(A/N: This story is rated T (for teen, not troll) for language, and mention of abuse. This is my first HP fanfic, although I am an obsessive over the books. Enjoy! Thanks go to A.N.L. for being my BETA!)
(OH Yeah, Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, places, etc. They all belong to J. K. Rowling, except for the poetry, which I wrote, and the quotes from Romeo and Juliet, which belong to whomever gets royalties for Shakespeare's works.)
Hermione Granger walked slowly along the Hogwarts Express on Platform 9 ¾. She walked, hair framing her face, aware of the odd looks and whispers following her. She boarded the train, lugging her trunk behind her. Her entire outfit was black, long black skirt that met shiny black high-heeled boots at her ankles, and a baggy long-sleeved shirt, which she wore, sleeves down, despite the 90(F) weather. Her hair, which had been brown and bushy the last year, was now black and rigidly straight. Hermione dragged her trunk into an empty compartment at the back of the train, where she collapsed against the seat with a sigh. She leaned her head back against the seat's worn leather cover, warmed by the afternoon sun, as waves of exhaustion hit her. She had not slept much the past night.
Hermione pulled a pen and a spiral notebook out of her black purse, which lay on the seat beside her. She sat thinking for a minute, tapping the pen on the spiral's cover, before opening it and beginning to write.
/Her hair a dark curtain over her eyes
Hiding the pain that therein lies
Hidden in shadows, night is her cloak
Remembering sadly the day her life broke
Watching innocence be stolen away
Night after night, day after day
There was once a day when she was mama's girl
And her hair was soft, brown with curls
But that day was quite long ago
Now mama's grave's covered with snow
That was the day she truly let go of this world
Dyed her hair black, let it grow long,
To help hide the bruises her daddy unfurled
A result of the alcohol, of which he was fond
Her friends will wonder how much she's changed
But she knows secrecy's the name of the game
They could never understand her internal pain
And it would take too much effort to explain
She lets herself drift away from the world
No one to care about this broken girl
And she falls
Hard and fast, she doesn't even scream
Fallen Angel, or so it seems. /
Hermione put down the pen and wiped tears from her eyes. Her mother's death had been sudden, a car accident. Her father had somehow neglected to tell her of her death, and she hadn't found out until she returned home for summer break 5 months later. She wasn't able to attend the funeral, and she didn't know where her grave was.
Hermione had gone, in less than a year, from having two loving, supportive parents to having no mother while her dad turned to alcohol for support. Some of the time her dad was all right, a bit quiet, but that was only until he was drunk. When he was drunk, he would hit and beat her, taking all his pain and frustration out on her. She could never tell Harry and Ron that. She couldn't tell anyone that. She might have, if not for her little sister Anna.
Anna was 4, too young to fully understand what was happening, or where her mommy went. Hermione had put the strongest protection spells she could find on her so that her father would not be able to hit or otherwise harm Anna while Hermione was still alive. She had left Anna in their god-parents' care, but he knew where she was and could still kill her despite the many spells Hermione had placed on her. Hermione's father had sworn that Anna would meet an early grave if Hermione told anyone, and Hermione believed him. She wouldn't let anyone else suffer because of her.
Hermione closed the spiral notebook and tucked it back in her purse with her pen. Out of her purse she took a silver badge with the inscription HG for Head Girl. She pinned it on the front of her shirt as the train pulled out of the station. Her head snapped up as the compartment door slid open. Harry and Ron stood there.
"Who are you…Hermione?" Ron stared at her in disbelief
"Yes I am, or at least I was the last time I checked." She looked down at herself, "Yes, I am."
"What the hell happened? You look so…different." Ron finished lamely, looking to Harry for support.
"Well I like different better, so learn to deal with it." Hermione snapped, "And don't start telling me how to live or dress because…." She stopped speaking as the compartment door slid open.
"I'm looking for Granger." Draco Malfoy's drawling voice filled the small compartment.
"Right here, Malfoy" She spat out his last name, "What the hell do you want?" Ron and Harry gasped at Hermione cursing, and even Draco looked slightly taken aback for a second.
"Heads' meeting. McGonagall wants to talk with us and then we're supposed to plan school events." Hermione glanced at the front of Draco's robes to see a silver badge that matched her own, except his had the inscription HB for Head Boy.
"Whatever." She turned to Harry and Ron. "See you later." She picked up her trunk, slinging her purse over one shoulder. "Lead the way."
"And as Head Boy and Girl, you two will share a common room separate from the other students, have independent dormitories, and share a bathroom." Hermione glanced up and rolled her eyes then went back to "taking notes" in her spiral.
/Her wings are ripped and tattered
Halo tilted to one side
Her dress greyed with dirt and mud splatters
As tears of blood run from her eyes
Her once-blue eyes have lost their shine
The wind no longer lifts her as sorrow holds her down
She's losing touch with who she is, she's forgotten how to fly
She lowers her wings sadly as her feet stay firm on solid ground
Who is she, this broken angel?
And where will she be missed?
Looking at her you could never tell
That her hair was once wind caressed
And there was a time when she had it all
And then she began to fall
And there's no one left to call
Not even the friendly brick wall
For she has lost her voice in crying
And lost her strength in trying/
"So I'll leave you two to planning." Professor McGonagall finished as she sailed out of the compartment.
"Plan what?" Hermione inquired curiously, looking up from her notebook as the door slid shut.
"Fun activities and dances for the students. Were you even paying attention?" Draco asked, glancing over at her notebook.
"No I wasn't," She snapped the notebook closed before he could read anything, "Is that a problem?"
"You're a lot different then you were last year. Is there any reason?"
"NO!" Hermione snapped, "Just mind your own business Malfoy, I'm going to sleep." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Draco stared at Hermione. She was very different from what she was last year. Last year she would have taken notes and nagged him about the list, not ask him what it was about. She was also wearing all black, which she never would have done last year. Her face looked far paler than he remembered, but that could be an effect of all the black. Her do-not-care attitude unnerved him, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the way it mirrored his own, carefully constructed, mask. And what was in that notebook that she didn't want him to see? He slowly reached for it.
"Don't touch it Malfoy." Hermione muttered groggily, half-conscious. She tucked it into her trunk and locked it. She lay down on the seat, sprawled across her side of the compartment. In a few minutes Draco could tell by her quiet, even breathing that she was asleep. He went back to studying her. This time he noticed something that he couldn't see before because her hair had been in the way. Along her neck were several small bruises. Finger-sized bruises, to be exact.
"What the hell has happened to you, Granger?" Draco muttered, mostly to himself. He carefully, slowly and gently, moved her hair aside. Her hair, which had been bushy last year, was now soft and silky. As he moved her hair away from her neck and face, he could tell that the bruises went around her neck, and were definitely made by fingers. Who knew what other bruises she hid beneath her dark clothing? Draco rubbed at his shoulder beneath his robe, which concealed his own bruises. Who would have thought he would ever have so much in common with Hermione? He couldn't even feel his usual disdain for the girl lying on the seat in front of him. Her body, lying prone and unmoving on the seat made her look vulnerable, even heart wrenching.
Most of his hatred for her had originated from his assumption of her perfect life and his own father's prejudices against the Muggle-born. It was now obvious to him that her life wasn't as perfect as he had always thought, and Draco no longer cared what his father thought of him or of others. Besides, he was sharing a common room and bathroom with her; he might as well try to be civil.
Hermione awoke around an hour later, aching all over. Draco watched bemusedly as she woke and stretched, looking around slightly confused. Her gaze finally lit upon Draco and she frowned. Draco quickly decided to confront her before she decided to leave or go back to sleep.
"How long?" He asked quietly, grey eyes staring at her.
"What?" Hermione raised an eyebrow at him.
"How long have you been living with abuse?" He clarified for her, watching as her body stiffened at the word abuse
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Hermione stammered, nervously clenching her hands into fists. Her mind went into panic mode as her eyes darted from Draco, to the door, then back to Draco.
"Please. Why else would you have that on your neck?" He pointed to the bruises and Hermione's hands flew to them as she gasped. "And it explains the drastic change in you." Draco saw the wild look in Hermione's eyes, could read the fear in her rigid body. "It's okay," He lowered his voice to a soft, soothing tone that Hermione had never heard him use before, "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to." He took a book out of his trunk and calmly began to read. Hermione watched Draco, staring at him, as if he had grown another head.
"Why are you being so nice?" She finally demanded suspiciously. He looked up from his book at her with sadness in his eyes, though his face stayed the calm, uncaring mask that it always was.
"Because I can relate to you. Because I no longer want to impress my father with who my friends are, I no longer care what that bastard thinks." Draco rolled up the sleeve of his robe, showing multiple bruises littering his arm. Hermione gasped as his words sunk in.
"So all of your past coldness has just been a way to protect yourself?" Draco nodded as he slid his sleeve back down.
"I don't care what people think anymore. If people don't like who I really am, I don't care. I'm not going back home again, I'm going to find somewhere new to live." Hermione looked down.
"At least you can leave," She remarked bitterly, "If I leave, my sister dies."
"Your…sister?"
"Yeah, my little sister Anna…I don't even know why I'm telling you this…how do I know you are not going to go tell the whole school about my sucky life?" She asked, folding her arms and glaring at him suspiciously. Draco laughed dryly.
"If I was going to do that, would I have showed you this?" He tapped his arm. "And would I have told you all this?"
"You could be lying." Hermione pointed out. Draco opened his trunk and reached into it, pulling out a small dagger. Hermione drew back from him, shrinking against the compartment seat.
"I'm not going to attack you." Draco assured her, sitting down on the seat next to her. "Do you know what one of the strongest bonds in the world is?" Hermione glanced from the knife to Draco and her eyes widened.
"Blood? You want to make a blood oath?" She asked incredulously. Draco nodded, drawing the silver dagger from the sheath that held it.
"I'll swear not to tell anyone about you being abused and then you'll swear not to tell anyone about me being abused." He looked to Hermione, who nodded her approval. He held the knife to his right hand and sliced the blade across his palm. "I, Draco Malfoy, swear to never tell anyone about Hermione Granger being abused." He handed the dagger to Hermione, who followed his example, bringing the dagger to her own right hand and made a cut.
"I, Hermione Granger, swear to never tell anyone about Draco Malfoy being abused." She looked to Draco for instructions on what to do next. Draco held his hand out straight in front of him and extended it to Hermione, motioning for her to do the same. She brought her hand to his and they interlaced fingers, palms touching as their blood mingled. She felt a slight tingling in her fingers, and then a jolt of pure energy ran down her arm. She looked in surprise to Draco, who looked back at her with a wide-eyed look of confusion before both of them blacked out.
Draco sat up quickly, looking around him. His eyes took in his surroundings and he realized he was on the Hogwarts Express. What had happened? He saw his dagger lying on the floor, and saw Hermione lying next to him, their hands still entwined. Then he remembered the blood oath. But why had he blacked out? And what was that surge of power he had felt run up his arm? Hermione moaned next to him as she stirred, and he looked down at her as her eyes flickered open.
"What happened?" She brought her hand to her face, examining the small scar that was now on her palm. Draco shrugged.
"Honestly, I have no idea. Nothing like that should have happened. You should have just felt a small tingling and that would be all. I'm not sure what went wrong." He looked out the window at the scenery. "And we've obviously been out for quite a while now. We're already almost to Hogwarts." Hermione's eyes widened and she quickly rushed to her trunk, opening the lid and rummaging through it, pulling out a black wizard robe. "I can leave…."
"Don't be silly, I'm wearing a cami under this." She interrupted him as she pulled off her long-sleeve shirt. Under it she wore a black camisole and Draco finally saw her arms.
"Holy shit!" Draco muttered. Her arms were all bruised, bruises atop bruises, until her whole arm looked like one huge bruise. He could barely see any skin beneath it. Her shoulders were bruised and cut, and he could only imagine how her back looked.
"Like what you see?" Hermione asked sarcastically, pulling her robes on over her head.
"Who did this to you?" Draco demanded angrily. "This…this is so extreme. Even my father wouldn't dare go this far." Hermione sighed sadly.
"My father. Not that I blame him, he's always drunk, he doesn't know what he's doing, he doesn't really mean it." She slid her skirt off from beneath her robe and pinned her badge to the front of her robes.
"Then who do you blame?" Draco asked sarcastically, "If you don't blame the one who hits you?"
"Alcohol…God…myself." Hermione replied with a shrug, putting her clothes in her trunk and checking her hair in the compartment window. Draco glanced up from gathering his own stuff.
"How can you blame yourself for this? It's not your fault he hits you."
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't blame yourself." She shot back at him. Draco looked down and Hermione smiled sadly. "I suppose that everyone blames themselves, no matter how stupid they know that it is, you just can't help it." She latched her trunk shut as Hogwarts came into view through the window. "I really don't want to have to talk to Harry and Ron," She groaned, "They ask too many questions. My father said that he would kill my sister Anna if I told anyone. I took a huge risk in admitting it to you and I'm not about to tell anyone else and risk her life. Especially not Harry and Ron, they mean well but would tell an adult or do something rash like kidnap me." Draco nodded and rolled his eyes.
"Idiots." he remarked dryly. "Here, you might need this." He pulled a small bottle with a cork in it from his robe pocket. "Headache potion." He explained as he handed it to her.
"I wouldn't drink that if I were you," The compartment door slid open as Ron walked in, "He might have poisoned it." Hermione glared at him and rolled her eyes, removing the cork from the bottle's neck and drinking the potion.
"I'm not dead yet," She informed him, handing the bottle and cork back to Draco, "Thanks." She smiled sweetly as Ron fumed.
"Why are you even hanging out with that ferret? You're fraternizing with the enemy! You should have come back right after the meeting!" Ron's tone was angry, his voice filled with loathing. Hermione stiffened and stepped back, away from Ron in fear. Draco touched her hand reassuringly.
"Calm down Weasley. McGonagall said we had to stay here after the meeting and plan. I didn't harm her."
"You better not Malfoy, or me and Harry will have to come kick your ass."
"Harry and I," Hermione muttered, correcting his improper grammar. Ron glared at her. She clenched her hands behind her back, but met his glare with an even gaze.
"Fine. Harry and I. C'mon Hermione, let's go."
"No." Hermione snapped, sitting down on the seat.
"What did you say?" Ron yelled, his face becoming quite red.
"I said no, Ronald Weasley. What is it that you cannot understand about that?" She asked in a soft, even voice that seemed as dangerous as a yell.
"Have you gone bloody mad? Hanging out with… with HIM!" His voice was getting louder now, and his eyes showed nothing but anger.
"Maybe I have," Hermione returned coolly, looking at him calmly, "But if I have, who really gives a damn?"
"Ron, let's go." Harry stood behind Ron, his hand on his shoulder. He looked at Hermione for a second before nodding slightly at her.
"But…but." Ron sputtered angrily. Harry rolled his eyes and steered Ron away from the compartment and down the train.
"Well, shall we go?" Draco asked, extending his hand to Hermione. She took it and stood slowly on still-trembling knees.
"Sure, why not?" She grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder, wincing slightly. Hermione and Draco walked down the train, out into the warm summer night. Hermione walked amongst the Thestral-drawn carriages looking for an empty one. Although she couldn't see the Thestrals, she knew they were there, and that was enough to give her shivers. Hermione finally found an empty carriage and motioned to Draco, both of them climbing in. Hermione looked around at all the other carriages and the huddled group of first years preparing to cross the lake in small boats. She sighed. It was good to be back at Hogwarts, where she was safe. She sunk down into the cushioned seat and sighed again, grateful for the small comfort it offered. She looked up as there was a rustling sound and Ginny Weasley entered the carriage. She looked from Hermione to Draco with a questioning glance, then settled herself into the seat across from Hermione.
"Good job on getting Head Girl," Ginny said cheerfully, "But I thought they didn't assign them until 7th year." Hermione smiled slightly.
"They usually don't, but Dumbledore decided, with Voldemort back and all, that we need more authority figures and assigned both 6th and 7th year Heads."
"So then who's…" Ginny broke off as she glanced over at Draco and saw his badge. "Oh…" She stared at Draco for a minute. "Was this why my brother was going on about you consorting with the enemy?" Hermione and Draco nodded and Ginny laughed. "Don't worry about him, he really is a bit of an idiot." She and Hermione exchanged smiles as the carriage began to move. "So how did your summer go Hermione?" Hermione's smile turned to a frown as she looked down at the carriage floor.
"My mother died." She finally responded, blinking back tears.
"Oh, I'm sorry Hermione, I didn't know." Ginny put her hand on Hermione's shoulder to try and comfort her. Hermione winced as her hand touched a sore spot. An awkward silence fell over the carriage, as the three occupants sat, no one knowing what to say next.
"So…did you know that this year they are starting Sex Ed. Classes for 6 and 7th year students?" Draco finally asked, breaking the silence. Both girls jumped and stared at him. "My father works for the Ministry and he said Dumbledore himself came up with the idea." Hermione laughed.
"Can you imagine Snape or McGonagall teaching that class?" Ginny grinned at her as Draco laughed, trying to imagine his head of house teaching Sex Ed. Ginny turned her head and looked at him curiously.
"Why are you being so nice? Is there something wrong with you? You haven't even insulted anyone yet!" Draco looked at her, amusement in his eyes.
"Maybe I've rethought my values and position in life. Maybe I'm tired of living a lie as a snobby rich boy." Ginny looked at him incredulously then looked at Hermione, who merely nodded.
"Well then. I don't think that we were ever officially introduced. I am Virginia Weasley, but you can call me Ginny." She extended her hand to Draco.
"I'm Draco Malfoy. I am pleased to make your acquaintance." He shook her hand slowly as Hermione watched with a smile from her seat and the carriage slowed to a stop in front of Hogwarts Castle.
Draco stepped out of the carriage and turned to offer his hand to Ginny, who took it as she carefully stepped down from the carriage. She stood waiting patiently as Draco turned and helped Hermione down from the carriage. The trio turned and began to walk up the stairs to the castle. They had only gone a few steps before Ginny ran off to talk with one of the girls from her year. The whole group of Hogwarts students slowly trickled through the large castle doors into the entrance hall.
"Your mother died?" Draco glanced over at Hermione. "You didn't tell me that." Hermione ran a hand through her long black hair.
"Yeah. She died during last year, my father didn't tell me until I came home for summer break." She kept her voice low, not anxious to share her news with the bustling crowd.
"Your father's a bastard." Draco muttered back as they walked into the Great Hall.
"When he's drunk, yes." Hermione agreed as they passed through the doors and stood in front of the four house tables. "Well, I'll see you later." She turned and walked to the Gryffindor table as Draco turned and walked to his own table. Hermione chose a seat at the end of the table near the doors, all by herself, far away from the rest of her house and from the table where the Professors sat. She looked down the table and saw Ron and Harry at the far end, having an animated conversation with the other guys from their year. 'Probably about quidditch', she surmised from the way they were waving their arms. In the middle of the table Ginny sat with some of her year-mates. She looked back to the doors to the Great Hall as they opened and the first years filed in.
Draco Malfoy sat at the Slytherin table, watching the short first years enter the room. He could swear that the first years got smaller every year. His gaze flickered to Hermione Granger, who sat alone at the end of the Gryffindor table, looking bored. He watched her as she took out a book from her purse and began to read. 'Some things never change' he thought amusedly. He reached into a pocket of his robe and a small piece of parchment and began writing.
Hermione jumped, startled, as there was a small flash of light and a piece of parchment appeared in front of her on the table.
/Bored already? D/ She glanced across the room at a smirking Draco Malfoy, then pulled a pen out of her purse.
/Maybe…H/ She scribbled, then tapped the parchment with her wand and saw Draco look down, then back up at her, clearly amused.
/What are you reading/ He wrote back as the Sorting Hat ceased to sing and Professor McGonagall called out the first name on her list.
/Romeo and Juliet. It's by a Muggle, William Shakespeare; I don't expect you to have read it. / She wrote back, glancing up at the thinning number of first years standing.
/"Never was there a tale of more woe, then that of Juliet and her Romeo"…I think you assume too much. / Draco's reply came promptly as the last first year was sorted into Ravenclaw and Dumbledore rose to make a speech
/"Some shall be pardoned and some punished"…do pardon me/ She quoted back at him, then put her book and pen away to eat some of the delicious meal which had appeared upon the table.
Draco tucked the parchment into his pocket. She had been punished enough, he thought as he mused upon her reply. He realized that the students around him were eating, and he himself piled his plate with food.
"Draco darling, why aren't you sitting with me?" Draco turned around to see Pansy Parkinson standing behind him. She smiled at him and flung her arms around his neck.
"Get off me Pansy." He spat, pushing her back, away from him. She stared at him. "I don't like you and I never will, now will you please go away and leave me alone?" He turned back to his meal as Pansy flipped her hair angrily and stormed off. He made a face across the room at Hermione, who giggled at his disgusted expression.
"What's wrong with her?" Ron stared down the table at Hermione.
"Maybe she was just upset that you were yelling at her. You know how she gets." Harry suggested from between bites of chicken
"No, I mean even before that. She was short-tempered and snappy, and she cussed. And what did she do to her hair?"
"Maybe she was in a bad mood. Ginny said that her mother died this summer." Ron nodded.
"We should go sit by her, say we're sorry."
"You mean YOU'RE sorry," Harry pointed out with a smile, "I didn't do anything to her." They both walked to the other end of the table, sitting on either side of Hermione. She glanced up and stopped eating.
'HELP!' She screamed mentally and gave Draco a desperate look across the room. "Help!" She mouthed at him when their gazes met. He smiled and shrugged at her. She only glared back.
"So Hermione, I heard about your mother…" Hermione glared daggers at Ron and Ron was faintly aware that if looks could kill, he would be dead and buried by now.
"Don't you dare even talk to me Ronald Weasley." She hissed at him. "Because a certain red-haired boy, that I am unfortunate enough to be acquainted with, has recently informed me that I have gone quite bloody mad and in my current state of mind, I might just kill you before I realize what I am doing." She took a spoonful of pudding and put it in her mouth as Harry and Ron exchanged glances over her head.
"Not that it would be much of a loss." Hermione glanced up at Draco, who sat down across from her at the table. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he merely smiled in return.
"What…what is he doing here?" Ron sputtered, and even Harry looked surprised.
"Sitting. The same thing that you are doing." Hermione informed him pointedly as she smiled at Draco.
"He has a point. Why are you here Malfoy?" Harry spoke up from Hermione's left side.
"I am here because Miss Granger here has a great taste in literature and is enjoyable company." He looked at Ron. "Why are you here?"
"This is my table!" He returned indignantly. "And besides, 'Mione's my friend."
"It didn't appear that way when you were shouting at her on the train," Draco replied coldly, "Or is that what you consider friendship?" Ron opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short as Dumbledore stood to remind them that the Forbidden Forest, and to introduce their Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor, a Miss Nymphadora Tonks. Harry and Ron applauded loudly for her, and she beamed at them from beneath her bright blue hair.
"And I would like to remind you all that inter-house unity is the most important thing. Together we will win the war against Voldemort." Albus Dumbledore smiled down at his yawning students. "But now it is time for bed. Can I see the 6th year Head Boy and Girl please?" He waved his hands in dismissal and the students began to rise and scatter. Hermione and Draco quickly left Harry and Ron to go stand by Dumbledore, who smiled at them. "I see you are already good friends," He said, blue eyes twinkling, "Good. Please come with me, I will show you your new quarters." He led them out of the Great Hall, across the Entry Hall, and down a flight of stairs. Hermione smiled as they passed a familiar painting of a silver bowl of fruit. Dumbledore stopped at the portrait just to the right of the kitchen. "Unitas." He said to the painting of a scantily clad mermaid perched on a rock
"Yeah." She giggled, swinging open.
"Well, I will leave you two to exploring your new rooms" Dumbledore said with a smile as Hermione and Draco walked into their new common room and the painting swung shut behind them.
(That's all for now folks. Read and Review. Flames welcome, the better to roast marshmallows for s'mores with. Next time, their new quarters, and how to share a bathtub! Anne)