Respect me not

So this story is rewritten… be happy :)

Warnings: There still are mistakes in grammar, I think. Also Shounen-ai, which means malexmale love. NOT FOR KAIRI FANS! (or Naminé) Some self-destructive activities, drug using (maybe) and character death…

Pairings: SoraxRiku, one-sided SoraxAxel, WakkaxTidus, AerithxCid and maybe some more…

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not the Kingdom Hearts or the songs I use here.

Beta-reader: SomedayEternity

Chapter #1, A Prelude.

Brown-haired boy sat on a couch, trying to hold a cup of hot chocolate properly in his trembling hands. A young man next to him snorted and threw a blanket over the smaller male.

"What's the big idea going out in the midnight, and on top of it, it's raining. Damn, Sora, it's a miracle you didn't catch a cold!" Sora looked up at the other man, and smiled weakly. He took a gulp of his drink, before he started to protest.

"B-But Riku… M-m-y m-mom drove me o-out, b-b-because C-Cid wa-was coming o-over t-t-tonight… S-she s-s-s-said I w-wouldn't b-b-be ab-able to s-s-sleep tonight, I-If I sta-stayed…" he managed to mumble between his clattering teeth. Riku snorted once again, and leaned his back on the couch, while staring at Sora. An awkward silence came to the living room. Clock's ticking was the only thing that broke the stillness every now and then.

Sora quickly glanced at Riku, who continued to stare him. The brunette felt chills run down his spine, as he turned his eyes away from the silver-haired sex god. But he could still feel a pair of aqua-colored eyes following his each movement.

"Riku, why are you staring?" Sora blushed, and kept his eyes locked at the floor, which was covered with a black carpet. Riku folded his arms, and smirked. Sora knew that smirk meant that he was up to something evil. Every time Riku smirked like that, he was planning on something really cruel. Like at the times when they both were at the upper secondary school… or at the junior high… or at the upper level and lower level… or in the kindergarten… Damn, Riku had troubled him everywhere.

Their friendship was strange. Riku always liked to make fun of Sora in front of everyone, but yet they were inseparable. When they were at the kindergarten, everyone used to pick on the little, defenceless Sora. Until the day Riku came around…

(Flashback)

Five years old Sora was watching from afar happy children's play. He just smiled as he stared at them. Never had anyone asked him to come along, and play with them, but still he smiled his purest and the most genuine smile. You must be wondering now, why an isolated boy like him, could smile after being left alone? Well, no one really knew what Sora was thinking back then… Even if he smiled all the time, he often spoke.

Some girls, who were dressing their barbies suddenly turned their attention at Sora. They giggled then one of them came towards him, holding something behind her back. Expression on the brunette girl's face was everything but nice. But of course, a naïve Sora didn't see all the mean things behind that cruel smile… Noo… he just continued to smile.

"Oh, Sora… I bet you know me. I'm Kairi." Kairi chirped, while approaching Sora. Her too-sweet-fake smile would make everyone else doubt this girl's intentions, but not Sora. He never thought anything bad about the other people.

"You know… there's a year older boy than you, called Ansem… I wondered if you could… deliver this to him?" smiling, Kairi shoved a letter into Sora's hands, and left without even hearing Sora's reply. Sora glanced the brunette, then the letter. Yes, he knew Ansem, the biggest bully in the kindergarten. But he wasn't the first person he desired to meet with… but he couldn't turn down a request from a girl, now could he?

Sora inhaled a deep breath, the smile never leaving his lips. He bent down, and picked up his sketchpad, which was lying on the ground. Because no one wanted to play with him, he spent his time drawing. He was better than everyone in drawing, though no one ever noticed it. Or more likely, they didn't care.

Searching for Ansem with his gaze, Sora finally spotted a silver haired boy. He gathered all his courage, and started to head towards his target. Gulping, he tried to find his voice, "Uhh- A-Ansem?"

Ansem (1) slowly turned his head towards the smaller boy. Immediately a grin spread to his face, as he recognized Sora. All his friends also turned to stare at the brunette boy and every one of them had a stupid smirk on their faces. Whispers, and chuckles could be heard behind Ansem's back, but Sora ignored them, and just held out the letter for Ansem.

"A letter… for me? I didn't know you could write… uhh what was your name again? Sarah?" Ansem chuckled, but snatched the letter from Sora anyways. The said one just smiled and didn't even notice he had just been insulted.

Ansem quickly read the paper, his smirk fading, and turning to a frown. "What's this crap, you brat?" he suddenly raised his childish voice, as he threw the letter over his shoulder to his friends.

Sora, who became very confused because of Ansem's sudden outburst, was shoved against a brick-wall. Ansem grabbed his collar and narrowed his yellowish eyes. Gasping for air, Sora yelped, as he couldn't touch the ground with his feet anymore. Ansem lifted him even higher, so he could stare right into Sora's big azure eyes. The sketchpad, from Sora's grip, dropped down on the grass, with a silent 'thud'.

"What was that all crap you wrote about me?" Ansem shouted, looking extremely angry. Sora, however just stared, still smiling, yet only weakly. He couldn't understand the situation at all. He couldn't think anything that he had done, or said wrong. And that letter, it wasn't from him, it was from Kairi, so why he was blamed?

"It's not from me…" Sora mumbled weakly, as he tried to find his smile again. "…It was from… Kairi…"

"Kairi? KAIRI? Don't try to blame her, you maggot! It was all your fault, so you're gonna pay!" Ansem said, preparing his fist to give Sora a punch he wouldn't forget. The younger boy shrieked and closed his eyes. Then he waited… and waited… waited for the impact to his cheek, but it never came. In fact, he felt again ground beneath his feet, and he thought, whether he should open his eyes or not.

"Are you okay?" Someone asked. Sora slowly opened his eyes, and saw a silver haired boy, looking much like Ansem, yet much nicer and cooler. He had aqua-colored eyes, and his hair waved with the wind.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Riku… I'm new here." Riku said, and pulled Sora up. The brunette looked around, but didn't see Ansem anywhere near. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, and a familiar sincere smile came back to his lips.

"Well, are you going to give me your name or not?" Riku chuckled.

"O-oh! I'm Sora! Ni-nice to meet you!" Sora bowed quickly, causing the other boy laugh lightly. Riku bent down and picked up the blue sketchpad, and handed it over to Sora. Confused, from the polite gesture Sora took his pad, and smiled. Never before anyone had treated him like this. Riku was the first one who ever had been polite to him.

"Don't worry yourself too much." Riku chuckled and messed Sora's already messy hair. "…Looks like you're in a need of a friend."

(End of Flashback)

Riku waved his hand right in front of Sora's eyes. The brunette blinked, and focused his attention at the silver-haired man, who looked pretty amused. "Earth to Sora… Stop daydreaming." Riku grinned widely.

"Uhh… What? I wasn't daydreaming. Just thinking." Was a quick reply from Sora, who rolled his eyes. Being with Riku had changed him. He wasn't anything what he used to be. Okay, he was shy, and still a little quiet sometimes, but nothing compared what he was back then. Riku had awakened the devil inside of him.

Sora looked back at Riku, who was smirking again, like there would be no tomorrow, "Riku… please… that smirk is disturbing me… I know you're thinking about something… something CRUEL!"

But the smirk didn't fade- no it just grew even bigger. Sora really started to get nervous… he knew that smirk… that… that's 'LET'S WATCH A HORROR MOVIE!'- smirk! Bad memories came back into Sora's mind. It was just like when Riku tied him into a chair and made him watch 'The Exorcist'. Oh, how he was scared. And Riku, the devil, had found it very amusing, as poor Sora screamed, eyes closed. The brunette hated all of the horror movies, but somehow, Riku always managed to make him watch them.

"Have you heard about The Grudge?" Riku grinned, and pulled something from under the couch. Sora's eyes widened. Even the cover of The Grudge made him want to scream. No way he would watch that.

"N-NO!"

Riku became silent, and folded his arms. Sora knew he was again planning something mean. If Riku was smirking like a maniac- he had a plan, when he was silent- he was thinking a plan.

"I know… Sora, let's make a deal, hmm?" A smirk took its place on Riku's lips again. Sora gulped. "A…A deal?"

"Yes, dear Sora. A deal. We'll watch The Grudge-"

"NO!"

"Let me finish my sentence, okay?" Riku growled while frowning. "Okay, I'll hold you close, so you don't have to be afraid. Deal?" Sora's eyes widened. Did Riku try to fool him once again? Sora sighed. It was an unique change to get close to Riku, but to the other man it didn't mean anything, did it? And why did it mean so much to him? Sora shook his head, to drive away a thought of Riku embracing him.

"Come ooon, Sora!" Riku whined and poked Sora's arm. "I know you want me to hold you… like this…" Said Riku quietly, before leaning over Sora, and pushing the other boy down to lie on the couch. Sora gasped in shock, and slowly turned red as a ripe tomato.

"R-R-Riku!" the boy from beneath mumbled, confusion filling his voice. Riku, however, just laughed to the shocked boy, and lied on top of Sora. He gently poked the brunette's ribs, causing Sora to squirm. "W-w-wh-what are you d-doing R-R-Ri-Riku!"

"Just… holding you… close." A husky whisper into Sora's ear sent chills down his spine. All he wanted to do right now was die. These kinds of situations were too awkward for poor Sora. How come, Riku managed to stay cool, when he was trembling in excitement and shock? Not that he would have more than friendly feelings towards the silver-haired man. They were best friends, for god's sake!

Suddenly the weight on top of Sora disappeared, as Riku get up. He smirked, while he walked to the TV, and opened it. Sora watched in horror, when the other man put the DVD-disc into the DVD-player. He pulled the blanket from the floor up, and wrapped it around himself. The movie hadn't yet even started, and yet he was already scared to death.

Riku looked tiredly over his shoulder. "Don't tell me you're scared already, Sora. You're so lame." He made a face, and pushed 'play'-button.

"I-I'm not scared!" Sora protested quickly, and folded his arms under the fluffy blanket. Something that sounded like 'yeah right' could be heard from Riku, who grumbled quietly. The silver-haired man seized the remote-controller for DVD-player from the floor, and jumped back on the couch, next to Sora.

As The Grudge started, Sora hugged his knees, and begged a savior, to come and save him from his certain death. He closed his eyes tightly, and hid his head inside of the blanket. He also covered his ears, to make sure he wouldn't hear anything he didn't want to hear.

Riku snorted, and pulled the blanket away from Sora, and pulled him into his lap. The smaller boy let out a shocked yelp, as Riku wrapped his arms around his waist. But soon he relaxed and leaned his head to Riku's shoulder. Still, he didn't dare to look to the TV screen, not until the movie was over.

"Sooraa… look into the screen… We had a deal, remember? There's nothing scary going on now" Riku pleaded suddenly, and gently moved Sora's head from his shoulder, so he could see the TV. Sora moaned, but opened his eyes anyways. Riku was right. There was only some girl, who was picking up thrash from the floor. Sora let go off Riku, and sat properly next to him.

Just when Sora had thought nothing scary would happen, a terrifying pale phantom girl popped out of nowhere, scaring poor Sora badly. The brunette immediately launched himself back onto Riku, who chuckled to a stupid looking ghost, or whatever it was. Sora on the other hand, didn't found it too funny.

"Man, Sora- it's just a movie!" laughed Riku, who messed Sora's already messy brown hair.

"Yeah, I know! But it's a damn scary one too!"

Next ten minutes, all Sora did was pout, and try to make Riku notice his miserable condition. But Riku was too absorbed into the movie, or he had just decided to ignore the cute pout on the brunette's face.

"Riiiikuuu… Do we have to-…"

"Yes, you promised."

"B-but…" Sora didn't know how to continue. Arguing with Riku wasn't a very good plan, because Sora never won. So, he just tightened his grip around Riku's neck, and avoided looking to the TV screen. "I hate this movie… really Riku… Please, let's watch this some other time… it's 2 a.m. already!"

"No, I promised that I'll hold you, if we watched this movie." Snorting, Riku tried to move to a more comfortable position, while Sora was still embracing him roughly.

"Excuse me, but if you didn't notice, I'M holding YOU, not YOU holding ME." Sora narrowed his blue eyes. Riku smirked, but secretly his smile changed into a suspicious grin. Before Sora could say anything else, he found himself, once again, tackled down on the couch. Riku snaked his arms around the smaller form, "I knew it… You just want me to hold you cloooseee… Hohoho, you're such a pervert Sora!"

A blush covered Sora's face, "W-What! NO! YOU'RE THE PERVERTED ONE HERE!" he mumbled and punched Riku's chest, who continued to laugh madly.

But they, however, spent the rest of The Grudge holding each other. Sora, who usually thought all the horror movies were too horrible to watch, found everything much safer in the muscular arms. In fact, The Grudge was kind of funny movie (2).

When the movie ended, Sora was slightly disappointed, as Riku pulled away from the hug. Everything became so cold around Sora, when he couldn't feel the other's warmth on his skin anymore. He caught himself daydreaming, and kicked his own feet. Riku gave a strange look to Sora, and chuckled.

"You hungry?" he asked, and yawned, stretching his arms.

"Not really. Just tired…" yawned also the smaller boy, copying Riku's moves. They both stood up, Riku went to shut the DVD-player and the TV.

Riku lived in a small apartment in a block of flats, near the centre of Tokyo. Because of that, there always were pretty much noise and smell of gas filled the air. Still, Riku could call himself lucky because he even found a house so close the centre. Anyways, the apartment included only two rooms (one bedroom and living room), average kitchen and bathroom. Even if Riku's house was small, Sora still found it very cozy.

Riku yawned, and walked past Sora into his bedroom. The brunette grabbed his bag, and went to change his clothes and brush his teeth to bathroom, while Riku was pulling out a mattress under his bed. He checked his watch. It was already 3:45 a.m. but tomorrow was Saturday, which meant Sora didn't have school, and he didn't have to go to work.

Sora looked the mirror, and laughed bitterly to his reflection. Shaking his head, he took of his shirt. He checked the cuts that covered his left arm. They were just old scars in fact. He had stopped cutting himself long time ago, but deep scars never faded. When his father had died, he was so depressed that he found stupid satisfaction from peeling his own skin. He never wanted to do something as drugs or alcohol, because, even if he wanted to hurt himself, it didn't mean he really wanted to die.

No one ever noticed his self-destructive activity, until he was caught red handed by Riku…

(Flashback)

"Soraa! Are you in there?" Riku knocked to Sora's door. When there was no reply, he opened the door.

But what he saw wasn't anything pleasant. Sora sat in the middle of his messy room. The silver-haired fourteen years old Riku, could only see his back. There was blood on the floor and Sora was sitting in the red liquid, which poured down from his wrist. He didn't even notice Riku, as he entered his room. Sora was too deep in the sick pleasure that cutting off his skin caused to him.

"SORA!" Riku shouted, as he quickly ran to Sora, who seemed to snap out of his trance. The brunette's eyes widened, and he hid the bloody knife behind his back. He looked down, only to see crimson blood cover the wooden floor.

"I… I fell…" Sora mumbled a pitiful apologize. Riku didn't buy such an excuse, but he pulled his friend to a gentle embrace. Tears made their way to Sora's eyes, and immediately they started to flow down, as his cheek touched Riku's chest. What he had been thinking? And why he hadn't heard Riku entering his room?

"Sora, y-you idiot! Why did you do that? Give me that damn knife!" Riku pulled away, and snatched the knife from Sora's hand. He narrowed his eyes to his crying friend, feeling his heart broke into a million pieces. Never before he had seen Sora in such a fragile state. "I asked WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

"I… don't know…" sobbed the other boy, who tried to rub his eyes, but a pain in his left hand stopped his movement. Riku grumbled and tore a piece of his navy-blue T-shirt, to cover Sora's bleeding arm.

"It's because of what happened to your father, right?"

"… Please don't tell my mom… she's already too troubled with all of this stuff…" Sora pleaded quietly, and with his right hand he reached out to touch Riku's palm. "Sora… I have to…"

"Please don't… she…" but before Sora could finish his sentence, he collapsed in Riku's arms. Tears were still making his cheeks wet, and Riku softly wiped them away. He carried the other one to his bed, and stroked his cheek, like a mother would do. He sighed in defeat, as he watched Sora's calm breathing, still trying to deal with the things he just saw. He never could've imagined that Sora could even do something like that to himself.

He turned around. He had to clean up the place, before Sora's mother would come home and found his son's bedroom all bloody.

(End of Flashback)

Sora gritted his teeth and pulled his pajamas on. He still stared his arms, remembering the pain that made him feel so good. The thought disgusted him and he made a face. "Sora, are you ready or are you planning on sleeping there!" Riku knocked to the door.

"Oh… J-just a sec!" Sora replied dumbly, as shook his head, driving away memories that haunted him. He grabbed his toothbrush and clothes, and opened the door. Riku stood there, folding his arms. "What took so long?"

"Nothing." Sora shrugged and walked past the older one, to the bedroom. Riku followed him growling.

Riku's eyes snapped open as he heard Sora mumble something. The brunette had a bad habit talking while sleeping. Riku sighed, and watched the boy who mumbled something fuzzy and rolled around. But suddenly peaceful muttering changed to painful groans and helpless cries.

"No… don't please! D… don't… go…" Sora cried and hugged his pillow. Riku was about to go and wake the boy up from his nightmare, but soon Sora relaxed again and snored calmly. What was that all about? Riku scratched his head and glanced the clock. It was already 9 p.m.

He lied back down on his bed, ready to fall asleep again, but soon his mobile rang. Moaning he stood up, and picked up his the phone. He quickly, but quietly, made his way out of his room, and closing the door behind him. The annoying ringing continued, until he answered to his black mobile phone.

"Riku."

"Hi Riku. It's me, Sephiroth."

Riku's eyes widened and leaned his back to a wall next to his bedroom's door. "Sephiroth? Did you listen the CD I sent to you?"

"I did." A silence. Riku crossed his fingers and held the phone tighter, "I think you got a talent. I really liked your voice, and would be happy to hear even more. So, how about a meeting in an hour?"

"At your record company?"

"No, I don't want to go there… If I go, I have to do that boring paper work, I do all day." Sephiroth's little bit tired voice said, and Riku chuckled.

Sephiroth was a boss of Tokyo's biggest record company- SA Records. Also, he was Riku's cousin, even though they looked more like siblings. Both had silver hair, Sephiroth's was only longer and their eyes had nearly the same color. Riku was like a younger form of Sephiroth. Plus, they acted like brothers, always teasing each other in a brotherly way and looked after each other.

"Okay, well, see you at the… café near my place?"

"As lazy as ever I see…"

"Whoa, wait! Are you calling ME lazy, sporty?"

"Oi, are you insulting me? I'm having second thoughts about the meeting then…" Sephiroth mocked. It was his favorite hobby. Even if Sephiroth was nice and all, he loved to order peoples around, and control everyone's lives.

"Hah, hah, VERY funny Seph."

"Whatever. We'll see in an hour?"

"Yeah. Bye." Riku shut his phone and sighed. He had waited this opportunity for so long. Then he remembered the sleeping Sora still in his room. Smiling, he opened the door, and saw the brunette lying on the mattress, sucking his thumb. Riku's smile grew even wider. He found the sleeping boy very adorable… He shook his head, driving away naughty pictures of Sora groaning beneath him. Where did that thought had come from? Riku made a face, a little afraid of his own mind.

Sora mumbled something about butterflies and turned to his other side. Riku had to look away, so he wouldn't jump on the brunette right now. Sora was just too cute for his own good…

Riku picked up his clothes quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping beauty up. Cursing to himself, as he couldn't find his another glove, he exited his room once again. He dressed up, while making breakfast.

In ten minutes he was ready. Quickly he wrote a letter to Sora, so he wouldn't be too worried, when he'd wake up alone.

"Okay…" Riku inhaled a deep breath, "It's now or never…"

"Tiiiduuus!" A Brunette girl, with a yellow dress yelled. She smiled, while running towards a blonde boy, who had very pained look on his face.

"H-h-hi Selphie…" Selphie grinned and tackled Tidus to the ground.

"Tidus, Tidus! I know I've asked this thousands times before, but could you…"

"No, I'm not coming out with you!" Tidus cried, as he tried to push the hyper-mode brunette off him. They were middle of a street, gaining very angry looks from passer-byes. Selphie giggled and sat on Tidus' chest. She poked his nose and snickered even more.

"I wasn't going to ask that dummy!" She grinned and folded her arms, "I was just wondering if you could help me with my biology essay about some strange animal…"

"Yeah right. I know you wanted to go out with me." Tidus groaned, as he continued to fight for freedom. But the stubborn girl on top of him didn't give up so easily.

Tidus and Selphie had been friends since they were born. They always played together, shared everything they had and protected each other. Selphie, however, had started to feel something more towards her friend than just friendly feelings. She knew her feelings would never be answered, but she didn't care. As long as she could be with Tidus, even only as a friend, she was happy.

"Well, could you help me Tidus, pleeeeaaaseee!" She whined, "I'll pay for you, if you do it!"

"No way! I'm not your homework slave! Get off me!" Tidus cried and finally Selphie stood up snorting. She helped her blonde friend up and smiled sweetly. Tidus was so cute when he was pissed off. Selphie giggled. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing!" Selphie bit her lip, trying to avoid laughing out loud. Tidus rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything. Peoples who walked past them snickered, thinking they had some kind of love drama.

"Tidus, please! You have to help me! I don't know anything about kangas."

"You mean kangaroos right?" Smirking, Tidus found an opportunity to mock Selphie. "You suck at biology, you know that? Oh, and remember the day you thought mammals are…"

"Oh, shut up Tiddy. You know I love you too…" Selphie poked Tidus' ribs. She giggled, as he saw Tidus starting to get really pissed. When the color in his face slowly turned to red, Selphie knew it was time to run. Tidus readied his fits to slam Selphie, but she started to run, screaming and then laughing madly.

"Oh, don't you try to run from me SELPHIE!" Tidus yelled, as he ran after the brunette, who ran to protect her poor life, "I'm too young to die!" she fake-cried, but continued to run.

"Selphie, you- augh!" Tidus turned around a corner, only to crash on someone. He hissed in pain, as he fell down on his butt, holding his head. He looked up and mumbled apologies to an orange-haired man.

"Relax man! Are ya alright?" The man bent down beside Tidus, and looked straight into his blue eyes. Tidus gulped, and clumsily get up, wiping off dirt from his clothes. "I-I'm okay… Sorry…"

"It's okay." The orange-haired man waved his hand, before leaving dumbfounded Tidus in the middle of the pavement. He looked after the mysterious redhead, smiling dreamily. When he realized what he was doing, he slapped himself and turned around, and saw giggling Selphie sitting in a tree. He groaned, knowing exactly what she was thinking. Even if she looked innocent, her mind was dirty and twisted.

"Don't say anything."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

CC: Whoa, what do you like? Did you prefer Sora's POV?… I have to say I like this more. I have freedom to tell more about the other characters. (1) Haha, imagine mini Ansem, aww…

Riku: Do you think readers are happy to read the same crap all over and over again?

CC: No I don't. Bah, this story has changed MUCH. I didn't mean to change it this much… But, I just had some new brilliant ideas!

Riku: Yeah, yeah. We know your 'brilliant ideas'.

CC: RIKU! Shut up! T.T Oh, about (2)The Grudge… I laughed the whole time I watched it! It was sooo funny (yet scary)! Okay, I didn't see how it ended but to the scene where Yoko… umm okay maybe I won't say anymore, because I don't want to spoil what happens to her. Bwah…

Sora: Something terrible, right?

CC: You betcha.