Respect Me Not

Warnings: There still are mistakes in grammar, I think. Also Shounen-ai, which means malexmale love. NOT FOR KAIRI FANS! (or Naminé) Also, there might be some drug using, self-destructive activities and maybe some character deaths… Crossovers from Final Fantasy VII and VIII…

Pairings: SoraxRiku, one-sided SoraxAxel and RikuxKairi, WakkaxTidus, CloudxLeon, AerithxCid and maybe some more…

Disclaimer: Still I own nothing. Hmph.

Reviews:

Thanks thanks. :)

Chapter 23, Betrayed Hope

Cloud kicked his shoes off, while he walked into his house. Aerith was sitting by the television, watching some weird show about two lovers who couldn't be together for some reason. The blonde man lifted his eyebrow, as he sat down next to his mother.

"Weird things you're watching mom."

Aerith jumped slightly, like she'd been in some kind of trance. Then she laughed in relief and grabbed the remote control, "I wasn't really watching it. Just thinking about some stuff."

Cloud frowned and looked at his mother. Aerith still had no idea about his son's illness. Maybe it was a good thing… or maybe not. She would find it out eventually anyways… There was no hiding it, once his condition would get even worse. But he still didn't want to go through all those treatments, since he knew that he wouldn't survive anyways.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Cloud?" Aerith asked, patting Cloud's shoulder. The blonde man sighed. It's just like always… Aerith really was a walking lie detector…

"No, nothing's wrong. I think I'll go lay down for a while." Cloud said, as he stood up and rubbed his temples, "I hate these headaches…"

The brunette woman gave him a concerned look, "Are you sure there's nothing I need to know?"

"Y-yeah." Cloud nodded his head, before running up the stairs, and nearly stumbling on Angelo, who was lying in the end of the stairway. He cursed mentally, as the dog just kept sleeping. He rolled his eyes, as he proceeded to his room.

As soon as he reached his bed, he jumped on it and lied down. He covered his eyes with his arm, while smiling faintly. The concert has gone really well from his opinion. Maybe he could get used to this kind of life… Or maybe he should quit before the band would get too famous?

Cloud shook his head, as the smile slowly faded. What if he really died? No, he shouldn't think about it… Not yet. He'd get enough money to pay the treatment. Somehow, he'd survive. He had to survive.

He ran his hand through his blonde hair. If he'd start the treatment, he'd have to say goodbye to his lovely hair… Cloud sighed, as he touched his silky locks, while wondering if he could find a wig, which would be just like the hair he had now.

Light steps could be heard from the small corridor, before Angelo poked his head inside Cloud's room. It sniffed the air and ran next to the blonde man's bed. He backed up few steps, before jumping on it and lying next to Cloud. The said man chuckled, as the dog nuzzled his nose against his arm gently.

"Fine, sleep there then… Weird dog…" Cloud snorted playfully, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Later that day, Riku was walking towards Sora's house. He just had to see the younger brown-haired man… After seeing Tidus hugging his Sora, he couldn't help but feel suspicious. He knew that it was probably only his paranoia again, but he had to make sure.

As he reached the front door of Sora's house, he inhaled a deep breath, before knocking it slowly. He could hear Aerith yelling 'I'm coming'. Riku hugged himself for warmth, as the biting cold wind blew from north.

The door opened and Aerith stood behind it, and as she noticed Riku, she smiled warmly, "Hello Riku. Looking for Sora, I assume?"

"Yeah. Is he at home?" Riku said, while peeping over the brown-haired woman's shoulder.

"Ah yeah. Come in, he should be in his room." Aerith nodded her head, while letting Riku in and closing the door after him. She looked at a clock, which was hanging on the wall, "Oh, looks like I'm already late… I promised to go see Larxene today. She has been sick for few weeks now… So, have fun with Sora!"

Riku smirked, as he watched Aerith to take her coat and dashing out of the door.

"Fun indeed." He chuckled, before kicking his shoes off and starting to walk up the stairs. He walked into Sora's room without even knocking, and saw the brunette sitting by his table, headphones covering his ears, as he drew.

Riku snickered quietly, before sneaking behind Sora and looking over his shoulder, to see what he was drawing. It was a picture of a man (who looked much like Riku) sleeping in the middle of white pillows and blankets. The expression on the man's face was peaceful, as he slept and clutched one of the pillows to his chest.

"That's a really good drawing, Sora." Riku said, while snaking his arms around Sora's waist. The brunette jumped, and would have probably fallen down from his chair, if Riku didn't hold him so tightly.

"R-ri-riku!" Sora gasped, while hiding the picture he had just been drawing, "H-how long you've been here?"

"Long enough…" Riku whispered huskily into Sora's ear, while gently stroking his stomach with his hands, "…Why are you hiding that picture? It was pretty."

Sora mumbled something, while folding his arms. Riku couldn't help but laugh to that pout on the other one's face. It was so cute, yet childish. Riku could remember seeing that same pout back in the kindergarten, the day he met Sora the first time. But then he could have never even guessed and he and Sora would end up like this.

"I love you." Riku said, before giving Sora a short and quick kiss on his cheek, "…And I hope that you feel the same…"

Sora turned around in Riku's arms, and smiled to the older male, while a little blush crept to his features, "I love you too, Riku." He replied, before leaning towards the taller man, and burying his nose to Riku's shirt.

Riku kicked Sora's chair, which was by the table, out of the way, while pushing the younger one against the table. The silver-haired man placed gentle kisses around Sora's neck, and behind his ear, causing the brunette let out small gasps and moans every now and then.

"Hey, Sora I… uhh…" Tidus walked into Sora's room, just to see Riku slipping his hand under the brunette's shirt. They both turned to look at the man, who was standing in the doorway. The blonde blushed a little, and turned around to leave, "…I-I just came to say t-that I'm going to Wakka's p-place… So, I guess I'll see you guys l-l-later… umm, have fun!"

And faster than the speed of light, Tidus was gone. Riku turned his head back to Sora, only to see that he was blushing madly. The silver-haired man laughed, before pulling away and starting to walk towards the door of Sora's room, "You hungry? I could probably cook something if it's okay with you?"

"I-I'm not really hungry… b-but if you're hungry, you can cook s-something…" Sora mumbled, while looking down at the wooden floor.

Riku smirked as he walked back to Sora and kissed his forehead, "Don't worry hun, next time I'll book a hotel room, so no one will intrude us…" he said, before walking out of Sora's room, and hurrying down the stairs, to the kitchen, leaving the blushing brown-haired boy behind.

Sora didn't know what to do at first. He just stood there, smiling happily, until he realized what he was doing, and started to walk towards the kitchen.

As he walked past Cloud's room, he saw his brother lying on his bed, Angelo curling up next to him. Sora couldn't help but giggle to the sight. It was so cute to see those two sleeping there, since they usually didn't like each other much. The brunette tiptoed down the stairs, but jumped down the last few steps.

Riku was already searching through their fridge, and pulling out some ingredients. Sora sat by the kitchen table, watching the silver-haired man's back. He wondered if the older male had even noticed his presence.

"Hmm…" Riku hmph-ed, while holding his chin thoughtfully, "You know what, Sora?"

The brunette man leaned his head on his palms, "What is it?" he mumbled, while keeping his eyes on the back of Riku's head.

"I've been thinking that… what if Cloud really dies?" Riku mumbled, as he turned around, his eyes filled with concern and worry, "Because… there always is a possibility that he won't survive. The doctor said that the tumor was pretty bad too."

Sora closed his eyes and inhaled a deep shaky breath. Riku was right, they didn't know if Cloud really would survive. He balled his fists and quietly banged his head on the table, "…I k-know… But… I just… I… I don't know…"

The silver-haired man frowned sadly, before turning back around. Maybe it was stupid to even start talking about Cloud, since he knew that Sora was worrying too much already.

An awkward silence landed to the kitchen, but neither one of the men was willing the break it. Riku just continued cooking, while Sora kept banging his forehead on the table. But besides that, everything was quiet.

Deadly silence.

Tidus knocked on Wakka's house's door. He smiled widely, while waiting for the orange-haired man to come and open the door for him.

He waited.

…And waited…

Eventually Wakka opened the door, his hair was messy, and he had his collar was pulled up to cover his neck. Tidus lifted his eyebrow, as he looked at his boyfriend quizzically, while tilting his head to left slightly, "Something wrong?"

"Nahh, just feelin' a little sick, ya?" Wakka replied a little bit too fast, which caused Tidus' eyebrow twitch a little. The blonde could feel weird tension in the atmosphere, but he just couldn't tell what was wrong.

"Aww…" Tidus said and smiled sweetly, "Lemme in, and I can take care of you!"

"Nah, I'll be okay." The orange-haired man insisted, while blocking Tidus' way, so he couldn't enter his house, "Don't wanna yah to catch my flu."

Tidus blinked few times, feeling a little bit offended because of Wakka's actions, but masked his hurt into a smile, "Okay. Well, I'll go back to Sora's house then… Take care, hope you'll get well soon." He said, before kissing Wakka gently to his lips. But before the orange-haired man could even reply, Tidus was already gone.

He sighed and closed the door. Lulu came from behind a corner, only wearing a blanket, which was wrapped around her body. She walked to Wakka, and snaked her arms around his waist, the serious look never leaving her features, "Who was that?"

"Eh, uhh… It was Tidus." Wakka replied, while scratching the back of his head. Lulu snorted, and let go off the orange-haired man, and took few steps backwards.

"Didn't I already tell you that it's me or Tidus. You can't have both of us. So, if you want me to stay, then you have to leave Tidus, understood?"

"I… I know… But he has gone through a lot of mess lately, ya? So I'll tell him when I get a chance…" Wakka mumbled a humble reply, while walking past the gothic woman, who lifted her eyebrow at the man. She sighed and shook her head in defeat.

Men are hopeless.

Later that day, Riku and Sora were sitting in the living room in Sora's house. The brown-haired laid his head on the other's lap, while Riku played with his hair. They were just sitting there even the television wasn't turned on.

"Riku…?" Sora asked quietly, while grabbing Riku's hand and running his finger on the other one's palm.

"What is it?"

"I was just… wondering that…" The brown-haired man said, "…What do you think that happens after you die? Do you think that there's life after the death? I know this' a weird question, but I just… I dunno…"

Riku frowned thoughtfully and remained quiet for a while, before answering, "I don't think that's a weird question. It's normal to wonder such things as that… And well… I don't think that there's life after the death." The silver-haired man explained, "…I think that being dead is like you'd be sleeping without dreaming. Don't have to feel pain and sadness of this world anymore…"

Sora nodded his head and turned his head a little, so he could look up at Riku, "Yeah, that sounds pretty logical…"

"But then again…" Riku added suddenly, "…No one knows. And the ones who know, don't belong to this world anymore."

Riku could hear muffled sobs coming from Sora, who had turned around again, and was currently crying on his lap. The silver-haired man pulled the other male up, and placed him to sit next to him. He stared straightly into those sky blue eyes, which were filled with tears.

"Sora, what's wrong?" He asked and gently squeezed his shoulders.

"I d-don't want C-Cloud to die…"

Riku pulled Sora closer, and buried his nose to the spiky brown locks. He knew that there were no words that could calm Sora down now. They both knew too well that there was nearly no hope left. The heart-breaking sobs of Sora, made Riku feel like crying too, but he managed to control his emotions.

"Cloud isn't going to die…" Riku whispered, even though he knew that even Sora wasn't naive enough to believe his words.

Losing someone close to you is something you can't imagine how it feels like, before you really have experienced it. It feels so unreal, when you know that he or she isn't walking through that same door again, no matter how long you wait. It doesn't feel real, as you watch the grave of someone you love, and know that he or she is lying right beneath you.

"Riku…" Sora said while nuzzling his nose to the taller one's shirt, "…Never leave me again…"

Riku smiled, as he pushed Sora away slightly, so he could look into his eyes again, "Never… I'll stay with you, until the day I die."

The brunette smiled, few tears still flowing down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to say something, but before any kind of sound passed his lips, a blinding light filled the room, startling both of the men.

"Aww, that was soooo cute!" Cloud shrieked like a random yaoi-fangirl, as he stood there, holding a small digicamera. He smirked, and waved his hand in the air, "Okay, okay, now could I get some more passionate stuff? Please…? Pretty please?"

Riku and Sora exchanged glares, before staring Cloud, who grinned widely, still waiting for some hot boy on boy action. But when nothing happened, he snorted and threw the camera towards Sora, but the brunette (who was already really experienced remote control- dodger) dodged the camera and it crashed to one of the walls in the living room.

"You're no fun…" Cloud mumbled, before walking away to the kitchen.

Riku looked at Sora, frowning deeply, "Uhh… is that his normal behavior?"

"No, not really." Sora chuckled, "Usually he throws only remote controls."

"Still want something?" An old barkeep asked from Aerith, who was leaning her head on the counter, which separated her and the bartender. She shook her head, but never lifted it from the cold table.

"No thanks…" she mumbled. She was already more intoxicated than she should have, and everyone could see it. The way she clumsily lifted her arms and spoke couldn't be ignored. The barkeep lifted his eyebrow at the brown-haired woman, before disappearing somewhere.

Aerith took her empty wineglass and pressed it against her warm temple. She couldn't think clearly anymore, but something she knew was that she couldn't go home tonight. She didn't want her sons or Tidus to see her in a state like this.

With fumbling steps, she slowly started to head towards the door of the bar. She could go to Larxene's place, since she really wasn't sick, like she had told Riku. She needed just some fake excuse to leave her own house, and get drunk. Or maybe she could just book a hotel room?

Aerith exited the small bar-restaurant, and stepped into cold night of Tokyo. She hugged her arms for warmth, as she walked towards the nearest hotel she knew. She nearly tripped on every small stone on her way and it seemed to be really hard to walk straight forward, without stumbling to her own feet.

Few teenagers, who passed her by gave her odd glances, before continuing their way to wherever they were going. Aerith giggled stupidly, as her feet finally gave up and she found herself lying on the cold and wet pavement. She tilted her head slightly upwards, and saw pair of black boots in front of her.

"Hm." A cold and manly voice said somewhere above Aerith's head, "Nice place you chose to take a nap."

Aerith couldn't help but laugh out loud. Everything seemed so funny, no matter if she was lying on the freezing pavement, "Oh my gwad, you awe soooooooo fuuunny mister."

The man in front of her looked down at her. He was wearing black sunglasses, though his eyes could be seen behind them. He had black hair, with some white streaks. He frowned, as he looked at the woman who was lying on the ground. Something deep inside of him told him to help her, but then again, he didn't know if he should.

Aerith tried to get up, but ended up falling on her face again. But instead of cursing or moaning, she just laughed. The black-haired man shook his head, before yanking the woman up from her shoulders, "Let's go."

"Where we awe goin'?" Aerith mumbled, as the man started to drag her towards an unknown direction.

"I'm taking you to a hotel, to clear your head up."

"Ohhh, you're a nice maaaaaan!" The brown-haired woman giggled like there was no tomorrow.

The dark-haired man snorted, and said, "The name is Auron."

But Aerith just kept giggling. That's why Auron decided to ignore her for the rest of the voyage.

Tidus sat down on Selphie's bed, while the said one sat next to him.

"Is something wrong?" Selphie asked with concerned tone, as she patted her friend's shoulder gently. The blonde man just shook his head weakly, while looking down at his lap, where his hands laid neatly.

Tidus couldn't help the weird feeling inside. After what Wakka had done… it all made him feel so weird. It was like everything he would have tried to keep whole, suddenly fell apart. And the weirdest thing was that he didn't even know why he felt this way. Wakka had just told him not to come in, nothing else. Yet he was still all torn apart.

Selphie was still waiting for Tidus' answer, but the blonde was too deep in his thoughts to notice, as he tried to solve the riddle of emotions. The brunette woman sighed, and slapped back of Tidus' head gently, "C'mon Tiddy, what's wrong?"

Tidus looked at his friend, before shaking his head, "I don't know… I just… I went to meet Wakka today and…" he inhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes, "…He didn't let me in… I-I dunno why, but I j-just feel pretty offended…"

Selphie tilted her head to left a little, while glancing the nearly crying Tidus. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it without saying anything. She repeated this action for a while, before she finally found the right words to say, "So you t-think that he was up to something…? Something he didn't want you to know?"

Tidus nodded his head wearily.

"You have any kind of idea what that could be…?" Selphie asked.

"No… Oh well, yeah… But I hope that isn't true…" Tidus said, while pushing his palms against his eyes, "…I just d-don't know what to do… Really, I have no reason to feel like this… yet still… look at me… I'm freaking crying."

Tidus' shoulders started to tremble and silent sobs escaped his lips. Selphie's eyes widened, as she really started to panic. She had seen Tidus' cry only twice, and both of the cases happened back in the kindergarten.

"Oh, Tidus!" Selphie said, and hugged her friend. She stroked his head, "Shh… it's okay… I don't think that Wakka would ever cheat on you…"

But Tidus' didn't stop crying. He leaned his head on the woman's shoulder, while tying his arms around Selphie's neck. The tears made the brunette's yellow shirt wet, but she didn't care. As long as she could help her friend to calm down, nothing else mattered.

"Tiddy… calm down… We'll go talk with Wakka later, okay?"

Tidus looked at Selphie, before pulling away and wiping the tears with his sleeve. He nodded his head and formed a smile to his lips, "Yeah… Maybe I'm just… being a paranoid again."

The brown-haired woman jumped to her feet and pulled Tidus up too. She smiled widely, and poked the other one's nose, "I think we have some ice cream in the freezer. Come on, let's go!"

Tidus couldn't help but let out a small laugh. He couldn't do anything but admire Selphie's happiness. How could she always smile like that, even though everything was going straight down to Hell?

It felt like a gigantic weight had just left Tidus' heart. Maybe crying was the best medicine for these kinds of things. Just to cry on a shoulder of someone close to you.

And maybe there are some things that can't be explained. And maybe all of them don't need an explanation, or it's better if you don't know the truth. But in the end, the truth that may hurt the most is much better than a life, which is covered up with lies.

CC: Sorry, just had to add Auron… Played too much Final Fantasy X last night, hahaha. Sorry if everyone's being OOC.

Riku: When this story is going to end?

CC: Probably soon, but then again… dunno… o.o

Sora: I hope the ending will be happy…

CC: Who knows? Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing. Feel free to review this time too. o/