A/N: I imagine much of the following chapter would take place in Vulcan, but as mentioned numerous times previously, I am lazy and not quite as adept at translating English to Vulcan as I am of, say, English to French. Although, now that I think about it, I'm not very good at that either. My best friend was a French major. All questions about French get directed to her.
Yon-ek'zer: ruby
K'lalatar prkori k'lalatar: Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations
Thanks for the reviews! I'm so glad to see that you guys came back to read this, even after I fell off the face of the Earth.
Chapter Nine: An Unwelcome Visitor
Boredom was not an emotion; it was a state of being. But Vulcans did not acknowledge boredom, no matter what it could be classified as. "A bored mind is a lazy mind, an undeveloped mind," was a popular saying among Vulcan parents. If one was bored, he or she was simply not trying hard enough. There was always something to do, something to learn. According to Vulcan myth, the idea for space travel had been formulated because a Vulcan was bored one night and lay staring at the stars, wondering what they were and if it were possible to get closer to them. Many scientific achievements had been discovered because the Vulcans who had discovered them were attempting to alleviate boredom. In short, a Vulcan should never be bored.
T'Pol was bored. In fact, she could not remember a time when she had been more bored than she was at this particular moment. She repeated the word over and over in her head. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. She had to stop herself from tilting her head back and forth in time with her inner mantra; she was supposed to be paying attention to General V'Lin – head of the small and somewhat ill-equipped Vulcan military – but after spending so long among humans, the virtual flatness of the general's tone had T'Pol actually wishing for an overly-emotional conversation with her cousin. Kamea may have been hotheaded, but at least she was interesting. T'Pol could not say the same for V'Lin.
Besides, the head tilt while saying "bored" repeatedly reminded her of something Commander Tucker might do in a similar situation. Thinking of Trip was unpleasant, as it only served to remind her that she may very well never see him again, and they had never exchanged proper goodbyes.
Perhaps that was the way Trip wanted it. He had been avoiding her ever since she had informed him that she was being recalled to Vulcan. He made it a point to never be in the same room as her for long periods of time. He left the mess hall if he saw her arriving, sometimes abandoning his food mid-meal. He sent Kamea to the bridge in his stead, unless Captain Archer specifically requested his presence. If engineering had a question for the science department, he directed it to Lieutenant Carver, her second in command. It had only been a few days, but it felt like much longer.
Worst of all was the fact that she could feel his pain through their bond. He was hurting, but what he failed to realize is that so was she. She was no happier with this change in events than he was. She did not want to remain on Vulcan with Koss; she did not want to bear his children or be his doting wife. But she would, if he requested it, because it was expected of her. For too long she had been neglecting her heritage, doing things that most Vulcans would never dream of doing. She needed to be a traditional Vulcan wife, no matter how much she detested and loathed the man to whom she was married.
If only she had been given the opportunity to explain this to Trip, perhaps he would not have reacted so harshly to her announcement. But she knew that to be a lie. Trip would have been upset no matter how she felt about it. He did not like Koss, he did not like that she was married to Koss, and he did not like that she intended to stay married to Koss.
She just wished that she had gotten to say goodbye.
She expected that had been purposeful. She and the others had barely been on Vulcan five minutes before V'Las and Soval had spirited her away. Though she did not agree with Captain Archer's decision to personally bring her to the High Command after Ambassador Soval had informed him that the Vulcans were sending a shuttle, even she had to admit that the administrator arresting them for violating a non-existent order was a little rash.
It seemed very much like something a human would do. But T'Pol wisely held her tongue and allowed the guards to lead her to one of the lecture halls in the High Command's headquarters for her briefing. The hall was nearly full – others, like her, who had been recalled from active duty on other planets or starships – and she had taken a seat near the front, so as to appear interested. But she was not interested. This…conflict…between the Syrannites and the High Command, it had nothing to do with her. She was a member of Starfleet, not the High Command, and she technically did not answer to them anymore.
However, if she returned to Vulcan under the guise of loyalty to her people, she could perhaps better probe the bizarre circumstances surrounding the disappearance of her mother. Koss had not given her many details, but she suspected that was because he did not know them. According to the message that he sent to her, T'Les had simply vanished. He had gone to check on her when she did not report for work one morning and found the house empty. There was no sign of a struggle, and she had left no note. She was just gone.
If this incessant briefing should happen to have an end sometime in the near future, T'Pol intended to use what little free time she would be given before having to report for duty to stop by her mother's house and investigate. It was not that she did not trust Koss; she wanted to see the evidence for herself.
And she did not trust Koss.
Finally, V'Lin finished his lecture, something T'Pol only realized because the others around her were rising from their seats. She stood and quickly made her way through the crowd to the exit, intending to sneak away before receiving her assignment. Unfortunately, in her haste to get away, she bumped into the last person on the planet she wanted to see.
"Greetings, T'Pol," said Koss. He held up his hand, and she knew he expected her to touch her fingers to his. It was a traditional greeting for married couples. T'Pol would have coolly ignored him and continued on her way to the door, but quite a few people were watching them with more than a passing interest, so she grudgingly obliged.
"Hello, Koss." She attempted to sidestep him and continue on her way, but he mirrored her actions and blocked her path. "Did you want something?"
"Only to see my wife," he said. "In case you may have forgotten, it has been months since we were last together."
T'Pol gritted her teeth. "I had not forgotten." She attempted to sidestep him once more, but he stepped in front of her again. "That is extremely irritating."
Koss cocked an eyebrow. "So are your constant attempts to get away from me. Have I done something to offend you?"
T'Pol permitted an imperceptible sigh. She may not have wanted to be Koss's wife, but she could not deny that he had been incredibly accommodating of their situation. He had not asked her to remain on Vulcan for the customary year following their marriage, but had instead allowed her to return to Enterprise immediately after the ceremony. He had contacted her about her mother's disappearance, he had given her a heads up about the High Command's orders, and he had said nothing about her bond with Commander Tucker, of which he would have been aware.
"No," she said quietly. "You haven't."
Koss nodded to the hallway behind T'Pol, down which the others were quietly filing. "You weren't thinking of leaving before receiving your assignment, were you?"
T'Pol shook her head, though that had been her intention. However, she did not want to give Koss the satisfaction of knowing that he had guessed that. "I simply wished to – "
"Investigate your mother's disappearance?" She must have been visibly surprised, because he said, "It is what I would do, were I in your situation." He turned slightly at the waist and eyed the empty corridor behind him. "Would you like me to escort you?"
No, that is exactly the opposite of what I would like. She clenched her jaw. "If you wish."
They took a public, open-air shuttle, which stopped at the end of the very long and relatively dusty road that led to T'Les's house. They had to walk the rest of the way, which passed in uncomfortable silence. T'Pol had nothing to say to Koss, and he seemed to recognize that, so he remained quiet as well. T'Pol idly glanced down at the path and immediately thought of something.
"Did you happen to notice a disturbance in the dirt?" she asked.
Koss shook his head. "Nothing out of the ordinary, though any footprints would be circumstantial. They would most likely have belonged to T'Les."
T'Pol nodded. Much as she hated to admit it, it was true. Her heart gave a little lurch as she though about what Trip's response to her question would be.
A disturbance? he would say, in that southern drawl of his that was positively endearing. What do you mean, like, now? He either would not have realized that she was referring to the day her mother disappeared, or he would have realized exactly what she was referring to and was trying to anger her. He seemed to enjoy doing that, for reasons she could not really understand.
"I trust your trip was eventful," Koss said after a while. She kept her eyes on the black spot on the horizon that was her mother's residence and said nothing in response to his bizarre statement. "Were you in the quadrant? From what I understand, Enterprise received Soval's message only a few days ago."
"Admiral Forrest," T'Pol said, slipping uncharacteristic bite into her voice, "contacted Captain Archer three days ago. We were in the Alpha Quadrant, near Denobula."
Koss raised his eyebrows. "That is quite a distance to travel in only three days."
"Commander Tucker has been experimenting with the warp drive. Enterprise is able to travel at slightly greater speeds."
If Koss was annoyed with her mention of Trip, he did not show it, not that she had expected him to. She was the one more likely to have an emotional reaction. Koss folded his arms behind his back. "I did not think humans possessed that knowledge at this point in time."
T'Pol did not miss his accusatory tone. "Just what are you insinuating?"
"I did not mean to imply that you had anything to do with that," Koss said, though it was evident that that was precisely what he meant to imply. "I was merely stating that humans have neither the technology nor the knowledge to pass warp five, and I am aware of your…relationship…with Commander Tucker – "
She immediately raised her defenses – if not for the comment about Trip, than for the implication that she had relayed classified information to the Enterprise engineering crew. "Commander Tucker is an extremely gifted engineer. He was a member of the team who reached warp three, along with Captain Archer." She paused, unsure if she should continue with her explanation. After all, Kamea was the main instigator behind Enterprise's upgrades, and T'Pol was certain that the High Command did not wish for Kamea's existence to be made public.
Koss held up his hands in a gesture of concession. "It was not my intention to insult you or any of the crew of Enterprise. It was a simple statement."
He was lying, T'Pol could tell. She chose not to comment. "It is of no consequence," she said, "because Enterprise has been unable to pass warp five as of yet. It lacks the proper structural components. However, in the past we were not able to exceed warp four-point-five for extended periods of time."
"And now Enterprise is able to do so?"
"Yes."
Koss once again folded his arms behind his back. "Still, it is an amazing achievement. To accomplish it in only a few months, without access to a space dock…" He trailed off, leaving the implication of his next few words hanging in the air.
T'Pol was immensely relieved when her mother's house finally came into view. She opened the gate that led to the courtyard, but before she could shut it, Koss slipped in. She tried and failed to hide her disappointment that he had decided to remain. "You asked if you could escort me," T'Pol said, hoping that her annoyance was not reflected in her voice. "We have arrived. You may leave now."
"I had thought," Koss said, moving past her, along the stone path, to the door to the house, "that perhaps you would want me to stay. I was hardly detailed in my message, as I was afraid it may have been intercepted."
The way he said "intercepted" had T'Pol on immediately on guard. The last message he had sent her on Enterprise was years ago, only a few months into the mission, asking her to return to Vulcan and fulfill the obligations of their engagements. He had sent it encrypted, rousing suspicion from several of Enterprise's crewmembers – most notably Commander Tucker. Trip had thought, at the time, that she was spying on Enterprise for the High Command, only to discover the truth behind the message. She had not informed anyone, with the exception of Trip, what was in the message. But the inflection in Koss's voice, the way the word came out of his mouth, it made her wonder if his bond with her was stronger than hers was with him.
After all, she had bonded with Trip before bonding with Koss, so it was a distinct possibility.
"I assumed that you would want to ask me some questions," Koss said, continuing without pause. "About the day your mother disappeared. I'm happy to assist in any way I can."
Surak, give me strength, thought T'Pol, quickly realizing that Koss was not about to leave. What made her think that she could possibly stomach being married to this man for the rest of her life? One of her earlier conversations with Kamea suddenly came to mind, when T'Pol had asked about her parents' unusual relationship.
Where is the logic, Kamea had said, in marrying someone you do not love?
T'Pol pushed her cousin's voice out of her brain – thinking along those lines would only serve to upset her – and stalked past Koss and into the house.
It was as Koss had said. There were no signs of struggle – no furniture was overturned, no ornaments were out of place, no stacks of paper were askew; nothing to suggest that T'Les had been forcibly removed from the property. If it were T'Pol, she would have put up a fight if she were surprised in her home, and she imagined that T'Les would do the same. Though, now that she thought about it, her mother was slightly more subdued. Perhaps T'Les would see the logic in simply going along with her captor's wishes rather than run the risk of being injured or killed. However, T'Pol continued to slowly make her way through the house, looking for any clues as to what had happened and finding absolutely nothing. She was beginning to think that this was a complete waste of her time when something on the floor of her mother's bedroom caught her eye.
She knelt down to examine the object and discovered that it was a pendant. The pendant was a circle pierced with a triangle; at the apex of the triangle was a yon-ek'zer. The entire thing was made of gold. T'Pol cocked her head to the side, staring at the pendant. It was the only thing out of place in the entire house, and though T'Pol had never seen it before, it looked old enough to be an heirloom. She picked up the pendant and held it gingerly in her hand.
Koss came up behind her, a little closer than she normally would have allowed, and leaned slightly over her to see what she had found. "An IDIC pendant," he said. "Interesting."
T'Pol stood. "K'lalatar prkori k'lalatar? Are you certain?"
"Yes. Surely you must have seen the symbol before?"
She had – at the monastery at P'Jem, in the temple at Mount Seleya. Never on a golden pendant in her mother's bedroom. What was it doing on the floor? Was this the sign of struggle for which she had been searching? Had T'Les possibly been holding this at the time she was surprised by her abductors, and had dropped in to leave a clue? Or had she not realized that she had dropped it?
T'Pol was just wondering if perhaps she was overanalyzing things when something that sounded suspiciously like a shuttle pod came unusually close to the house. It sounded as if it were landing just outside, but that was impossible. The only thing in the area was T'Les's house. What business could anyone possibly have here?
Koss had turned in the direction of the sound. "Are you expecting company?" he asked.
She shot him a pointed look. "Who would know that I was here?"
She slipped the pendant around her neck and tucked it into her shirt, so that it was not visible. Then she walked into the main room, intending to peer out the window to see what she could determine, but she stopped in her tracks as soon as she walked through the doorway.
Trip was standing there, fingering the furniture almost reverently.
The house was just as he remembered it. It didn't look like anything had changed. He wondered absently if T'Les had ever gotten the food synthesizer repaired. Probably, he thought. It's been months. He glanced idly out the window and saw that the others had all stopped in the courtyard and were talking about something. He considered joining them outside, but his mind suddenly grew fuzzy, which could mean only one thing, though it seemed unlikely.
"Trip?"
He knew that voice. He would have known that voice even if he were deaf. He hadn't needed to hear her voice, anyway. He could sense her presence; he could practically smell her. She was everywhere. He turned around, and there she was – T'Pol.
Trip opened his mouth to say something but was distracted by movement behind T'Pol. His eyes narrowed as that bastard Koss exited what Trip knew to be T'Les's bedroom and came up directly beside T'Pol. "Commander Tucker," said Koss. "I didn't expect to see you."
"Same here," said Trip. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. He thought T'Pol was being briefed on the situation. What was she doing here in the middle of the day, coming out of her mother's bedroom with Koss right behind her? His desire to leave Vulcan far, far behind was only growing the longer they remained on the planet. He wished Soval would just drop off Kamea and let them go back to Enterprise.
"What are you doing here?" T'Pol asked. She slowly inched away from Koss. The gesture was small, barely noticeable, but Trip saw. He wondered if she were doing that because she couldn't stand to be around Koss or because she generally couldn't stand to be that close to anyone. She let Trip be that near to her, but they had spent months in close quarters before she would allow him that luxury.
However, he couldn't ignore the sudden surge of guilt that he knew wasn't his.
Trip jerked his thumb over his shoulder, indicating the others out in the courtyard. Whatever they were discussing, it seemed pretty intense. "Kamea didn't want to stay at headquarters, or whatever that building is, so Soval brought her here."
"Who is Kamea, and why would Soval bring her here?" Koss asked.
T'Pol looked genuinely confused. "Why does Kamea have to stay?"
Right. She wouldn't know anything about that, having been shuffled out of sight practically the minute they touched down on the surface. "V'Las wants Vulcan doctors to examine her."
"He doesn't trust Phlox's findings?" Trip just looked at her, and she nodded. "Of course he doesn't. She'll be staying here alone, then?"
Trip shook his head. He wanted to smile but just couldn't bring himself to do it. "Captain wouldn't allow it. Malcolm's going hang around, keep her company."
Her raised eyebrows were amusing enough, but he still couldn't smile. "Is that wise?"
Koss interrupted, displaying as much anger as a Vulcan would permit. "Who is Kamea?"
Before Trip could answer – he seemed to be getting preemptively interrupted a lot lately – he heard someone calling his name. "Trip!" It was Kamea, and that girl had a set of lungs. Her shouts echoed in the courtyard.
"Trip!" That was Captain Archer. He also had quite a set of pipes. He usually only got that loud after a couple shots of scotch.
Kamea and Archer's shouts were joined by Malcolm's, "Commander Tucker!"
Trip sighed. They obviously hadn't noticed that he had entered the house. He wondered how long it would take them to realize that he hadn't disappeared and was just inside, but as he was thinking that, the front door opened and Kamea walked into the house.
"Whoa," she said upon entering, "déjà vü."
Archer was right behind her. "You've been saying that for fifteen minutes. It's starting to get on my nerves."
Malcolm followed close behind the captain. "Starting to? She's been getting on my nerves for months now."
Kamea snorted. "Yeah, well, I haven't exactly heard you complaining."
"Not to your face."
Trip loudly cleared his throat, and Kamea threw up her hands in obvious frustration. "See? I told you he was in here. The sooner you all learn that I'm always right, the better off we'll all be."
She walked towards him, but slowed her pace when she noticed that Trip was not the only person in the room. "T'Pol," she said, though she didn't sound surprised. Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized Koss. Trip made it a point to ask her what she thought about him; he was suddenly quite anxious to learn her opinion. "And this must be Koss." Her hands twitched, as though she was about to shake his hand.
"Hello," Koss said. He looked uncomfortable. Trip made a mental note to thank Kamea for her impeccable timing later. "And you are?"
"Kamea. T'Pol's cousin." She paused momentarily, and everyone watched Koss for signs of a reaction. Kamea gave him a slight smile. "I'm guessing she didn't mention that." Koss opened his mouth to say something, but Kamea obviously wasn't done. "Not that I really expected her to. I get the feeling she's still kind of adjusting to the knowledge."
"T'Pol," Trip said, slowly and clearly, "what are you doing here?"
The guilt had returned full force, with a side order of panic, and Trip knew that the next words out of T'Pol's mouth were going to be a lie. "I wished to pick up a few things before I left on assignment."
He would have believed that, were she holding anything. Ordinarily, he would have given her the benefit of the doubt, but the presence of Koss negated any of the goodwill he would normally have shown her. He knew she would see right through his act, but damnit, he was jealous, and he wasn't thinking clearly, and if he behaved like a jackass now, it wouldn't be any different from the way he'd been acting the past couple of days anyway. But she was hiding something, he could tell. He desperately wanted to know what.
He nodded at her noticeably empty hands. "Like what?"
T'Pol's eyes hardened. "It is none of your concern."
But apparently, it's Koss's, he thought bitterly. After all, the guy was T'Pol's husband, much as Trip hated to acknowledge it. His stomach churned as he thought of all the reasons T'Pol and Koss could have come to her mother's empty house in the middle of the day.
Archer coughed, obviously uncomfortable. "Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you're here, T'Pol," he said. "I was kind of hoping we'd get the chance to tell you goodbye."
She stiffened. "I had hoped to do the same." Trip knew she had set a lot of her goodbyes – to Hoshi, to the members of her team, to Phlox – on Enterprise. She had remained stoic throughout them, but Trip could tell that she was falling apart on the inside, and she was just too Vulcan to admit that she was going to miss everyone. She'd lived on Enterprise for more than four years; it was her home more than Vulcan was, and she didn't want to leave it.
But she was, and that was the important thing. As much as he hated the thought of her leaving, he'd known all along that she would. It was her duty, and she would do it.
She said her goodbyes – first Travis, then Malcolm, Soval, Archer, Kamea… Each one got something personal in addition to the traditional Vulcan salute. Kamea threw her arms around T'Pol, who seemed momentarily startled, but allowed the younger Vulcan to embrace her, albeit briefly. Lastly, she came to him. As she stood in front of him, looking so beautiful and tired and like she was going to burst into tears at any moment, Trip wanted nothing more than to grab her, carry her out to the shuttle pod, and fly off into the sunset. But he automatically went into self-protection mode and threw up the defenses before she could sense what he really wanted to do.
"Don't drag out no long goodbye or anything," he said, with a little more malice than he intended. Even he winced at the callousness of his tone. "Wouldn't want you to be late for your assignment."
T'Pol looked as though she had been slapped across the face. Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes watered – but only for a moment, and then the mask had returned. "Indeed. I certainly wouldn't want to keep you from whatever alien species may want to impregnate you this time."
Trip's jaw hit the floor. He knew he'd never live that incident with the Xyrillians down, but for T'Pol to bring it up right now, like this, in front of Koss… It hurt more than he cared to admit. He glanced around at the others and saw that Kamea's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter.
She snorted abruptly, and when Trip leveled a glare in her direction, she said, "And I thought I had bad luck."
He turned back to T'Pol, intent on giving her a piece of his mind, but she turned on her heel and stalked out the front door.
"It was nice to see you again, Commander Tucker," said Koss, before he followed T'Pol outside.
The others watched them go. Kamea cocked an eyebrow. "So that's Koss, huh?" she asked, a distinct note of appreciation in her voice. "Cute."
"What?" Trip said, noticing that he wasn't the only person who had that same reaction. Malcolm looked positively livid – probably couldn't stand the idea of Kamea admitting that someone who was not him was attractive.
Kamea shrugged, not the least bit apologetic. "I'm just saying. Girl could do worse."
Trip sighed and scrubbed his hands across his face. That was not what he needed to hear at this particular moment in time. He had just let T'Pol walk away from him without telling her any of what he felt, because what he felt, there weren't any words to describe it adequately. He may never see her again, and the last thing he wanted was for her last memory of him to be of him acting like a jackass, but when he was hurt, he tended to act without thinking. And he was hurt – so emotionally hurt that it physically hurt. But now T'Pol was gone, and he hadn't told her anything. He hadn't even told her "goodbye".
When he dropped them and looked at the others, he found that they were all staring at him – including Soval. "What?"
Archer raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. "You're not going to let her leave like that, are you?"
Trip folded his arms defiantly across his chest. "So what if I am?" he asked, his tone more than a little defensive.
"Sheesh, you're an idiot," Kamea said.
"Trip," Archer said, his voice soothing, "you have to go after her. You can't let that be it."
Trip couldn't speak. Since when had Archer been all gung ho about his and T'Pol's relationship – or lack thereof? Now he was practically ordering him to run off and tell T'Pol everything. He also couldn't believe that they were discussing this in front of Soval, of all people.
"Pride, Commander," Kamea said, "is not exclusively a Vulcan trait. Sooner or later, you have to swallow it."
He could feel tears burning his eyes, but he wasn't about to cry in front of everyone.
Kamea continued, undeterred. "You let her go, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
Trip jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes to stop the tears. Kamea had no right to lecture him about his love life, since she was obviously in love with Malcolm and hadn't done anything about it. But he couldn't help but admit that she had a point. If he didn't at least tell T'Pol goodbye properly, he would never forgive himself.
Damn. Why does life have to be so damn hard?
"Fine," he said, practically spitting the word out. "If it'll get y'all off my back."
He deliberately stormed out of the house, but as soon as he was in the courtyard, he took off at a run. He had to catch T'Pol before she got too far away. Luckily, she hadn't gotten far. He could still plainly see her and Koss in the near distance, walking in the direction of the main road. He caught up to them in a matter of minutes, though he was out of breath when he reached them.
"T'Pol," he said, through his wheezes. He gasped and clutched a stitch in his side. It had been a while since he'd done any serious running. "Wait a minute."
He could tell that she was still hurt, but to her credit she didn't punch him. "Yes, Commander?"
"I – I've got to tell you something," Trip said, still panting. Man, he was out of shape. He'd have to start working out on a more regular basis. "I just wanted to say – "
"What is that?" Koss asked, pointing at something off to their right, near a jumble of large boulders a ways from the path.
Trip had never wanted to kill anyone or anything more than he wanted to kill Koss at that moment. He hoped he sounded sincerely annoyed when he said, "What is what?"
Koss ignored him, walking towards the rocks and motioning that T'Pol should follow. "There appears to be something on one of those boulders."
T'Pol shot Trip a longing glance, but followed Koss to the rocks. When Trip had managed to catch his breath, he joined them. No one said anything. Whatever Koss claimed to have seen (Trip suspected it was all a ploy to prevent Trip from confessing what Koss must have known he was going to confess), Trip couldn't see it. The silence was starting to get to him, and after they had stared at the rocks for a few minutes, Trip had had enough.
"Well," he said, "this is fascinating, but I don't – "
"You don't see it?" T'Pol asked. There was a waver in her voice that immediately sent a chill up Trip's spine. Something was obviously wrong.
Trip shook his head. "See what?"
Koss pointed to a dark spot on one of the nearer boulders. "Blood."