"Now, Poppy, I see no reason why the boy can't stay. He's causing no harm here." Voices floated around Lily as she slowly regained consciousness.
"But, Albus, it's just not-"
"Poppy, dear, leave it be."
"Umm, Professor Dumbledore, can I speak with you a moment?" She started when she heard that particular voice. She smiled softly and opened her eyes.
"James?" she called softly, frowning when she didn't see him. She attempted to sit up, but was quickly pushed back down by the kind, but firm, hands of Madame Pomfrey.
"Now, dear. You must rest! Mr. Potter will be back in a moment. He's just speaking with Professor Dumbledore across the room – just there." She pointed, and Lily followed her finger, seeing a slightly blurry bit of messy black hair. "Now, you relax."
Like that was going to happen. "James!" Lily called, eager to see him and ask what in the world had happened. Once second she was doing rounds with James, and now…. She remembered being dizzy.
She shoved the nurse's hands off and stood, but just as she got her feet under her, she felt her knees give way. Fortunately, James had heard her call and, for what soon she learned was the second time in 24 hours, caught her before she fell.
This time the world spun before her eyes, but she refused to let it disappear again. James supported her, and she gripped his arms until the room slowed to a stop. When she felt herself stop swaying and James face came into a clear view, she attempted a smile.
"Are you alright?" he asked, a concerned look on his face.
"Yeah, just a little dizzy," she answered. He then lifted her easily – almost too easily – back onto the hospital bed. He sat her down gently, but even as he pulled away she kept a grip on his hand.
The now-annoyed young nurse shoved a goblet half-filled with some terrible smelling orange goop into her hands. "Drink it," she ordered. "It will help with the dizziness." It tasted awful, but then again, what potion doesn't?
As soon as she had gotten all of it down, the room quit attempting to spin out of control. "Better?" the nurse asked.
Lily nodded. "Yeah." James had both his hands covering hers, and Lily was thoroughly comforted by this. She asked, "What happened? Why am I here?"
"You fainted," James answered. "Remember?"
"Yeah, I remember that part. It's what's between then and now that I'm kind of fuzzy on."
"I brought you here. Madame Pomfrey gave you some potions and stuck a stick thingy in your mouth. When she pulled it out, it was green. I tried to get her to tell me what it meant, but she kept saying we had to wait for you to wake up and not to disturb you." His annoyance was apparent by the face he made.
James, having obviously forgotten the presence of both Madame Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore, blushed slightly at his outburst and mumbled, "But I suppose they'll be able to tell you about it."
"Indeed," said Madame Pomfrey a bit haughtily. "I recognized the symptoms immediately – the bruises, the fainting. You have a mild form of leukemia, Lily." She said it as gently as she could, but nothing that harsh could be said with much ease.
James' grip tightened considerably on her hand, and she continued, but Lily didn't hear her. Her voice had faded out, but not because she was about to faint. She was in shock. How is it that a 17-year-old girl can have leukemia? What sort of justice is that? What have I ever done to- She snapped back to the real world as a particular word caught her attention.
"Treatment?" As in getting better?
"Yes, dear. Now, as I was saying, I believe we've caught it early enough that it will be more than treatable. You'll need to come back Tuesday, and every Thursday after that for a new muggle treatment. We've been experimenting with it, and it's-"
"Can I leave yet?" Lily interrupted. She knew it was rude, but all of a sudden the walls were coming in on her. She had to get out.
"Absolutely not!" came Madame Pomfrey's curt reply.
"Now, Poppy, I don't think it will hurt her a bit, as long as she stays in her room and is well attended to, right Mr. Potter?"
"Albus! I will not have-" began Madame Pomfrey's lengthy objection, but it was quickly overrun by Dumbledore.
"I'm sure she'll be in perfectly capable hands, Poppy. No need for such a fuss."
"But, Albus!"
James gave a small smile of gratitude and said, "Yes, of course, sir."
With that, James carefully lifted her off of the bed. Lily gave a small gasp of surprise, but quickly settled into his arms like a child. As easily as she had lifted her earlier, she more than trusted him.
Lily smiled to herself as they made their way out of the ward -she could still hear Madame Pomfrey objecting to Professor Dumbledore's unhearing ear from down the hall.
To her luck, the halls were fairly empty; they passed no students or teachers. Filch's cat hissed loudly as they passed, and Sir Nicholas gave them an odd look and a nod, but they encountered nothing more exciting than that.
As they walked through the halls, Lily looked carefully up at James. He was looking straight ahead, a look on his face that she couldn't figure out. It showed a mix of concern, sadness, love, and something she couldn't quite put her finger on. It couldn't be fear.
She lifted a trembling hand and touched his cheek. He was her James. He would be strong for her. She knew it. She knew he knew she needed him to, but as he smiled sadly down at her, she almost thought she detected a tear in his eye.
When they arrived at the heads' quarters, James toted her all the way upstairs to her bed. Without a word, he brought her pajamas and busied himself with the fluffing of her pillows while she changed. He tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and made to leave.
Just as he stepped away, Lily's hand tightened on his, and she said, "James?"
He looked down at her helpless face and said, "Yes? Do you need something Lily?"
She looked up at him timidly. "Will you stay with me?" she asked, scooting over. She trusted him, and knew he wouldn't try anything, especially at a time like this. She needed him to be with her.
The tremble in her voice caused a forbidden sting in his eyes, threatening tears. He nodded, slipped off his shoes, and climbed in beside her, keeping silent for fear of his own tears. As he wrapped his arms around her, hoping she hadn't seen the tear, he thought, 'Has she always been this small?'
Just as he thought she was asleep, she whispered, "James?"
"Yes?"
She paused so long, he thought she may've fallen asleep, but she soon said, "I'm scared." Her voice trembled once again, and it broke his heart to see her this way. He instinctively clutched her tighter. He couldn't stand to think that she might… no! He refused to even think it!
How do you answer that? To be honest, he was scared, too – more scared than he'd been in his entire life. But he was supposed to be the strong one, the one that held her up, both physically and mentally. How was he supposed to help her, when he was as terrified as she was?
"I know, Lils. I know. Me, too." She sighed, but said nothing. He wasn't sure if he'd said the right thing or not, but it seemed to satisfy her for the time being. Had he not been so overwhelmed by the situation at hand, he would've enjoyed holding her close. She felt… right. Like she was supposed to be there. Like someone had planned it that way.
In a moment he felt her breath even out, meaning she was asleep. Comforted by the steadiness of her breathing and the fact that she was okay enough to sleep, he, too, allowed sleep to take him.
--
When Lily woke up, she wasn't sure what time it was. It was bright in her room, so it must've been fairly late in the afternoon. She thought back to what all had happened.
She had only slept in James' arms once before – last year during their final exams, they had fallen asleep on the couch in the Gryffindor common room, only to be ragged by their friends for the rest of the year. It felt… right. Like it was supposed to be that way. Like someone had planned it that way.
The door to her room creaked open a crack, and James' head popped in. When he saw Lily sitting up, obviously awake, he bounced over to the bed and plopped down in front of her.
"Hello, Lily dearest!" he said happily.
Lily was never a morning person, no matter how early her body clock forced her awake. She groaned and flopped back on her pillow.
"Well, aren't you just a little ray of sunshine this morning?" James said, smirking a bit.
Lily pulled her pillow over her head and grunted something incomprehensible.
The pillow was removed, and James' smiling face appeared over her, a bit of his black hair falling in his eyes, and said, "What are you talking about morning?" The most adorable face disappeared, and abruptly reappeared as he lifted her into his arms once again and headed toward the door.
"James!" she squealed. "Put me down! I can walk!"
"Oh, really?" he said, ignoring her demand and continuing to tote her down the stairs.
"James! I mean it! Put me-" Before the words were out of her mouth, she found herself "put down" over the back of the common room sofa.
James hopped easily over the back of the couch and landed beside Lily. "Ok, so what do you want to eat?"
She sent him a glare and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not very hungry right now, James."
"Au contraire, mon cherie!" he announced in a phony French accent. "'Oo are most definitely 'ungry! So, what shall eet be?" With a flip of his wand, a notepad, similar to the one Rosemerta toted in her apron, appeared in his hand and a pencil behind his ear. Without a thought, he grabbed the pencil and held it to point on the notepad.
Lily couldn't help but laugh aloud at his antics until he burst into a rage of mock-anger. "What eez zis? Are 'oo mocking moi? Fine! I'll just geet somzing for 'oo!" At this, he began scribbling like mad on the notepad, finally finishing with a flourish.
He tapped the notepad twice with his wand, mumbling something, and said aloud, "Off wit 'oo! And 'urry back!"
Lily laughed even more as it zoomed through the portrait hole. The accent was gone as James laughed and said, "Still laughing at me, are you?" She nodded and burst into giggles once again. He smiled. "Okay, listen. I'm going to go get Rina and Laurie, and then I've got to go shower. I never got a chance before our rounds yesterday, and that was after quidditch practice."
"I thought I smelt something," she said thoughtfully.
"Ehh, whatever you say." He kissed her and followed the flying notepad through the portrait hole.
It didn't seem like a whole minute before Sirius appeared through the portrait, calling her name. "Lily, dearest!" Remus walked in behind him, smiling kindly, but saying nothing. Peter followed Remus with a cautious, terrified look on his face that clearly said, "They forced me to come! I don't know what you've got, but I don't want it!"
Sirius rushed over and threw a blanket on her lap. He began to fiddle with it, pulled it up and down, fluffed the pillows, pinched her cheeks, and fussed over her in the most annoying ways possible until Remus came over and laid a firm hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stop.
"You'll have to forgive Padfoot, here. He doesn't know… well, he doesn't know much of anything, actually. Now, how are you Lily?"
Lily laughed at his remark, while Sirius stood with a most indignant look on his face. Just as she went to answer him, Rina came flying in, followed closely by Laurie. They were by her side in a second, quicker than Lily had thought humanly possible.
At first, Rina looked like she didn't know what to do. It was a most pitiful sight – Rina, the bold and the beautiful, standing there like a lost little girl. This was most unnerving for Lily, because Rina was always the strong one, the confident one, the one with all the answers.
"Sit," Lily said. Rina sat. She sat, and she looked at Lily. The whole world seemed to quiet in anticipation. All of a sudden, Rina's face twisted with the unmistakable urge to cry, and she leaned forward and hugged Lily tightly.
They had never been the most affectionate of friends, but they always knew where they stood with each other. Their friendship just was. No questions asked. When she pulled back, both were sniffling with red eyes and noses and a small wet spot could be seen on each girl's left shoulder.
Laurie was kneeling by the couch, her eyes watering as well. Sirius looked shocked, to say the least. Lily almost started laughing at how he began squirming. His expression practically screamed, "What the heck do I do with this?"
Remus stood calmly by his friend, a solemn look on his face. His hands were held at ease behind his back, ready to help. His resemblance to a butler was uncanny.
Rina and Laurie soon followed her gaze to the two boys and then back to each other. When their eyes met, all three burst out laughing. This reaction was much more in Sirius' territory, and, despite the consecutive polar reactions, he started giggling along with them.
But now it was Remus' turn to be shocked. His raised eyebrows and slightly open mouth made quite a sight of this butler. It only made them laugh more.
Amidst their laughter, they hadn't noticed James walk in with a tray in his hand. He gave them a look almost as strange as Remus', set the tray on the table, and took off toward the bathroom.
As an afterthought, he called over his shoulder, "Make sure she eats!"
A bit later, after Rina had practically forced half a bowl of soup, the crust of a muffin, and a cup of coffee down Lily's throat, James walked in, freshened up and smiling.
Peter had long fallen asleep in an arm chair by the fire and was snoring a bit. Sirius sat in the other arm chair, facing Rina and Lily on the couch, munching on the remains of the feast James had sent up. Laurie sat at Rina's feet, talking animatedly with her friends.
As he remained just out of view, he started stomping his feet and hollered, in an amazingly parent-like way, "And just what is going on in here! Didn't I tell you to make sure she ate?" Peter snapped awake, and Rina, Laurie, and Sirius sat with identical looks on their faces: eyes wide, eyebrows raised, and mouths slightly agape.
Lily, however, sat with an amused smile on her face, one eyebrow raised and her arms folded over her chest. James' rant slowly trailed off into an uncontrollable laugh. He fell back onto the couch between Rina and Lily, clutching his sides. Lily quickly joined him, and the others soon followed suit.
They spent the remainder of the evening together –well, Peter had fallen asleep again- talking and just enjoying each others' company. Laurie complained about her father, the boys debated over the latest Cannons-Tornados match, and, to her relief, Lily's leukemia was never addressed. She liked it better that way. In fact, the normalcy was a comfort to her in and of itself. It showed that her friends would be there for her no matter what.
When Peter's snores reached a level where they were all half-shouting to hear each other, Sirius kicked his foot to wake him up. It had long since gotten dark.
"Yeah, guys, I think it's time we all went to bed. I'm so t-t-tired," Laurie said through a stifled yawn, as if proving it. "Remus, will you walk with me? I've got a couple questions about that Defense essay." Her question was said as casually as possible, but a blush crept up her neck even as they made their way through the portrait hole.
As soon as they were gone, Sirius, Rina, James, and Peter burst out laughing. Lily raised an eyebrow at the cackling bunch and said, "Sirius, Rina! You've no room to speak! And you, of all people, James – you're not exactly the most discreet of people."
Rina instantly flushed a deep magenta color. Sirius had no shame, but even his cheeks tinted a light shade of pink at the mention of last night's… encounter.
Peter, bewildered as usual, said, "What? Why've they no room to speak?"
James just smiled and said, "Lighten up, Lils. It's all in good fun." Lily rolled her eyes.
Sirius stood and offered Rina his hand. He said, "Well love, I suppose we ought to take advantage of this lovely little spotlight, be bold, and make our exit together." Rina, still pink, took his hand, and they made their way toward the exit.
Just as they reached the portrait hole, though, Rina turned and ran back to Lily, giving her another hug. She whispered in her ear, "It's going to be okay. I promise, alright?" Lily nodded into her friend's shoulder, her eyes stinging once again with unshed tears again.
She pulled back a moment later, gave Lily one last smile, and walked quickly over to Sirius, who was waiting by the portrait hole. She boldly linked her arm through his, and they made their way out of the common room.
Peter looked to James and asked bluntly, "Are they going out?"
At this, even Lily laughed with James. Peter huffed at their reply and made his way out, mumbling something about, "…never tell me anything… always the last to find these things out…"
After he left, James looked to Lily and asked, "Now what?" She simply smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, then," he said. "I'll clean up here, and you go wash up. I know you've got to be tired. And, because you've been such a good girl today, I'll even let you walk."
"Oh, thanks," Lily said sarcastically, as she stood carefully, unsure of exactly how much of her weight her legs would allow. Her knees wobbled a bit, but only because she hadn't put proper use to them for a good 24 hours. She reached out and used James' shoulder to steady herself. He raised a concerned eyebrow.
"I can do this. I'm just fine." She leaned down and kissed him gently before making her way upstairs.
And to everyone's surprise, life went on. Classes started the next Monday. Lily's first treatment went well enough. It wasn't painful, but it left her sick and weak.
She had to go that Tuesday and then every Thursday for a month. Madame Pomfrey flooed her to St. Mungo's to an experimental treatment ward. She had been offered by Dumbledore to take a friend with her, but she felt it would be wrong to choose. And it would've been rude to ask to take them all.
The first week she went, she was very nervous, as was to be expected. Madame Pomfrey sat next to her, flipping casually through an old magazine. Eventually, a smiling young nurse came to the door and called her name.
"Go ahead, dear," Madame Pomfrey prompted gently. "I'll be right here when you're done."
Lily, not knowing what to expect, walked cautiously towards the nurse, her hands shaking like leaves. To her surprise, the nurse introduced herself.
"Miss Evans?" Lily nodded. "I'm Alice Longbottom. I'm going to take you back to Healer Smithers, and he'll perform the actual treatment." She saw the terror evident in Lily's face and gave her a sympathetic smile. "If you need anything just ask for Alice, okay?"
As Alice led her toward the back, Lily couldn't help but notice that she couldn't have been much older than Lily herself. But to Lily's surprise, Alice spoke up first.
"You go to Hogwarts, right?"
"Yes," Lily said. "Seventh year."
"I just graduated from Hogwarts year before last! What house are you in?" The girl was obviously excited at finding someone from her own school.
Even Lily had to smile and look up with curiosity. "Gryffindor. You?"
Alice let out a small squeal and said, with still more excitement, "Me, too!"
"Well, what are you doing here?" Lily asked. "Are you going to be a medi-witch?"
"Oh," said Alice, and her face fell a bit. "I had wanted to. That was the plan." They slowly made their way into the treatment room, where Alice began to absent-mindedly check Lily's vitals.
"And?" Lily prompted. "What happened?"
"I fell in love."
"Oh." Now Lily's face snapped into a look of suggestive surprise. "Did you…?"
Now Alice laughed. "Oh no! Nothing like that!" Lily blushed at her own assumption. "It's just… well, with the war and all, Frank wanted to be an auror."
"Is Frank your boyfriend?"
"Husband." Alice announced, beaming proudly, and presented a small ring on her left hand – fourth finger.
"Congratulations!" Lily exclaimed, examining the ring. "It's gorgeous!"
"Well, like I was saying," Alice continued, obviously pleased. "Frank wanted to be an auror. I could never be an auror. I worry about Frank as it is. So, I'm going to be his personal medi-witch. When I get through with my internship – which should be sometime this spring, I hope – I'll be on the field officially." She smiled bravely, but Lily detected a bit of fear in her eyes.
"That's amazing," Lily said, and she meant it.
The healer came in and introduced himself, asking questions and making small talk as he performed the treatment. Lily supposed she answered appropriately when necessary, but her mind was rushing through the things Alice had told her. It hit her all of a sudden, that if this leukemia didn't kill her, the war just might.
Sure, she'd considered being an auror, but with all that had happened lately, the war had hardly made its way into her thoughts. And at Hogwarts, other than the occasional news from the Daily Prophet, the war was pretty much out of sight and out of mind.
The healer shook her hand politely and sent her on her way, but the daze continued. She couldn't get Alice out of her head. The girl was no older than Lily, and yet she was doing all she could.
That night in the common room, Lily spoke up. "James?"
"Yeah, Lils?" He didn't even look up from the parchment he'd been focusing on.
"What are we doing?" Slightly exasperated, he looked up and gave her a slightly-annoyed, slightly concerned smile.
"Well, we are currently slaving away over a particularly nasty potions essay on 'the Wolfsbane Potion and the effect of each ingredient within it,' which you will have no problem getting an O on, but not because you're Slughorn's pet, and I may manage a P on, but because Slughorn hates me." He paused and took a breath. "Why, what do you want to be doing?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.
Lily laughed and said, "No, James, not now. I meant, what are we going to be doing after we leave Hogwarts?"
"Well," James began, taking his hand in hers, "we'll each get thoroughly productive, well-paying jobs in the ministry. We'll work until we decide to have kids, at which point we'll move out the London countryside, have ten or twelve kids, get a dog, and grow old together. But in the meantime, I have to finish this essay, or I won't pass potions." He withdrew his hand, and went back to his essay.
Lily thought that sounded very nice, but she knew it wasn't reasonable. In fact, to her is seemed impossible. "But James," she said, feeling her voice shake and her eyes sting with the warning of coming tears. "There's a war going on."
James' quill froze over his parchment. He slowly set it down, sighing. He was more than aware of the war going on. In fact, just earlier that day while Lily had gone to her first treatment, Professor Dumbledore sent him an owl, requesting his immediate presence in his office.
He had introduced James to a new, secret anti-Voldemort organization called the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore explained to him what they did. Then, to James' shock, he invited James to join them! He explained what all James would have to do and all of the risks.
When he had finished, he said, "Now, James, I don't want an answer now or even today. I want you to think about it for a while, and when you've made your decision, you know where to find me."
James had nodded, his heart heavy with all that Dumbledore had told him. As he had stood to leave, it had hit him – What about Lily?
He asked Dumbledore, but the older professor had simply said, "Let's not tell Miss Evans just yet. I think just now she has more than enough to handle, don't you agree?" He did agree, more than he told Dumbledore.
He couldn't tell Lily, so he just pulled her over to him and held her close, as if he could protect her if he held her close enough. "James," she said, tears now streaming down her face. "What are we going to do?"
He kissed her hair and said, "I don't know, Lils. I don't know."
Author's Note: I know, I know. It's not up in half the time I said it would be. So sorry. Thanks once again to my beta, Julia Holtemore. If you haven't already, definitely check out her stuff! Thanks to everyone for my 7 reviews! ;) So tell me, what do you think?
-inky.