Respect Me Not

Warnings: There still are mistakes in grammar, I think. Also Shounen-ai, which means malexmale love. NOT FOR KAIRI FANS! (or Naminé) Also, there might be some drug using, self-destructive activities and maybe some character deaths… Crossovers from Final Fantasy VII and VIII…

Pairings: SoraxRiku, one-sided SoraxAxel and RikuxKairi, WakkaxTidus, CloudxLeon, AerithxCid and maybe some more…

Disclaimer: Gaahh, I still don't own Kingdom Hearts or the songs I use here… :sobsob:

Reviews:

Thank you all. :) I feel so special.

Chapter 19, News, Photographs And A False Reality

"Sora?"

"Uh-hmh?" Sora tilted his head upwards, towards Riku's voice. His eyes were still numb from all of the crying, as he emptied the contents of a coke can into his mouth. For some weird reason, his past didn't haunt him even nearly as much as it used to, before telling everything to Riku.

"…You know…" Riku started, as he let his gaze wander around a small hospital cafeteria, "…I don't know if this' the right place or time to say this but…"

Sora frowned, and rubbed his eyes quickly.

"But…" Riku continued, staring at Sora, loving smile on his lips, "…But I respect you. You're strong, unlike me. I've got lost in the darkness inside of me more than once. And that's why you, Sora, are my light. Sora, you can't understand how much I lov-…"

"SORA! RIKU!" Yuffie waved to the two men, as she approached them, "Let's head back to Cloud's room already!"

Riku groaned and just wanted to throw the empty coke can at Yuffie's head. Didn't she understand what she had just ruined? He gave an angry glare to her, before standing up and taking Sora's hand.

"Let's go. Sora."

Sora nodded his head shyly, as he felt Riku's hand covering his'. It felt so right… It felt so real. His lips curved upwards, but only a little, and only for few seconds. But that was enough for Riku to realize that there was nothing he needed more than Sora. He tightened his grip around Sora's hand and leaned to place a quick and simple kiss on the brunette's lips.

Riku whispered something into Sora's ear, before starting to lead the blushing young man out of the cafeteria, towards Cloud's room.

"Ngh, Leon… The others might be back every moment now!" Cloud moaned, as he was pinned down on the bed, Leon, who was on top of him, kissing him to his neck rather hungrily, "…Please… Someone might hear us…"

Leon just smirked as he just continued to tease poor Cloud, who squirmed beneath the older male.

"Leooon!" The blonde whined, but only pulled Leon closer to his chest.

"Funny, how you want me to stop, but still just pull me closer and closer…" The scar-faced man chuckled, and lifted his head to kiss Cloud's lips.

Suddenly the door slammed open, and Leon shot up from the bed and backed off to the corner, acting like he'd been in there all of the time. Cloud hid his red face into his hands, and tried to smother the giggles, which escaped from his lips.

Riku who was standing in the doorway, however, grinned from ear to ear. He had known all along that there was something going on between Cloud and Leon. They were so perfect opposites, which made them look so cute together. Just like him and Sora.

Sora stood behind Riku, oblivious about everything what was happening around him. He just innocently tilted his head to his side, his hand still held by Riku.

"'Grats Leon. I knew it all along…" Riku smiled and nodded his head towards Leon, who just hmph-ed.

"Knew what?"

"Ohh, don't try to play innocent with me!" Riku laughed. Cloud threw a pillow to the silver-haired man's direction, but missed the target, and instead hit his little brother. Sora let out a small whimper as the white pillow hit his face.

"Owwie… What did I do now?" He pouted and folded his arms.

The blonde man snickered from the bed, "Sorry Sora… Was supposed to hi-…"

"Good evening." A white dressed man stepped into the room and walked to Cloud's bed, "Feeling any better now?"

Cloud's face paled when he saw the serious look on the doctor's face. He nodded slowly and bit his lip, "…It is… serious isn't it?"

Riku and Leon exchanged glares, while the doctor took eyeglasses from his pocket and placed them on his nose. Riku closed the door of the room and guided Sora closer to Cloud's bed and placed him to sit on top of a chair. He frowned and stared at the doctor, waiting him to speak again.

Leon came closer to Cloud's bed too, and took Cloud's hand into his. The blonde man gave a helpless look to his new lover, before turning back to the doctor.

"Hmm…" The doctor said, after eyeing his papers for a while, "Well, this situation sure is complicated. We should've started the treatment right away, when we discovered your brain cancer. But now, the cancer tumor has grown bigger and it's harder to remove. And the operation won't be a cheap one either."

Sora's eyes widened as he listened the white dressed man's speech. Is he trying to say that… Cloud is going to die? He stood up and balled his fists, "D-don't tell me that my brother is going to… die!"

The doctor looked at Sora's blind eyes, before bowing his head sadly, "I'm afraid that there's nothing much we can do anymore. We can always try to operate him, but… It's most likely that he won't make it. The tumor has grown too big for us to remove. We could damage Cloud's nervous system, if we'd just try to remove it by hands."

Everyone looked at the blonde man, who frowned deeply, trying to hide the tears and his fear of death. His face was all white now and he felt really dizzy. Millions of different thoughts ran through his mind. He could hear his time ticking out, slowly but surely. He gulped to smother the sobs, which so stubbornly tried to pass through his lips.

"When… when I'm gonna die?" Cloud whispered, feeling like everything he had been standing on would just fall apart right under his feet.

"It's hard to say. Probably half of a year." The doctor said, and came closer to Cloud, so he could pat the blonde's shoulder, "I'm sorry. Are you sure you don't wanna try the operation?"

Cloud frowned, before shaking his head.

"Cloud?" Sora said quietly as he reached out for Cloud's hand, "…You'll try the treatment right? Right…? Everything will be fine, right?…"

The blonde turned his head towards Sora and opened his mouth to say something, but the words just didn't come out. Few tears rolled down his cheek, as he reached out to grab his little brother into a brotherly-loving hug.

"Sora, I'm so sorry…" He mumbled into his brother's spiky brown hair, "…But… I don't think that… I'll be okay."

"No… But… You can't… you just can't leave me alone…" Sora sobbed to Cloud's shirt. His whole body was trembling as he held tighter and tighter on his brother's shoulders, like he'd been afraid that his brother would leave him at the very second he'd let go.

Riku fixed his eyes at the floor. The conversation between the two siblings made him feel so depressed. How could life be so unfair to someone like Sora? The greatest person ever… The person who could never harm anyone or anything like the life kept hurting him. He sighed and balled his fists.

I swear Sora, I'll take your pain away someday… I promise…

"Sora… we all die someday…" Cloud tried to calm the brunette down, "…Sooner or later, everything will fade. Nothing's here to stay. My time just… came to an end before many others'."

"But it's not… fair."

"Nothing's fair Sora." Leon intruded the conversation, "It only hurts if you get close to someone. So maybe living without the people close to you would be the best."

"Leon!" Riku snapped and narrowed his eyes at the brunette, who didn't quiet down, but continued.

"…But, even if you'd want to live without the people close to you, you couldn't. People aren't made to tolerate the loneliness." Leon said, and inhaled a deep breath, "Yet sometimes you're forced to let go of the one you love."

Sora sniffed loudly, and loosened his grip around Cloud's shoulders.

The doctor bit his bottom lip, before opening his mouth to speak again, "Well… I'm afraid that we'll have to keep you here over the night, just in case. And I suggest you to go home and get some sleep." He said and nodded his head towards Sora, Riku and Cloud.

"Yea. I'll take Sora home." Riku said, as he walked to Sora and took his hand into his.

"Sora…" Cloud said, as he walked his brother walk away, "…Don't tell mom. Please."

Sora sighed. He didn't know whether he should or not tell Aerith about Cloud's condition. She had right to know, but…

"Please, Sora, I beg you…"

"Okay… I won't." Sora gave his brother a weak smile, before turning to follow Riku out of the room.

Kairi sneezed loudly, as she tried to hold a cup of tea properly in her hands. Naminé came from the kitchen and rolled her eyes playfully.

"…T-that's what you get from standing in the rain." She laughed quietly, as she placed a bowl of popcorns on a coffee talbe, "I made some popcorns… We didn't have anything else in our shelves, no matter how many times I searched through them."

"It's okay Nami." Kairi smiled and pulled a blanket tighter around her.

The blonde girl nodded and sat next to her friend. She gave a concerned look to Kairi, "…Wanna talk about it…?"

"Talk about what?" Kairi asked, faking a smile to her lips, "There's nothing left to say. Riku doesn't love me, so I guess I just need to find a new guy to fall in love with. This world is full of men, so why would I be so down because of Riku?"

"Kairi… You can't just make yourself fall in love with someone." Naminé said sadly and reached out to pat Kairi's shoulder, "...But you can't make anyone fall in love with you either. So… so this situation is kind of… c-complicated."

The brunette girl didn't reply, just stared at the tea in her bright yellow cup. Well, in the end, Riku and Sora were kind of cute together, even if she hated to admit it.

Naminé smiled shyly and played with her hair, while waiting for Kairi to say something.

"Hmm…" The brunette said finally, "Fancy doing something fun?"

"Like what?" Naminé frowned.

"Like… playing a detective?"

Riku and Sora walked down the large corridors in the hospital, until they finally reached the exit. When the glass door opened, Riku saw that it was still raining. He sighed and turned to look at Sora.

"I'll go get us umbrellas, wait here, okay?" Riku said and kissed Sora's temple quickly, before disappearing back into the hospital. Faint blush crept to his cheeks, as he tried to ignore the hotness of his face.

He took few steps forward to step into the rain. He looked up and let the rain hit his face. When he thought that everything would be fine again, it all started to fall apart again. When his life would return to it's normal pace again? Or would anything be like they used to be never again?

The brunette let his face drop down slowly, and tried to create a smile to his lips. If you wanted to change the world, you need to change yourself first. Maybe starting with a small smile would help. Not maybe much, or in remarkable way, but if it could bring happiness to even someone, it'd be enough.

Suddenly, Sora heard a car coming his way and stopping right in front of him. But he ignored it, it was probably just someone picking someone up from the hospital.

But then, someone grabbed his hand and yanked him forward. He yelped and tried to fight free from the grip, but in vain.

"W-who are you!" Sora cried as he was dragged towards the car. A figure, with a hood pulled up to cover his face, let out a mocking snicker, and just kept dragging poor Sora. "L-let me go!"

The dark figure threw Sora into the car and jumped in after him. He slammed the door close and the car started to drive away fast, soon vanishing into the rain and the darkness of night.

Only few seconds later Riku slipped through the sliding doors, but couldn't find Sora anywhere. He eyed his surroundings, but there was no sign of the brunette man.

"Sora?" He asked, as he walked forwards, "SORA?" The silver-haired man yelled, starting to feel a little nervous. Why, or where, Sora would have gone without him? He couldn't see anything, and Angelo wasn't with him, so why would he leave without him?

"Sora…?" Riku turned his head from left to right, but in vain. There were only dark streets and wet concrete walls surrounding him. No Sora. Nothing.

"Where are we going, Kairi?" Naminé asked curiously, as she followed her brown-haired friend, "And why you're carrying your camera with you? It's raining, you might broke it, b-because I don't think it's waterproof or anything."

"Ohh, shut it already Nami! I know where I'm going, okay?" Kairi giggled as she just kept walking. Naminé bit her lip, but didn't try to object anymore.

They walked in silence for a while, until they passed the hospital. Kairi's eyes widened as she saw Riku and Sora walking out of the glass doors. Then a grin spread to her features, as she hid into the shadows of a dark alley, pulling Naminé after her.

"Kairi, w-wha-…mpfh!" Kairi put her hand on Naminé's mouth and gestured her to be quiet.

"Shush! We can't get caught!" She whispered, "…I just want to take few pictures of these two… They're so cute together, don't you agree?"

Naminé frowned and just shook her head. This was crazy…

Kairi pointed Riku and Sora with her finger, jumping up and down like a bewildered yaoi- fangirl, when Riku kissed Sora's forehead, "Ohmigod, did you see that! Oh crap, I missed it… I wanted to take a photo from that one!"

Naminé rolled her eyes, but couldn't help a small giggle, which escaped from her lips.

"Heyhey, where's Riku going? He just can't leave Sora stand there all by himself, what if someone comes and abduc-…" But Kairi couldn't finish her sentence, as a pitch black car drove past them and braked right next to Sora, "…-ted…"

Both Kairi's and Namine's eyes grew wide as plates, as they saw someone jumping out of the car and heading towards Sora. The brunette girl lifted the camera to her eye level and zoomed at the hooded man and Sora.

"W-who are you!"

Naminé looked at Kairi, "W-what's g-going on?" she whispered. Kairi shushed and frowned.

"L-let me go!"

The two girls stared as Sora was pulled into the car, and it started to drive away. Kairi's hand slipped and there was a blinding flash of light in the back alley, as Kairi accidentally took a picture of the black car.

"What was that all about!" Kairi gasped as she held her camera close to her chest, "…Who was that guy! What are they gonna do to Sora?"

Naminé was as shocked as Kairi was, "I d-don't know, b-but I think that we should get s-s-some he-help."

"Hell yeah… Let's get going!" Kairi said and turned to run towards the nearest police station she knew, Naminé following right after her.

Leon hit his balled fist to bathroom sink. He breathed heavily as he tried to calm himself down.

He knew all along, it was a mistake to fall for Cloud. Everything would just come crashing down. The time was so cruel… and the Destiny was even crueler. Why always the good ones die first? Cloud… why did he, from all of the people, have a brain cancer? Why…?

"Shit…" Leon mumbled as he lifted his head to look at a mirror above the sink. His reflection stared back, with hollow and sad eyes. Were his eyes always this depressed?

He sighed and straightened his back. What would he accomplish by sulking around? He should enjoy the time Cloud still had… Tell him how much he loved him, hold him close and… just be with him. Even if it was only for half year, it was better than nothing.

"Wow, I'm being positive for once in my lifetime." He laughed bitterly, as he touched the cold surface of the mirror, "…Tomorrow… I'll take him out to a dinner…"

Leon nodded and continued to stare at his reflection. It has been a long time since he smiled his real smile. But after these many years this sadness and sorrow, he just haven't felt like smiling. There was… no reason to smile. Until now, his life has been just going with the flow, day after day. But now, there was Cloud. Now there was a reason to live.

For a long time, Leon felt that the world around him was real. Not the nightmare he was used to live in.

He chuckled emptily, before turning around and leaving the bathroom.

So this' how it feels to live… I've already forgotten what it felt like to face the reality. Good thing I didn't pull the trigger back then.

"Heya, anyone home!" Aerith yelled from the doorstep, as she stepped into the empty house. She frowned sadly when there was no reply.

She remembered when Cloud and Sora were younger, they always ran to the door when she came home, yelling happily 'Welcome home!'. She smiled to the happy memory. But when the time passes, people change. They grow older and the childish innocence will be consumed by the world around them.

It is kind of sad in fact. How the childhood vanishes and people grow older. The world would be much better place if people never grew up. Aerith giggled silently. Thinking about such things reminded her of Peter Pan and the Neverland.

Still smiling faintly she walked to kitchen and searched through a small cabinet, until she found what she had been looking for. She took few pills from a small package.

"Ahh… Nothing relaxes you as much as sleeping pills." She said, her voice hollow and distant. She eyed at the two pills, before putting them into her mouth and swallowing them without water. Her knees gave up and she fell on the floor, "Hehe, so this' what they call bliss."

The brown-haired woman's hands trembled as she reached out to pull herself up from the floor. Somehow she was able to crawl to the living room and lie on her back on the couch. She closed her eyes and let a dreamless slumber overwhelm her.

CC: Phew… I wrote this chapter the fastest I could. I hope you liked it… Sorry if it's kinda short.

Riku: O.O

CC: Wut?

Riku: YOU… BASTARD!

CC: …Eeep… Review me, or Riku will send brain-eating pixies after me and I won't be able to write the next chapter. Haha, just kiddin'. Review if you wanna make me happy… :P