Respect Me Not

Warnings: There still are mistakes in grammar, I think. Also Shounen-ai, which means malexmale love. NOT FOR KAIRI FANS! (or Naminé) Also, there might be some drug using, self-destructive activities and maybe some character deaths…

Pairings: SoraxRiku, one-sided SoraxAxel, WakkaxTidus, CloudxLeon, AerithxCid and maybe some more…

Disclaimer: Still I don't own anything.

Beta-reader: SomedayEternity

Chapter #3, We All Have Secrets.

"SOOOORAAAA!" A yell echoed through a long corridor, and Sora spun his head around. He tried to find the source of the voice from the mass of students. Soon, he spotted a blonde boy, who tried to make his way to Sora. He used the famous elbow-tactic to shove peoples in order to get to the brunette man, and because of that, gained many snorts and angry glares.

Finally he managed to fight his way to the brunette, and smiled from ear to ear. Sora rolled his eyes, but smiled also, "What's up Tidus? Where did you leave Selphie?"

"She wanted to talk with Yuffie about something… But anyways!" Tidus smirked and continued, "I heard you have awesome parties next Saturday!"

"I have…?"

"Yeah, yeah! Dad told me!" Tidus chuckled, and Sora lifted his eyebrow. He had heard nothing about party. It must be one of his mother's crazy ideas once again… He sighed, smile never leaving his lips.

"Right… the parties…"

"I bet it's going to be great! Is Riku coming? Oh, speaking of which, you must've heard about his new band! Isn't it cool?" Continued the blonde, whose expression became more excited all the time. Sora nodded, trying to keep his smile, but his lips slowly didn't want to curve upwards anymore. Tidus, however, didn't notice this. "Really, this' sooo cool!"

"Yeah, you're right."

Even if Riku had apologized him, he still felt little bit angry. Yet he was happy, very happy for Riku.

The bell rang, and peoples started to move inside classes. Tidus dragged Sora's arm and yanked him towards their History class, again using his elbows to make way.

"Hi Sora!" A too sweet voice said behind brunette. He turned around, and pulled his hand from Tidus, who also stopped. "I heard you talking about parties…" A brunette girl walked slowly towards Sora.

"Back off Kairi. Sora didn't want to invite you." Tidus said, and stepped in front of Sora. Kairi narrowed her eyes to him and folded her arms. A blonde girl came behind her and whispered something into Kairi's ear.

"That's right Naminé…" She smirked evilly, "Tidus, I think Sora can speak by himself. He doesn't need his boyfriend around him all of the time."

"Why you little…" Tidus balled his fits, but Sora grabbed his arm, before he'd become violent. Kairi laughed, and Naminé giggled shyly. "Tidus… don't bother…"

Tidus snorted, but turned around and walked past Sora. The brunette boy gave last glance to Kairi, who just started laugh even more when he started to run after his friend. He could hear sneering yells behind his back, but he ignored them.

Finally he caught up with the blonde, who was in front of their class. "I'm sorry Tidus…" Sora apologized, but Tidus just shrugged, "It's not like it's your fault."

"It was." Sora bowed his head as he walked to the back of the classroom. "But anyways… I hope Riku isn't too busy with his band, so he can come…" He sighed and sat down. Tidus nodded and sat by a desk in front of him.

"I think he comes, even if he didn't have any time. Since it's your birthday we're talking about after all." Tidus chuckled and turned around, so he could face his friend.

"You think so?"

"Definitely."

Cloud groaned as he checked his watch. Riku was late. They were supposed to meet at the park, where Cloud was already waiting impatiently. He sat down on a bench and rubbed his temples. He felt headache coming, and groaned once again.

Autumn leaves rolled on the ground, and played with the wind. Cloud rolled his eyes and leaned his back on the bench. He hated autumns; everything was cold and wet. And he hated coldness and wetness. That's why summer was his favorite season. It was sunny and warm.

"Yo, Cloud! Sorry I'm late!"

Cloud turned his head lazily, and smiled to Riku, who ran towards him. "Yeah, I've just waited here for like… half an hour?" he chuckled.

"I said I'm sorry…" Riku snorted, before he sat down next to Cloud. He panted slightly. "So, what's up? How's Sora?"

Cloud poked his tongue out, and grinned, "Always worried about Sora… He's doing fine, I guess. Little upset about your actions, but –hey- he's getting over it. You're such a jerk sometimes, did you know that?"

"Er… So you've heard." Riku smiled weakly, obviously feeling guilt for hurting Sora. Cloud sighed, and patted his shoulder.

"Don't worry Riku. It's not like that would've been your first time you messed up with his feelings."

"… Gee, thanks Cloud. That really made my day." Riku mocked and punched Cloud's arm. The blonde just laughed, while Riku sighed. Cloud was right, he had been hurting Sora before. It's strange how you hurt your loved ones the most. Even if you do your best to give them love and attention, you still end up hurting them.

Riku shook his head, to drive away the thoughts of Sora. He looked again to Cloud, who was busy to stare at the sky. "I… Why I always hurt Sora? All I want… is him to be happy… so how come he just hates me more and more…"

"He doesn't hate you." Cloud laughed. "He just… is a little bit angry. Nothing more."

Then they sat in a silence, watching the dead leaves fly around with the wind. Riku smiled a little, and bowed his head down. He remembered the times when he and Sora were younger, they used to run after the leaves and try to catch them. They always competed who got more of them, and of course Riku won every time.

"So, why you wanted to see me? I guess it wasn't only because of Sora, was it?" Cloud suddenly stated.

"No… In fact, I wasn't even planning to ask about him… Have you been thinking about my offer?" Riku fixed his gaze on Cloud.

"Oh, if I want to join your band? Of course I want! Even thought, I'm not the best at playing keyboards here…" said Cloud, whose eyes wandered around the park.

Riku lifted his eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"Umm… like, you know many peoples who're better playing keyboards than me."

"Well, maybe, but I want you to join. You're one of my best friends, Cloud." Riku chuckled. But Cloud, wasn't satisfied by his answer, and he frowned. The blonde stared angrily at Riku.

"What about Sora then?" Cloud said his tone serious yet little bit angry. Riku's eyes widened, and he blinked them few times. What about Sora? "Excuse me?"

"I mean, he's your best friend, for god's sake!" Cloud raised his voice, "…And yet you take his big brother into your band rather than him!"

Riku's confused expression changed slowly to amusing. "…Sora… I don't really think him as a friend anymore…" Cloud's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Riku continued, "No… he's something much more to me nowadays. We've become so close…"

Cloud frowned. "You mean, you…"

"I love Sora? Yeah, I guess you could say that." Riku laughed bitterly to the expression on Cloud's face. The blonde opened his mouth, and closed it, resembling a gold fish.

"I'm sorry. It must be kind of shocking to hear your little bro's best friend is madly in love with him…" Riku apologized, as he saw Cloud's face turning to even funnier expression. "Sorry Cloud."

Cloud was silent for a moment, before shaking his head, "No, it's okay. I kind of… saw that one coming. But I never said anything, because I knew you'd think I'd be crazy. It's okay if you like my brother. As long you won't break his heart, everything's fine."

"Hah. I wouldn't dream of it."

"But still, you didn't answer my question… Why you didn't take Sora into your band?" Cloud narrowed his blue eyes again.

"That's the reason. I care about him too much, to drag him into this. You know, we're going to get much of publicity, and I'm not sure if Sora'd be able to bear it all. You know, after everything that had happened to him, I'm not sure if famousness would do any good to him." Riku explained, and looked down at the ground, where a lifeless leaf lied.

Cloud's eyes widened, as he heard Riku's explanation. "Wow, Riku. You should be a psychologist… But, yes, I guess you're right. Sorry Riku. I wasn't thinking."

Riku laughed and stood up. "Yeah, well, I'm good to understand other people, I think."

Cloud laughed mockingly, as he got up also. "Hah, whatever. Okay, I'm in. Let's do our best."

"Yeah. I only have to find one more member, to play second guitar. Wakka, my old friend, who just moved back here, is going to play drums… and Tifa is playing guitar and her sister Yuffie takes basso… All I need is another guitar player…" Riku said, looking hopefully towards Cloud. The blonde scratched back of his head, resembling Sora.

"Umm, I don't think I know anyone who could play guitar, but if I find someone, I'll inform you right away, okay?" Cloud replied, and the other one nodded. They started to walk towards the exit of the park, chatting all the way there.

"Okay, see you tomorrow, we'll practice then, okay?" Riku said, and started to walk away. Suddenly he stopped, and looked over his shoulder, back at Cloud, "Oh, and please don't tell Sora I love him." Cloud watched his retreating back, smiling faintly.

Then he remembered something, "Oi, Riku! Wait!"

"What is it?" He turned around, already more than ten meters away from the blonde man. "Don't forget Sora's birthday this Saturday! Big parties!"

"Don't worry, I'll be there! Someone has to look after Sora, since I doubt you'd be able to do it after few beers!" Riku laughed and left. Cloud rolled his eyes and smirked.

You're a strange guy Riku… You really are. He chuckled, and started to walk towards an opposite direction than Riku. He was too deep in his thoughts, so he didn't notice he was followed…

Sora rubbed his temples, as he listened his history teacher Vexen's explanation about why the American civil war had started. The brunette found history very boring. He gave angry glances towards the clock- the time flowed so slowly when he wanted it to hurry up.

There was no one else in the room, who would have listened Vexen's boring voice. All did everything but listened him, like reading, whispering to their friends or sleeping (like Tidus did). But Vexen was used to this, and didn't bother. He thought, that it was the student's own fault if they wouldn't pass history.

Sora rolled his eyes, and pulled out a sketchpad from his bag. He took a blank page, and leaned his head on his palms. He wanted to draw something, but he didn't have any kind of inspiration right now. Maybe he could draw Vexen, with some funny outfit? He chuckled, but decided against it. Instead, he scanned the classroom, looking for something interesting to draw. He slowly let his eyes wander, and watched everyone in the room. Suddenly his eyes locked with sea green-colored ones.

Sora blinked dumbly, before quickly looking down. The one who had been staring at him was Axel. He was a weirdo redheaded guy, who looked five years older than any of his classmates. It was only thing Sora knew about him really. He never had bothered to try befriending with him. He was just another creepy guy to Sora.

The brunette looked down at his sketchpad, didn't dare to raise his head. He was afraid that those mysterious eyes would stare him again. Sora gulped, as he took his pen, and for the first time in his life took notes out of Vexen's speech.

"Wow, you're actually listening during history class…" Tidus mumbled, half-asleep. Sora snorted, but didn't answer.

Soon the bell rang, and happy students yelled 'Yay's and quickly ran out of the classroom. Vexen folded his arms above his chest, and shut his mouth to a very thin line. It was his usual after-the-lesson expression.

Sora made sure Axel had exited the class, before he left. But before he could step outside the class, to the corridor, Vexen's rough voice stopped him; "Sora, I'd like to talk with you." Sora gulped, but stopped and turned around.

"Umm… What is it sir?"

Vexen gestured Sora to come back inside and sit down on a chair. The brunette slowly walked back inside, and sat down. Vexen eyed the boy, before walking to the window, and lazily gazing outside to the schoolyard. "I'm surprised you were listening today."

"Uhh… What?" Sora scratched back of his head, and laughed nervously.

"I think you were the first person ever did." The hint of sadness lingered in his voice, which caused Sora shiver slightly, "… I really appreciated that. You maybe don't understand how much it meant to me, when you took those notes…"

Sora frowned, starting to wonder if his teacher had gone crazy. "Riight… Can I go now sir? I'd really like to go and eat my lunch…"

"Sure, you can go." Vexen turned his head from the window, and smiled to Sora. The azure-eyed boy hadn't never before seen his teacher smile. He returned the smile, as he stood up, and hurried out of the door. He dashed down the corridor, heading towards the cafeteria, where he was supposed to meet with Tidus.

Suddenly a strong arm caught him from his waist and he was thrown harshly against the wall. He let out a shriek of pain as his back hit the hard brick-wall. "Don't run so fast, or you'll crash on someone…"

Sora looked up, and saw a flaming red hair, and disturbing sea green eyes- Axel. He groaned and rubbed back of his neck. "Why did you do that for?" he whined, as he tried to walk past the man, but soon he was pinned against the wall.

"Because I wanted to." Axel stated simply, as he placed his hands both sides of Sora's head. The brunette yelped and backed against the hard wall. "What-, are you afraid Sora?"

Sora shook his head and narrowed his eyes, trying to gather his courage. "W-what do y-yo-you want A-Axel?"

"What I want, you ask? Haven't you noticed how I look at you, how I try to make you to notice me?" Axel smirked as he leaned little bit down. Sora blinked innocently and shook his head. But the redhead just seemed to enjoy the situation.

"Oh, your innocence is so beautiful, Sora." Axel said, and moved a lock of brown hair away from Sora's eyes.

"Axel, I really have no idea what you're talking about, but I'd like to go eat my lunch, so could you move yourself?"

Axel laughed and stated simply, "No."

"…And why not?" Sora rolled his eyes, as he tried to shove the annoying redhead away, but in vain. The taller man didn't even budge.

"Aww, you're so cute Sora." Said Axel, who started to lean down even more, closing the distance between him and Sora. The brunette just blinked, didn't really understand the situation at all. He tried to push Axel away again, but again it didn't work.

"Ahem…"

Axel quickly pulled away, and looked over his shoulder. Sora peered behind the redhead, and saw Tidus, hands folded and frowning. Axel humph-ed and quickly started to leave. Tidus glared him angrily, as he retreated behind a corner.

When Axel had disappeared, Tidus eyed Sora, his eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… I am…" Sora nodded, starting to grow even more confused. Tidus sighed, noticing how his innocent friend tried to understand what had just happened. The blonde put his arm around the other's shoulder, and started to lead him towards the cafeteria.

"Don't worry about it Sora."

"Yeah, I wont…" Sora replied quickly, as he and Tidus walked into the hall, where already rest of the school's students were already eating and chatting. Tidus looked at Sora, who frowned, thinking hard about something. He chuckled and shook his head. Sora was lucky he had a friend like him… Lord knows how many peoples would have tried to raped him, if Tidus wasn't be there to save him.

"I'm lucky I have friends like you…" Sora whispered, like he would have read Tidus' thoughts. The blonde one nodded and smiled.

And I'm happy to have friends like you.

Aerith sat down a chair in a little restaurant near the centre of Tokyo. A blonde woman accompanied her, and also sat down by the table. She searched through her bag, and pulled out a blood red notebook.

Aerith sighed, and put her hand on the table. "I guess you know why I wanted to speak with you Larxene."

Larxene eyed the brunette woman, and nodded slowly. She flipped through the pages of her notebook and finally found what she was looking for. "Is it about Sora again? Does he have problems with eating again?"

"It's not just that…" Aerith said weakly, "He doesn't even notice he isn't eating properly. And lately, he has been having nightmares…"

"What kind of… nightmares?" Larxene frowned and leaned her head on her palm.

Aerith took a deep breath and replied, "I don't know. I've just heard him groaning and crying while sleeping… But every time I ask him did he have nightmares, he answers no."

A waitress came and interrupted two women's conversation. The girl smiled, clearly didn't realize she had just came in the middle of an important chat. "Would you like something to eat?"

"Just… coffee…" Aerith said. Larxene smiled and shook her head to the waitress, who walked away. The blonde woman fixed her eyes back at the brunette, who looked beyond miserable.

"Look, Aerith. I think you're overreacting. It's natural to have nightmares."

"But what about the eating problems!"

"Well, I'd lie if I'd say they aren't natural… How long has it been?"

"Three days…" Aerith replied weakly, bowing her head. Larxene nodded and started to read something from her notebook. She rubbed her temples, glancing the woman who looked so pale and weak.

Finally she sighed and straightened his back. She tried to find words that would comfort her friend. "… I think you should keep an eye on him. If it wouldn't be Sora, I'd say his eating problems would be because of depression… But Sora's so happy and cheerful, so I think the depression is not an option… Yet then again… Ah, never mind, just keep an eye on him."

Aerith nodded. The waitress came and placed a cup of coffee in front of the brunette woman, and handed over a bill. Aerith took out her purse and paid her coffee.

"Aerith, you look horrible…" Larxene concerned. "…What about a shopping tour? It'd help to get your mind away from all of the problems."

"Thank you Larxene, I think that'd be nice…" Aerith smiled faintly as she sipped her coffee. The other one smiled and put her notebook back into her handbag. She waited Aerith to finish her coffee, and stood up.

"Here we go!" Larxene smiled widely as she dragged Aerith after her, out of the restaurant. The brunette woman sighed quietly, but managed to curve her lips upwards. They walked out, into a noisy street, in the middle of busy people.

Larxene grinned, "Ah, Tokyo… as peaceful as always I see…" She stated sarcastically. Aerith chuckled lightly, and started to walk towards the centre, where the biggest malls were…

A brown-haired man walked down the street, his hair waving with the wind. He had been following the spiky blonde haired man for a while now, from the central park to a library. The other man walked inside the building, and the other man snorted, moving a lock of his brown hair away from his eyes.

Cloud looked around, and saw the library empty, except for an old lady, who Cloud expected to be a librarian. He smiled to her, and walked towards tall bookshelves. Searching the right book with his eyes, Cloud pulled out a piece of paper from his pockets.

"Hmm… Artemis Fowl… Strange books mom's reading…" he mumbled to himself as he raised his hand to take a book from the self. But even if he stretched as far as he could, he only managed to touch the surface of the book with his fingertips. "Crap…"

"Can't reach it, shorty?" a masculine voice behind him asked, hint of sarcasm ringing in his voice. Cloud turned around and saw a tall brunette dressed up in leather pants and jacket. He narrowed his blue eyes and muttered something that sounded like 'Get lost idiot', but the brunette just laughed and grabbed the book from the self and handed it to Cloud.

"T-thanks…" Cloud mumbled, as he watched the brunette man walk away. He raised his eyebrow, and before he could stop himself he said, "…Well, aren't we rude… First calling me names, then leave…"

The man stopped, but didn't turn around. "The name is Leon. Nice to meet you… Cloud."

Cloud's eyes widened, and he stared Leon walking away. How the hell did that weirdo know his name? His grip at the book loosened, but not enough to drop it. For few more minutes, he just stood there, before he shrugged and continued to search rest of the books he had to borrow.

Maybe it was good guess? Cloud laughed to himself… Very good indeed…

Singing happily, Sora walked down a street, towards his home. He smiled and waved to all his neighbors as he passed them by. Everyone greeted back, and continued whatever they were doing. Sora wasn't really happy, but he wanted to look cheerful out, so no one would have to worry about him.

Sun shone beautifully, yet the rays of light weren't warm. Mostly they were only light, that wanted to shine into peoples eyes and make them blind. The air wasn't warm either. It was cool, and autumn wind blew gently from north, carrying yellow and brown leaves along.

Sora pushed a key to a lock of his home's front door, and it clicked open. He walked inside and slammed the door shut behind his back. "Anyone home!" He shouted, but gained no reply. Well, clock was only 2 p.m so it was no wonder.

He kicked of his shoes and threw a black bag to a corner. He scratched his head, as he walked to the kitchen and straight to the fridge. But after opening it, and examining it for a while, he found out that there was nothing he'd like to eat. And he wasn't even hungry anyways. He closed the door of the fridge and spotted a note in it.

Hi Sora!

Larxene and I went to shopping… Eat something, even if you're not hungry!

-Mom

Sora rolled his eyes. "I'm not a baby anymore, mom…"

The door opened and Sora lifted his gaze from the note and saw Cloud to come inside. The spiky haired blonde put two books on a table, oblivious about Sora's presence.

"Hi Cloud." Sora said, and caused his brother to jump in shock. Cloud placed his hand to his chest and gasped for air.

"Shit, Sora! Don't startle me like that!"

"I'm not. I just said 'hi'. Blame yourself for being zoned out." Sora pouted and folded his arms. Cloud regained his composure and smiled. "Heh, angry about something? Riku's still pissing you off? Yeesh?"

"No, go away Cloud, you're annoying." Sora sighed.

"I take that as a yes…"

"Cloud, pleaaasee… I just had bad day at the school, happy now?"

"What happened?"

Sora opened his mouth to tell about the encounter with Axel, but decided against it. His brother would just probably go nuts, and murder Axel with a very painful way. He chuckled, and Cloud looked him oddly. The brunette shook his head, "No, nothing important… just… stuff…"

"Right… whatever. Did you eat already?" Cloud said, as he walked to fridge and opened it. He took some food out, and went kicked the door closed. Sora watched as he started to slice tomatoes and carrots.

"No, and I'm not hungry." The brunette said and sat down by the table. Cloud glanced him worriedly, nearly cutting his finger. He cursed as he gained a little scratch, which didn't bleed but hurt like hell. "Sorry Cloud…"

"No, it wasn't your fault…" Cloud sighed as he continued to cut up some watermelon. "But you know… mom's pretty worried about you… you know… people never fully heal from anorexia…"

"Hey, I'm eating okay! That anorexia is past! And why in the world I'd have it repeating now? There's nothing wrong with my life, unlike there was when dad died!" Sora inhaled a deep breath. "… I had it because of depression, remember?"

"Yeah…" Cloud said absently, frowning. "…You were so young… You shouldn't have seen it."

Sora let out a heavy sigh. Cloud shut his mouth, deciding that he had already said enough. There was an awkward silence, but either one of them dared to break it. But finally Sora said, "Why do the good people always die first?"

CC: Hmm…

Sora: What are you thinking?

CC: Nothing much. Thank you losthimagain for reviewing! Heh, well I don't know how boys really react to shounen-ai, but in Sora's case it sounded like something that could happen… Poor innocent Sora… But thanks for reviewing!

Sora: My innocence is ruined T.T

CC: Teehee, anyways, please review:)