Taller Than God-Part Two
Note: Ok kiddos, here it is. I apologize that it's taken so long but I'm in college now, and as anyone in college knows, it's excessively difficult to find the time to write. I aslo aplogize that I didn't post this update when I said I would, but my familiy has been going through some difficulties lately. I am so sorry again, please still read and care about this story, I'm putting all I have into it. The semester's beginning to close now, so expect updates fairly frequently, i'll do that is humanely possible to make that happen. Thanks.
Chapter VIII
"Enjoy the Silence"
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningful
And forgettable
Enjoy the silence
- Depeche Mode, Violator
I walked Birkin down the all too familiar to my room. A little informal, perhaps, but I needed the insurance of absolute privacy. "Come on in." My voice was laced with such meekness as I managed to get out my sentence; that I was revolted by myself. I had to admit, my incident with Chris certainly didn't help matters. It served only to give him more of a right to suspect me.
I took a chair from my near by desk, and offered it to William. I sat directly across from him, dreading to initiate the conversation. I already knew it was bound to be an unpleasant one. When I felt I had regained control of the muscles that governed my mouth, I began:
-"So, how bad is it, Birkin?"
-"Well, it's not good. You're most assuredly revealing your true feelings through your actions. You're sensitive to the mere mention of her name, and, I gather, you're no better when she's actually around. I'd say you're officially in love with her. However, with Umbrella involved, this makes falling in love with an outsider extremely difficult."
-"Don't you think I'm already aware of that? Umbrella thinks nothing of…well, if anything ever happened to her. I would be…I would keep harm from ever befalling her."
-"Hmm…well, I have to admit I've seen you like this. It's a little unsettling, actually. I would never have dreamt it…the great Wesker, conquered by love. It's kind of poetic, really."
-"Don't be a fool."
-"I'm not. One thing's for certain, Umbrella could never find out about her; for her safety and yours as well. The best thing you could do to prevent such a thing is to stay away from her."
-"I realize that. I just want to protect her. God! I hate talking this way! I hate all these new 'feelings' I have."
-"That's love for you, Wes. It never comes around when it's convenient. I know it'll be almost impossible for you to keep your distance from her, but I wouldn't like an innocent woman to be harmed if it can be prevented."
-"You're right. I need to stay away from Asherah." My stomach churned as I practically spat out the words. Not to see her? Can I even avoid it? I am the leader of this team, after all. I'd have to keep my interaction with her to a minimum. If anything ever happened to my love, I'd never forgive myself. And I'll be damned before I let Umbrella touch her!
-"Good. Just know, Wesker, whatever you decide, I'll support you as best I can. Just, do me a favor; use your best, most clear-headed judgment. It could mean her life."
-"I know."
Asherah walked back from Jill's room to her own. She already knew that Rebecca and Claire were lying in wait, ready to pounce on her as soon as she opened the door. "Okay, As, take a deep breath. It's all gonna be fine; whatever Rebecca asks you, you can deal with it." Oh God, she won't be satisfied until she knows everything.
-"Asherah?"
- "Oh shi-
Rebecca stood there in the doorway looking at her friend, who stood there silently, seeming to be comprending the doorknob. "Um, Asie, something wrong with the doorknob?"
By this time Claire had gotten up from her place on Asherah's bed, and was standing behind Rebecca, also watching Asherah. A small blush filled Asherah's cheeks as her mind finally processed Rebecca's question.
-"Um, no, not at all. I just, um, have a lot on my mind."
-"Oh, like what?" Rebecca smiled the sweetest, most innocent smile she could conjure. She was desperately trying to control the urge to pull Asherah into the room, and lock the door until she confessed all that had taken place.
-"Um, I'm just really tired right now, guys. If you don't mind, I kinda want to go to bed now. We'll discuss it tomorrow; no more tonight, please."
Claire nodded her head at her friend's request. "Of course, As. Come on, Rebecca, you're prying mind's going to have to wait."
-"Ah, fine. Night Asherah."
A look of relief ran over Asherah's face, Claire had saved her once again. "Thanks you guys, night."
Later that night, Asherah was tossing and turning in her bed, absorbing the day's horrific events. She glanced over to Rebecca's side of the room to find her soundly asleep. Oh man, I can't believe that really just happened. Am I really in love with Wesker? Maybe… Well, one thing's for sure, I need to get up and walk around because the longer I lie here in silence, the more my thoughts seem to wander. I sat up and pushed the sheet that was covering me, aside. As I put my feet on the floor and stood, all I could see was his face. I shook my head at the image, somehow figuring it would displace him from my conflicted mind.
This is starting to become ridiculous. Now, I can't sleep and I'm confused all the time. My heart and my mind feel like they're tearing themselves apart. I mean, honestly, I've only just met the man. I guess that means it's…love? I wish I knew the answer. "God, I wish I would just shut up!" I yelled at myself as I turned down the dark adjoining hallway. I had to admit I was a little lost I was a little lost, but I as I took a closer look around, I began to recognize my current surroundings. This is where I came out of Jill's room, it's their hallway. And I hadn't forgotten as I walked to the end of it, that Wesker's was the largest in its own hall, the one just happening to lead straight into the office. Well, that's not surprising if he does live up to his reputation. Perhaps, I could just casually walk by and take a peek, well, at the closed door at least. Yeah, I'm just walking to the office, got stuff to do; walk; office; good. Totally innocent just walking to the office; so what if Wesker's room was ever so conveniently placed; not my fault. At least I'm not practically naked this time….
Elsewhere Wesker was also lying awake, staring at the ceiling. Great another sleepless night, he thought to himself. How many more of these am I going to suffer through? All I can think of is her; her beautiful face, her long dark hair…I worship you. I'm disgusting, Asherah, I know, so pathetic and weak; you'll never feel the way I feel for you. I have…I have to feel myself inside. "God, stop your pitiful whining." I got up and went to my desk; work always did seem to distract me from life; mostly because I dedicated mine to it.
Asherah was quickly approaching Wesker's room; her heart begun to thump in her chest. Well, this is fun…I hope Rebecca doesn't wake up and see I'm not there. I hate when it's dark like this, I always feel like I'm going to get lost. There's the office and Wesker's room…wait…the door is open. Oh well, he's probably asleep by now. Must've just left it open…there's no harm if I quietly sneak by and take a tiny glance over. It's not like he's awake to catch me, I mean see me. Alright, here goes nothing…
Wesker was sitting at his desk, flipping through some random papers; doing anything possible to distract himself from his lovely obsession. Then, he came across a report from Umbrella and was reminded of his previous conversation with Birkin a few hours earlier, not to mention the feelings of harsh resentment begun to well up inside him once more.
Umbrella…the mere idea of them infuriated me, especially after my talk with Birkin. But, for now, I must pretend to be their obedient lap dog so my plans could be allowed to unfold in time. If they ever discovered me…I love her too much to lose her, specially to them. She's the only thing I've ever felt anything for…no, no, this must stop, I have to stay away. I'm just going to work and forget all about this tumultuous affair for the moment. I picked up my pen and started to work, then, out of the corner of my eye, I could've sworn I saw a darkened figure move past my door. Could someone still be awake? I got up from my desk to check it out; I needed a distraction from my thoughts, in any case.
Asherah nearly jumped ten feet in the air at her horrid realization. Oh shit! Oh shit! He was awake. Okay, Asherah, just keep your cool, maybe he didn't notice you, wouldn't be the first time…He did look kind of busy; I'll just keep walking and pray to the almighty that he didn't see me. Wesker…
Wesker stepped out into the hallway, and followed the figure into the office. It was, oh no, no, this isn't happening; it was her. My one and only desire, walking two inches in front of me, "Asherah?"
Asherah's blood went cold at the mention of her name, but more at the voice that spoke it. Oh shit! Oh shit! Mother of the Lord! Why, God, why? What have I done that was so wrong? I'm supposed to keep my distance from you. Oh well, I can't ignore him, he's already pissed at me. I turned around, and there he stood just watching me with a look in his eyes I couldn't quite identify. "Wesker, um, I know I shouldn't be wandering around this late. I'm sorry; at least I'm better attired this time, ha ha, hm." I gave a nervous chuckle. He just looked away from me, without so much as a smirk. A lump began to rise up in my throat; I hung my head and stared at the floor. Come on, As, you know he doesn't feel the same way. What are you getting so upset about?
-"You shouldn't be out of bed this late at night; you're making yourself a burden, especially to me." I'm sorry, you need to stay away from me, Asherah, I love you…
My head shot up at his comment and there were tears in my eyes, despite using all my will to hold them back. I put my hand up to my mouth, and dropped my head again.
-"Now, get back to bed. You have work to do here; this isn't a slumber party with all your friends, it's a job. Go." I could hear a faint sniffling as I turned my back to leave. She was…crying. Oh God, Asherah, I'm so sorry. Can't you see I'm just trying to protect you? You're the most precious thing to me; I don't want anything to happen to you. I began to walk away from my love, when I realized her hand on my arm, pulling me back to her. I looked up into her face, and saw her tear-stained cheeks. I never had more self- loathing in that moment, then I have in my whole lifetime. The tears were still streaming down from her beautiful eyes; I almost reached out to take them away but stopped myself.
-"Wait. I might be just a burden to you, but I worked hard to get this job and I'm absolutely dedicated to it. And you have no right to say otherwise." The tears flooded down my face more and more with every word I spoke, and it was becoming difficult to form words at all. What's come over me? "I want to know just why you despise me so much, Wesker. I know our first meeting wasn't perfect, but you have no reason to hate me for it! Just what is it with you when it comes to me? Huh?"
My will was breaking; I wouldn't be able to stand my ground for much longer. I wanted to pull her into my arms, and kiss her until I made the tears go away. I desired to feel her body against mine, so much I was about to smash her body against me. I want to tell you, I want to tell you so badly. "Go back to your room, now. I'm not asking."
I started to sob, and was yelling to compensate for the shakiness in my voice. I must've looked like such an idiot in front of him. "I deserve an explanation, and I'm not leaving until I get one. What is this?"
-"For fucksake, Asherah!" My will was shattered; I couldn't hold it back any longer. I grabbed her into my arms and softly kissed her, too afraid to deepen it. I released her enough to put my hands on her face, and wipe a falling tear away. I looked directly into her eyes, "Can't you understand? I'm in love with you."
I pulled back from against his body. I just stood there dumbfounded, tears still running down my face, with my hand clasped over my gasping mouth. He…loves…me.
I was afraid after she pulled away from me and my mind had a chance to process my actions. She just stood there, staring at me. Well, I guess that's her answer. I looked down at the floor in front of me, like a submissive dog. Then, I saw her feet move towards me, she wrapped her arms around me and returned my kiss.
-"I'm in love with you too, Wesker." I returned to his lips as his grip on me tightened, and I could feel him deepen our kiss.
I moved her against the office entryway to make sure she was supported. I began kissing her harder, exploring my mouth, each kiss becoming more intense than the last. I was also getting more and more aroused with each passing second. I desired to make her mine, to feel her skin rubbing against mine. I wanted to possess her and make her my own forever. I tried not to think if she had already been with a man, not that it would surprise me, just looking at her, but the thought of someone else's hands on my Asherah was enough to make me go insane with envy and hatred. I loved her so much…
I went to her neck, licking it and ending in a kiss, which begetted moans from my love. I kissed her wildly, while my hands began to explore over her body. I was certain she could feel how excited she was making me. My hands hovered over her chest, found their way down her stomach, to the top of her pajama pants. My hand went down her pants and I rubbed her through her underwear. Her moans filled my ears, which only enticed me even more. I wanted her so badly right there and then, but I held myself back. I looked into her glittering, intense red eyes, "Come with me."
I took her by the hand and led her to the doorway of my room. When I moved to go in, I realized she had stopped. I turned around to see what the matter was; she had her head down, staring at our held hands. She looked up at me; the expression on her face was one pf nervousness and uncertainty. "What's wrong, my love? Do you not want-
-"No, I do, but, you see, um (oh great, I'm stuttering) um, I've never (out with it, girl!), I've never done anything like this before." I looked at him, frightened of how he was going to respond. "I'm sorry if I've disappointed you."
I enclosed her in my arms. "Oh my little girl, no you haven't. Now you'll truly be mine and mine alone." She shook her head against my chest. I took her hand once again, and led her into my room. "Go sit on the bed." I turned back around and locked my door. I walked over and kneeled before her, I pulled her down onto the floor with me, and embraced her one last time before I claimed her for my own.
I kissed her lips, "I'd never do anything to hurt you." I took her up from the floor to stand, and sat her back on the bed. I took off my shirt, and sat down next to her. Our lips locked, I laid her down, and began to undress her. I removed her shirt an untied her pant string, something I have fatasied about a least a thousand times. I pulled them off of her until she was lying in front of me in nothing but her underwear. She was perfect, everything I ever dared to imagine, she embodied it. I was sure that, by now, she was well aware of my inner thoughts, funny how my body betrays whenever shes near to me. She sat up and kissed me, running her hands down my chest, and then over me. I started to breathe heavily; she undid my belt and unzipped my pants. I took them off, along with my underwear, and left them in a lump on the floor.
I unclasped her bra, letting it join with the lump of clothing on the floor. I kissed her, slowly nuding her backwards. I removed her panties, she started to look nervous again. "Don't worry, I'll take of you." She nodded her head in agreement. I went to her mouth, plunging my tongue inside it. I trailed my lips to from her mouth to her neck kissing and licking it until she had began to moan. I left her neck, down to her chest, and then her stomach to her precious area. I stopped as she was about to climax, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
I took a deep breath after he asked me, bracing myself for the intial pain. "Yes, I am, I want it to be with you. I always want only you." He smiled, the first time I had ever seen him smile actually, and ran his hand through my hair. He took my mouth as entered me. I could feel myself break for him, and tears formed in my eyes.
"It's alright, just hold on to me." Wesker whispered in Asherah's ear, breathing hotly. When we finished,my body fell limp on top of her's. I laid beside her, my breath still unsteady. She turned over on her side so her eyes met mine. I ran my fingers through her raven hair, "Mine." She nodded her head, "Always." A brief smile emerged on my lips in response to her. I fell asleep that night with her in my arms.