Women can't be like your women here. We can't be sweet, we can't be beautiful, we can't be women. He must be like the men- brutal, cocky, sharp to function in Midgar. That's what it takes- malice to the mailce, hate to the hate, because no one understands love.
For a long time, it- love - was just that damn feeling that got in they way of everything. You get attached, something happens, you get taken down too. You can't be so weak, so broken. Sure, being jaded is a part of Midgar, but not like that. Jaded like glass- you tear people up for it, not broken like a wall where everything's left open.
I met a guy, he had those walls. Walls stacked higher than the Shinra Corperation has rats. This was a man that would take a god to tear down, and well, it took gods. The man I knew wasn't the one that died-- he had a soul back then, and it was damn beautiful. Hell, the rest of him was too. The way he moved, the way he spoke, just everything about him dripped this sweet glow. Yeah, I bet it was from the mako, too.
We met when I was enlisted in the Soldier-- he was the weird guy that only had one or two friends, and chose the sword instead of a gun. That hair was the first thing that caught my attention. After seeing him in combat after a few months, I couldn't stand him. I thought he was a cocky ass. Too good for us all type, you know? Fighting him was amazing- I could keep up with him speed, but he had this catlike presicion, finely tuned power that didn't make sense. It was heavenly to be pinned down by those vibrantly alive eyes.
So, we were finishing up drills, and I decided to challenge him to a little sparring. I knew he was gonna win, but I had to try. I wasn't gonna let some stuck up ass try and show me up. Too bad I sucked enough for that to be way too easy. Anyway, I tossed him a staff, I took a staff, and it was off. Blow after blow, beating after beating, I wasn't backing down. Then he said something that just sent me over the edge, "The more you fight me the sloppier you get. You should stop before Shrina decides your too weak for their needs."
Infirmaries are interesting places. Broken bone here and there and they treat them like scrapes. Trust me, they don't feel quite the same. They all think healing potions and phoenix downs are great, but sometimes there are things that the two just can't heal. Luckily, that wasn't the case for me. It was a couple of potions and a day's bedrest for me. I was pissed the whole time. I couldn't take the beating he gave me- it hurt the pride I had to build up. So I told myself then and there I would get him back for it.
When I got back, I ignored him the entire time. Ok, so I just faked it really well. I kept tabs on him every chance I got. I had to find something he couldn't do, something he couldn't keep up with. He had to fall short some where, in some place. He couldn't be perfect, Shinra had to have taken something out of him, same as me. He wasn't phased by anything, though. Nothing could out do him, outsmart him, out be him. For every bit I hated him, I wanted to get closer. I wanted to touch that perfection. I wanted to know what made him that perfect man, and I wanted it now. By god, I was going to get it.
I went up to him after training again. With every step I took I couldn't stand the sight of him. I wanted to beat him down so fast his family tree would splinter. I wanted to take a chunk out of him. But, for my plan to work I had to find something to beat him at. All I knew was fighting, training, and what Shinra had taught me, so I was gonna try every trick in the book.
He looked at me as I leaned over the side of the sparring circle, resting my torso on the metal poles holding up the ropes. He and Zack had been sparring, so he looked a bit tired.
One look at me and he already had something to say. "You want to spar again? I wouldn't if I were you. Then again, I'm not as sloppy as you tend to be"
"Nope, this time we'll play a little game. You should know it. It's called tag." Zach looked at him and started laughing.
"You're telling me you want to play a kid's game with the best in Shinra? Wow, you got something knocked loose last time, didn't you"
"Ha. Yeah, right," I looked back at my adversary, "You're gonna lose, so bad"
He raised an eyebrow lightly, and simply inqured, "What are the rules"
"You got two minutes. You have to tag me ten times, that's all. Let's see if your speed is as quick as that mouth of yours."
Two minutes later, I was pinned against a wall with a hand around my throat. Big surprise. He had toyed with me the first minute and a half, letting me with I could win. I was furious. All I could think about was ripping that gorgeous face off. I realized then, I wasn't sore from being beaten, I was jealous of what he had. I wanted that skill, I wanted that power. I was so sick of being kicked out of the way because I was a woman. I wasn't proving anything to anyone else other than me. Well, it was time to prove to him I was worth fighting with. And the idea began.
"You lose," that simple smirk of testoterone spread across his face like wildfire. It was a harsh face that fit on harsh features, ones that fit the harsh exterior holding me a foot off the ground.
"Yeah... I do, so can you put me down?" I squirmed a bit, but it didn't do me any good, of course.
"Anything else you want to try winning at? You seem to lose so poorly so well." His gaze switched from eye to eye, almost as if trying to read my next move. From the looks of it, it seemed like he knew what I was thinking. Ha, right.
"I got one more challenge but you gotta put me down first, genius." As if dropping a bag of sand, he let go. I landed ok, straightened up and stared at him for a second, trying to word my thoughts carefully.
"Well"
"I bet I can kiss better than you"
A few seconds pause and a raised silver eyebrow. "What"
"You heard me. I bet you suck at kissing. Probably drool all over the place an-" I was quickly shut up by the most gentle thing I had ever felt in my life. His lips were soft, his kiss was soft, he was soft. It was so confusing coming from a man whose exterior was drenched in jaded glass and walls.
He pulled back as I was just begining to relax, and he stared at me, face to face. Oh god, those eyes. They drew me in, and I fought to keep myself from being pushed against him, back into that blissful world of him and me. My soul ached to be intertwined with that piece of heaven, that patch of gleaming light that I just had barely even tasted.
"I can show you many things that I do better," he said, his voice soft for only me to hear. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't know. I wanted just to be there, and I didn't care how.
"Sh-show me then. I-if your up for it, that is..." I looked away, I felt my face growing hot, and I was losing all that I had learned over the first couple of months. All sense of strength, stability, eventhing was slipping away in his presence. I could almost feel my body wanting to give way to him, just to have that hand touch me again.
He stood up, becuase he had to lean down to kiss me, and called to Zach that they were leaving. It was funny- Zach stood there watching the whole thing, and he had this huge smirk on his face.
Shinra's best looked down at me and said, "My quaters are a few doors down from yours. On the left, three down the hall." With that, he turn and walked away with Zach.
I found myself standing outside his door, after the other Soldiers had turned in for the night. I wanted to be there, but I couldn't bare the thought of trying to knock on the door. Someone would hear me, and I'd have to nervously explain why I was then sitting across the hall from his door. I let out a small sigh and went to stand up as the door opened to reveal the perfect man in only a pair of loose fitting draw string pants. He stood there, looking down at me. He smirked in his usual fashion.
"Are you coming in?" His voice was soft again, so not to disturb anyone else. I smiled a him a bit, and walked into his one person quaters. A small table was there, with a manual or two on it, and a cot just big enough to fit his rather impressive frame. There was a lamp on the edge of the table, that cast an odd orangish glow on his room.
"Why did you come?" He had a quirk to his voice I had never heard before- simply straight curiousity. It was amusing how it sounded, almost as if a child had asked it, meaning nothing more than the question.
"I... I have to tell you something." I stopped, realizing what I had just blurted out, and chastised myself for being so stupid. He smiled at me as he waited for me to continue.
"Well, I found myself, uh... wanting to know you. Wanting to know why your so... perfect. I haven't seen you fail at a single thing, not once. And that kiss..." My mind trailed off with those last words, relving that kiss only in my mind.
"I'm not like the other Soldiers, not like Zach, or you. I live a different life, one that hold a promise for something more... demanding. If I fail once, I know I will fail again. Do you understand"
"Yeah, I think..." I stopped for a moment. He was serious. He meant everything he said, though I couldn't understand it fully at the time.
"But what about"
"The kiss? I couldn't fail at something so simple as a kiss." His eyes held something different behind them, a true happiness that made me draw myself closer to him.
"Did you mean it... you're kiss? Or was it just to win?" Please don't let it be for the win.
"I meant it. I like your tenacity... and your lips."
I was drawn into that kiss again, just as vibrant as before. The world melted away when I closed my eyes, and all that was left of it was the force flowing through my lips and the warmth of his skin. I couldn't care who saw me now, if they thought I was weak, if I was drowning. I couldn't care anymore.
His hand gently flowed down my neck, over my chest, across my stomach, over my hips and up my back to rest on my shoulder blades. I couldn't help but feel his chest, those toned muscles and soft skin. He began to break the kiss, and as soon as it was over I kissed him again. I wouldn't let him away, not now. I rested a hand on his cheek, the other on his back. This time, I felt myself being drawn into a stronger kiss, one that held my body so close I could feel the heat radiating from his body directly onto mine.
I pulled back, and removed my tightly clad shirt. He stared at me, almost with a look of dibelief in his eyes, but it soon faded away with a gentle smile that soon turned to a kiss that sat on my right cheek.
"Are you sure..?" He whispered into my ears as he felt my bare back.
"Yes...tonight I'll be an angel for you"
"I'll be the angel, I promise..." He kissed down my cheek, kissing up and down my neck as he pulled me to the cot and gently laid me on it. He slid smoothly between my legs, running his fingers downards from my belly button, stopping only when he reached the woven material of the cot. I brushed a handful of hair out of his face, so I could see those eyes.
Next thing I knew he and I were completely skin to skin, no cloth between us. He rest himself between my legs, then stopped.
"You are completely sure about this..." His voice trailed off concerned. I shifted downward onto him, and as he let out a bit of a moan, I continued, "I'm sure; now kiss me my angel"
With that, he moved up my body, completely submerging himself inside me. I arched a bit, trying to be quiet. As I arched, he slid a hand under my back and pulled me to him into a kiss and he began to slowly rock back and forth. He held the kiss as I began to let out a small cry. On the back stroke he pulled away from the kiss and looked down at me.
"Shhhhhhhhhhh..." He kissed me again with a smile, and began the motions, as I tried to hold in the esctasy I felt in my entire body. He carressed me, with his body, his kisses, and the link that held us together.
I have never, in my life, felt something so complete as those precious moments I spent with him. For every breath, happiness abouded. For every stroke, the malice and the hatred right outside the window didn't matter. The walls were down, and there was no glass.
"I... I love you..." I meant it. There was a life here, a beautiful one so far away from the grim and dirt of Midgar laying right in my lap. There was a future that had the possibility of being the greatest love the world had ever seen.
"If fate would allow it, I would love you, too... but I can only love you now. Just... let me love you..." I almost cried. Those eyes were jaded, so badly I could see the blood behind them, as if he had been beaten and torn worse than I had ever known.
The greatest man that Midgar ever knew, that I ever knew, was the same one that helped create more malice and hatred among the people. He slaughtered towns, took lives. He was a creation for the perfect soldier, and the world had to pay for it. No one could understand that he knew all of this, before his time, and knew the happiness that would come of his desicions... but the world began to taint him, and the evil that tainted him lived on through his heart, then his mind. He was destined to be driven insane, destined to draw the dying planet beneath our feet back to the world it was supposed to be. He was never fated to have children, to be a husband, to love anyone so purely as he did me.
I love Sephiroth, and I always will.