression telling him that this was the only way she was ever gonna come out to him. He looked at her downcast eyes with uncertainty; was she sad or did she just really hate him he wasn't sure but he wanted to find out.

"Ellie would you like to hold your father's trophy?" Missey asked with the warmest voice in the whole world clenching her daughter by the shoulders.

"It looks just like all the others," she replied vaguely.

Doug nodded his head, "Yes I guess it does. Hey sweetie I wanted to ask you something about a young man who claims that you did something very un-ladylike to him, do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Oh my God!" Ellie exclaimed her eyes widening in shock.

"Now Ellie there's no need for blasphemy," her father admonished her.

"Oh my God!" Missey echoed her eyes widening with equal disbelief.

"Missey!" Doug cried annoyed and his wife responded by pointing over his head. Doug turned to see a red SUV with some kind of logo imprinted on the hood heading toward the green.

"Get back!" Doug yelled pushing his daughter and wife over to the side as Edge came down to where the tournament was talking place, burning the engine like he was on a speed-racing track. He stopped abruptly in front of Doug who noticed he was wearing his yellow visor.

"I didn't wanna leave without introducing myself properly," he said smiling like a Cheshire cat and he turned the wheel guiding the tyres into making some sort of shape on the freshly cut grass. After the engraving he stuck his head out of the car window and lowered his sunglasses towards the cause of his malefaction.

"You may have made your mark in the tournament but I just made my mark on your green!" Edge said with a laugh at the huge R he had made in the grass, "Be careful who you disrespect it may just come back to bite you on the ass!" Edge said and threw the visor out of the car window whipping it through the air as he sped away leaving a sea of horrified faces in his wake. That is except for Ellie, she was ecstatic.

"Wait you forgot your lemonade!" she cried but Edge was gone to find Lita and regale her with stories of his most unsociable antics. The Rated R Superstar would do anything to see his best gal smile again and this stunt might just do the trick.