Warnings: There still are mistakes in grammar, I think. Also Shounen-ai, which means malexmale love. NOT FOR KAIRI FANS! (or Naminé) Also, there might be some drug using, self-destructive activities and maybe some character deaths… Crossovers from Final Fantasy VII and VIII…
Pairings: SoraxRiku, one-sided SoraxAxel and RikuxKairi, WakkaxTidus, CloudxLeon, AerithxCid and maybe some more…
Disclaimer: Gaahh, I still don't own Kingdom Hearts or the songs I use here… :sobsob:
Reviews:
Irvine Kinneas is from Final Fantasy VIII, sorry I forgot to say that…
Chapter #17, Rain
"Hmm…" Rinoa said, while shutting off her flashlight and sighed, "…Well… there is really no big difference than last time you were here…"
Sora bowed his head and frowned, "…Do I ever get my sight back?"
"Of course, darling!" Rinoa chuckled, nervously… Yes, she had been sure about Sora's sight returning, but now… She couldn't be so sure anymore. It had already been more than week, and still Sora couldn't see a thing. Maybe he just needed time to recover, but…
The blind brunette stood up, sucking his bottom lip slightly, "…I just want to see Riku again…"
"Riku?" Rinoa repeated, "…Is he the one who gave you that necklace?"
"Huuuh?" Sora tilted his head to his side, and absently touched his neck. Yes, there was necklace, just like he had noticed a while ago… But… Did Riku really give it to him?
Rinoa stood up too, and grabbed Sora's necklace. She examined it for a while, before smiling widely. She stepped few steps backwards and giggled happily, "I knew it- Riku and Sora 4ever!"
Blush spread to Sora's cheekbones and snatched the necklace away from the dark-haired woman.
"Aww, c'mon Sora! That's just way too cute!" Rinoa pinched Sora's cheek.
"But, I…" Sora tried, but didn't know how to continue. When did Riku give him that necklace? And… Was it even Riku, who had given it to him anyways? But… "…But I've messed it all up… I'm so stupid… I… Why?"
"Why what?"
"I… Riku… He… He proposed me… And I… I told him no… I told him, that we should be just friends…" Sora said weakly, his head bowing downer and downer all of the time. He really had messed it all up… Why did he always notice how much he loved Riku when they were apart? …He just wanted to be there… with him.
"Hmph." Rinoa folded her arms above her chest, "To be honest, Sora, I think you're just trying to avoid finding a happiness."
Sora frowned and laughed bitterly, "…Avoid happiness? Now, that made absolutely no sense, you know."
Rinoa let out a frustrated sigh, before punching Sora's stomach lightly, "It makes perfectly sense. You don't want to be happy, because you believe that all happiness must come to an end. Okay, that maybe so, but do you think that things could go any worse than they're now? I mean honestly, can't you see how everything has fallen apart? Your brother, your mother, your friends… They're all suffering when you're suffering!"
"So… You're saying that I made them all suffer, huh?" Sora said miserably.
"No, that's not what I meant…"
"Whatever!" Sora spat and turned around, nearly stumbling to a chair, while trying to find an exit of the room, "I don't care! You can never understand how much this hurts me! You can't even get close to the pain I feel!"
"Sora, I…"¨
"SHUT UP! I don't wanna hear it! I know I make everyone suffer, and… I… it would be better if I'd just DIE! There's no meaning for me to be alive! I just… I just make it all worse… It's all my fault…" Sora screamed, and before Rinoa could even make gesture to stop him.
"…Sora… It's… This' not what I meant…" She said and balled her fists. She kicked the chair where Sora had been sitting on a while ago, "Dammit!"
Meanwhile Sora walked out of Rinoa's house, where he had been visiting few times now. Angelo barked happily, as the brunette came out, and immediately tried to tackle his owner on the ground.
"…Not now Angelo…" Sora said, and rubbed his temples. He took Angelo's leash, and waited for the Border collie to start guiding him, "…Let's just go home."
And so, the dog started to walk, guiding his blind owner towards home…
Riku stepped into a white hospital room, where Leon, Yuffie, Tifa, Wakka and Sephiroth were already. They all turned their heads lazily towards the enterer, before continuing to stare at Cloud, who was lying on a bed, his chest rising every now and then as he breathed slowly and peacefully. Thousands of hoses were stuck on his arms, and machines next to his bed kept beeping quietly.
"I…" Riku started, startling everyone and making them all turn their attention towards him, "…I tried to call to Sora and Aerith, but no one answered…"
Leon, who was sitting in his usual spot- corner, where he frowned, but kept his eyes locked at the floor. Tifa and Yuffie glanced each other's and shrugged weakly, while Wakka was gazing out of the window. Sephiroth eyed his cousin, before letting out a frustrated sigh and folding his arms. But no one said anything…
Riku tried again, "…I think we should go to check on them…"
But everyone remained quiet, just like they wouldn't hear the silver-haired man's words. Riku bit his lip, as his eyes ended up staring the blonde man… Cloud looked so lifeless… He looked much like Sora, when he had been here… lying on that same bed…
He felt a painful throb in his heart. What if something had happened to Sora, since no one answered to his call? And what would Aerith say, when she'd hear about Cloud? Poor woman, she has gone through so much… Watching aside your sons suffering… It was all so… Unfair.
"…Okay…" Riku broke the silence once again, "…I'll go to check on them… They need to know about Cloud…"
Everyone nodded faintly, but the silence stayed.
Riku shrugged sadly and walked out of the room. He could understand why some peoples hated hospitals… That smell of dead, which lingered in the air… It was everything but pleasant. Yeah, hospitals and the doctors were here to help people… but sometimes you can't avoid losing someone.
Large doors slid open and Riku stepped into the dark and cold evening. It was raining… Not too much though… Only few drops every now and then, but when Riku looked up, he could tell that soon rain would come pouring down.
"NO WAY!" Sora yelled as he searched through his pockets for his keys, but couldn't find them. He let out a frustrated cry/yell as he punched the door, "This' just my luck… Of course I had to forgot my keys home… Shitshitshit… And it's starting to rain too!"
Angelo tilted his head to his side a little, and gave odd looks towards his owner.
Something wet dropped to Sora's nose and he glanced towards the darkening sky. And before Sora could even say word 'rain', the water poured down heavily from those black clouds above his head. The brunette cursed colorfully and kicked the door.
"Waahh!" He cried, and banged his head to the solid door, "Whywhywhywhywhy!"
Why indeed…
"To be honest, Sora, I think you're just trying to avoid finding a happiness."
Rinoa could be right… But even if he could be happy for a moment, he'd eventually ruin everything… and end up hurting everyone around him. He made everyone suffer… Without him, everything would be much better. No one would have to cry, because what he had done, or what had happened to him… No one would need to worry about him.
But he knew that he hurt Riku the most. The one he loved, he kept hurting all of the time… He would never be able to make Riku happy. There's no way he could be happy with someone like him.
Sora shut his eyes tightly, trying not to let tears pass his eyelids. Everyone would be happy if he'd just die away… No one needed him. He was useless. He was piece of crap. He was a loser. He was nothing… He was nothing but a coward, who should have died a long ago…
…He should have died that night… But he still lived. He continued to live shamelessly, after his father sacrificed his life for him. No one really knew what had happened… He was the only one who in fact saw it all. Everything what the others knew were only rumors… But the truth is always something much worse.
His knees started to tremble slightly, as he fought war against his own mind. But even if he tried his hardest to control his emotions, he couldn't help the tears, which now rolled down his cheeks, mixing up with the rain.
…There were too many things that should have done differently. But you can't rewrite the past…
"It's not your fault Sora."
"It's not my fault, huh?" Sora said bitterly, as he buried his head to his palms, and slowly collapsed onto the ground, "…That's what they always say… But… It was my fault… Daddy would be alive if I wouldn't be there."
Angelo walked to Sora, and gently licked the back of the brunette's hands.
"I just want to… make everything better…" Sora sobbed weakly. Everything was so completely fallen apart… How could he make everything better?
"Excuse me?" Someone said behind Sora's back. The brunette jumped to his feet and turned around, forming a fake smile to his lips, as he quickly shoved away the tears, though, they were barely visible through the rain, "…I…I'm sorry to just c-come here like this…"
"Who are you?" Sora asked, frowning thoughtfully, when he couldn't recognize the voice. Sure, it sounded somewhat familiar…
"Ah, of course, I'm sorry…" A shy girlish voice said, "…I h-heard about your sight… everyone talk about it in the school… I-I'm Naminé."
"Naminé!" Sora's dull eyes widened, "What are YOU doing here?"
Naminé sighed heavily, before trying to look into Sora's eyes, which rolled around aimlessly, trying to find a target, where he could look at. It was a horrible sight… Just like everyone had been talking about in the school… The blonde young woman bit her lip, before trying to speak again, "…I… I came to say I'm sorry."
"About what?" Sora's voice was broken and he bowed his head. He didn't want to hear 'I'm sorry' anymore… He knew that no one who ever said that meant that.
"…About everything…"
…But Naminé's voice was so sincere… He really felt sorry for the poor girl… Having a friend like Kairi couldn't be easy…
"It's okay…" Sora replied, "…It's not really your fault, not even Kairi's. In fact… I think, I made this whole mess happen…"
"No, it's not-"
"Naminé… I know, I just…" Sora tried, but couldn't put his feelings to words. And he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell anything to Naminé either… It's not like crying his worries to someone he barely even knew would help the situation at all. He'd only make more people suffer…
"Sora." All of the uncertainty from Naminé's voice had faded away, "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Sora opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't think of anything to say. He shook his head and sighed, "…I don't know… I just can't stop blaming myself."
"I used to be like that too." Naminé said firmly, and Sora nearly didn't believe that the same shy girl, who always hid behind Kairi's back, was right here, standing in front of him. Her voice and appearance were so… so firm. The blonde haired girl patted Sora's shoulder and continued, "…But when I met Kairi, she taught me not to always blame myself… You may not believe this, but she's not a bad person."
Then, she turned around and walked away, leaving Sora standing there, confused. What was Naminé trying to say?
Sora sighed once again. He closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards, and let the rain splash against his face. Maybe he could learn not to blame himself someday too?
Riku groaned as he ran down a street, and turned around from a corner. The rain was pouring down now… And there was still no sight of Sora. He wasn't in his favorite ice cream bar, or in a local park, or in the library… And, unfortunately, Riku had no clue where any of Sora's friends lived.
Aerith was maybe at Cid's place, but Riku didn't know where Tidus lived… Aww man…
"RIKUUUU!"
Riku's eyebrow twitched, and he slowly looked over his shoulder. That horrible scream… could only mean one person… Kairi. He really didn't have time nor will to deal with her at the moment. Cloud was sick, and lying in a hospital, and all.
"RikuRikuRiku!" Kairi sang, as she ran to Riku, who tried to hold his anger. All he wanted to do, was kick Kairi's ass, because she had done her part to mess his life up…
"Riku, Riku, your concert was awesome! I really loved it, and the song was awesome! You know- we can go eat together! It's raining so hard, and I know a small pizzeria near here!" Kairi smiled sweetly, as she lifted her pink umbrella, so Riku could come underneath it too. But the silver-haired man just stood in the rain, narrowing his eyes to the brunette woman.
"Is something wrong Riku?" Kairi asked as innocently as she could, even though, she knew very well what was wrong… "…Riku? Ah, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it to go like this, but Sora just doesn't deserve you, since you'd need someone a lot better! Sora, he's just a childish schoolboy, who doesn't understand anything, and you-"
"Kairi…" Riku said, his voice was dangerously quiet, "…I'd punch you right here, if you wouldn't be so damn pitiful."
The pink umbrella fell on the ground, as Kairi realized that Riku was walking away. His back was slowly disappearing into the rain. And she just stared after it, as the reality hit her…
…It was all over now, for good. She had ruined all of her chances with Riku. Because… She wasn't the one Riku wanted. She could never be what Riku wanted.
And for the first time in Kairi's life, she admitted that she had been defeated.
"Tidus' been actin' weird lately." Cid said, while pulling out a cigarette from his pocket, and pulling Aerith closer to his side. The brunette woman sighed, and snatched the tobacco from her lover and threw it out of the window. "Hey!"
"No smoking, darling." Aerith said playfully and tickled Cid's ribs slightly.
"Whatever…" He chuckled, "…But as I was sayin', Tidus' been actin' weird… Ya know, he's all happy-go-lucky and… shit I can't remember when he last time smiled that much."
"But, then it is only a good think, right?" Aerith nodded, while she glanced towards the TV.
"Hmm… That maybe so, but… I think that he's hidin' somethin' from me."
Aerith looked at the blonde man, who rubbed his nose absently, "…I think you're worrying too much. Maybe he has found a lover or something?"
"That's what I'm thinkin' too." Cid said seriously, "…But ya know, I think that his lover ain't girl."
Aerith sighed and sat up properly. She knew that Cid was helpless homophobe… If Tidus was gay, Cid would probably kill him. It doesn't matter what she tried to say to him, but he never could accept man loving another man.
She didn't want to think about it, what would happen if Cid would find out that both of his sons were gay? Yes- Aerith knew that Cloud and Sora, both weren't too straight. Sora, well, because he just couldn't stop talking about Riku and the way he looked at Riku… Well, it was sure that Sora loved Riku. And Cloud… Well, the way he cared so much about his hair already proved that he loved boys.
Yes, we all understand now that Aerith wasn't stupid or naïve. No matter what Sora and Cloud tried, they could never hide anything from their mother. Aerith was like a walking lie detector.
"What if Tidus' gay?" Cid asked, his tone rising a little bit and his fists balling, "What've I ever done wrong?"
Aerith rolled her eyes, and folded her arms, "It is okay to be gay. As long as he is happy, that should be all that matters to you."
"Hmph… As long as he's happy with a girl, I say." Cid snorted and leaned his back on the sofa. He really wasn't ready to admit that his own son would be gay. That really would be too much for him to take…
"Cid. You can't be sure that Tidus is gay, so why you're all so worked up for?" Aerith tried to calm Cid down, and save Tidus… Like she wouldn't have enough problems already, she had to get middle of something like this… She loved helping other's, but still… too much was too much.
Cid snorted again, and closed his eyes.
"I think you should leave Tidus be… He'll tell you eventually, I'm sure of that."
But Cid wasn't listening. He rubbed his nose thoughtfully, before opening his eyes and glancing towards Aerith. He smiled and pulled her closer and kissed gently her forehead, "Well, let's forget it, ya?"
Aerith nodded slowly, even though, she knew that Cid didn't stop thinking about it.
Naminé walked proudly down a street, towards her house. She had had no intentions to go apologize Sora, but when she saw him, she just felt like she'd had to go say sorry to him.
She smiled and sang quietly something, too deep in her thoughts that she nearly crashed on someone, who was coming behind a corner with great speed.
"Ah, I-I'm sorry…" She looked up at the man, and gasped, "R-Riku?"
No, she didn't gasp, because it was Riku, but because of the expression which was plastered on his face. It was something beyond sad and angry… Naminé looked into those aqua-colored eyes, but could only find a mess of disordered emotions. Unlike others, Naminé often noticed emotions and feelings no one other could.
"Hi…" Riku said, his voice sounded normal. But still, the blonde woman knew that there was something wrong. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what it was…
"I-if you're looking f-for Sora…" She said shyly, bowing her head, so she wouldn't have to look into those soul-piercing eyes, "…H-he's in front of his house… H-he pr-probably had forgotten his keys o-or something…"
"Thanks." Riku said and started to walk. But after few steps, he stopped walking and turned around, "Hey, how did you know I was looking for him?"
"I-I… I didn't."
Riku lifted his eyebrow, before he started to run again. Naminé frowned sadly and looked towards the wet asphalt. Riku's eyes had always held mixed emotions, but this time it was something greater… Riku probably didn't realize it, but he was more depressed than anyone understood. In fact, she knew that there was no one except for her, who knew now that Riku needed help…
And there was only one person who could help Riku, whatever was wrong…
Naminé sighed heavily and shook her head weakly. Life could be so unfair sometimes…
The water hit the ground rapidly, as she started to walk again. It was strange, how people needed other people around them, even if they'd end up hurting each other. People can't stand being alone for too long… No matter what they do, or what they say, they'll always be dependent on each other.
After walking a while, Naminé spotted something, or more like, someone, sitting on the wet asphalt, head tilted upwards and water hitting her face.
"Kairi?" Naminé asked, when she recognized the person. She gaped, before running to her friend, and picking up the pink umbrella from the ground, "Kairi, Kairi? Wh-what's wrong?"
"He… He left me…" The brunette woman sobbed. Naminé gave a concerned look to Kairi, as she quickly covered them both with Kairi's umbrella.
"Let's go, you'll catch a c-cold or something!" Naminé said, and tried to pull Kairi up, but in vain.
"What do you care Naminé? I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore!" The brunette woman screamed, now crying so hard, that her whole body trembled. Naminé blinked few times, as she looked into Kairi's lilac eyes. Pure sadness was only thing she could see in those numb eyes, as tears poured freely down from the corners of her eyes.
"Kairi…" Naminé kneeled down, carefully keeping the umbrella above their heads, "…I… You're my friend… I know, you've used me and all, but still… You're my friend and will always be. When I'm down, you always helped me to cheer up, and all… So… I want to help you now too…"
Kairi sniffed loudly, and wiped her tears away. She formed a weak smile to her lips, "Thank you, Naminé… I'm so glad you still consider me as your friend…" She said, and hugged Naminé, who sighed and returned the same pressure to her very best friend.
After a while, Kairi had regained some kind of composure, she stood up and helped Naminé on her feet too. She continued to sniff loudly, but a true, genuine smile was on her lips all of the time.
"One for all…" She started.
"…And all for one." Naminé ended her sentence, and started to giggle shyly, "But we can't say 'all', since there is only two of us."
"Heh." Kairi chuckled, and poked Naminé's forearm, "Maybe there's only two of us, but we're still unbeatable… Well, in some things anyway. Maybe I didn't get Riku, but I'll definitely find someone other, right Naminé?"
The blonde nodded, smiling happily.
"You know, I can ask Axel if he'd like to go out with you. Since I know you've been fancying about him for a while now." Kairi said, holding her chin thoughtfully. Naminé blushed furiously, and she poked Kairi's ribs.
"N-no I haven't…"
"Haha, yeah right." Kairi snickered, and started to walk. Her wet clothing was glued to her skin, but she didn't care.
"Kairi! W-what are you planning to do?" Naminé asked, as she caught up with her friend, who was grinning widely. "Kairi! You c-can't be serious…!"
"Hehehee, but if I am…?" The brunette replied, eyeing the blonde, whose face was all red now.
"But, Kairiii!"
"Hehee..."
CC: Sorry, it took me so long to write this chapter… And this must be the most boring chapter I've ever written… I mean honestly. I'll try to hurry up with the next chapter…
Riku: Yeahyeah, that's what you always say.
CC: Aww man, do you have something against me? I mean honestly T.T
Riku: You bet I have.
CC: …
Sora: Thanks all of you for your reviews! Crimson Chain is very happy! Like, uberhyper happy!
CC: Yeah, thanks all of you, and I'd be very very happy if you'd review to this chapter too, even if this' crappy and all… Lalalaa...!