It had been ten days since Faramir pulled his half-brother out of the river, ten days that he had been doing everything he could to keep Boromir alive. So far, the work had been rather less than rewarding. It was on that tenth day that Faramir was finally able to break the fever and the Captain General of Gondor, for the first time in a long time, had fallen into a natural, restful, healing sleep. That much was a relief to Faramir who himself had been going without rest and he lay down beside Boromir to, hopefully, get his own sleep.
Faramir woke sometime in the night to find Boromir sitting up and drinking deeply from an earthenware pitcher. For a moment, he was so entirely relieved to see his brother up and doing things for himself again that he nearly wept. He would have done had it not been so comical to see the way his poor brother tried to get his mouth around the spout of the pitcher but ended up pouring most of it on himself anyway. "Your manners are really impeccable," Faramir said, straining to keep his voice from cracking.
"I was hoping that would be the first thing I heard when I finally regained my senses," Boromir said and there was no doubt, Faramir had indeed gotten his big brother back. They embraced tightly, but Boromir pulled back hastily. "We are in Henneth Annûn?" he asked and Faramir nodded. "Perfect. Send word to Minas Tirith, Osgiliath, and Cair Andros, have them send as many troops as they can spare, have them assemble here."
Faramir's happiness immediately vanished. His brother was talking madness and he knew this to be a possible side effect of the fever; though Boromir seemed fine now, it appeared he was still mentally uneven.
"Faramir, do not give me that look. I know exactly what I am saying. Just have it done, quickly. We have a war to win," Boromir said with a strange smile.
"Have a bit more water, Bor'. I will fetch you something edible," Faramir said, attempting to pretend he hadn't heard anything Boromir said.
"I will do it myself, but either way, I am leading a march on the Black Gate to end this once and for all," Boromir declared more than threatened.
"To end what, your own life?" Faramir said in exasperation. He had spent so long trying to help his brother get better, and now this was just unacceptable to him.
"To end Sauron, Faramir. Come with me, we can do it now, we can win," Boromir said in a whisper, reaching inside his shirt. Boromir suddenly became alarmed.
"It is not there," Faramir said evenly. Valar! He had so wished this would not happen.
Boromir's stare was now leveled directly at him. "You took it for yourself!" he shouted. "Give it back to me; you have no right to use it!"
Faramir just shook his head. "I do not have it, Boromir, and none of us has the right to use it. I let Frodo take it back."
Boromir's anger was for a moment turned to incomprehension. "Frodo?" he asked as if the name sounded familiar but he could not place it.
"The Hobbit, the one we all swore to protect," Faramir said.
The change about Boromir's countenance was profound as he slowly remembered what had happened and as he saw just what he had done, for the first time now that he realized the Ring was not in his possession and nor was he in it's. For a long time he sat silent, numb, statue like, before he said very quietly, "I broke my oath, I betrayed my word." He looked over at Faramir, nothing at all showing in his eyes, and asked, "how long have you known this?"
"Since four days after I brought you here. I had just determined that I would have to take it myself because I had no way of knowing that anyone else was… able to. If Frodo and Sam had not come just then…."
"And how long has it been since then?" Boromir asked, a slight edge creeping into his tone.
"Six days now," Faramir replied.
"Ten days? You let me lay here in his cave for ten days, six of which you knew what I had done. Why am I still alive?" Boromir demanded.
Faramir now looked more concerned than before. "You are alive because I would not give up on you," he said adamantly.
"You had no right! No right!" Boromir shouted as he broke down. "I failed; in the worst way that I could… you had no right to save my life like that!"
"Boromir, I could not -"
"Go away!" the man wept. "You do not know what I have done… when I swore to protect the Ring-bearer, I meant more than what I said. I meant your father, too, for I recognized the Ring of Barahir, and I knew… but I have failed absolutely. Leave me alone."
"Not to me -" Faramir started to say.
"Did I not ask to be left alone? Can I not even have that dignity? No, you are right; I have not shown myself worthy of it. If you are wise, you will leave me here, though. I cannot go home."
"Well, in all honesty, I had planned for you to stay here. It will be safer for you here, especially now that you are alert, and you really cannot fight in your condition," Faramir said, though he felt terribly guilty about it.
"How bad is it?" Boromir asked quietly.
Faramir smiled slightly. "It's gotten much better in the last few days. I had really thought you were lost for a while. At least, the infection is cleared up and now you are -"
"I meant the War."
Faramir just shook his head. "I do not know. All that we have seen from here has not given any good signs."
"Captain!" called a voice softly from without the recess. Boromir, nearest the curtain, moved to draw it aside. "Captain, I – gods! Lord Boromir!" The man moved to kneel at once.
"Skip it, Anborn. I am not in any… official capacity right now," Boromir said rather bitterly.
"Captain, I have just had word of trouble on the home front. We are needed and commanded to come at once," Anborn said to his Captain.
"I have kept you out far too much, Anborn, and I apologize for it. I care rather little who commands what, are the people in need?" Faramir asked.
"They are, sir, desperately," the Ranger replied.
"Then we leave in the morning. Take your rest and I shall see to preparations." Faramir rose and stepped over his brother.
Boromir reached up and caught his hand. "My sword and shield," he said.
"They were brought as well," Faramir nodded.
"Bring me them, and armor if any is spare," Boromir said.
Faramir refused though, saying, "you are not in the condition. You must rest here."
"Faramir, damn you if you so much as attempt to stop me from this!" Boromir said forcefully but very evenly.
"You think you will try to regain your honor by swinging steel? You never lost it, Boromir, not to a force like that. Honor is not found in one's actions so much as in how one reacts to one's actions," Faramir said, rather channeling his grandfather's words.
"That is fine for you to say, all very easy, but were you tempted by it until you were blinded and no longer yourself?" Boromir asked, again sounding very bitter with himself.
"No, I was not," Faramir said honestly. "I was too busy trying to save my brother's life to be concerned with the Ring."
"You should not have been. If you really believe all that and refuse to have me go with you, than at least do me a small favor," Boromir said.
"I would do anything in my power for my brother," Faramir said.
"Take the Horn to my father and tell him that I am dead. I do not intend to return to Minas Tirith," Boromir said with his eyes shut, almost as if he was trying to burn the memory of the White City into his mind.
"I can not do such a thing, Boromir, you know that," Faramir said.
"No, likely my father will have you hanged if you do. Then send another," he said absently.
"I will not," Faramir said flatly. "I bear no love for Denethor, but I will not tell a father that he has lost his son if it is not so. I know the pain my own father bore, I shall not do that to another. And frankly, what honor is there in running away?"
"It would be easier than having to stand there in the Hall and hear my banishment pronounced. Do you have no pity for me?" Boromir said, his throat constricting at the thought of never seeing his beloved White City again.
"No, I reserve my pity for the piteous," Faramir said straightforwardly. "It is certainly not for the strong and noble, nor for the worthy."
"Noble and worthy," Boromir laughed humorlessly. "Do you know what one of the last things I remember is? Those two younger Hobbits, I watched them trying their all to fight back against some kind of hybrid orcs as I reached for one of boats. I meant to get away immediately and bring it to my father. I do not know what ever happened to those innocent little ones, but I have never known orcs to take prisoners. If they are dead, it is because of me."
Faramir looked deeply into his brother's eyes and saw in him the need for redemption, if only for his own peace. He knew too that Boromir lived to fight and that it would be more of an injustice to force him to rest. In the end, Faramir relented and allowed Boromir to go with his Rangers to Cair Andros, then across the river and on to Osgiliath.
ooo
grumpy: Yes, Aragorn was a slight bit out of it there. Do the Twins not have a great habit of turning up just when they are needed? A lot like Gandalf in fact.
linda: Heheh... well, you shall have to keep on reading to see what happens next i suppose.
steelelf: Killed who? Now when did i ever kill off... well... I should be tired too, 4:00 in the morning, don't know how i am managing this at the moment. What's going on? Oh, nothing much, did a bit of cleaning, had dinner, watched a movie... Oh, you mean in the story!
Cataclysmic: I shall be happy to hear, or read, as it were, whatever thoughts you might have about the rest of the "Chaos" series as well.
Elenhin: Think Bor' needs those hugs yet? I can definitely understand the stress of moving heavy objects. I tend to play the weak female when it comes to those things, it's a defense mechanism i guess. Anyway, the War is not won, and so i wouldn't count anyone a "survivor" just yet. I like to keep everyone wondering, even myself sometimes. I thought it wouldbe interesting to see how Boromir reacts though, and it think it might be a good thing indeed that he has Faramir to talk some sense into him.