Aragorn left his father's study feeling at least somewhat relieved that his father did not despise him, though the fact that Elrond was less than happy was rather clear. As Aragorn thought about it, he regretted not suggesting that Elrond hold Faramir, as that seemed to cause everyone to fall in love with him instantly. At the moment, though, he was tired, hungry, and all he really wanted was...
"Arwen?" That very likeness of Luthien by the garden door could be no other.
"Aragorn!" she said with a beautiful, almost shy smile, the one that made Aragorn melt. Her eyes glimmered with her joy to see him and she glowed, more than usual. "I thought i heard Erestor speaking to you, but i did not believe that it could be you, no matter how i hoped to see you again."
For a few moments Aragorn was rendered speechless and motionless. It was always so when he was in Arwen's presence and he had a feeling he would never get over it. He managed to compose himself enough for a half bow and a softly spoken, "my lady."
"Who is this child you hold?" she asked, sounding more curious than accusatory.
If anything, that ached Aragorn all the more. And yet, glancing at his quiet little boy, he felt as though he wanted to introduce his son to the world. Just looking at Faramir made him so very proud. "This is Faramir, my son," he said evenly, looking up slowly to meet Arwen's eyes and begging the Valar that he would not find devastation there. He had not mentally worked on this introduction long enough and suddenly he remembered Elrond's words, "i do not want you to approach her tonight." Yet, he could not simply tell his beloved that this would be discussed on the morrow, not now, and... gods! If she would only respond and break the silence!
For a moment Arwen stood wordless. Had Aragorn just said that this infant was his son? Her heart beat fast and she felt tense, as if some great fear was on her. Fear it was, fear that though they had been properly betrothed for three years, her lover had changed his mind and taken another for his wife. In that moment she found it difficult to breathe and more difficult to reject the tears that tore at her throat until the truth of situation was plain. In that moment, she struggled to hold her heart together, refusing to allow it to break so easily after so many years of waiting.
In that moment, Aragorn clearly saw all of her heartache mirrored in her beautiful eyes and it could have crushed him. "Arwen," he whispered, "come and talk with me, i beg you."
She hesitated slightly, not wanting to hear that the years had grown too many for him and he had chosen another, and yet craving to hear that he loved her, no matter the circumstance. In the end, her hope won out and she went with Aragorn to the chambers that had been accorded to him since his first day in Rivendell half a century ago.
Aragorn gently lay his restful son down in the cradle that Erestor had placed there beside his bed. It was the first time that Faramir had ever had proper sleeping accommodations of his own and Aragorn marveled at that fact. Oh, but he was sick to death of living like a beggar when he was allegedly supposed to be the King of Gondor and Arnor. His son deserved a better life than this self-imposed exile of his. And, he told himself, his adored Arwen deserved better than his behavior. Aragorn began to feel self-doubt coursing through him again and wondered how many more people he could let down before his days were ended.
Proud of his son and disgraced of himself, Aragorn walked back into his sitting room where Arwen waited, so beautiful, for him to sit beside her. He did not, instead kneeling before her. "You do not deserve this, Arwen," he said sadly. "You do not deserve a man who cannot even remain true without losing heart and control and giving in to pity and his own... Gods!" he cried of frustration.
"What are you saying?" she gasped. "If you are trying to dissuade me, to make me think that it was my idea to leave you, it will not work."
"No, i am not trying to dissuade you. I love you. But i am no longer worthy of your love, and you can not waste your choice on me," he said, looking up into her eyes. "I am sorry, Arwen, though i do not expect you to forgive me." His voice was a mere whisper.
"Who has told you these things?" she asked, no longer seated, but now kneeling with him. "Aragorn, i do not know how love works in Mortal realms, but i do not love lightly. If love only sees one's actions, and not into one's heart and the beauty of one's fëa, then it can not be love."
Arwen never once failed to amaze Aragorn. Her compassion was as boundless as her beauty. "Mela-nín," he said, taking ragged breaths, "only tell me that i have not already lost you and i will earn your trust." The downright dejection he was feeling could not be hidden in his grey eyes and it cut Arwen to the quick to so much as think of him hurting like that,though much worse was the thought of him doubting himself so.
"Aragorn," she said wrapping her arms around him and holding him close, "you have not lost me, and nor have you lost my trust. Le melin, le estelin," she said, her dulcet intonation soothing Aragorn as he melted into her embrace, permitting his tears to be shed as he felt flooded with relief. "Never think that i shall give up on you, mela, never. And do not disbelieve in yourself so. I love you, Aragorn, and naught shall change that. If you want to know, more than anything, i am just glad that you are well. How many nights i have lain alone worrying for you i can not count."
It was what he had needed for the last two months. No longer did he feel alone in the world, left to struggle to help his infant son in every desperate way that he could. Aragorn felt safe again, at home again, and more than anything, he felt loved again. He had needed to be held and comfortedas much as Faramir needed those things from him. So often Aragorn worried about replenishing the supplies of milk that he gave his son to drink, but only now did he see that what had been most neglected was his supply of love and comfort which he needed to receive as well as give on to his baby boy.
Suddenly surrounded by the warmth of Elven love, Aragorn found himself lolling to sleep in his beloved's beautiful arms. Arwen pressed a kiss to his temple which somehow migrated to his lips, bringing him instantly back to a state of wakefulness. "How can i ever thank you?" he whispered, but another kiss was the only reply he received.
Arwen pulled back a bit, looking deeply into his eyes, into his very soul,and smiling knowingly. "Your heart is beautiful, Aragorn." Gracefully she rose and he followed her out of automatic adoration. "Did Erestor not draw you a bath?" she said sweetly.
Aragorn thought for a moment before saying only, "likely." He supposed it would do him a lot of good, but he hated to leave his Faramir unattended, especially in case he happened to fall asleep in the bath as tended to happen when Erestor used oils in the water to make him sleep soundly at night.
"I will watch over Faramir, if you wish," she offered, almost chilling him as she seemed to read his mind.
"I do wish and i appreciate it more than i can tell you," he said, leaning in for another kiss.
She blocked his advance though with a light laugh. "No, you go and bathe. Faramir and i will sit out on your balcony. And when you have finished your bath, assuming you do not fall asleep and let the water go cold through the night, you should take to your bed. I will bring Faramir back in when you are already asleep and see that he is comfortable."
"I would be a lost man without you, Undomiel," Aragorn conceded with a smile before heading to that deep, hot bath waiting for him around the partition.
"Not as lost as i would be without you, Estel-nín," Arwen whispered in reply, gently picking up a sleeping Faramir and becoming captivated of the peaceful one at once.
ooo
Le melin, le estelin - This is an approximation on my part for "i love you, i trust you."
I trust the rest of the Elvish is self-explanatory? If not, don't hesitate to yell at me for being presumptuous. Sometimes i know these things and i figure they've been used so many time, so others must know too.
Elenhin: I am very glad that you won't give up, without reviews i fear i would wither. It shouldn't be too long now before Faramir starts growing up. First we have to get through Denethor charging after them, though. That should be in the next chapter. And of course i shall need to check in on little Boromir and his mumma. I wish we could strangle Grima, but alas, we have to wait a number of years until the Hobbits overthrow Sharkey.
grumpy: Grima is always causing trouble, but he is not nearly as skilled at trouble-causing as a certain pair of Elveswho shall temporarily remain nameless.
linda: Denethor is indeed on the warpath, but we shall have to see what he meets along that path. And it is indeed a good thing that Fin and Bor are getting away, at least for a while.
Is it hideously confusing to anything that every time i switch back to Denethor/Finduilas for a chapter i go back in time by a few weeks? I mean, you all get it, right, that Denethor is really only like three or four days behind Aragorn and Faramir?