Dun-dun! I have updated! Go me!
I know it's late I mean … (looks over at BYNK and weeps) … nevermind.
Err I have nothing to say save for "sorry" if I missed anything while correcting this.
Enjoy
MIRROR 5
Iruka's eyes opened mechanically as if he were just blinking. The room he was in was too clear. His mind registered the setting in three seconds flat before he sat up with a jerk only to be pulled back by the wires and nodes attached around his temple and the back of his head. A little cry escaped Iruka's lips as his arms instinctively reached for his head to rip off the offending things holding him back. Iruka's fingers were shaking and as pale as his face. He didn't even cry out when he ripped the sticky tape stuck on to his temple to hold the nodes in place nor did he notice how many of his hair strands got caught within the harsh and panicked pulls of his fingers. The nodes and wires clattered to the ground like red, green and blue snakes. It coiled and swung from the force Iruka flung them off with. Wide eyes fell to the back of his wrist, eyeing the IV tube attached to it and just as he was reaching out to grab it and get rid of the 'offending' thing, two hands pinned him down the bed, making him thrash and fight the person holding him down. It was only when a sharp voice cut through his panicked mind did he calm down.
"Iruka-sensei! Calm down!" Raidou glared down at him, pinning Iruka's hands to the sides of his head where brown hair laid splayed all across the pillow. "Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."
Iruka stared up in silence up at him, reality dawning in his head. He knew that face and it clicked in his mind as Namiashi Raidou. He blinked once, twice then just stared. "R-Raidou-san?"
Raidou smiled down at him softly. "The one and only." Iruka's cheeks stained a bright red at the proximity of Raidou's face. Lips parted to mutter something while Raidou continued staring down at the Academy teacher. It was but a few seconds later, when Raidou's cheeks also stained red did he let go of Iruka's wrists and moved back a good and polite distance, avoiding eye contact with the Chuunin. A moment of long silence passed between the two, until Iruka chose to sit up cautiously, face still a bit red from the previous blush.
"Why am I here?" Iruka asked, gaze dropping to the wires coiled at the foot of the bed. He then took note of the pulse and brain wave monitor beside him, showing him a straight and clean flat line.
"Hokage-sama wants to examine you." Raidou replied and this time, he was looking at Iruka's face. Iruka visibly stiffened at the Jounin's reply. "She was worried."
Iruka swung his foot to one side of the bed. "I'm going home."
"You're on strict orders to remain here." Raidou warned.
"There's nothing wrong with me." Iruka said, tone in denial obviously.
"That's not what Hokage-sama –"
"There is nothing wrong with me." Iruka hissed, this time freely jerking off the IV needle from the back of his wrist that slowly started to bleed. "I'm going home."
"If I have to pin you down again, I will do so. If you could only see –" Raidou tried reasoning.
"You don't know anything about me! I'm telling you that there is nothing wrong! I'm just tired!" Iruka hopped off the bed and searched for his sandals, finding it in one corner of the room. "Let me go home. I'll sleep it off. I just need some sleep."
"You've been asleep sensei!" Raidou pointed out. "For nearly a week!"
Iruka froze in his motions and looked up at Raidou. "What?"
"You've been asleep for six days. After you've fainted in front of Hokage-sama –"
"I'm going home." Iruka said tensely, hands moving even faster to strap his sandals on.
"Sensei." Raidou's voice dropped, eyes narrowing while a dangerous glint started to glow within the dark irises. "You want to tell me what's going on?"
"There's nothing to tell." Iruka said, standing up and grabbing his flak jacket that was folded over one of the chairs beside his bed.
"Of course there isn't." Raidou said sarcastically. "You've only been acting strangely and saying funny things." Raidou could never erase that teacup incident from his head. Genma's confiding and wonders about the Academy teacher only added up to his doubts and thinking.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Iruka gathered his hair up in a ponytail and pulled out one of the spare rubber bands he kept in his pocket to tie his hair.
"What is going on, sensei?" Raidou pressed and when Iruka didn't react and kept on straightening the creases on his pants, Raidou shoved him to a chair, and pinned him there by the shoulders, staring right in to Iruka's eyes, trying to read something. Anything. "I'll ask again. What is going on, sensei?"
Iruka stared widely at Raidou, heart banging against his ribs. Shaky tanned-pale hands moved to push the Jounin away. As soon as Iruka's hand connected with the broad and strong chest of the Jounin pinning him captive to the chair, dark brown eyes slid shut, a deep and slow gasp escaping his lips as the surroundings melted and swirled to that of the Academy training ground with Iruka sitting in one of the benches, solemnly looking at the dirt ground.
A shadow cast over the sitting Academy teacher. Iruka looked up, face marked by complete loss and loneliness as he tried to force a smile of greeting at the scarred Jounin before him.
"It's okay." Raidou said, smiling. "It's okay, Iruka."
"Raidou …"
In less than seconds, Iruka was in Raidou's arms, being held tight and warm, the feeling of safety washing over the Chuunin. Raidou was rubbing the back of his neck, whispering soothing words to the Chuunin's ears, eyes closed.
And Iruka was smiling.
The vision disappeared and Iruka found himself staring at Raidou's face, unsure and completely at loss after the vision he saw.
"R-Raidou …" Iruka breathed out, eyes a bit hazy from the vision until the door knob turned. Raidou stepped back a good two feet away from the Chuunin. The door opened to reveal Tsunade stepping in with Genma behind her. Iruka turned alarmed eyes up to the Hokage who came to stand in front of him. Of course, the very male part of Iruka's mind took note that indeed, upon closer proximity, the Hokage's bust is in fact very, very large. He finds himself swallowing at the sight of that serious medic-Hokage expression in ties with those large bust lines.
"Leave. The both of you." Tsunade directed the words at the two Jounins.
Genma looked absolutely reluctant to leave, the expression of I-just-got-here crossing his handsome face until Raidou ushered him out of the room. Iruka turned to look at the leaving Jounins, a begging look crossing his pale face that only fell upon turned backs. Once the door knob clicked shut quietly behind the two, Iruka found himself swallowing hard. He turned to look at the Hokage and found himself unable to meet those tight and serious hazel eyes. Iruka kept his gaze to the ground, unmoving and so stiff that he nearly jumped off his skin when the Hokage knelt before him to take his bleeding hand from the previously wrenched IV tube and started healing it. The soft green glow of one of the many techniques used by the infamous medic made Iruka feel fuzzy and warm from the inside. He watched with unblinking eyes as the small wound healed shut. A feeling of shame washed over him like a tidal wave. Iruka knew that Tsunade could be trusted with his gift, just like the Third had been. After all, as Hokage, it is Tsunade's duty to take care of her people. As a medic, she is also responsible for them in their times of need. Iruka suddenly felt so small and so worthless that he started to shake.
Tsunade stood up and tilted Iruka's chin upwards so that she can see his expression. She didn't look strict or 'terrifying' as how Jiraiya puts it. In fact, she looked understanding. The expression the Hokage wore only made Iruka feel even smaller.
"You've been experiencing some frequent headaches." Tsuande said, and moved to smooth Iruka's hair, like a mother to a child. She pulled the messy ponytail free and started to untangle the knots that were present with her fingers. "There is too much stress on your mind that the brain can't handle it anymore that it shuts down. Or restart, as some medics would say." She then pushed the loose strands behind Iruka's ear, placing the hair tie in his pale hand. "And you know why." Iruka nodded in reply. "Tell me."
Iruka looked at her, hesitating then nodded. He told her everything, from the moment it started to the current visions he was seeing. All the while, he couldn't look in to the Hokage's face, cheeks flushed from sheer shame.
"I'm sorry." Iruka finally mumbled, after some silence passed. "I was afraid."
Tsunade merely smiled at him and pulled him to his feet. "I know that not a lot of the shinobis here trust me yet. I know you were close to the Third. I'm not like him." Tsunade placed her hands on Iruka's shoulder. "And I understand your fear. It's all right. But I'd like you to know that I will help you in any way that I can. I'm just concerned about you. You are one of my shinobis and it is my responsibility to look out for your well being."
Iruka didn't know if his shame can grow any worse than it was at the current moment. "Yes, Hokage-sama."
Tsunade nodded, patting his shoulders. "Unfortunately, this is probably something I cannot help you with save perhaps provide you with prescriptions for headaches and stress if in need. It is, how you say it, a phenomenon. Even in the medical field. A gift or a curse, that is up to you to how you see it. But the Third is right. You can't always save everyone." She gave him an understanding look. "Everyone loses someone one way or the other. It's not always your fault."
Iruka was now looking at his toes. "Yes, Hokage-sama. But I – " Truth is, Iruka didn't want to see. He'd be happier living in ignorance rather than foreseeing someone's death when he could do nothing about it in the end. Living in ignorance was better than waiting for a date or time when one of his close comrades, friends or loved ones was no longer alive or their corpses brought back to the village, just like how his visions showed it. "I'm so afraid."
"You are strong." Tsunade said, gripping his shoulders firmly. "You have survived this long. The amount of strain your mind has taken would have made any other normal person fall in to a comatose." Tsunade then beamed at him. "That proves your mind isn't weak, ne?"
Iruka wanted to cry. He bit his lower lip to prevent the sob that wanted to come out. Months he's been suffering in seeing visions and old memories of Mizuki. Months and months he has confined himself in a bubble that no one could burst, taking it upon his head and shoulders that he would protect every single person he hands out missions too. For months he tried to do his best in preventing the number of deaths from increasing. The sheer relief he felt at the moment made his shame grew so much more that he could no longer hold the tears. He cried like a broken child, tired and lost and too afraid of what he sees in his sleep. Tired and afraid of seeing things that he didn't want to see.
And Tsunade understood. She just smiled and pulled Iruka to an embrace like a mother would to a child while Iruka kept apologizing over and over again, heart wrenching sobs of a man who saw too much escaping his lips.
XXX
Tsunade didn't leave Iruka at all. In the end, she cast upon him a deep sleeping jutsu after coaxing him to lie down for a while. Iruka listened to her and did as he was told, getting rid of his flak jacket and sandals. Once Tsunade was sure that Iruka was in a deep sleep, she pulled the blankets over him and pulled the blinds close. With a sigh, she left the room to face the two pacing Jounins outside.
"He's fine." She said, closing the door behind him. "He's very tired."
Truth is, after Iruka brake in to sobs, Genma had turned in to a complete worry wart. Raidou remained tensed and kept glaring at anyone who passed by, even if they happened to be the nurses who were just doing their job on checking on the patients.
"We just heard him cry." Genma said worriedly. "Hokage-sama." There was a silent plea there to help Iruka.
Tsunade understood perfectly especially after what Iruka said. Iruka may have not mentioned anything directly, but Tsunade got the feeling that his care and worry for Genma ran deeper than what he seemed to think or portray. "He's been alone for too long. Keep in mind that Naruto isn't in the village anymore." Raidou merely gave a nod but said nothing else. Genma opened his mouth to say something, to ask or protest – anything – but closed it again, opting to look off to one side.
Raidou was the first to speak after a few silent seconds. "When will he be able to go home?"
Tsunade turned to look at him. "Whenever he wakes up. It's nothing serious. He's just under a lot of stress lately. He'll be on a break for a few days to rest it off. He needs it." Raidou nodded in agreement. "When he does wake up, I'm assigning you to escort him home." She looked at Genma and smiled. "Be gentle with him. He's been through a lot. And he's very tired." Tsuande meant to say it in a medical and professional way, in which she did. It was just Genma who misunderstood it slightly and took it the other way.
"Y-Yes Hokage-sama." He said tensely, cheeks aflame.
Raidou smirked and patted his friend's back. "We'll keep watch."
"Do that." Tsunade said and left them to leave Iruka's discharging orders at the nurse's desk.
"Dirty mind." Raidou mumbled at Genma, jabbing him at the ribs.
"I – shut up!" Genma said hotly, blushing even more.
Raidou could only roll his eyes and push Iruka's door open and entering. "Give it up, Genma. You're all over him."
"Hey." Genma protested, frowning a bit.
Raidou closed the door just as Genma entered. He found his friend approaching Iruka and standing beside his bed, looking at the curled form of the Chuunin. With gentleness that Raidou never imagined Genma possessed, Genma brushed the dark strands off the Chuunin's face, expression so serene that Raidou was slightly taken aback by his friend's emotion. It was so strong that Raidou found himself looking away, not sure why he didn't want to look at the two in front of him.
"Silly man." Genma mumbled. "Always tiring himself out." Genma sighed and plopped himself down on one of the chairs, eyes still on the deeply sleeping Chuunin.
"He's strong in his own way." Raidou said, making himself stand a good distance from the other two by the bed. "He's really something."
Genma smiled softly at Iruka. "Yes." Once again, Raidou just had to look away. He couldn't stand that expression on Genma's face being directed at Iruka. "He really is something."
XXX
When Iruka awoke, it was to the sound of someone sipping. His eyes slipped open slowly to find a blurred image of a somewhat familiar face holding a Styrofoam cup. Upon closer focus, Iruka found himself looking at Genma's handsome and concerned face.
"Genma-san?" Iruka blinked slowly and tiredly.
Genma's hand came forward to brush at his hair. He looked so gentle that Iruka found himself automatically leaning in to his touch. "Sensei. How do you feel?"
Iruka's eye lids were threatening to drop close again. "Tired. So tired."
Genma's concern grew. "Hokage-sama said you can go home whenever you want to. She says that you just need rest."
Iruka closed his eyes. "Hmm. That's nice."
"You're also relieved from all your duties for a few days." Genma added, smiling and continuing to smooth Iruka's hair. Iruka could only reply with a breathy 'yes' at Genma's words. "I'm your escort home. So whenever you want to go, I'll –"
The door to the room opened, making Genma stop mid-sentence and pull his touch back. Raidou stepped in with a bottle of water and plastic cup blinking at Genma who was simply looking at Iruka's semi-awake face.
"Iruka-sensei." Raidou said, relieved and happy to see the Chuunin awake. "Are you feeling better?" Iruka mumbled a 'yes' and forced himself to sit up, tiredly blinking and rubbing at his eye.
"Would you like to go home?" Genma asked.
Iruka merely looked at Genma, looking very young with his hair loose and framing his face. Raidou saw the intense looks exchanged between the two and opted to hand the bottle of water and plastic cup to Genma. He then patted his friend's back more out of habit rather than reassurance and gave Iruka a grin.
"Genma will take you home. I have duties to attend to right now. So if you need anything, Genma will help you out." Iruka's face turned pink at Raidou's words. Raidou found himself admiring the shy and soft look that Iruka was now displaying. "Take care of yourself, sensei." Raidou gave his best friend a look of watch-out-for-him-or-you're-dead before patting his back again. "Later."
Neither Jounin nor Chuunin moved after Raidou disappeared in a whisp of chakra smoke. Genma busied his hands by removing the bottle seal of the mineral water Raidou brought and pouring Iruka a cup. Iruka took the cup gratefully and drank it all in one go.
"Want another one?" Genma asked, for the sake of conversation. The silence was starting to be a bit disturbing.
"No, thank you." Iruka said and opted to look at the cup. "What time is it?"
"About half past seven in the evening." Genma answered.
Iruka nodded and continued looking at the cup. Genma opened his mouth to ask if there's anything Iruka would like when the Chuunin spoke up again. "I'm going to head home. You look very tired yourself Genma-san. Maybe you should head home too." Iruka then pushed the covers aside, setting the cup on the table and getting on his feet.
"I'm not leaving you!" Genma said, standing up and showing complete defiance.
Iruka turned to look at Genma and for a moment he saw Mizuki, defying his words with his stubborn attitude. Iruka painfully – painfully – reminded himself inwardly that this was not Mizuki. This was Genma – Shiranui Genma – the all around cool Jounin with the bad-boy look that swept women off their feet and caused some men to just drop. It was the intense look in Genma's eyes, the one that just showed how stubborn he was inside, that made Iruka realize that this man was more than just his comrade. Iruka just realized that the amount of mind stress he endured for just this one man alone was more than what he would be willing to carry for anyone else. Not even Mizuki resulted in this much mind strain. Iruka didn't even realize he was staring until Genma slammed an open palm against the foot board of the hospital bed to get his attention.
"Uh –" Iruka blinked, unsure. He was staring at Genma with just plain curiosity and desire. The lengths Iruka went through to protect this man was flashing in his head, reminding him that yes, indeed, he has fallen for the Jounin.
Hard.
"Maybe you should stay behind. You're dazing off. Hokage-sama said –"
"Genma-san." Iruka said, reaching out to finger Genma's cheek. "You worry too much."
Genma's cheeks just burned a bright red from the touch and Iruka's words. "S-Sensei."
"I'm fine. See?" Iruka smiled, head tilting to one side as he did so.
"But – "
"Shh." Iruka pressed a finger to Genma's lips. "I'm fine." The blush on Genma's cheeks seems to darken under Iruka's touch. "I'm fine." Iruka said again, and then turned to fetch his sandals and flak jacket.
Genma was staring after Iruka. "I'll walk you home."
"You don't need to." Iruka said. "I can take care of myself."
Genma shook his head. "I'm just worried that you'll collapse again."
"I won't." Iruka said, confident this time.
"How do you know?" Genma asked, crossing his arms.
Iruka stood up and rotated his ankles a few times on each foot before looking up at Genma and smiling. "I just know."
Genma wasn't convinced. "S-Sensei, I –"
"Trust me." Iruka said and moved closer to Genma. "Will you?" Iruka tilted his head, face about finger's length away from Genma's.
"Will I what?" Genma asked, enthralled by Iruka's eyes and scar for it being within very close proximity.
"Trust me." Iruka said, breathing the words out.
"I'm worried." Genma answered and this time, he reached out to finger Iruka's scar.
"Don't." Iruka shook his head and took Genma's hand that was reaching out to touch his scar in his. "I'm fine. I will be. You'll see."
"Iruka-sensei…" Genma said, worry growing.
"Shh. No more words." Iruka said, pressing a finger to his lips again. "No more. No more, Genma-san." Genma's eyes were screaming with worry. "I'll be fine, if you will be. Take care in your missions. That's all I ask." Genma's brows furrowed. "Come back alive." Iruka's expressions melted to that of a begging one. "Always. Always come back."
Genma pulled the finger off his lips. "Iruka-sensei, I – you once mistook me for Mizuki." There was a sharp intake of breath from Iruka's side. "I – I don't know what happened or what your relation to him was but – but I'm not him." Iruka took a step back but Genma held him place. "I can never be him."
"I know that." Iruka said.
"Do you?" Genma asked, almost challenging.
Iruka reached out to finger a strand of Genma's hair. Brown like honey not silver like the moon. Not Mizuki at all. He knows now. "I do."
"Iruka-sensei." Genma said in an almost defeated manner.
"You're not him. You can never be him." Iruka shook his head. "I don't know how you knew or how I spoke of him or mistook you for him. But – But Genma is Genma. Mizuki is no longer here. He's dead. He's resting." Iruka said, eyes dropping off to the floor.
"Do you miss him?" Genma asked cautiously.
"I want to move on." Iruka said, looking up to look in to Genma's eyes. "I really want to."
"You're afraid sensei." Genma said, pushing back Iruka's hair behind his ears.
"I am. Very afraid." Iruka leaned close, lips hovering over Genma's. "I don't know what can happen. I'm afraid of the results. I can't see the results. Not clearly."
"You can't see." Genma said, his head tilting a bit to one side for a better position. "You can just feel. And hope for the best."
"I have no other hopes to spare." Iruka said, fingers coming up to rest themselves of Genma's shoulders.
"Nearly all of us don't." Genma said.
"I'm afraid." Iruka admitted, this time his lips brushed against Genma's so softly that it felt like a mere breeze.
"Don't be." Genma whispered back.
"Come back. Just come back." Iruka said quietly, eye lids drooping.
"I can try."
"Promise?"
Genma smiled a bit. "Promise."
Iruka reached forward behind Genma's neck and pulled him close for a kiss. It was a soft unsure one that was searching for something. There were shy caresses of tongues until Iruka broke free to merely gaze in to Genma's eyes before pulling him close again to mesh their lips together. This time, Iruka was no longer shy. He sucked and nibbled at Genma's lower lip before gaining his entrance and tasting the warm caverns of Genma's mouth. Genma was surprised by the sheer control Iruka seemed to reign over him and was completely smitten by it. Genma allowed Iruka entrance and begged for more with little groans escaping his throat. What was once a shy and searching kiss turned to a hot and lust-filled one.
As Iruka kissed Genma with everything he had, his reality melted to that of his visions.
Genma lying on his couch reading.
Genma emerging from his bathroom with a towel around his waist.
Genma puttering about the kitchen looking for the tin of coffee in the cabinet.
Genma doing the dishes while wearing that green apron Iruka owned.
Genma holding him on a cold winter's night.
Genma coming home from a mission, tired, worn and dirty but smiling. Alive.
Genma writhing, wet and slick, begging and moaning.
Everything around him just revolved around one person.
Iruka pulled back from the kiss, staring at Genma's lust filled eyes. "Genma." He whispered, the name rolling off his tongue with ease. Iruka definitely fell hard this time. The mere idea that Genma might never come back made Iruka feel desperation in him that he just pulled Genma in his arms and held him. "I'm afraid. So afraid."
Genma held Iruka, smoothing his hair. "Tell me. What are you afraid of?"
"Losing you." Iruka whispered. "It's selfish but – but I can't lose someone again. Not again."
"We're shinobi. There are no fixed promises." Genma said. "Don't be afraid. Live and take everything that you can. You have me." Genma nosed Iruka's hair till his lips found Iruka's ear. "So take me."
Iruka could only bury his face deeper in to Genma's neck, inhaling the soft scent of honey and fields. "Let's go home."
XXX
Genma walked Iruka to his apartment in a quiet pace. They walked close together, their shoulders brushing against each other until they reached Iruka's small single apartment. Iruka invited Genma in and offered him a cup of tea while he headed for the bathroom to shower. Raidou did say he's been asleep for six days straight. Once Iruka was changed and cleaned he joined Genma in the living room who was staring out at the window.
Iruka wrapped his arms around Genma's waist from behind, cheek pressing on the back of Genma's neck. Genma laced his fingers with the ones lying on his stomach.
"Feel better?" Genma asked. Iruka only replied with a noise deep in his throat as an affirmative answer. "You're off for a few days. Use those days to get your strength back." Iruka nodded. "Don't strain yourself." Iruka nodded again. "I'm here if you need anything."
"Will you stay?" Iruka asked.
"Want me to?" Genma asked.
"Can you?" Iruka countered.
"I can."
"Stay then." Iruka said, taking Genma's hand and leading him to the couch. He sat on the far corner and made Genma sit beside him. He then reached forward and undid the knot of Genma's forehead protector as if he were handling something fragile. Once if came off, Iruka set it aside and smoothed down Genma's hair that fell over his eyes. Iruka smiled softly and leaned forward to kiss Genma's jaw line before tugging him to lie on his lap. Genma obliged, happy to just be looking up at Iruka while tanned fingers brushed at his forehead and rubbed at his scalp in a soothing motions.
Genma told himself that he could get used to this. "Don't stop." Genma said, eyes dropping close from the soothing sensations Iruka sent down his spine by massaging his scalp.
Iruka could only smile. "I won't."
TBC
Gyah! FLUFF! (dies and falls over)
I've introduced a new pairing! Go figure! I'll be frank that I have no clue where this is going to head at the moment. I'm past the hard part with Iruka and Genma now 'together'.
Now it's angst time I think. Too much fluff is unhealthy for me you see?
Review no jutsu? (gives readers puppy eyes)