Respect Me Not Chapter 29: Respect Me Not, a kingdom hearts fanfic

Respect Me Not

Warnings: There still are mistakes in grammar, I think. Also Shounen-ai, which means malexmale love. NOT FOR KAIRI FANS! (or Naminé) Also, there might be some drug using, self-destructive activities and maybe some character deaths… Crossovers from Final Fantasy VII and VIII…

Pairings: SoraxRiku, one-sided SoraxAxel and RikuxKairi, WakkaxTidus, CloudxLeon, AerithxCid and maybe some more…

Disclaimer: No, I still don't own anything. :sigh:

Chapter 29, Respect Me Not

Aerith was leaning her hands on her palms, Zexion sitting next to her, while Yuffie and Tifa were both standing next to them. Complete silence surrounded them, and none of them was willing to break it.

It had been already more than seven hours, since Cloud was taken behind that door. Sometimes a nurse walked out of the room, giving Aerith a reassuring smile, before disappearing somewhere and then returning soon, walking back into the room. But never they said anything. Not even a single word.

The brown-haired woman let out a deep sigh. She was worried, hell yes, she was. And, she couldn't help but be a little bit angry too. She swore that if and when she saw Cloud again, she would give him piece of her mind, for not telling her anything about his brain cancer. She'd definitely give him a lecture he wouldn't soon forget.

She bit her lip, glancing at the silver-haired man next to her, "…How long he's been like this?"

But Zexion just shrugged, since Cloud's brain cancer was a slight surprise for him too. He had heard Sephiroth talking about it sometimes, but he hadn't taken it seriously. It was one of these kinds of things, that you don't believe before you see it by your own eyes.

"Aerith…" Tifa said suddenly, walking closer to her, "…I'm sure he'll be alright. Ever since we were kids, he was that kind of type, who wouldn't give up. He's stubborn as hell, sometimes to a fault."

Aerith smiled to the young woman in front of her and nodded her head, "Thank you, Tifa. I hope his stubbornness is enough to save him this time too."

They exchanged small smiles. Suddenly, loud footsteps echoed in the corridor, and all of them turned to look at the direction of the voice.

"Sora!" Aerith said, standing up from the bench and placing her hands on her hips, "…Didn't I tell you to go home?"

Sora bowed his head. A small blush was on his lips, and his already messy hair was messier than usually. And Aerith couldn't help but note at least three hickeys on his neck. She shook her head, and glanced at Riku, who was walking right behind the brunette man, a satisfied smile on his lips.

"I-I know m-mom b-but…" Sora tried to mumble something. He noticed that his mother was glancing at his neck, and he quickly pulled his collar up, though it didn't really help to cover the reddish love marks on his skin.

"Sora…" Aerith started, walking towards the brunette man. She stopped right in front of him, then looked at Riku, frowning a little, "…I don't know where you were making love, but I surely hope it wasn't my car."

Immediately a bright blush covered Sora's cheeks, and he stepped away from Riku, mumbling something, which left unheard by everyone. The silver-haired man just chuckled, as he ran his hand through his hair, but never replying at the statement Aerith had just made.

"Why you didn't take Sora home, like you promised?" Aerith asked Riku, folding her arms above her chest.

"Because, I thought that it's…"

But before he could finish his sentence, the door behind Aerith's back opened, revealing a man with long white coat. He looked around, till he saw the brunette woman. He sighed deeply, and took few steps forward.

Tidus walked towards Wakka's apartment. He didn't really care if he was home or not… He'd just go there, and if he wasn't there, then he'd wait. He wanted to talk this through, and know what was going on.

The blonde boy stepped on Wakka's house's doorstep. He inhaled a deep breath, ready to knock on the door. But he started to hesitate… Wakka was his boyfriend… did he have to knock or ring the doorbell when he wanted to pay a visit? He shrugged and just opened the door, slightly surprised that it wasn't locked.

He stepped into the dark house. For a while he thought that Wakka wasn't home. But suddenly he heard faint voices coming from upstairs. Tidus frowned, as he closed the door quietly behind his back and kicked his shoes off.

It was probably television in Wakka's room… He must have forgotten to shut it off, when he left the house.

Tidus started to walk up the stairs. Well, more like tiptoeing…

When he was standing behind Wakka's room door, he heard a quiet dialogue behind it. He pressed his ear against the surface of the wooden door.

"Uhnn… Wakka…"

"C'mon Lulu… I wanna hear it again…"

"…Hear what?"

"Sayin' 'I love you.'"

"Hmp. I love you… Wakkie…"

Tidus placed his hand on top of his chest, feeling his heart beating rapidly. He placed his hand on the doorknob, not sure whether he wanted to see what was happening or not. The kissing sounds made him feel sick and loosen his grip around the doorknob.

He bit his tongue, to stop the sobs, which nearly crossed his lips. He kind of had seen this coming… yet now that he was standing there, he didn't know if he really wanted to see the truth.

Suddenly, he just pulled to door open, just to see Wakka lying on top of a black-haired woman, who let out small moans, as the orange-haired man caressed her everywhere she could just imagine. Painful group of shivers shook Tidus' body, as he tried to keep himself from throwing up at the sight in front of him.

The blonde boy inhaled a deep breath, since the two of them didn't seem to notice him.

It was gross, disgusting and wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. What he had done wrong to make Wakka leave him and go with some gothic slut? Tidus bowed his head, trying to find right words to say, but nothing came out of his mouth.

"W-Wakka…" Was everything, Tidus could finally say, before turning around, "…I guess that love in the first sight is nothing but bullshit. Unless you try to tell me now that 'this isn't what it looks like Tidus' or 'It was an accident'."

Wakka looked over his shoulder, his face growing pale as he saw Tidus stand in the doorway. Even though he couldn't see the blonde's expression, he could feel the hatred in the atmosphere.

"T-Tidus, lemme explain."

"Oh, that's even better. 'Lemme explain'…" Tidus growled, never looking back at the orange-haired man, who stood up and pulled his pants up, "…Well, 'lemme explain' you something. It's over, and you can as well go back to screwing that new toy of yours. As if I'd care."

Wakka watched as Tidus disappeared behind a corner. Soon, he could hear his front door slamming close with such force that it made the whole house tremble. He frowned sadly. He hadn't meant Tidus to find out about his new relationship like this…

Lulu reached her hand out to touch Wakka's back, but he just flinched away. She groaned and laid her back on the bed, mumbling, "…Oh, I see how it is. This probably didn't mean anything to you either."

Wakka stared hollowly, as Lulu picked up her robe from the floor and dressed it up, while walking out of the door, just like Tidus just few seconds ago.

The man with long white coat looked at Aerith, concern in his deep green eyes, "…I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm afraid that your son's cancer can't be healed." He stated seriously.

Aerith's eyes widened. She gasped for a while, before turning around and saw Sora, whose expression was just as terrified as hers. She turned back around, facing the doctor again, unable to say anything.

Sora grabbed Riku's arm, the things that had happened back in the car with the silver-haired man, fading away, replaced by pain and misery. He squeezed the older man's hand, shutting his eyes and starting to pray that he was only dreaming.

The doctor looked at Aerith then Sora. He shook his head weakly, "…If you want to go talk to him, we are taking him to one of the rooms. He'll hear everything you say, though he might not be able to answer."

Riku looked at Sora, immediately regretting his move. He felt something burn in the back of his eyes, as he saw the look on the shorter one's face. It was completely devastated and his eyes were staring into distance, while few stray tears dropped down of them. The silver-haired man tied his arms around Sora, and soon felt that his shirt was getting uncomfortably wet. Not that he really cared.

Zexion, Yuffie and Tifa walked closer to the doctor, not sure if they had heard correctly.

"H-how's he?" Yuffie asked, biting her fingernails nervously.

"He's not going to make it." The doctor said, his words hit them all like a shower of sharp knives, "…But he's in his room, if you want to talk with him…"

Aerith nodded her head, still unable to say anything. With slow steps, she started to approach the direction, where the doctor was walking.

Zexion looked at Sora, who had his head buried in Riku's shirt. He frowned sadly and glanced at Riku, who looked back at him, shaking his head a little.

Aerith was the first to step into Cloud's room. She looked at her son, who was pale and resembled more like a corpse than a living human being. She bit her lip, while walking next to the bed and leaning down a little.

"…I'm so sorry Cloud…" she said, her eyes growing wet, while she gently rubbed Cloud's cold cheek, "…I wish that… I-I wish that I would have been a better mother. I… I should have noticed that something was wrong…"

But Cloud just tiredly tilted his head towards Aerith, unable to answer. Weakly, he managed to shook his head, although it was only a small gesture, the brunette felt already much more relieved. She inhaled a deep breath, before giving Cloud a small smile.

"You're my dear son, and… you'll always be." Aerith said, "…We'll all miss you and… it really won't be the same without you… God, I don't even know what to say… I… I just hope that I could save you somehow."

The brunette woman leaned down and placed her forehead against Cloud's chest, which was covered by a white blanket. She knew that she was supposed to say farewell to her son now and… she just wasn't ready. She didn't want to let herself admit that there would be nothing that could bring Cloud back.

"Rest in peace… We'll… see you later." She said, nearing the tears. Quickly, she got up and ran out of the room, probably not wanting Cloud to see her weakness.

Cloud could only watch as his mother disappeared from his sight.

Next person, who entered the room, was Sora. His bright blue eyes widened, as he saw Cloud. His bottom lip started to tremble, but somehow he managed to keep it all inside. He made his way to his brother quietly. But when he reached his bed, he threw himself on his brother, burying his head on Cloud's stomach, gripping on the bed sheets tightly.

"…C-cloud do-don't worry!" he mumbled, not really knowing what he was saying, "…I… We'll save you! J-just don't die! We'll t-think of a way to s-save you!"

Cloud's lips curved upwards, but only a little. He wanted to tell Sora, that it was okay, he wasn't really afraid. He wanted to tell him that there was no way to save him, but he couldn't because his strength nearly gave up only by thinking about the things what might have come to him.

"Cloud… I… feel so weak. I don't know what to do if you'd leave me too… Mom wouldn't probably be able to handle it either…" Sora cried into Cloud's lap, "Y-you just can't do this to us! You can't… leave us behind… Please, I beg you, wake up!"

Sora tightened his hold on the blankets, reality soon hitting him hard across his face. Cloud was lying there, nearing the death. Yet still, he couldn't believe it was really happening. Cloud couldn't just die like that. He was strong he would fight till the bitter end, right? Maybe… for some reason he would live.

The blonde man felt his numb cheeks becoming wet. He wanted to say something, say anything… but he couldn't.

"…Cloud…" Sora sighed, finally pulling up and straightening his back, "…Y-you're the best big brother ever."

The brunette turned around and wiped his eyes to his sleeve, before walking away, through the door. But before closing it, he gave a last smile to Cloud, "…There's still someone who wants to see you."

When Sora left, Leon walked in, avoiding Cloud's eyes. Slowly, he approached his boyfriend's bed, where he was lying, barely breathing. The machines next to him beeped calmly, but besides that, there was thick silence surrounding them.

Finally, Leon kneeled down next to the bed, his eyes slightly red. A pained look was plastered on his face, as he touched Cloud's hand, before taking it into his. The other one's whole body was rather cold, which made the brunette shiver a little.

"…You're so cold." He stated, not understanding why he had said that in the first place, "…So. I guess you can't keep fighting forever. Maybe… it's merely wise for you to give up and rest. You've deserved it…"

Cloud looked at Leon with his tired eyes.

"But… you have nothing to worry about. You're such a good person, that I'm sure that the place you end up in is a hell of a lot better than this one." Leon smiled one of his rare smiles, while brushing a lock of blond hair behind Cloud's ear.

The blonde closed his eyes, unable to hold the tears pouring down from his eyes. There were so many things he wanted to say. So many things left to see. He wanted to sit up and hold Leon for the one last time, but there was not even the slightest bit of strength left in his body. All he could do, was cry.

"Don't cry Cloud." Leon mumbled, "…I'm not worthy of your feelings. You're… so pure. And all I could do was stare and watch as you withered away right in front of my eyes."

There was a moment of silence in the room. Leon glanced at Cloud's closed eyelids, squeezing the other one's hand lovingly, "…I guess there's not such things as miracles."

And that was the last thing Cloud heard.

Riku glanced at the people in front of him, before grabbing his microphone. They all looked at him, waiting him for do something. He inhaled a deep breath, before turning his eyes towards a wooden coffin, which was next to a large pit. It was covered in white and red roses.

"…This song is dedicated to Cloud, who's no longer with us." Riku said, tearing his eyes off of the coffin, "…And… While I sing this song, he'll be put to the place, where he can rest eternally. We… all will remember him forever. He was a dear friend and… to some of us, he was more than that."

Leon, who was standing behind Cloud, holding his guitar, bowed his head.

"…Life isn't fair. It has never been and will never be. But some really weird things can make us stronger…" Riku continued, "…Like this one. Cloud gave us the strength and hope we need to keep on moving forward a brighter future. We all love the way he could just make everything seem better, with only few words."

Sora, who was standing near the coffin and the place, where the coffin soon would be placed, sniffed loudly, and bit his lip.

Even if he was watching Cloud's coffin, right in front of his eyes, he still couldn't believe it. He just waited that soon the blonde would pop up somewhere, telling that it was a joke and then they'd all laugh and be happy. Maybe Sora'd yell at Cloud, because of pulling such a joke, but he'd be happy.

…But he knew that Cloud would never come back.

Suddenly Leon started to play his guitar, drawing all of the people's attention towards him. Riku sighed and brought the microphone near his lips.

(A/N: Alter Bridge – Broken Wings I do not own.)

"Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
In our souls.
Leave the peace alone
How we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
In our souls."

Riku tilted his head upwards, looking at the sky above their heads. He wanted to cry so badly, but he knew he couldn't. He had to sing this song… for Cloud. For everyone.

Sora looked down, not even trying to stop the sobs. Tidus, who was standing next to him, looked at his friend. He wanted to hug the poor brunette, but he didn't think that it would change anything. He wanted Sora to be happy, but he knew that it was too late to bring Cloud back.

He sighed, carefully avoiding Wakka's eyes, who kept glancing at him behind his drums.

"In my opinion seeing is to know
The things we hold
Are always first to go
And who's to say
We won't end up alone?"

Sora couldn't take it anymore. He launched himself on the blonde man next to him, without even really considering what he was doing. Tidus blinked few times, but hugged Sora back, letting him cry on his shoulder, like there was no tomorrow.

Riku frowned slightly and his hold around the microphone tightened. He wanted to be the one Sora was hugging… but he was now there, singing, and that was all he could do.

The rest of his band seemed to do their best too… so Riku just couldn't let the things mess up at this point.

"On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees
I'm bleeding
And it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long."

Aerith pulled out a handkerchief from her pocket. She was kind of disappointed that Cid hadn't shown up… she guessed that this was just how much he loved her. She sighed, looking at the coffin, where Cloud was lying. Even though she couldn't see him, she could imagine the picture of her dead son.

Soon, she too, started to cry.

"Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
In the same place with all I love
Mend the broken homes
Care for them they are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls."

"In my opinion seeing is to know
What you give
Will always carry you
And who's to say
We won't survive it too"

Four men walked to the coffin and lifted it up. Everyone followed their each movement, as they slowly started to lay it down on the hole. Few roses fell down on the ground, as the coffin slowly slid down the pit, the men around it holding on belts, balancing the truck's way to the bottom.

Aerith took a step forward. She closed her eyes, praying, that the place where Cloud was now, would be filled with beautiful things and there would be no such thing as suffer.

Everyone had their heads bowed down, serious look on their faces, and many of them were crying out loud.

"Set a-free all
Relying on their will
To make me all that I am
And all that I'll be
Set a-free all
Will fall between the cracks
With memories of all that I am
And all that I'll be."

Riku inhaled a deep breath, watching as Cloud's coffin slowly disappeared to the pit. But still he couldn't help but notice that Tidus was still holding Sora. His Sora. He noticed that something wet dropped down to his lips, and this time, it wasn't sweat.

Maybe it was good like this. Sora had to move one, once he was gone anyways…

When the song ended, everyone gasped for air. It all had happened so fast, that no one had barely time to realize that Cloud was already deep down in the ground.

"Rest in peace." Were the last words Riku said, before dropping the microphone on the ground and walking towards the small audience.

Sora slowly loosened his grip on his friend's shoulders and pulled away, as he saw Riku approaching him. Quickly, he wiped the tears off of his cheeks and tried to form a small smile, but failed miserably.

"Sora…" Riku stated, as he reached his target and stopped walking. He glanced at the brunette man, before looking over his shoulder at Tidus, who remained motionless. The silver-haired man sighed and pulled something out of his pocket, "…Here Sora. It's for you. Don't open it till tomorrow, or you'll regret it."

Sora frowned, looking at a letter in his hands, "…Riku, what…?"

"I love you Sora." Riku said, before walking past him and stood right in front of Tidus. He leaned towards him, quietly whispering into the blonde's ear, "…Take care of him."

"Riku! It's time to go!"

Riku spun around and saw Zexion waving his hand at him. Leon and Irvine were standing behind him, both of them glancing at the ground. The silver-haired man started to walk towards them, but suddenly a hand grabbed his wrist, making him stop his walking.

"…Riku? Where are you going?" Sora asked weakly, tilting his head to his side innocently.

Riku turned around and merely smirked, "…It's a secret."

Sora watched as the silver-haired man walked to the three men, before they started to head towards a black limousine, which was parked next to the pavement.

Riku waited that his friends had entered the car, before he stepped in. But before closing the door behind his back, he looked over his shoulder at Sora, whose expression was beyond sad and confused. Riku nodded his head, trying to convince him, that everything would be alright.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Irvine asked, as Riku sat down next to him in the big limousine.

Riku nodded, looking out of the window, his expression full of agony, "…Yeah. It's better for Sora and me if I leave. He'll never get over the things that had happened as long as I stay here. And also, my past keeps haunting me here. I just… can't stay as long as Lance's alive."

Zexion shook his head weakly, and Irvine shrugged. Leon just hmph-ed, his eyes closed and arms folded over his chest.

"And besides… I'm not the only one running." Riku added, looking at Leon, "…But sometimes, running is the only way to proceed."

The brunette man looked at Riku, before nodding his head.

Sora just stood there, not sure what he should do next. People were already starting to leave the graveyard, as the funeral eventually ended. The brunette looked at Tidus, who was standing next to him all the time, his expression as puzzled as his.

Aerith walked past the two of them, patting their shoulders quickly, before continuing walking. She was sniffing all the way towards her car, apparently expecting for Tidus and Sora to follow her.

"Sora… I think you should open that letter." Tidus said suddenly and grabbed Sora's hand, "…Do it! Now! Before it's too late!"

The smaller male just blinked, but hesitantly opened the envelope. A piece of paper dropped into his hands and he frowned.

"I'm sorry Sora. When you're reading this, I'm probably already far away. I don't know when I'll be coming back, if I ever come back… This' all too much complicated than I first thought. I love you and nothing can ever change that… Yet, there's something that keeps pulling us apart, no matter how much we try to keep this fragile thing whole.

Please, don't come after me, even if you found out where I am. I'd just end up running away again… I sound like a coward, and to be honest, I feel like one too. But there's just times, when the only choice you have left is escaping.

Tell Tidus that I told him to take good care of you. I don't want anything to happen to you, and don't feel sad because I left. He'd better keep you sane, or I'll hunt him down and I swear I'll make him regret the moment he was born.

Maybe someday, we can be together. Once we can both let go off of our pasts and move on.

Yours,

Riku."

Sora's eyes widened. Could this mean that… Riku was leaving him? Had he done something that had made Riku mad? The brunette bit his lip and looked at Tidus, who frowned. He had read the whole letter over Sora's shoulder, and could feel the shorter one's body trembling a little.

"I-I'm going after him!"

Riku, Leon, Irvine and Zexion stepped through large glass doors of a local airport. All of them had eyeglasses covering their faces, making the passer byes harder to recognize them.

Riku looked at the people in the big terminal. Every one of them had someone around them, bidding them farewells and sharing hugs. The silver-haired man sighed and shook his head. He was such an ass sometimes, and he knew that very well. Yet, then again… in the end, he and Sora would be happier this way.

Zexion placed his hand on Riku's shoulder, drawing his attention towards him, "Hey, don't worry. It's not like we can't come back when we want to."

"Yeah…" Riku agreed, trying to smile to his friends, "I know. Thank you for coming with me."

"Hey, it's no problem." Irvine slapped his back, before chuckling and continuing to walk.

Leon just shrugged, not saying anything. He hadn't said anything for a while, but it was really understandable. It wasn't easy to deal with the fact that the man he loved had died right in his arms.

Riku sighed once again, telling his legs to keep on moving towards the gates. He knew that they were already nearly missing their plane, so they had no time to stand here and think this whole thing through. There was no turning back now.

"I don't understand you though." Zexion said suddenly, when Leon and Irvine were already good way ahead, "…Are you sure you'll be able to just… leave Sora here? I mean, you love him, don't you?"

Riku nodded his head, "Yeah. But that's exactly why I have to go." He explained, starting to walk a little bit faster.

"Riku!"

The silver-haired man looked over his shoulder and grimaced.

It was Sora. And he was currently running towards him, rather angry pout on his face. Riku didn't turn around, only turned his head back forward and started walking again, ignoring the yells from Sora. Zexion frowned, and decided that maybe he shouldn't get involved in these kinds of things.

"Riku, wait damnit!" Sora screamed his lungs out, trying to reach the silver-haired man, who just fastened up his pace, "Riku!"

Riku could feel two slim arms around his waist and a warm body press against his back. He stopped walking, but didn't turn around and return the embrace. He just stood there, looking blankly into the nothingness in front of him.

"…Riku? You aren't serious… are you?" Sora asked quietly, nuzzling his nose against the taller one's back and tightening his grip around his waist, "…You're not leaving me, are you?"

But there was no reply. The people around them didn't seem to pay them any attention, and that was probably a good thing.

Eventually Riku sighed, "…I told you not to come after me."

"H-how can y-you…" Sora mumbled, trying to find his voice, which seemed to tangle in his throat, "…H-how can you tell me not t-to come af-after you! I love you Riku! I really really love you, please don't leave me!"

Riku bowed his head. He had been afraid that something like this might happen.

"…Riku, please…"

The silver-haired man grabbed the hands, which were holding his waist and shoved them away. Sora took few steps backwards, his eyes widening in shock. He could only stare, as Riku started to walk again, "…R-Riku!"

"Don't make this any harder than it already is." Was the only reply he gained, before Riku disappeared from his sight.

Sora felt his knees start to tremble, and they finally gave up, causing him to fall down on the cold floor of the gigantic airport. Some tourists, who walked past him, gave him concerned glances, before walking quickly away.

He just sat there, hoping that the earth would swallow him.

Sora inhaled a deep breath, before screaming, "Riku!"

In the airplane, Irvine and Zexion were chatting lightly, while Leon was leaning his head on the seat, his eyes closed and Riku was glancing out of the window. An awkward atmosphere surrounded them, though every one of them tried their best to ignore it.

Zexion looked at Irvine, talking lightly, "…I heard that Sephiroth already bought us apartments at New York. He told me that his good old friend Ansem is working there, since S.A. records' a big company."

Irvine nodded, "Yeh, that's what I heard too." He said, while holding his chin, "I wonder if there's any hot chicks in New York."

"Pfft, how can you think about something like at the time like this?" Zexion growled, crossing his arms behind the back of his head.

Irvine just grinned. He didn't feel like joking around, but he still tried to think positively. He patted Zexion's shoulder and chuckled, "C'mon once we get there, we'll find you a nice girl and ya can get laid. Then we can start a new life, 'kay?"

Zexion just rolled his eyes and turned to look at Riku, about to say something, but he closed his mouth suddenly. He frowned and leaned towards his former student.

"Riku, are you crying?"

The End.

Wow, finally done. I'd like to say thanks to my best friends' Aeroblast and Someday Eternity, who always has helped me if/when I need help. Also, thanks to all of you readers and reviewers, I would've never been able to finish this story without you. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Feel free to check my other stories that you can find in my profile. Also, yes there may be a sequel coming up, but I'm not sure yet. So stay tuned.

-Crimson Chain