Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket! Nor the Macarena! Or Pretty Pretty Princess, or Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Oh and not Etch- a – Sketch!

Hello there! This is only my second story, and my first Fruits Basket story! I don't know how good it'll be, but I thought I might as well give it a try! Enjoy! (Hopefully!)

Some of the stupidest meetings you can ever see are the ones that Akito has with Hatori, believe me. Yes, all the times when Akito calls Hatori because he feels "sick" are fake. I always sit there, hidden from view, but there. Do you think I would be able to roam freely when Akito is with other people? No. You know why? Because he's psychotic. Pretty much.

Hatori always walks in with the same, emotionless expression on his face. His eyes are set on the ground, and he doesn't even bother to ask Akito what's wrong. Yes, Hatori is smarter than most, and he knows very well that Akito puts the thermometer in his cup of tea when Tori isn't looking so it'll look like he has a high temperature. I kind of feel bad for Hatori, because if he even tried to yell at Akito he would get his butt kicked.

I recall one time in particular, it was probably the stupidest moment(s) of my whole life, probably, but I'm not sure. Akito sat there, hyper as usual across from his beloved "Tori-poo". He was bouncing quite more than on a normal basis, and waiting for the right words to come to his mouth.

"Hey ,Tori."

"Yes, Aktio?"

"Knock, knock"

"Akito, really, do we have to do this right now?"

"SHUT UP AND ANSWER ME OR I'M GIVING YOU A WEDGIE!"

" :long sigh: Well then... who's there?"

"Orange!"

"Orange who?"

" hehehehe...KNOCK KNOCK!"

I recall that this went on for at least fifteen minutes before finally, Akito became bored and attempted to give poor Hatori a wedgie even though the man had played his stupid game with him. He failed though, after all, Hatori is a lot stronger than him. Yes, even if he would get hit by the crazed midget, it's better than getting a wedgie, at age 26.

Meetings like this happen almost everyday, but sometimes I get wrapped into them too, and then it's just horrible. Somehow I always get played off as the lameass that knows how to play Pretty Pretty Princess and likes Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It's all Akito's doing though, really, I swear on my life. I'll give you an example of a time.

Ah yes, it was a lovely stuffy summer day and Hatori had come for various reasons. I sat quietly in my corner, playing with an Etch- a- Sketch because I had nothing better to do. I heard them talking randomly, and Akito laughing from time to time, the usual. Then, I heard Akito bark out my name. I looked up, a bit dazed and dropped my lovely picture of a box to go to his side.

"Kureno tell Tori-poo that it wasn't I that was dancing to the Macarena last night. Tell him it was you and that I don't even know how to do the dance!" Akito yelled madly, trying to get me to confess. I looked over at Hatori, hoping to see in his eyes that this was a ridiculous accusation. Instead I saw a doubtful tinge, and a bit of curiosity. Not what I wanted to see.

"Macarena? Well, actually..." I needed to defend my good name...well, at least my name in general. I felt Akito dig his nails into my arm and I changed my mind quickly.

"OOHHHH the Macarena, back where I come from we call it something different!" I yelled out randomly. Hatori stared a bit confused.

"Um...where do you come from that it's different?" Hatori asked. I gulped, Akito glaring madly at me for my stupid mistake. I looked around trying to find an escape. "Say something in a different language then run off!" my mind yelled. But that sounded stupid, instead I settled for saying...well something even stupider.

"HEY! Do you guys want to see my Etch- a - Sketch box?" I yelped out. Hatori's eyes grew a bit dim, and I could see Akito was surprised that I was so dumb. I felt like dying. More than I ever had before. Still, to add to my torture, Akito said that indeed, he did want to see my "art".

I lumbered slowly over to my dark corner and picked up my Etch- a - Sketch. I quickly walked back and handed it to Akito who proudly showed it to Hatori. Hatori nodded, and nicely smiled at me. "He must think I'm retarded or something..." I said to myself. All my dignity and respect for myself had vanished. I didn't even feel like dying now, I just wanted to stand there and let myself disappear into a big blob of nothingness.

I was so out of it, that I didn't even mind that much when Akito lovingly grabbed my neck, pulling me down to hug him and cuddle my face. Nor that he said, "Oh Reno-poo is so sweet and loving! I want to cuddle him all day!". Okay I winced a bit at that, especially when I saw Hatori about to burst with laughter, for the first time ever. Hatori stood and said his farewells before rushing out of the room.

You might think that now I could care less about myself, but oh no, worse is to come. Because seriously, what happens when you put Ayame and Akito in a room together. Well, let's just say I can't describe it by the end of this chapter. Let alone in five seconds.