I've heard talk about the Mirror of Erised; Harry and Ron mentioned it when I came back from vacation and I've read of it in many books. All of the books warned their readers to not even search for the Mirror- that it was too powerful and showed too much. Ron only shook his head when I asked him about it, mentioning that it was a nasty slap of reality. Harry said that it gave him amazing happiness, but that he would most certainly never look for it again, seeing as it had already caused so much damage. Neither really talked about what they saw, although Ron did say years later that the mirror had been wrong.
I would lay awake for nights after I came back from vacation first year and I heard the boys' tales. I tried to imagine what I could possibly want so much that I would stay in front of a mirror all night and risk being caught. If I had thought of the mirror during my first few weeks at Hogwarts, the answer would have been easy: friends. However, I had friends, so I couldn't come up with an answer. It used to keep me up, since I knew that I wasn't the happiest person in the world, but I couldn't imagine what would make me happy.
Second year was no better- I wasn't exactly happy, but I couldn't figure out why. I spent so much energy trying to help Harry and then so much time Petrified that I pushed the question out of my mind. I'm sure Ron and Harry would've said that I wanted Professor Lockhart, but I'm pretty sure they would have been wrong. I may have been silly, but I knew a person like Professor Lockhart would not make me happy.
In third year, my answer finally came to me, although at a price. I would have given anything in the world to have my friends back, and cried myself to sleep each night they ignored me or Ron said something particularly nasty. All I wanted was to be able to turn back time, truly turn it back, and not take all the extra classes or have said all the things I said. I would never have batted an eye at the Firebolt and would have willingly agreed with Ron about Crookshanks if it meant having them back. I was starting to realize how big a part of my life they were and it made me scared. I was never a people-person and to lose them would ruin me. It scared me that one day I might truly lose them forever and that I'd have to spend my life alone.
By the next year, my wish had changed dramatically. My happiness had become so much more shallow and I hated myself for it. I watched as the girls around me were asked to the Yule Ball by the boys they had been dreaming about, but I was ignored. I felt that if only I was prettier, things would be so much more different. If I were prettier and less like me, I would have been one of those lucky girls going with the guys of her dreams. If I had been more of a girl, Ron would have asked me and meant it.
By fifth year, I was beginning to clue in as to why I wasn't happy. I was happiest when doing my patrols with Ron, although I tried to kid myself and insist all I wanted was Umbridge gone and order restored. That little nagging voice I used on the boys decided it needed to rebound on me and insisted that if things were truly "just friendly," I wouldn't have tried so hard to impress Ron. By the time I was ready to admit publicly my feelings for him, we were too deep in OWLs and the DA that I couldn't. As the three of us parted ways on the platform, I was kicking myself for not having said anything as Ron gave me a quick hug good-bye and walked away to the soundtrack of the twins' teasing. He blew me a kiss before I left with my mum and dad, which I'm still convinced I imagined.
My sixth year was probably the most miserable year I could have had. Ron was so close to being mine, I was so close to being truly happy, and within a second and a friend's careless words, it was all gone. I saw almost no hope and my days could not have passed any slower. Each time I saw him with her, it was as if I was stabbed right in the heart, and the pain increased with every viewing. Even after his poisoning, things moved so painfully slow between us that it was if nothing would ever happen. It wasn't until the night of Dumbledore's death that everything came out into the open.
It's only been two years since that day, and I now stand in front of a door that could open to reveal the Mirror of Erised. My hand rests on the doorknob and Ron is waiting behind me. He has assured me that if I go in, he will only let me stay for a little while before taking me far, far away. I trust myself to not go that far, but I trust him even more to fulfill his promise. It's a difficult decision, whether to go in or not. If I do, I risk losing control, or worse, seeing something that could frighten my rational self. If I refuse and walk away, there will always be that curiosity, something that could grow into a horrible monster.
The pause has lengthened into minutes and I hear Ron's breathing as he moves closer behind me. He touches my shoulder, as if to assure me that he is really there and won't leave. His touch does reassure me, but I'm not sure if it's in the way he intended. I don't need to look in the Mirror of Erised to see what would make me the happiest. I turn around and wrap arms around Ron, holding him as if I could never let him go. I don't need the Mirror of Erised like the boys did- I found my happiness all on my own.
And after tomorrow, I'll never lose him again.
A/N- Okay, one of my suckier stories, but it was one of those ideas that just wouldn't leave me alone. Hopefully I didn't make it suck too bad crosses fingers. I must thank JK Rowling for this plot bunny, since it was based off of something she said. In a recent interview, she told us that if Hermione were to look in the Mirror of Erised, she would see Voldemort dead and she and Ron living happily ever after.
As usual, I own none of this. If I did, I sure wouldn't be scrounging for gas money.