Ginny's POV

wondering

I am so confused. Hermione's my best friend. I mean, ever!

Luna's sweet, and once told me she was bisexual. I thought she was trying to give me a hint at that time. Just me, Luna and a couple of butterbeers on a lonely place I found in my third year. We were a bit tipsy, and she told me I looked 'stunning as allways'. I smirked and kissed her cheek. She blushed and we cutteled together and then fell asleep. Normally, that woulden't have been much awkward for me becuse I do that stuff with a lot of my friends, I mean, it's not like I mean it that way or anything?

But I just remember I woke up a couple of hours later, and had a terrible guilt - feeling in my stomeache? And not to Harry, though I promised to see him like half an hour before, no, to Hermione. My beloved Hermione. So I got up, excused myself and went straight to her. I didn't even bother to tell Harry at that time.

Hermione was glad to see me. But when I was with her, and she took my hand, I suddenly felt terrrible that I just ditched Luna? I mean, what if she thought I didn't approve of her being bi?

No she woulden't think that, I stayed, and I'm glad she confided in me?

Well, to come to my present, things haven't run excatly smoothly. Harry's sweet. Really! But, we're drifting apart I think, we aren't as attracted to eachother as we used to be. We're still very good friends, and I love him dearly, as a brother that I.. okay, ewww... But I love him as I'd love a very close friend. That I make out with. And cuttle. and- oh, you get the picture... But we've started to just, be more together with our friends, than with eachother, and we both know it. We just keep the other part becuse it's... Easy. Normal. Stable. The way things should be.

Someday we'll have to realise the truth. Just.. just not now. I'm worried. I've been hanging a lot out with Luna these past couple of weeks, I feel like I've been neglegting Hermione. I think she's noticed too. She's been depressed I think. I'm just sad that she diddn't just tell me what was wrong. When I see her in the librery it isn't the same as it used to be. I mean, We really DO have to study, we can't have fun as we started just to do. We both have important exams, and want to get good grades.

Then there's the dreams. They .. well.. I don't find them gross or anything in that line of thought,though someting sometimes tell me I should,but I've been having this dream that I'm lying in my bed, kissing Harry, and truly hating it. Then theres a pop - noise all of a sudden, I close my eyes, and when I open them again, Harry dissapered, and have been replaced by Hermione? So now Hermione is lying on top of me, kissing me, her hands going up my shirt, andme moaning like I've never felt so good in my entire life, and my hands working on her skirt. Then as we're - ahem - enjoying everyting the most, the door slams open, and Luna bursts in screaming "I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" and then I wake up.

It's pretty graphic.And what annoys me the most is... I like that dream. In Binns class, instead of hearing what we're being told, I just sat, daydreaming of what it might feel like to be kissing Hermione. Would it feel like my dream? That good?

And sometimes, the dream is reversed, me 'being' with Luna, and Hermione comes in and sobs her eyes out. I sometimes wonder if I'm a lesbian too. Or a bisexual, more like it. I mean boys... boys are nice. And some even drool - worthy. But if Hermione can turn me on? Best not to .. well.. continue that train of thought. Yes, I belive that woud be a bad idea. Definatly so.

I've come to a conclusion today. Well... not today, a long time ago, I'm just kinda... scared. The heart of a lion? HAH! The Weasley name isn't working the way it's supposed to. On me anyway, well... Percy hasn't excatly been working the Weasley name, but all my other brothers are brave. Very brave, to say the least.

Getting off track! The conclusion! I'm... I'm going to ask Hermione if she's ever had... sexual dreams about anyone of the same sex. I hope she'll drag on and on about how all have those sorts of dreams. Just to make sure.

Besides that I'm planning on a girls day. Me, Hermione and Luna. I'm sure we'll all enjoy it! My two best friends. That I'm flirting with. And .. Okay, just a girls day, maybe a small party, the RoR, with some butterbeers, and just hang out with and talk. I mean, really talk. You know that feeling when you're alone with someone you can't excatly talk talk becuse you're worried things'll get too awkward to handle? But as soon as theres a third person, it's suddenly okay? Come to think of it, I allmost only kiss Hermione on the mouth when theres people around us. If we're alone, I only kiss her cheek. It's so rare that she kisses me. Maybe she thinks she's too awkward. or rather, I know she does. Once she tried to kiss my cheek, and I got her nose in my eye. From then on, I was the one to kiss her instead. I don't know where I got my confidence. Though most people thinks I've got more selfesteem, then I really do. I don't know why. I'm just comfortable in my own body, nothing more, nothing less. Some thinks I'm bragging about my looks, though I'm only like ordinary looking.

Well. They can think what ever they like. But it's like only Hermione knows that I've got a lack of confidence, like most people, too. Sometimes though, I feel Luna knows me better then anyone. But then I think that Hermione and me have just been so much together, that we've a bond that can't just be shrugged away. We have a deeper connection. We've even talked about it. And we figured that it's natural when we'd been in danger, and then started to connect in middle of it all.

But Luna.. I've connected with her too. She was the only person after The Chamber incident that was willing to talk with me. Alone. When the Trio was out and had fun, they left me alone, I don't blame them eigther. Ron didn't want to be bothered with his tag - along little sister. Harry must've thought I was a bit creepy, and Hermione has just allways been sweet towards me, but Luna liked me, for just being me. And that means something. It really does. People still talks behind my back, and send me those looks that tells me they havn't forgotten when I was influenced by Riddle. Some still thinks I'm the Heir of Slytherin, or something, that I just messed around with the Dark Arts for the heck of it. Then again, they can't think what they want to, 'cause I got my 'Mione and my Looney, and of course my Scar - boy, what more can a girl ask for?

Sooo? What do you think? Could I do better? Am I brilliant? Tell me your oppinion. I'll update again when I've got 3-5 reviews for this chapter. Else I'll just have to come up with a better idea I think :S-

Well, review, and thanks for reading!