Rain Drenched Promises
PART FIVE
April 2006
Location- The Docks
"Tell me you want me to stay. Just say the words and I won't go." Sam said.
" You're the one who said you couldn't be happy with the life I gave you," Jason said. His words were flat, emotionless.
Inside he was already a million miles from this messy scene. He detached in the moment Sam announced, in the heat of an argument," All you give me anymore is pain! Bullets and bomb follow you everywhere you go. And I deal with that. Because I love you. But you won't give me anything to make me happy. I want a child. I want to be out on the water again, the captain of my own ship. I want to be your wife. When do I get anything I want out of this relationship?"
He gave her the one thing she asked for that he could offer. He bought her a boat named Lila Morgan to represent the one perfect dream they both shared. She could sail off to something or someone that could make her happy, or stay here and cry but for him they were done.
The one part of relationships he never got wrong was when it was over it was over. Clean, simple, no looking back on what could have been.
There was only one woman he ever wondered about what a life with her would have been like. And only then in the oddest moments, like when she held her child and he felt like that should be his son. Or when she wore a wedding gown. And then it was like a flash that popped into his mind. Not something he consciously wanted to picture, but it was there for a second until he pushed it away again.
He dropped Sam's bag at her feet. "Be happy, Sam." He meant those words and prayed she would be. But he knew he was incapable of giving her any more than he had.
He turned and walked away, the sound of her sobs echoing behind him.
(Just a time within a time
Just a scheme within a scheme
A little world within a world
Yes, a dream, just a dream
Now I finally found my way
Now I know just what to do
Once you said goodbye to me, yeah
Now I say goodbye to you) (Fleetwood Mac)
Location - Alcazar Mansion
"Where have you been?" Lorenzo asked as soon as Carly came through the door. "It's after midnight. Did you forget we had dinner plans?"
The table was set with a candles and a white table cloth.
"I got caught up at Caroline's. You should understand about work coming first." Carly breezed past him toward the stairs." Lord knows yours always comes before me."
" So we're having a tantrum again tonight?"
Carly spun around." You bastard!"
Lorenzo met her furious gaze with a measured coolness. " You could have called , at least. I had other things I could do with my time."
"Don't you always, Lorenzo?" Carly walked close to him. Put on her game face." You said you adored me, wanted to spend your life with me, give me the world? So why haven't you made love to me in a month?"
She kissed him then ,giving him and them one last chance. Lorenzo was the kind of man she should be able to be happy with. More stable then Sonny, never cheating on her or making her lose her grip on reality. Yet he moved in the same dangerous world that Carly knew so well. Where she felt the most at home. He should be her perfect match but as his lips left hers she knew he wasn't.
" What is it that makes you pull away from me when I am finally yours?" Carly asked him softly.
" I never had your whole heart. And we both know it," Lorenzo said. "I thought marrying you would make you see ... me, what we could be, that you could let go of your failed attempts at happiness in the past. But you still do everything to prove that you can live without Sonny. Your living for him more now than ever."
" You don't know me at all if you think that!"
"Maybe not. But something keeps you from being fully here when you are right here in the same room with me. I knew I could never be everything to you. Jason had that spot long before I met you."
"First you blame Sonny. And now Jason. Who is next? AJ? Tony? A waiter at Caroline's? Come on! This is about you not being happy with me. I am more than you bargained for, aren't I? You thought you were getting my undying gratitude because you took me from that hospital and gave me a home again. Well, if you didn't know before now, here is the lowdown on Carly Benson SPENCER. " Carly swung her arms around to illustrate her point
She went on, "I am a force to be reckoned with, crazy or sane. I am a woman who does not need a husband to belong in this world. When I love I love wildly and loyally and forever. So yes, as much as I hate to say it. and I do , I hate to say this. Sonny does still matter to me. He fathered Morgan, and I loved him even though he never really understood me or why I did. And Jason. Your right. he is everything to me. Because he knows everything in me and has never backed away from that. You wanted a better version of me. Just admit that much. And though I am trying to create one it is to please ME. Not you. "
Hurt shone from Lorenzo's eyes. Carly forced herself not to soften. Her new life would hold no compromises in love or anything else.
"How can you be my wife when I am so low on your list of priorities?"
In that moment, she finally saw the truth. " I can't be, Lorenzo."
(I fall down, I get up
And I've always had to fight
Everything that was wrong
For the things that were right...
Now I best be on my way
Before the night turns blue
Once you said goodbye to me, yeah
And now I say goodbye to you
Once you said goodbye to me, yeah
Now I say goodbye to you) Fleetwood Mac