Eldor pulled back from their embrace only just enough to see Finduilas's face in the dying daylight. The stars rapidly appearing in the sky were mirrored in his eyes which matched the sea, whereas his hair matched the sand. "Is it really you or have i dreamed you into reality?" he asked unable to understand anything but that he was holding the woman who had haunted him for years.
"It is me; unless i, too, have dreamed you into reality," she said wearing the first genuine smile since the day she met Denethor. "I thought i would never see you again, Eldor."
"Every night i have walked this shore in hopes that by some chance i would see you, even just glimpse you from afar. I never thought i would have the chance to hold you again, no matter how i hoped. How can this be?" He did not truly care about the answer, she was here again and the gods had finally answered his many entreaties. He often thought that even if he did see her again, she would not be so receptive, but this was more than he had dreamed.
Finduilas did not respond, she just held onto him, drawing a comfort she had not experienced since leaving her home. "Eldor... all this time?"
"Of course, Finduilas. I promised you that i would always be here. Do you remember? When you came to say goodbye to me, i told you that if you returned in the day i would be in the stables, in the night, on the beach. And so i have been, every day, every night." Eldor was willing himself not to give in and take the kiss he wanted so much, not until he knew for certain that Finduilas wanted it as much.
He did not have to wait long to find out. Finduilas pulled herself closer to him again, nestling her forehead against his shoulder and breathing in his scent. So many old memories were wrapped up in that moment that she found herself unable to believe that it had been seven years since she last saw him. It all felt just as it did then, she felt comfortable and secure with Eldor. She felt as though she was the most beautiful woman in the world when he held her. In that time, Finduilas did not even recall that Denethor existed and she was a married woman. She met his gaze once again and moved forward, closing the slight gap between them and losing herself entirely in his kiss.
That night Finduilas never went back inside to her fine chambers. Instead she laid on the beach beside Eldor as together they watched the moon make it's way across the sky. As the hours wore on the moon set and they grew quiet and content. As the sky was beginning to grow lighter, Eldor found that Finduilas had fallen asleep there in his arms and he was powerless to wake her and end this dream come true. He feared what would happen when the sun rose again and retook control of the emotions that the moon had reigned over through the night.
Eldor's fears were baseless though. The moon had reawakened feelings in Finduilas that she had long hidden and denied, hiding them again would take much, much more work. As she slept, Finduilas dreamed of their meeting.
It had been the spring of 2975. It was rare that ladies of the house went riding alone and rarer still that a lady would walk her own horse to the stables, but Finduilas was a rare woman. Though she excelled in needlework, she was very often found in the library rather than in her sewing room. On fine spring days, when the weather was not yet warm enough to walk in the water, she often went riding, though she preferred to ride on her own. Most of the house had grown used to her independent flair, knowing full well that her brother was much the same and that they had both acquired it from their mother.
She walked her horse into his stall and went outside to pull up that handful of clover she saw by the door. In return for it she received a big, messy horse-kiss that made her laugh aloud. Her laughter startled the young man who was supposed to be tending to his lords' horses. He jumped to his feet, dropping the book about Westernesse he had been so ensconced in. Finduilas smiled gently to the man who looked tense. "My greetings," she said walking over to him. "I am Finduilas."
"Aye... i-i know," he said with an unsure bow. Her sweet laughter only made him more nervous.
"You do not have to be withdrawn with me. I am too quiet myself for others to be so also," she said with smile that seemed to belie her words. Instantly, Eldor began to feel much more comfortable and she sensed it. "You were reading something?" she asked conversationally.
Again he seemed to grow tense. "Yes, my lady," was all he said in a small voice.
Finduilas could tell that this man was one who had served others all of his life and feared to displease to the point that he was ashamed to have a life of his own. She could understand, for she too was compliant, never wanting to see others unhappy. "I very much enjoy reading as well," she said, hoping to put his fears to rest that she would disapprove; after all, there was no one else in the stable and all the horses seemed well tended.
There was a slight sparkle in his eyes as he turned to pick up the book, rather sorry that he had treated it so poorly. Books were quite a commodity for a man of his rank, as was the ability to read in itself. The stall he had been sitting in seemed to be an office of sorts, it had no door so clearly no horses were kept there, the hay was rather worn, giving the impression that it might serve as this man's bed, though he was well-kempt and did not look like an ordinary stable-boy.
"May i rest here for a moment?" Finduilas asked. Something in her wanted an excuse to sit with this man a little longer. He had certainly piqued her curiosity.
He merely nodded. Something in him dearly wanted this lady to stay a little longer, though he did not dare say it. He was having trouble saying much of anything really and was more than a little surprised when she sat down on the hay pile. She seemed so unpretentious, so... real.
"Of what were you reading?" she asked, drawing him from his daze.
"Westernesse," he answered automatically.
From there they spend nearly the entire evening talking of books they had read and places they had dreamed of. Eldor said he once dreamed that he was in Lothlorien, the former home of Amroth, and Finduilas was most interested in what the Elven realm had looked like in his dreams. She herself had once dreamed of Mithlond, a forested inlet of the sea at which stood a tall, beautiful tower. It was not until years later that she had read of the land of Círdan, described just as it had been in the dream that she'd had several times since her childhood.
The next day Finduilas came back to the stables, eager to see Eldor again and talk more with him. Every day she came to the stables, sometimes early, sometimes late, sometimes for hours, sometimes just to say hello when she had a moment. It was just that way for a year, and every time Finduilas departed again, Eldor cursed himself for not having the bravery to tell her that he loved her. Every night as she lay in bed, Finduilas promised herself that when she saw Eldor the next day she would finally confess her love to him.
The year passed and spring came again, and with it came a delegation from Minas Tirith. Through the winter, Finduilas had started to a grow a little downhearted. For as much as she knew she loved Eldor, never once had he said anything of the like to her, nor had he ever shown any affection beyond the friendly and pleasant. When she was introduced to the utterly charming warrior and Steward's heir Denethor a shadow of question fell on her heart. If Eldor did not love her as she did him, she felt she could not remain in Dol Amroth, so near to him, yet so very far. She also knew that her love for him would never be considered appropriate and even her dear brother had grown suspicious.
After a three week stay Denethor suddenly made an offer to Adrahil for his daughter's hand and both father and daughter accepted. Everyone in Dol Amroth was amazed by the news, if not terribly sorry that their beloved princess was to be moving so far so soon, since they were to leave at week's end. For the next three days Finduilas did not go to see Eldor, her friend Mithrellas kept her busy with packing and planning, though she did not seem overly fond of Lord Denethor herself.
Finduilas waited until the night before they were to leave to go to Eldor. She was doubtful that he would even be awake, no one else in her home was. Eldor was awake though. He was trying to read and failing miserably, he kept thinking of the rumor he'd heard that Finduilas was to marry that pompous Lord Denethor who had lectured him on how to care for his horse when he arrived. That was impossible though, how could his gentle, caring Fin' ever see anything in that overbearing, distrusting man? He was thrilled to no end that the arrogant bastard would be gone on the morrow, such behavior was not the way of the lords of Dol Amroth.
Eldor marked the page he was fruitlessly reading and rose when he heard the stable door creak open, a sound that over the last year had caused his heart to beat faster in hope that it was the beautiful lady Finduilas come to call. He smiled when he saw her come in, but it quickly faded as she was not smiling at all. "My Lady Fin'," as he had come to call her, "what troubles you?" he asked.
Often when something was troubling her she would hold him and cradle her head against his shoulder, but she did not this time. "Have you not heard, Eldor?" she said, her voice sounding unnaturally bitter for such a gentle woman. "I am no longer your lady, but Lord Denethor's."
It was a blow to Eldor's heart to hear it from her. He could not keep the hurt from showing in his eyes as agony spread through him. "Gods... Denethor?" he whispered, his voice shaking against his will. "Is this why they ordered a carriage ready in the morning?"
"Yes," she said, her own voice trembling fiercely. "I will be leaving with him. I am g-going to l-live in... Eldor!" she cried, breaking down, "i do not want to leave you."
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. Oh, but he knew that had he just admitted that he loved her sooner this would not be happening. Seeing in her tears that she too loved him was a deep wound to Eldor. And yet, somehow, the words still stuck in his throat. Now she was to go to the great White City, and, though he could not imagine a life so far from the sea, he'd heard that it was a real wonder. The simple thought that he might never see her again frightened him so much though. "Finduilas...," he started, pulling back slightly and sounding as nervous as the day he met her. "I must tell you, if not now than never, but i have fallen in love with you. I know it is wrong of me, that is why i have not spoken of this to you until now. But i just could not see you go without telling you this. I may never have another chance, and if not then i should regret it until the end of my days. I am sorry if i should not have said -"
Finduilas's kiss stopped his words instantly, but for all the intensity of it, it was short lived, for her tears broke anew. "Eldor," she sobbed, "could you not have told me but a week ago! I had waited desperately for you to say those words to me and when you did not i thought that i... that i was the only one of us who loved and feared it to say."
"Finduilas... you... you mean to say that -" he stuttered.
"I love you, Eldor, yes i mean to say that. I have loved you, this past year, as i love the very sea. Only i, too, was afraid to tell you so."
"Oh, gods, Fin'... do not go. Do not go with him, please!" He held her tightly, as if to keep her with him forever.
She shook her sadly though. "I must now. I can not turn back on this, everyone has worked very hard that i could go so suddenly, and my father... he is so happy that i will be well cared for. Everyone is so excited, i can not disappoint them, it is my duty to them."
Eldor did understand, though his heart was broken. He held Fin' for a long time, wondering if he would see her again. He knew he had to be brave, in atonement for the cowardice he had shown all year since meeting her. "Finduilas," he said after a long while, his voice sounding as though he had not spoken in years, "i will be here, if ever you return, by day or by night. If you return in the day, you will find me here in the stables, if by night, you will find me by the sea. This is my pledge to you, and i swear to live true to this until my days are ended."
Finduilas said nothing, her heart as broken as Eldor's. She kissed him for what she was sure would be the last time, then hurried away without another glance. She wanted to keep the memory of their year unmarred. Seven years later, that memory was still untarnished and now, as she slept soundly in Eldor's arms, it was brighter than ever before.
ooo
I know this chapter is really long and still contains nothing about lil Fara', i promise that will be rectified next chapter. I also (hopefully) promise that the next chapter won't take me this long to get posted. I did pretty much no writing over the long weekend and my mom went into the hospital on monday night, so i've been a little backlogged, though everything is ok.
I almost wanted to post this chapter as a one-shot of its own, but i felt that this relationship needed a proper explanation, story-wise.
linda: Aragorn has enough remorse to fill a sea, trouble is the poor guy keeps directing it inward and moving forward.
Elenhin: I keep not giving you Fara' and i am sorry for it, but i promise he will feature heavily next time! I would love to see them slay sea-monsters together, too.
irene:Everybody wants more Faramir. I guess i haven't given much in the way ofvisuals on the little guy, perhaps i can do something about that.
steelelf: Don't feel dense, i made that ending a little confusing on purpose. And no, i can not stand the pathetic Arwen that usually features in fan-fic, yet she isn't about to go riding all over Middle-earth and stealing people's well established roles either :)