It's been soo long, I'm real sorry about that horribly long wait, but thank you to the readers who stuck it out and are ready for this chapter! I'm pretty sure it's one of the longest so far!
I have to warn you now…of my spilt personalities. I wrote the beginning of this story with both my little people (I named them Rosiel and Raphiel, my happy boy buddies in my head!) were balanced.
But, I'm afraid to say that right now Raphiel is in full force, and sadly, he has a dirty mouth. And mind, but we won't go there! So this chapter has a lot of swearing, nothing too intense I hope, but if you're uncomfortable with that I just want to warn you!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or an AK-47 :sighs: I freaking wish.
Raphiel: SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY.
(He secretly hates me. A lot.)
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Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God.
Damn it Shigure. Damn you! Why would he decide to bring Tohru? WHY? Is it because he hates me and wants me to get my ass kicked by Akito? Maybe. Is it because he's a complete idiot and thinks things through half way and then stops thinking all together? Probably!
Yes, Akito will try to rip Tohru's hair out, but after she leaves, that's when he freaks out. I mean like --- woah.
Last time she came, she wanted to just "talk to him about life". WHAT THE HELL TOHRU? Why would you come here for some stupid reason like that?
Damn it Tohru. Damn you! You're just going to feel Akito's wrath. Over and over and over again. That sounded dirty. Oh dear, indeed. For really!
But anyways, even though I cursed non-stop for two days straight in my head about her coming, it did nothing to stop her. Akito put on his happy face and decided to be all fake, AGAIN. But he's pretty smart, I mean, she falls for his act every time.
He was really excited this time, then he announced why over breakfast. "Ooooh Reno-poo. I just can't wait! I bought an AK-47 that has Tohru's name written all over it! I just can't wait to blow her happy little head off!" He said, smiling so happily I thought his face might crack.
This was not good. Not good at all. I might be mad at Tohru for deciding to come, and mad at Shigure for being dumb enough to let her come, but that was no reason to let her die and The Man/Woman's hands. No reason at all.
So, I started plotting. I plotted like no other; I was the best plotter ever. I OWNED plotting. Like woah. So, after writing down various plans in different languages so Akito couldn't read them, I decided they all sucked and burned my paper with a lighter I had stolen from Hatori after he "accidentally" blew up a rooster while doing some weirdo science experiment. REVENGE!
Anyways, I wasn't sure what to do, so I decided to have a group meeting with, well Hatori because he's the only one who really talks with me except Akito. I told him my dilemma, and he decided to call Shigure and talk him out of coming, but of course he just had to refuse and say he and Tohru were on there way over right now.
Uh-ooooooooh.
"Kureno, there's only one resolve." He said calmly. What you stupid chicken killing bastard? What could you have possibly come up with! "...You'll have to dress up like Tohru and pretend to be her."
No. I draw the line at cross dressing. She can die for all I care there is no way in hell that I'm going to parade around like a happy little girl to save some stupid chicks life. No, no, no and no again! Hatori, you're stupid. Why don't you go dress up like Tohru! Huh, huh?
15 minutes later: "Now there you go Kureno, it doesn't look too bad. Let's just fix your wig a little, your hair is showing through on the side."
Damn it.
"Okay, now I'll go to the door and greet them and steal Tohru and you take her place." Hatori said, pushing me out of the safety of the room he forced me to dress up in. That sounded dirty too. Bad day.
I casually flicked him off as he walked down the hall, leaving me to not get caught before the act. I of course took this time to practice my Tohru voice. I think I did pretty damn good too. I have never in my life got my voice that high, ever. It was fun...ny. Funny. Not fun. Like hell I would have fun talking like a girl! Chyeah...psht.
Finally Shigure came down the hall. I fell in step behind him, but he stopped suddenly and turned around, only to see that short pretty Tohru had grown about 8 inches and had small side-burns. "Tohru...what the hell did you eat for breakfast?" He asked, looking at me strangely.
I shrugged, not wanting him to suspect me if I used my fake girly voice. That would just be bad. We finally got to Akito's little sitting room.
I was sure I would be greeted with a fake smile that was usually granted to the annoying girl, but instead, Shigure and I were left with the scene of Akito standing, AK-47 in hand, in a camouflage jump-suit.
"What the hell." Shigure asked. Akito glared madly in my direction, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU TOHRU WHO GREW EXTREMELY TALL AND SCARY LOOKING IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS! NOW YOU DIE!" He yelled.
"Nooooo." I said, trying to be afraid, but I was pretty sure that gun was more powerful than Akito and he would probably hurt himself in the process of "attempting" to shoot me, leaving the bullets to be stray and me to be unharmed. Oh yes.
Shigure and Akito turned to me; I knew my voice would kill the act.
"Tohru...why is your voice..." Shigure started.
"IT'S SO HIGH." Akito screeched madly.
"Um, that's because, umm..." THINK KURENO! Hell of a time to not know how to reply. "Um! HE...HELIUM!"
"Helium?" Shigure asked oddly.
"Yes, I sucked in...helium before we came. From...a balloon." I said.
Shigure and Akito shrugged and went to sit down, Akito had abandoned the gun while I was thinking of something to say, probably because it got to heavy, serves him right.
Other than a few times that Akito glared in my direction, he didn't pounce and try to attack. I think he was afraid of how tall I had grown.
FINALLY, after 2 hours of chit-chat and make out sessions that I was not part of, thank God, Shigure decided it was best to leave. I followed him out to where I knew Hatori was keeping Tohru captive.
...I wonder what they did the whole time they were waiting. That was purposely dirty. And very much enjoyed...in my head.
Never mind that.
Everything went as planned, but as me and Hatori were walking back to where my normal clothes were, Akito could be heard screaming "HATORI DAMMIT!" Through-out the house. "I should probably see what he wants, you hide around the corner."
I sighed, pulling the stupid girl wig off. Stupid Hatori, why can't I just get changed! God.
"I can't find Reno-poo!" Akito cried to Hatori. "Oh...he's right here." Hatori replied. I froze up, there was no way in hell I was going to pop out dressed like a girl. Akito would get way too much enjoyment out of that. Way too much.
I felt a stupid cold hand wrap around my wrist and pull me out of hiding. Akito stared at me, shocked to the point of not being able to talk. "Really Kureno? I mean, I know Ritsu does that, but..." Akito asked.
"Yeah I...I..." I clearly couldn't say why I was dressed like this. I couldn't ruin myself completely, and I couldn't tell him the truth. I could tell him Hatori did it to me, but...well that would just lead to more awkward questions and I would probably get killed by Akito for stealing Hatori. Or by Hatori for making up he was gay. Probably is gay though...
Never mind that.
"Kureno likes to dress up like a girl sometimes." Hatori blurted out. I felt myself die. Right there. On the spot in my frilly pink dress. Life is cruel.
And Hatori was going to die. There was still a perfectly good gun in Akito's room. A perfectly good gun to kill Hatori with! HAH! Revenge.
"Well, why are you with him?" Akito asked. Hatori stuttered a bit, "Because...we're together...?" He said, I could tell he was ready to cry for saying that.
Abort revenge. I'm sure saying that he was gay is sufficient revenge for saying I liked to dress up like a girl.
"Oh!" Akito said, and then skipped off. I don't think it registered with him what "together" meant, but really, I don't think that'll ever bother either of us.
"Never take about this again?' I said. Hatori nodded and quickly rushed down the hall.
Beautiful day it was, until Aktio decided he had a special plan for tomorrow.
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Oooh what did Akito plan for he and Kureno? We'll just have to wait and find out now won't we?
This is random, but last night I watched that Naruto show (which to me sounds like Nerd-Toe but don't mind me.), and I was actually pretty interested. I usually loath all shows that cut out a lot of the awesome violence and swearing, haha, but I actually liked this a little.
But I need help figuring it out, because well, I'm going to use the blonde card here. So if you watch the show help meee!