This is a first. I really don't care what you think, and I really don't care if you review. Flame if you want, they will be in turn shoved up your... ah well I need to be nice. Any who, Lizzie McGuire belongs to Disney and all the usual shiznit. Safe Place belongs to Staind, and I guess I could have asked for permission before I used it, but oh well. The only thing I own is Shane, even though he says otherwise. MEN LOL! On with the flow.
Another day inside my world
I'm married to you and this road.
A road that never lets me sleep .
So theres no way to escape the
demons I am forced to keep.
My eyes opened slowly. These days I didn't have a reason to hurry up and get to school. Sure I had the highest GPA out of my class and most of the other surrounding schools. What did that matter. I have my friends; Lizzie, Miranda, Larry, Ethan, among others. No one has a bad thing to say about me, In fact, I have girls swooning over me on a daily basis. The only problem was the one girl I want doesn't want me.
"David," A voice rang from downstairs. "Lizzie called, she'll be here any minute to pick you up. She wants you to be ready, or she'll make you go to school in your boxers if thats what you wear. I really like that girl! Why can't you bring someone home like her?" His mother rambled on.
'I would if I could' I thought as I pulled on the closest pair of clean pants.
And then I find you here.
Through your eyes
Everything's clear
And I'm home
Inside your arms,
But I'm alone for now
"Why are you so upset lately Gordy? Is it because of Lexi? If it is tell me and I'll put her out." Lizzie joked trying to get me to fess up. Her blond hair falling in her eyes no matter how many times she pulled it behind her ear. Those eyes, were they more blue, or were they more green? I could stare on for hours trying to find the answer. Those eyes were so welcoming, so comforting. Finally I snaped out of it.
"How many times have I asked you to quit calling me that, and no I'm not upset because of Lexi. I broke up with her. I just..." And I was inturrupted by Shanes lips on Lizzies. "I don't know if you can hear me over there or not, but I'm going to class.
I ran into Miranda on the way to class of course she was doing the same thing Liz was doing, which left me wondering If I was the only person not attached at the toungue.
"Sorry Gordo, we didn't see you coming." Miranda chirped catching her breath.
"Yeah, we were just catching up." Larry added breathlessly.
"From what? The short separation from the car to you lockers? I'd hate to see you when you're separated over night." I laughed at their reddened faces.
"Well, I'm embarrassed enough and it isn't even geometry yet. I'll see you guys at break." Mirandas kisses Larrys cheek and walks off.
"Hey man, whats on your mind? You get all flustered when..." Larry started. Then realized Gordo wasn't even listening. He stared down the hall to see what Gordo was entraced with.
"Wish you would have said something before Shane did huh." Larry asked breaking the silence that had fallen.
"Yeah." Then I realized I had admitted to it without realizing that I had. I gave up and continued my pathetic confession, "What can I do about it though. She's happy and I wouldn't ruin that for her. I missed my chance, that's all." With that we said our good byes and headed for class.
I mean the best
with what I say.
It doesn't always
sound that way
I never learned to
Work things out cause
In my family all we
Ever seem to do is shout
"Sorry about earlier Gordo, I'm trying to break Shane from that." Lizzie said dreamily.
"Look, Liz, I get it. You love him, he loves you. Your doing normal couple things, the same things Larry and Miranda are doing. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I said before Lizzie could add on about how great Shane is.
'I just wish that I could be the one you do those things with.'
"Now that I know that you're no mad, Shane's cousin-"
"No Liz, no charity dates."
"It's not a charity date Gordo! If you let me finish."
"Finish, all you're going to say is how great Shane is, and invite me over to his ranch to meet his cousin, and go for horse-back ride and picnic. No thanks! I can get a date by myself! Even if I couldn't, I wouldn't want a date with a rednecks, hick cousin." I said really harsh and really rude.
"Fine, just... FINE! If thats how you feel." with that she ran off.
"Wait! Liz! I didn't mean that!" I yelled after her, but it didn't do any good.
"I'll tell her you apologized, but that doesn't mean she'll date you. I know you like her, and if I knew that she wanted to be with you, I wouldn't stand in her way. Just please, don't take it out on her if your mad at me." Shane told me before he went to find Liz.
'Great, just great. I've pissed Liz off, and Shane turns out to be a decent guy.' With that thought, I ran off to catch Larry to bring me home.
But then I find you here
Through your eyes,
everythings clear
And I'm home
inside your arms,
but I'm alone for now.
"What, a little argument is going to have you walking home? You know me better than that. Besides, Larry hightailed it to Mirandas, her parents aren't home." Lizzie said to catch my attention as I ran by.
"Liz, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." I said looking back into those blue-green eyes.
"I know you didn't, and besides your still me bud."
We were heading towards my house, and those words kept repeating themselves in my head. "Your still my bud", "My bud". Is that all I was ever going to be? I couldn't take it any more, I was going to go insane.
"Liz, pull over for a sec."
"Why?"
"Because, I need to tell you something."
"Okay." She said a little hesitant.
"Alright Liz, I dont know where to start."
"Start what? Whats going on?" Lizzie asked worried.
Then I went for it. Her innocence pulled me in. Right in front of Foaming Faucets. I kissed Lizzie McGuire. Shane Pavelkas girlfriend. Oh yeah, Shane. I closed my eyes, pulled away, and said, "Well, now you know. Nothing serious, just that I love you, I always have. I've always protected you even when we were in the second grade, and everone made fun of you because your front teeth were missing and you talked with a lisp. I thought you were so cute, and perfect the way you were, and you just wanted to be like the balerinas on T.V. I've loved you from then, from Ronnie Jacobs, the jerk I wanted to kill for making you cry and think that you weren't beautiful, smart, and funny. I've protected you from the sinister bitch Kate, who thought that her roses didn't smell like poo-poo. All I ask from you right now, is that you don't turn away from me."
"Okay." she said and started driving again.
There was silence the rest of the way to my house. Except for the voice in my head that kept telling how I blew it and now I wasn't even going to get my chance. When we pulled into the drive, Liz turned to me. "Can we talk about this inside?"
"Sure." I knew what was coming. She was going to tell me how much she loves Shane and how she cares for me as a friend, but doesn't see it going any further.
I unlocked the door and let Lizzie in. My parents weren't home. They had their normal patients, then tonight they had their group marriage counseling session. Which with the phsycos that they have could last for hours. there has been days when they didn't get home until 4 or even 5. So I knew that no one was here to witness my demise.
I shut the door and headed towards the kitchen. I turned to ask Liz if she wanted someting to drink and thats when she tackled me to the floor placing kisses all over my neck and tugging at my shirt as if it were on fire and she needed to get it off of me quick.
"Liz, LIZ! what are you doing?"
"What I should have done a long time ago. Gordo, I don't think I've loved near as long as you have loved me, but I do know that I do love you, and not just as a friend. I have for a little while. I tried to ignore it, but I can't especially when I know that you feel the same way as I do. I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. I know what I'm doing Gordo. Now the question is, do you know what you're doing?"
"Yeah I do. I love you Elizabeth Brooke McGuire. Now kiss me and tell me you love me too."
Lizzie finally suceeded in getting my shirt off and, I was working on the hook of her bra, kissing, caressing, and massaging her in all the places she called for it. Soon we had clothes all over the livingroom and kitchen when Lizzie got up and ran upstairs. I chased her around the house buck naked and we wound up in my room.
She was laying on my bed with a look in her eyes I've never seen before. She sat up and kissed me as I neared her. She pulled me down with her and positioned me on top of her. I looked in her eyes and searched for her willingness and dove in with a nod of her head. She winced a little at first.
"Liz, you change your mind?"
"No, I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
I kept going at a slow speed until Lizzie looked comfortable and seemed to be feeling good then I picked up the pace. Her moans turned me on quicker than I had imagined, and soon we were both breathing heavy, kissing each other. I was playing with her nice firm boob and drifted off to sleep with my arms wraped around her.
And when I try to sleep
The drugs I take are killing me
I think of you to ease my pain
but your so far
"Honestly David, I know that your a 17 year old boy and sometimes you let the little head do the thinking that the big one should, but having your clothes all over the house. I think thats taking it too far. Now before you get up, let me out of the room, because I have a feeling that your naked under there." Mom said waking me up from a wonderful dream. "Oh, and Lizzie will be her in 30 minutes. Why did we buy you a car when you never even drive it?" she went on as she left my room.
"Are all moms like that in the morning?" I said to no one rolling over and coming face to face with a note.
I meant what I said. I had to go home, but you looked so cute that I didn't want to wake you up. I'll see you in the morning. Love, Lizzie
I smiled. All seemed right with the world. I finally had my reason to jump up and get out of bed. I threw on a fresh pair of underwear and a wife beater, and headed for the closet. I grabed my carpenter AE shorts and a shirt, did that morning bathroom ritual, and ran out the door jumped in my Expedition and tried to catch Liz at home before she came to get me.
"Who said you get to drive this morning?" Liz asked playfully then kissed me. "I was going to ask you to drive anyway, Mirandas clunker broke down again and we need to get her and Larry."
"No problem." I smiled kissing Liz again before we pulled out. "Oh and next time I fall asleep and you leave, could you pick up my clothes out of the living room so my mom wont give me the horomone speech?"
"Now who says there's going to be a next time." Lizzie teased as we pulled into Mirandas drive. Lizzie turned on the radio and blared the musical tune of roses the rest of the way to school.
"Okay I need to go talk to Shane and then I'll catch up to you." Liz kissed my cheek and ran to find Shane.
"Alright, spill! What happened between after school and this morning?" Randa and Lar asked.
"It will all come in due time." I said with a smile and walked to my locker.
By 6th period I was getting worried about Lizzie. I hadn't heard from her since this morning and the day was almost out. Even Miranda and Larry seemed to be avoiding me. I had a bad feeling about this.
The bell rang to signal that the day was through. I walked out to my car and saw Lizzie back with her toungue down Shanes throat.
"Liz? Whats going on?"
"I'll be right back Shane." Lizzie pulled me to my car. "Look yesterday was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened and it only did because you were being so sweet and I felt sorry for you. So lets just put it behind us and move on. Okay?"
"A mistake. Saying you love me was a mistake."
"Gordo calm down, your going to cause a scene."
"Oh I get it now."
"Get what?"
"Get that your too stuck up and that your popularity is higher up on your list than true love. Well, here it is, this is your last chance. Take it now, because it won't be here later."
"Gordo please, just get in your car and go."
"Fine Liz, But I won't be here later." With those words I went home.
I actually expected Lizzie to come to me and apologize, but she proved me wrong. I was too depressed to eat, or even process the thought of being without her. I walked into the bathroom. Zoloft : No, Prozac : No, what is this, do my parents need happy pills? Here we are, Valium.
I took my cure and went into the kitchen. The phone rang, I ignored it probably mom calling saying that she was held up, pretty soon dad will be too. Thats normally how it goes. I got a glass of water and went back upstairs. I sat up on my bed that way I wouldn't fall on the floor. I took what was left in the bottle and layed down. This wasn't happening as quick as I thought it would. I thought I heard a door open. Oh well, their too late.
Now it's time to say goodbye
I love you baby please don't cry
'Cause then I'll find you here
Through your eyes everythings clear
And I'm home inside your arms
But I'm alone for now
Soon an angels face appeared. "Gordo, there you are, I've been looking all over for you. Gordo? Are you okay? Your eyes aren't focused. Gordo? Can you hear me? GORDO!"
"Beautiful angel! are you here to take me home?" Gordo asked looking at Lizzie
"Oh god, he's hallucinating!" Miranda screamed
"Larry call 911!" Lizzie ordered. "God please let him live. I was so wrong. I do love him, I can't lie to myself because I'm scared. I need to let him know that. Please god. Please let him live. Take me, I'm the one that caused this. He didn't deserve that. I don't deserve him." Lizzie cried.
The EMS crew arrived shortly after Lizzie did, then Gordos parents who demanded to know what ws going on. They loaded Gordo into the EMS and tried to stablize his heart rate. It dropped steadily until it was no longer beating.
alone for now