Author's Notes: WARNING: Character death. Established Daniel/Vala. Based on "If Only Through Heaven's Eyes" by NSYNC. It's on the Light it Up soundtrack. If you get a chance, listen to the song. The lines represent flashbacks.
Summary: "I don't know how to let you go." Daniel remembers.
Someday You'll See
by: JnnLuvsU
Daniel walked slowly down the pathway, staring at the single red rose in his hand. He twirled it around, stalling. There were a few others visiting family and friends, but for the most part the graveyard was empty. The beautiful day contradicted the turmoil of emotions Daniel was feeling as he stopped before one grave. Memories took over as he dropped to his knees in front of it. He allowed them to wash over him as he plucked weeds from the base of the stone.
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Daniel was thrown to the side as an explosion rocked the Odyssey. He immediately reached out his hand to steady himself as he made his way up to the bridge. Vala followed close behind him.
Adria was on the screen when they reached the bridge, and he turned to Vala. She was frozen, listening to her daughter's demands. Vala turned to him as Adria stopped speaking and attempted a small smile, "We have to give her what she wants." She turned and walked toward the ring room.
Daniel ignored everyone else on the bridge and followed her, "No," he said, grabbing her arms, "I won't let you."
Vala looked into his eyes, "This is the only way. She's given us the perfect opportunity to smuggle the weapon to where she is. You know that it has to be done."
"Then I'm coming with you," he countered.
Vala gave him a quick kiss, "I'll be fine, I'll be back. But I'm doing this on my own."
"And I won't let you," he repeated.
Vala backed away from him, "I'm sorry, Daniel," she whispered and proceeded to shoot him with a zat.
When he woke up Mitchell and Sam were leaning over him. Vala was gone.
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But she lied. While she had come back, two months later, she was not fine. And she had died less than a day later.
That had been six months ago and today was the first time Daniel had come back to her grave since then. A lot had happened in those six months. A few tears streaked down his face as he ran his fingers over her name. Daniel was never one to think talking to the dead did any good, but today he found himself telling her things.
"I miss you," he whispered. "I never thought you'd actually be gone. Even in the beginning, when I was so rude to you, you never let me down." He twirled the rose between his fingers. "When the Ori were coming, our darkest hour, you sacrificed yourself to give us light, a ray of hope in defeating them. You faced Adria and showed everyone a thing or two. You stood up."
His gaze fell on his left hand, and the gold band that laid there. He smiled as he remembered that day.
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Daniel twirled Vala around on the dance floor, enjoying the look of pure joy on her face. He drew her close to him and buried his face in her hair, "You look so beautiful," he whispered.
She smiled up at him, "Getting married will do that to a woman," she said.
They both knew that their joy couldn't and wouldn't last. The Ori were still out there, they knew that. While their spoken vows had been traditional, he spoke to her now different vows. "I promise to protect you," he breathed in her ear, "I vow to stand by you through all of our trials." He looked her in the eye, "And I vow to do everything in my power to save Adria from the Ori." He knew that was important to her, even if she hid it.
Vala smiled softly at him and looked at his chest, "I promise to protect you," she echoed. "I promise to help you defeat the Ori." She wrapped her arms around his neck, "I promise never to hurt you or leave you."
They sealed their vows with a kiss and spent the rest of day enjoying being newlyweds.
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Again she'd lied. Not on purpose, but she'd left, and it had hurt. Daniel sighed and wiped his eyes, "I still remember what you said on our wedding day. I hear it in my head everyday. I was so mad at you when you left. It's not your fault, I know that now. And I should have forgiven you sooner, but it hurt too damn much." His voice choked with emotion and he buried his face in his hands. The tears rolling down his cheeks went unnoticed.
"You made me so proud that day. I never got a chance to tell you that. You sacrificed yourself for everyone else and I was so proud to know you, to be your husband. You told the world it was time that they believed in you, and you were right. You stood up for everyone."
"General Landry had a memorial for everyone a few weeks ago. You would have hated it, everyone all depressed. But I think it did everyone a lot of good."
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General Landry stood in the middle of the room and looked around. Daniel hung back against the wall, waiting for the perfect moment to leave. Vala was gone and he didn't need a memorial service to come to terms with his loss.
"People," Landry began, "We are here today not to celebrate our victory over the Ori, but mourn and remember the many lives that were lost along the way. We've got to remember them all. The ones who sacrificed everything. They did it for everyone. We need to learn from this, and only hope that we can have the courage that they had in our final hour. There's a large galaxy out there, hiding who knows what else. We must be strong." He raised his glass. Everyone in the room followed suit. Daniel dutifully raised his glass. He took a sip of the wine in it before setting it down and walking out of the room.
Sam caught up with him, "Daniel," she called, "Wait."
Daniel stopped, "Not now, Sam, I just want to be alone."
Sam let him walk away from her, "You should be proud of her," she said.
Daniel nodded, "I am." He just wanted to be proud of her alive, not dead.
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Daniel smiled through his tears, "Everyone's been great, but they don't understand. I don't really have any one to talk to, since most of them never understood you. I wish you were here."
He took a deep breath, "The Stargate went public two weeks ago. It was a little hard to hide the very large Ori ship over Colorado. That's why I haven't been here. Everyone's been debating everything that's happened over the last 15 years. From our first trip through the gate. Some say that we never should have gone through the gate in the first place. That if we hadn't, none of this would have happened. But then I would never have met you, and that bothers me. Because I can imagine what my life would have been like without the Stargate or you, and I don't like what I see."
He traced her name with his fingertips. "Others say it wasn't worth the things we went through." Emotion clouded his voice, "I say that it's not worth losing you."
"You changed my life in every way, and you changed everyone else's life, too. I only wish you could know that." He kissed his fingers and pressed them against the stone. "I love you," he choked, as he stood up. He laid the red rose in front of the stone. "Someday you'll see," he whispered, "if only through heaven's eyes." He walked away, his knees sore from leaning on them for so long.
A few steps down the path, he turned back to the grave. From this distance he could read the whole stone without moving his eyes. 'Vala Jackson', it said. Below it, Daniel had put the line, 'Beloved wife and friend.' Below that was a quote from a poem that Vala had loved, 'Miss me...But let me go.'
"I don't know how to let you go," he whispered. Then he turned and walked away.
The End. Please Review and tell me you liked it. Thanx.