Rain Drenched Promises

June 2006

Location- Caroline's

Carly circulated through Caroline's chatting up the customers. She loved the atmosphere in this place. Everything spoke to her taste, her preferences, no compromises or allowances for what anyone else might like.

Inside of this club she ruled the world.

But at home things were getting bleaker by the moment. Sonny upped the number of guards following her and the boys around because the Morales family from Jersey was trying to move in on Sonny's territory, taking advantage of the fact that Jason had been MIA for the last two months. Carly told herself that Jason would be back soon, in time to stop any blood from being spilled. But he only called long enough to leave messages on the answering machine, never when she was there to tell him to come back now. He sounded drained still.

How could losing Sam make him this wreaked? Carly planned to backhand the little twit if she ever ran across her again. What kind of idiot walks out on Jason Morgan?

Carly was about ready to go search the Southwest for him. This break from reality, home and her had gone on long enough.

She said

I don't know if I've ever been good enough.
I'm a little bit rusty, and I think my head is caving in.

And I don't know if I've ever been really loved
by a hand that's touched me?

Well I feel like something's
gonna give
And I'm a little bit angry,

well

This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you
Around
You don't owe me,

we might change
Yeah we just might feel good ...

Push lyrics by match box twenty

Jason exited the highway at the sign that read PORT CHARLES. He needed to speak to Sonny. The last time he called to check in Sonny insisted everything was fine, normal, quiet even. But Jason heard the lie in his voice. Something was up.

Before he dealt with Sonny he had someone more important to see. Someone who hated to be kept waiting, and he had done that to her for years now.

As soon as he stepped inside of Caroline's he smiled. The months by himself didn't lend themselves to many smiles. First he did his best to just move and not think. But the last few days, driving from dawn till dusk, to get back here he thought too much.

"JASE!" She was dashing toward him before he even made

it to the bar.

Carly flung herself into his arms with such force strangers might think they hadn't seen each other in years instead of months.

"Hey there," he said into her hair.

" You're back." She held on for another moment then stepped back and slapped his chest. " Never again! You hear me? What were you thinking leaving me for that long?"

Jason knew he shouldn't stay out of touch but everything had felt wrong to him when he left. Only once before in his life did he want to leave Port Charles that bad. When he lost her. And though that wasn't supposed to matter anymore Jason had never been one to lie to himself. The truth couldn't be manipulated- it was what it was. And it still ached like hell to think about.

Moving to the bar he said to the bartender, "Two beers."

Carly followed him and sat on the stool next to him. "Okay, listen, things are not good with the business right now. Have you spoken to Sonny?"

"I called him earlier today."

"Oh, so you call him but not me? Nice."

"Do you know something is happening with the business or is this just you being Carly?"

She screwed her face up at him. "Sonny hasn't admitted anything..."

"Right."

"But everyone knows the Morales' are in town."

Jason knew that crew had recently lost their mob boss. The word on the street was that a nephew killed him in order to take over. He promoted a bunch of young guys, guys who had left a mess of bodies laying all over New Jersey already.

"Sonny would have told me if they made a move, "Jason said "Is everything alright with you and the boys? No one has tried to mess with you, have they ?"

"We're fine. And just so you know Sonny thinks he can handle this on his own. I broke down and begged him for your number..."

Jason raised his eyebrow at her.

"Ya, thank you very much for making me do that," Carly said. "And he admitted you were calling him from a pay phone every few days. He seems to think you lost it after Sam left you."

The only thing I lost was the delusion that I could make a life with Sam, Jason thought to himself.

He took a drink of the beer. Carly kept her eyes trained on him for a full minute. He knew she was trying to tell if Sonny was right about him. Then she took a drink of her beer. Quiet now, just waiting.

"I told Sam to go," Jason said.

Carly jumped on that statement. "What did she do to you? Tell me. Did the little hoochie cheat on you? I always said she was not good enough for you. She-"

Jason cut her off. Softly he said, "Who is?"

"What?"

"Who is good enough for me, Carly?"

Her eyes questioned him. They both knew that answer. No one in her mind. No one but her. But Jason never brought up them. That was strictly taboo.

Sure, in a drunken, drugged or weak moment Carly had confessed she still wanted him. That was no secret. But it was unspoken on most days.

"Not a damn person I know," Carly answered. " Don't say it. You didn't find some poor thing on the side of the road that needed you to rescue her? What are we talking about here?"

Smiling, Jason said "Hell if I know."

"Let's get down to it then. Are you staying in town now for good?"

"Nothing is decided for me right now." Jason rarely looked into the future. Every time he tried- when he risked it all to build a family with Carly and Michael, when he married Courtney, when he wanted to be a father to Sam's daughter Lila- the fallout when it never happened killed little pieces of him.

But he knew something , maybe everything, had to change for him. Because nothing in his life before he left Port Charles made any sense. Somewhere in the middle of Wyoming he thought about not coming back here. A few years ago turning his back on the business, his loyalty to Sonny, his obligations to clean up his messes would have been unthinkable.

Until Michael and Morgan were kidnapped Jason had been willing to pay the costs of the living in the mob world. Then Carly lost her mind right in front of him. And everything he thought he was protecting was hurt in ways that can't be undone.

What was the point of this life now? Buying time till they all took their places, side by side, in early graves?

Jason wanted to give them more than that.

Jason said, "But I promise you I won't leave without talking to you first."

Her eyes widened, fear and hurt played on her features.

"You are leaving us, aren't you Jason?"

"I should go deal with Sonny." Jason stood. But didn't walk away. He looked at her sitting there giving him her "How dare you?" look.

Carly insisted on walking him out. As he got on his bike she said, "I know Sam has something to do with you acting this way. Whenever you're this moody there is some woman involved."

Jason shook his head and started the bike. Before he drove away he said, "I'll be by later to see you and the boys. Wait for me."

"Don't I always?"

He nodded at her. Put on the bike helmut and rode off with her words repeating in his mind.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

Lyrics from the song Everything by alanis morrisette