Defender
Chapter 6: "Conversation"
Author's notes: Sorry about the super long wait. With the coming of Christmas Break, the university library (where I get my Internet) closed. I did some writing while I was gone (obviously), but I'm afraid it wasn't as much as I wanted to get done. Kinda hard to write and shop and go to parties at the same time. Heh…. Well, anyhow, here's the next instalment. Hope you all enjoy. /smile/
Comments:
Deawen98: Thank you. /smile/ Sorry it took so long.
Araz/grins/ Never heard that phrase before, but I understand you all the same. Glad you like it so much.
.oO0Oo.oO0Oo.oO0Oo.
As Karen and Amanda sat at the table late Saturday morning eating cereal, the telephone rang. It took Amanda a second to realise that both of her parents were still bed, but then she got up and dutiful picked up the receiver.
"Hello?"
"Um…Amanda?" a woman's voice responded.
"Yah?."
"Hey! This is your aunt, Elisa. Can you do me a big favour this afternoon?"
Amanda shifted her wait to her other foot. "Um, maybe. What do you want?"
"Can you baby sit Little Marcus for a few hours? I have to help Sharol clean her mother's house and Little Marcus would just be more hassle then help."
"I bet! Um…" she glanced at Karen who was stirring the Cheerios around in her milk, "I guess that'll work."
"Oh good! He won't be a problem. I'll have him fed and changed right before I bring him over. Is one o'clock fine?"
"Sure thing."
"I'll try to be back by three."
"No problem. I've nothing to do all day except homework."
Her aunt laughed. "I remember those days! Well, I better let you go so I can get ready to go."
"See you later." Amanda hung up the phone and returned to the table. "Guess what?" she asked a little too cheerily for Karen's early-Saturday tastes.
"What?"
"We get to baby sit!"
Suddenly, Karen was a little bit more awake. "When?"
"At one o'clock."
"Wow! That's…sudden."
"Oh phewy! You'll love Little Marcus. He's my cousin."
Karen's eyebrow ticked.
.oO0Oo.
Just a few minutes before one, Aunt Elisa's car rolled into the drive. Amanda's mother greeted her sister and nephew at the door.
"Hey, Elisa! What brings you here?"
"Oh, nothing much. I was just dropping Little Marcus off and then I've gotta run. Helping Sharol clean her mother's house."
Amanda's mother looked at the blonde-haired boy seated on her sister's hip. "Oh, I see," she said, hesitantly.
At that moment, Amanda turned the corner. "Hi, Aunt Elisa," she greeted. Walking calmly up to Little Marcus, she took the boy and turned to her mother to explain. "Aunt Elisa called this morning while you were still asleep. I said I'd watch him."
"Oh, I see," her mother responded, suddenly understanding. "Well, I guess I'll just let you do that, then. Thanks for bringing him, Elisa."
Amanda took the baby bag from her aunt and left her mother to finish the good-byes. Carrying the boy to her room, she sat him down on the double bed.
"Hey, Little Marcus," she cooed. "Look who's here! Who is that?" she asked, pointing to Karen.
The boy stared at the new girl. Pulling his pacifier out of his mouth, he chunked it off the bed.
Karen laughed and ran to pick up. "How old is he?" she asked.
"Um…almost a year old."
"Does he walk yet?"
"No, but if you don't watch him, he'll crawl right off the side of the bed."
"Silly boy," Karen chuckled. "Sure is cute."
"Most of the time," Amanda agreed. "Want to see what he thinks of Dora-chan?"
Karen's eyebrows rose involuntarily. For a moment, she wondered if Amanda didn't see him as a dog and wanted to introduce her nephew to canines, but then she realised that she was probably more interested in how he would respond to the man's austere personality and shiny buttons. "Um, I don't think we should try either's patience," she said with a light chuckle.
Amanda frowned. "You think my boyfriend doesn't know what to do with little kids?"
"Your boyfriend!" Karen crowed. "Since when did he ask you out?"
"Well…" Amanda put on a fake pout, "as usual, he didn't actually say anything, but he wrote it down!"
"Ha! Whatever!"
"Can you prove otherwise?" Amanda challenged.
"Can you prove that he did?"
"Well, I guess that puts us at a stalemate. But either way, I did ask him and he nodded 'yes'."
"Did not!"
"Did, too!"
"When?"
"When you went out with Aaron and left me and Dora-chan alone in my bedroom!" Amanda wiggled her fingers ominously as if she were casting a spell.
"I still don't believe you! He doesn't speak English, so how can he write it or know to nod 'yes'?"
Amanda crossed her arms. "He doesn't speak English, but he understands it! Don't you, deary?"
"Oh gag me with a silver spoon!" She rolled her eyes, but looked to make sure that Dreizehn still had his same emotionless expression.
As the girls continued to play with Little Marcus, building towers out of blocks for him to knock over, making cute little noises so that he would laugh, and giving him pony rides, the child gradually grew hungry and tired and fussy. Karen faithfully retrieved his pacifier and Amanda introduced him to as many new baby-safe things about her room that she could find. Finally, the boy's mother returned, apologised for the delay and paid her niece.
"Well, that was an experience," Karen commented after Elisa had driven away. "Maybe we should start our own Babysitter's Club."
"That had all of one customer on a semi-monthly basis? Yah, we'd pay our way through college," Amanda replied sarcastically.
"Well, we'd at least have a free drink at the café every now and then."
"Granted."
The two girls walked in silence to Amanda's room. Karen flopped down on the bed and rested her head on top of her folded arms.
"What do we do now?" she asked with a yawn.
From her seat at her desk, Amanda squirmed a little uncomfortably. "Well, can we just, kinda, talk?"
Karen's head lifted. "Uh…about what?"
"Well…"
"Am I in trouble?" Karen asked, suspicious of the hesitation in her friend's voice.
"Um…not exactly, per say." Amanda paused, selecting her words with great care.
"What'd I do?"
"It's more like…what you didn't do." She paused again and picked at a section of loose veneer on her desk, delaying the conversation as long as possible. When the veneer cracked, she took a deep breath and began. "Now…I have to commend you for the way in which you've reacted to…resent events. Most people would just fall to pieces, but you? You try to forget about it and continue living your life. And that's great. I think I've even recommended that you do that. But…the problem comes when you suddenly remember. You know?"
Karen swallowed. "Not really…."
Amanda leaned back in her chair and consulted the floor. "Well, like this morning. I mentioned that Little Marcus was my cousin and, whether you realised it or not, your mood just plummeted."
"I guess."
"Well, your expression dropped, at any rate."
"I guess I did suddenly remember Eddy," Karen admitted quietly.
Amanda nodded and continued slowly. "And there have been other times, though I don't remember many of them. Truth is, I've not really noticed, or if I did, I quickly forgot. But not Ellie. According to her, there was one time at school where we were joking and she made some comment about being your mother and you just crashed." Amanda shrugged. "Can't say I blame you. I'd probably do the same thing. But then, I don't remember the incident."
"I do," Karen said softly. "But I told her it was okay."
"Right." Amanda started gathering the eraser crumbs from various places on her desk. "That's just thing." Having collected most of the crumbs, she guided them into a neat little pile. "I know and Ellie knows that it's not okay and it really grates on her nerves when you say stuff like that. She and I have been concerned about you ever since the fire and we've talked a lot." She pinched most of the crumbs between her fingers and then let them fall in a mound on top of the remaining ones. "She has always tried to be understanding, but after awhile, I don't know, I guess she just couldn't take it anymore. She'd never say anything to you. Her conscience and sense of propriety won't let her." She ran her finger through the crumbs until they had scattered in the form of a spiral. "But it doesn't stop it from bothering her…and so she talks to me. I tell her to chill, most of the time. Other times, I just listen while she vents her frustration." She brushed the crumbs off her desk.
Finding her eraser, she started rubbing it against her desk, making new crumbs. When several long, spindly eraser strings had been made, she took another deep breath and continued, "What's really eating her is that you won't talk about it and, instead, pretend like everything is okay. However, since it's not okay, certain words or phrases remind you and crash your mood." She set the eraser aside and started pressing the crumbs back together. "She said you were getting better when you were living with your cousin, but after his second attack, well, you got worse. I didn't believe it was as bad as she said until you started living with me."
Amanda glanced up and saw that, while she had been preoccupied with her eraser, Dreizehn had risen from his place on the rug and was now seated beside Karen on the floor with one hand sympathetically resting on her arm. She noted the tears slowly running down Karen's face though the girl made no move to wipe them away in hopes that her friend wouldn't see them.
"Now, I'm not saying you're wrong or that you have to change," Amanda quickly back-peddled. "I think you're doing exceptionally well and I keep telling Ellie that. She agrees, usually, but…it still bothers her. She's always mincing around her words and double thinking everything. That day when she said that thing about being your mother, she was really kicking herself later. You didn't see it, of course, because she doesn't want to make you feel worse, but I did. She tells me over and over that she's tired of bending over backwards to help you forget."
She sighed, having quickly unloaded everything that she intended to say.
An ominous silence hung over the room. Then, with a surprisingly steady voice, Karen asked, "What am I supposed to do about it?"
"Well, I don't know." Amanda finished forming the eraser crumbs into a small ball. "I guess I just keep hearing about you from Ellie and thought you needed to see how she feels. I'm cool. Like I said, I totally commend you. But maybe…maybe if you talked to her about it and helped her see how you feel, instead of hiding it. Then maybe it'd be easier for her to cut you some slack." She tossed the ball into her pencil holder. "She is trying, but she's been trying for weeks now and she's tired."
Karen nodded slightly and silence settled on the two girls again.
"But I can't talk to her," Karen finally said, her voice a bit more shaky than before.
"Why not?"
"I don't even talk to you!"
Amanda considered that point while she rubbed her eraser over her desk some more. Quietly, she suggested, "Well, maybe that's the problem? I mean, have you talked to anyone about this?"
Realising that her voice had given her away, Karen sat up and pulled a Kleenex out of the box on the headboard. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. Shaking her head "no" she wiped her nose again.
"Well, maybe you should."
"I did talk to Aaron a little."
Amanda nodded. "That's a start." She watched her friend dash at the tears that wouldn't stop and suddenly feared that she had said too much, too soon. She stood up and started to walk towards the bed. However, when Dreizehn glared at her, a low growl sounding from the back of his throat, she stopped and stared at him in surprise.
"It's okay, Dora-chan," Karen whispered, patting his head. Then to Amanda, "Seems your boyfriend doesn't like you anymore."
Amanda smiled gently at Karen's attempted humour, but with the friend's forced smile and nearly flat tone, the joke was almost lost.
She sat down on the other side of Karen and folded her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry," she apologised. "I probably shouldn't have said anything."
"No, it's okay," Karen replied, wiping at her tears again.
Amanda pursed her lips. "I thought we said you should stop saying that."
"Yah…."
"Look, it's nearly dinner time and my folks will wonder what's wrong. Why don't I tell mom that we're going out and then we can get shakes at the café?"
Karen shrugged. "I guess so."
"And Dora-chan can come."
Her friend smiled for real this time.
.oO0Oo.
At the coffee shop, the girls got their drinks and selected a small table away from the noise and chatter in the main room. A band was playing blues and a few customers were sitting around talking quietly there, but the little table was still fairly private.
Karen sipped at her chocolate-covered-cherries shake in silence, still trying not to cry. Finally, she said, "I just wish she'd talked to me. I don't care that she talked to you or her mother, or the man on the moon, but I just wish she'd talked to me."
"I know…but she can't do that. It'd be like asking her to trip a blind man," Amanda replied softly.
"I guess so…but still!"
"Well, maybe you can tell her that, too."
"No…. If she can't talk to me, then it'd feel rude to her if I talked to her."
Amanda shrugged. "I can't help you with that one. I don't understand her well enough to say one way or the other."
Karen jammed her straw into the cup. "Kinda makes me mad!"
"You can tell her that, too."
Karen rolled her eyes. "Why don't you tell her?"
"If you want. I can kinda slip it in next time she starts complaining."
"Yah…." Karen rested her head on her palm and stared vacantly at the design on the table. The more she thought about it, the more depressed she became, and then it was hard to keep from crying. She tilted her head back and blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to stop the tears from falling.
Amanda frowned. "Hey, we weren't supposed to continue talking about that here. This is supposed to cheer you up."
Karen smiled at the irony and petted Dreizehn's head.
"How's it going with you and Aaron?" Amanda asked, hoping that he would be a safe and happy topic.
"Good. Well, mostly good."
"Only mostly?"
"Well, he, himself, is good. He's still a little pompous and he likes guy movies, but oh well. I can live with that. What's bad is that I found another note in his car."
Amanda's eyebrows furrowed. "A note? Like the one in your locker?"
"Exactly," Karen answered with a nod. "It had four words this time: 'I'm still watching you.' And what's worse is that Aaron's car had been locked."
"Man! This guy is dangerous!"
Karen nodded. "And I'm pretty certain that it's Edward…which is scary."
"I'm sorry."
"Yah. But it can't be helped. That's just the way life is—it sucks. What I can't figure, though, is why he's even bothering to leave notes."
"Wow!" Amanda exclaimed. "That's a good question! I guess he doesn't want you to feel safe, maybe? The first note lets you know that he can get into your school and that locks won't keep him out, and the second one lets you know that he's following you around and knows about your boyfriend."
"No, if he didn't want me to feel safe, he'd not have given me a home in his house and he'd be targeting Dora-chan instead of Aaron."
"Perhaps," Amanda agreed, sipping her shake. "Then again, you didn't know about him then and do now, so giving you false security won't work. He might be reasoning that it would be better, now, to try to scare you. As for Dora-chan…he already tried to take him out, but my hansom man outwitted him!"
"You've really got to stop that," Karen commented.
"Stop what?" Amanda asked with false innocence.
"Talking about him as if you two were a couple. It's kinda weird…and kinky."
"Kinky! Don't be crazy! There's nothing wrong with a girl getting silly over a hot guy who lives in her house, no less."
Karen rolled her eyes. "Well, I don't know what Edward's intentions with the notes are, but I wish he'd quit."
"Indeed!" Amanda agreed.
.oO0Oo.
That night, several hours after the two girls had gone to bed, Dreizehn started awake. A muffled sound drifted to his canine ears. Alert, he listened a little longer until he decided that it was coming from Amanda's room. Placing a paw against the door, he gently pushed it open and walked quietly into the room. No one was there except the two sleep girls and all was quiet.
Standing tense and alert, he surveyed the room again, sniffing the air for any unusual scents. Then the sound came again—a short, almost choked sob from Karen's side of the bed. Walking over to her, he nudged her shoulder with his nose. She turned to him and ran her hand from his forehead, down the length on his muzzle.
"Hi," she whispered.
He licked at the tears that ran down her nose, which caused her to cry more. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand and sat up. Taking the dog's head in both hands, she held it close to her own. When she closed her eyes, all she could envision was the uniform German soldier with long dark hair and fierce eyes that became compassionate when she was distressed.
Dreizehn placed a hand tentatively on her shoulder.
"At least you still love me," she whispered.
.oO0Oo.oO0Oo.oO0Oo.
Last notes/shakes head/ Is it not amazing how quickly a great day can turn into a terrible day? I had a talk with my brother like that the other week. Totally different topic, but DANG those kinds of "conversations" are tough on the listener!