Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The wonderful JK Rowling does! I wish I did, then I'd be rich! Just kidding! Please don't sue me for writing a fan fic that I really hope you enjoy!
The pain switching idea was from the unknown one!
Last Chapter Summery: Remus locked himself in his apartment, thinking of Kiah and dreading her funeral. There was an Order of the Phoenix meeting and the Longbottoms joined. Dumbledore talked to Remus about Kiah. James' birthday and everyone got him drums. Sirius also had his birthday and he got his motorbike. It's the full moon and Padfoot, Moony, and Prongs decide to take a stroll in Hogsmeade. They loose Moony and he almost attacks Hagrid. Hagrid shoots a silver tipped arrow at Moony but Prongs blocks it with his form and gets hurt. Sirius goes back for Remus the next morning and tells him James is fine.
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May…
"James!" Lily shrieked, looking at herself in the mirror. James shot up in bed and glanced at the clock. 5:30 AM. "James come here!" Lily screamed again. James jumped out of bed, expertly untangling himself from the sheets and ran to the bathroom.
"What is it? What's the matter?" James asked as he slid in the bathroom, catching himself on the doorway.
"The baby is moving!" Lily said, holding her stomach and smiling. James crept over as if her stomach was a bomb. He gently laid his hand on the small bulge and felt something move.
James smiled and placed his other hand on her stomach. "That's amazing. It's our little Harry," James breathed.
Tears were standing in Lily's eyes. They both stood there for quite some time until the baby stopped moving within her. Shakily, James took Lily's hands in his and kissed each finger, then pressed his forehead against hers ever so lightly. "You are so wonderful," Lily said quietly.
"You are too perfect," James whispered back. He kissed her lips so gently and so sensually. "I love you more than anything," he breathed into her lips.
"I love you more than that," Lily said, sliding deeply into his strong frame, feeling completely safe.
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"Hey you're here!" Lily said bubbly as she walked into the kitchen. Marissa was spinning around on the barstool but stopped unsteadily when Lily arrived.
"Of course I'm here, you only called me about a million times," Marissa said grumpily while glancing at the clock, which read 7:13 AM. Marissa was not a morning person. "What's the box for?" she asked as she saw Lily struggle with a large cardboard box.
Lily grinned and flipped open the box with flare. She then whipped out a pair of sweat pants. "Tada! What do you think?" she asked excitedly.
Marissa looked at the box, then at the sweat pants, then at Lily. "You woke me up at six in the bloody morning for sweat pants?" Marissa muttered.
Grinning, Lily walked over to Marissa and dramatically said, "They are maternity pants! I found them in Diagon Alley. They have a spell to mold to your body shape. They fit perfectly, heat up or cool down on your command, decrease the need to use the bathroom, and stops itchiness! These are miracle pants!"
"You woke me up at six in the bloody morning for sweat pants?" Marissa repeated.
Ignoring her last comment, Lily skipped over to the box and began modeling all the clothes. "It's amazing! They have all types of clothes. There are different uses for each thing depending what stage of the pregnancy your in. I worship the person who invented these!" Lily continued on and on for the next ten minutes. She turned to show Marissa a pair of socks that massage your feet with each step, but Marissa wasn't there. Groaning, Lily rushed to the mirror and clearly stated Marissa's name. She found her in bed, fast asleep with Sirius next to her falling halfway out of the bed.
Lily rolled her eyes and tapped the mirror impatiently with her wand. Already bored with her new clothes, Lily went upstairs to the bathroom and looked in the full-length mirror, smiling. She was starting to swell up a little bit. She defiantly looked pregnant, her skin was glowing and her stomach had a tiny bulge. Lily only wore one piece of jewelry, a gold chain with her wedding and engagement rings resting on them. They wouldn't fit on her hands anymore. For some reason she was happy she was getting fatter. Harry kicked inside of her and Lily's smile broadened. She felt hungry.
Walking down to the kitchen, Lily hummed a tune that she remembered from graduation. "…you know my thoughts before I open up my mouth and try to speak. You know my dreams, must be listening when I'm talking in my sleep. I hope you know I love everything about you don't you know…" Lily sang under her breath as she rummaged through the fridge. She remembered it well, it was called Thankful, the same song she sang in front of the entire seventh year.
The house was too quiet. It was Saturday; James had to go into work today. He couldn't tell her what he was working on, but it had taken up most of his week. Sighing, feeling lonely, Lily decided she was going to have lemon juice. A few weeks ago Lily was craving an unidentifiable food. She called her mother and made her name off all of the weird foods she had eaten when she was pregnant.
"There's got to be something…everything you've said has made me sick," Lily had said, flopping on the couch of her childhood home.
Jennifer sighed, pacing the room. Suddenly she snapped her fingers. "Lemon juice!"
"Lemon juice?" Lily had asked.
Nodding, Jennifer launched into an explanation. "What you do is buy fresh lemons. Squeeze them and put it in a cup with crushed ice and a ton of salt. Then you eat it with a spoon. I ate two a day when I was pregnant with you."
Immediately after seeing her mother, Lily rushed to the store and bought all the supplies. She had been hooked on them ever since. With a small sigh, Lily took her concoction and went to the sofa and flipped on the tele. A commercial for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups came on. Mmmm…chocolate…
Around ten in the morning, Remus popped into the living room to see Lily absorbed in a cooking show. There were seven empty glasses surrounding her. "Lils, are you hungry?" Remus asked with a slight smile.
Lily shrugged. "Not so much, just my usual cravings." She patted the spot next to her on the sofa, signaling Remus to sit down. "You want to go get some lunch?"
"It's ten, Lillian," Remus said, propping his feet on the coffee table and reaching for a candy in the dish sitting on the end table.
"I wouldn't touch those, James and Sirius were hovering around the candy with wands in their hands a few days back." Remus instantly dropped the candy back in the dish. "We can go get ice cream, I just need something sweet."
Remus laughed and stood up. "From salty to sweet. Okay let's get ice cream," he said, holding out his hands to help her up. They both went to the fireplace and quickly shot fire out of their wands, ready for Floo travel. Lily couldn't Apparate anymore since she was pregnant.
After four hot fudge sundaes, Lily said, "You want to stop and get some pickle juice?" Remus rolled his eyes in response.
"How about we stop and visit Marissa and Sirius instead?" Remus asked nicely.
Lily shrugged. "I'd rather get pickle juice but whatever."
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"Hey Chocolate!" Lily cooed as they arrived in the apartment. Marissa's black lab puppy (not so much a puppy anymore) came bounding over to Lily and began licking her hands. Lily continued cooing and petting the dog while Remus called for Marissa and Sirius.
Marissa walked into the living room, Banishing the towel in her hands back into the kitchen. "Hey, what's up?"
Remus shrugged. "Just paying a visit. We were at the Ice Cream Parlor earlier."
"Wait, let me guess, four hot fudge sundaes?" Remus laughed at Marissa's remark, "Lily took me last week."
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked.
The person in question arrived in the room. "Right here. Oh Lily, your mum just called here asking for you," Sirius said, "I think I'm getting the hang of this telepole thing!"
"Telephone," Marissa corrected automatically.
"I better go call her back," Lily said, scratching Chocolate behind the ears one more time and leaving the room.
"Hey mum, what did you need?" Lily asked as she answered the phone.
Her mother's voice on the other end sounded very excited. "We're grandparents!" Jen said excitedly.
Lily looked down at her stomach and scanned the area around her feet, as if her child had dropped out from her stomach just a moment ago. "Mum, I'm still pregnant," Lily said simply.
Jen laughed. "Not you, Petunia!"
"Petunia was pregnant?" Lily asked icily.
"Yes! Oh Petunia didn't want you to know, but I couldn't hold it in any longer! They had a beautiful boy-"
"How can it beautiful if she had it?"
"Lily," her mother said in a warning tone.
"Sorry but it's true. God knows what she married. And she had a boy? No, I'm having a boy!"
"You both can have boys!"
"No we can't! She's trying to steal my thunder!"
"Lily, be reasonable. Anyways they named him Dudley Dursley-"
Lily snorted, "Dudley Dursley? Poor kid…"
"Maybe after little Harry is born you and Petunia can come visit us for tea!" Jean said, changing the subject.
Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't know. Hey I got to go mum, Sirius needs the phone."
"Okay dear, bye!" Lily slammed the phone down on the receiver and groaned. She was startled to turn around and find Sirius, Marissa, Remus, and even Chocolate standing still behind her. "Did you enjoy my private conversation?" Lily said grumpily.
"Oh come off it, Lillian! You would have told us in a minute anyways!" Sirius said.
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"Ready?" James asked. Sirius nodded.
"Ready for what?" Lily asked, approaching them from behind.
James slipped on his cloak. "Remember, we have that Quidditch match tonight?"
Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh yes," she said with a sigh, "Have fun and be back before midnight, even if the match isn't over yet."
James laughed and gave her a kiss. "Love you!" he called as he left.
"Whatever, go have fun," Lily said with a wave of her hand. James laughed and gave a small wave back as Sirius shut the door firmly behind them. "I don't understand why they have to see Quidditch once a month," Lily muttered to herself.
In fact, James and Sirius were not going to a Quidditch match. There wasn't even a Quidditch match scheduled for tonight. They crept behind the next corner and Apparated to Privet Drive. "Time to make some magic," Sirius said quietly.
They had been doing this for a few months now. Since they had been out of school they hadn't had much time for pranks. They had established the second Thursday of every month to go on "Black and Potter Escapades". So far they had played pranks on Snape, Bellatrix, the Dursley's, and Dumbledore once. He of course caught them and had a good chuckle about the scar they gave him, which turned out to be a perfect map of the London Underground. Now it was time to hit the Dursley's again.
Slowly, James and Sirius crept up to the front window and saw Petunia and Vernon on the couch watching the news. Next to them was a baby monitor. Sirius grinned and pealed his coat off, revealing a UPS suit. He took a letter out of one of the pockets. James handed him a clipboard and pushed him towards the door. Sirius knocked quietly.
Petunia was the one who answered the door. "Letter to Mr. Dursley, special delivery," Sirius said with an American accent. Petunia snatched it away curiously. "Sign here, ma'am," Sirius said, handing her the clipboard. Petunia signed away without looking and closed the door in his face.
"Vernon, you have a letter," Petunia said, trying to look uninterested but peered over his shoulder as he read it.
Dear Mr. Dursley,
The IRS would like to inform you that you are being audited due to discreptencdes in your claims filed for the previous three years. Fraudulent claims may result in penalties and fines of, but not limited to, 186,000 pounds, that will be due upon completion of audit. Failure too fully corporate and comply with the process set forth by the IRS will be punishable by serving jail time.
Have a nice day!
--The IRS
"Vernon! What are we going to do?" Petunia shrieked, "We can't owe that much to the government!" Before Vernon could answer, the doorbell rang again. This time James was at the door.
"What?" Vernon snarled.
"Letter to Mr. Dursley, special delivery," James said, having fun with a Jamaican accent. He seemed unperturbed by the fact Vernon had sprayed spit in his face with impaired speech.
Vernon wrenched the letter out of James' hands. "Who's this from?" he asked.
James shrugged. "I just deliver the letters, man. Sign here," he said, handing the clipboard over. Vernon scrawled his name and pushed him out the door. Furiously ripping his letter open. He read it momentarily, then angrily tore the letter up into small pieces.
"WE HAVE TO PAY THE BLASTED GOVERNMENT 200,000 POUNDS?" Vernon yelled.
Petunia's eyes darted around nervously. "Shh, the neighbors will hear!" She immediately darted to the window and searched outside as if waiting for the neighbors to rush over to her house in an angry mob for what they heard.
"We are going to the IRS building straight away! Get Dudley and leave him with Mrs. Figg for a bit," Vernon said as he waddled over to the end table for his car keys. Petunia hurried upstairs and got a sleeping Dudley from his crib. He was not the prettiest baby. After Petunia was done cooing to him, they rushed out of the house.
"Told you it would work," Sirius said smugly as they stepped inside the house.
James ignored his comment and tapped his wand thoughtfully against his chin. "I got it. Here's what we do…"
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The Dursley's came storming up the drive a moment later. "Who would do such an awful thing?" Petunia said in an abnormally high voice. Dudley was in her arms and awake, already looking spoiled rotten.
"Bloody bonkers. IRS didn't even know who we were," Vernon grumbled under his breath. He fiddled with the house keys and opened the door to the inside. Petunia screamed when she saw her house, causing Dudley to burst into a fit of ugly wails.
There was mold growing up the walls and all over the floor. Seven snakes were slithering around their feet. Everything that was on the floor before was on the ceiling and everything that was on the ceiling was on the floor.
"LILY!" Petunia screamed, looking around the house wildly as if to see her hiding behind the corner. "I KNOW YOU DID THIS LILY!"
Just then all of the picture frames around the house flashed, and inside each of the frames was a picture of Lily. Petunia screamed louder and Vernon looked at his wife in astonishment.
James and Sirius were looking through the front window, watching chaos unravel. Both were laughing quietly. "Oh the look on their faces, that was priceless!" James whispered, ducking down into the bushes.
Sirius took a side length glance at James. "I miss this."
"Miss what?" James asked.
Shrugging, Sirius picked at the grass on the ground. "I don't know, having fun with you. Like in Hogwarts, before Lily and you were dating. I love Lily dearly, but you know, it was more fun when we were single and causing mayhem. Now that your going to be a dad, it's going to be harder to hang out with you."
James chuckled and clapped Sirius on the shoulder. "You will always be my best mate. Nothing can come between that."
Sirius grinned. "Thanks." There was an uncomfortable silence until Sirius said, "We are a bunch of girls, let's go find someone else to prank. There's a lot of time to kill before Lily demands you home." James laughed and they hurried behind some trashcans and Apparated.
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"Whoa! Why is this goo on fire?" Sirius asked himself, consulting the cookbook propped on the counter. The pasta sauce was turning brown around the edges and a small flame had started on the side. The pasta noodles had a lid on them, but it was threatening to explode on him any second.
Peter walked in the room and saw Sirius in a pink frilly apron and an overlarge chef's hat. He was dancing around between pots, hitting them forcefully with his wand. "Mrs. Black? Is Sirius here?" Peter asked loudly.
Sirius slowly turned to him and narrowed his eyes. "Haha, very funny Pete. Give me a second, okay?" Peter shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. Sirius placed his hands on his hips, in an all too girly way, and then snapped his fingers. Flipping through the cookbook, he scanned the page and began whispering an incantation to himself. "Finite!" he said, waving his wand over all of the pots and food. It disappeared and then reappeared in the sink. His apron and chefs hat zoomed away and hung itself on a hook by the door. "I'll just order take out. What's up?" Sirius asked casually.
Lowering his eyes, Peter nervously walked to a chair and sat in it. "Well…I have a problem."
"Ah well the world's an imperfect place. What's wrong?" Sirius asked, sitting at a chair across from Peter.
"Um, I haven't had a girlfriend since Petula…and I'm worried."
Sirius just stared at him. "What? Not one date?"
"No, I've had dates, it's just that I haven't had a girlfriend," Peter said, stumbling over his words. Sirius stared some more. "Like I'll go on two dates and then the woman leaves halfway through them or they give me a fake number or they say, 'I don't think it's going to work out between us.'"
"Not since Petula?" Sirius asked, dumbfounded.
"You've gotta help me! I'm scared for my health!" Peter said with his voice squeaking.
Sirius held a hand up. "Okay, okay, okay. I used this all the time at Hogwarts. Just do this on your first date and the girl will fall in love with you."
Peter scooted up to the edge of the chair and leaned forward on the table. "What? Tell me please!" he begged.
With a small smile, Sirius leaned his elbow on the table. "It's a story. But you have to do it right in order for it to work. That means acting. Can you act?"
Peter's eyes darkened, but he shook his head slightly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can."
"Good! Here we go," Sirius said. He adjusted himself to look cool and casual and flashed a stunning smile. "About a summer ago, I was backpacking through Western Europe-"
Snorting, Peter said, "You were backpacking through Western Europe?"
"Do you want a date or not?" Sirius said shortly.
He held up his hands in defense. "Yes, yes, go on."
Sirius glared at him one last time, then put on his game face. "I was just outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing. There was a lake. Very secluded. There were tall trees all around. It was dead silent. Gorgeous. And across the lake, I saw a beautiful woman, bathing herself. But she was crying," Sirius' eyes got a faraway look and tears welled up in them.
Peter was staring at Sirius, completely drawn into the story. "Why?" he asked quietly.
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"Checkmate," Remus said, moving his queen.
Analyzing the board, Sirius said, "No way! I had you!"
"Obviously not, since I just won," Remus commented, picking at his nails.
"You win everything," Sirius grumbled.
James laughed and shifted his weight. He was sprawled across the couch with Lily lying on top of his legs, her head resting on his stomach, reading a book. "Isn't Peter coming over?" Lily asked.
Chuckling, Sirius set up the pawns on the chessboard. "Doubt it, he has a date tonight. Came over to the flat a few days ago asking for advice."
"The Western Europe story?" both Remus and James asked at the same time.
"Mmm-hmm," Sirius said, making the first move on the board.
Marissa and Lily shared a confused look. "Western Europe story?" Marissa asked Sirius.
"Uh-oh, mate. She has you cornered," Remus said, taking Sirius' bishop.
Sirius just rolled his eyes. "It's a story you use to get girls to fall in love with you on the first date," Marissa gave Sirius a death glare, "Don't worry, I stopped using it when we started dating."
"Did you use it on me?" Marissa asked.
"Nah, you just fell for my raw animal magnetism," Sirius said, flashing her a charming grin.
Rissa rolled her eyes. "That is so not true!"
Lily laughed. "You know you did. It was at my birthday party and you were telling me how sexy he was with no shirt on."
Sirius closed the board with a wave of his wand. Remus groaned and muttered something about 'always when I'm winning.' Sirius smiled and turned towards Marissa. "Really? Tell me more about my sexy body," he said arrogantly. Sirius received a pillow smacking him in the face.
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June…
"Sirius it's against the law!" Remus saw impatiently.
A screwdriver flew past Remus as Sirius scooted out from under his motorbike. "Listen, it's not illegal if no muggles see it."
The screwdriver flew back towards Sirius and he caught it with his free hand. "Muggles will see it eventually. And it's breaking many other laws, such as Misuse of Muggle Artifacts-"
"What if I go to my boss tomorrow and ask to file a request about it?" asked Sirius, interrupting Remus.
"They still wouldn't let you do it! Too many risks are involved-"
"Bloody hell! I only want my motorbike to fly!" Sirius yelled, "It gets so boring just piddling around the town."
Under his breath, Remus said, "If piddling means going 150 miles per hour."
Sirius rolled over to his toolbox and dug around, pulling out a wrench. "Look, I'm almost done prepping it for flying. Just a few spells and it'll be over. James was okay with it-"
"James has little common sense-"
"Too bad he's having a kid-"
"Do whatever you want! I don't care if you're sent to Azkaban!" Remus through his hands in the air and flopped on the old couch in the garage. Sirius had been keeping the bike in the Potter's garage, since his flat didn't have one.
With a small laugh, Sirius commented, "It would be a minor charge if I was caught. Probably just a fine, calm yourself."
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Lily stormed into Remus' apartment. Everyone else was there, excluding Peter. "I'm a fat cow!" she cried as she threw her purse down in the corner.
Everyone in the room grimaced. It was nearing the end of Lily's pregnancy and she was especially moody. Anything they said made her angry and if they didn't say anything at all she would burst into tears because she was being ignored. She was getting quite large as it was nearing the end of June, and the due date was coming along fast.
"Nothing tastes good," Lily continued ranting as she leaned against the counter, "I can't see my feet anymore, I can't shave-"
"Too much information, Lillian," Sirius said quietly. Lily sent a glare his way.
"Good God man, don't anger it," Remus said in an undertone.
"YOU TRY BEING PREGNANT! I WANT TO SEE YOU MANAGE!" Lily screamed. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," another glare reached Sirius, "I can't sleep, everything hurts, my stomach itches, the toilet has become my best friend, I waddle like a freaking penguin-"
"Oooh, penguins!" Sirius said with a smile.
Lily sent another glower his way and Sirius shut up quickly. "I have sausage fingers, I'm sweating like a pig, and my feet are killing me!"
James stood up and pointed to the seat. "I think you'd be more comfortable if you sat down, Lily."
Turning around slowly, Lily narrowed her eyes. "You," she said, her tone dripping with ice, "as if you haven't done enough." James backed away slowly.
"Um, Lils?" Sirius asked in a sunshine voice. Lily turned to him next and he cowered slightly. He held out a plate of cookies. "Do you want a cookie?"
Lily put a hand to her chest and tears sprung up in her eyes. "Thank you so much!" she said, giving him a hug and grabbing a cookie.
James leaned over and muttered, "You have got to tell me how you did that."
"What are you two girls whispering about over there?" Lily asked edgily.
Flashing a grin, James said all too sweetly, "I was telling Sirius how beautiful you look."
Once again, tears came up to Lily's eyes and she gave James a long kiss. It wasn't the easiest thing to do since her stomach got in the way. "You are the sweetest husband a girl could ask for," Lily said. Sirius gave James the thumbs up behind Lily's back.
A timer went off on Lily's watch and she groaned. "I have three chocolate cakes in the oven at home. Be back later!" she said, now in a great mood. With one last wave she pranced out the door.
James let out a huge sigh. "She is impossible to live with! The hormones are bouncing off the walls!"
"Well why don't you try being pregnant and going through the pain of having birth?" Marissa said coolly.
Sirius snapped his fingers. "Hey…why don't you?"
Everybody turned to Sirius. "What?" James asked.
"Maybe we could do some sort of a prank. Like for a week you can feel whatever Lily is going through," Sirius explained.
Remus smiled. "Yeah…I think I read about that some where!"
Scoffing, James said, "Of course you have Moony, I think you've read more books than Lily."
"Not with all the pregnancy books, he hasn't," Sirius said.
Remus held a hand up and thought about it for a moment. "I remember something about in the early 1900's whenever the husband complained about his wife being pregnant, the wife would cast a spell secretly on him that would make him experience everything she was going through. It wouldn't work on the giving birth part, but on everything else it did. The spell was lost over the ages but a witch recreated it so that the husband could feel every pregnancy pain for three days. I even remember the incantation, Lospetio!"
James smiled cockily. "It can't be that bad! Let's go do it!" Marissa snorted as they all Apparated.
"Hey Lily? You here?" James called. Lily walked to the foyer where they were all standing.
"I thought I was going back to Remus's…" Lily said, confused.
Sirius smiled and took Lily's hand. "We have a fun idea. How would you like for Jamsie over here to feel every ache and pain you are feeling?"
Lily turned her head in a curious way. "Tell me more." Remus quickly explained what the spell was. Lily thought about it for a long time. "Would he look like he was pregnant?"
"No, just feel everything," Remus said, rolling back on forth on the balls of his feet.
Marissa interjected, "I would like to mention that he said it wouldn't be bad."
Narrowing her eyes, Lily took out her wand. "What's the incantation?"
James grinned. "Lily, I doubt it will be as bad as you are making it seem." Lily cast her fiery gaze on him.
"Lospetio!" Remus whispered. Lily repeated the incantation. Gold sparks instantly showered over James. In a flash, everything stopped.
Groaning, James said, "Everything hurts. Ouch!" He headed straight for the couch and lay down. But he kept moving around. "I can't get comfortable!" he said grumpily. Lily watched with a bemused look on her face.
"Thank you so much Remus!" Lily said happily, and she skipped into the kitchen as the rest of the group watched James begin forcefully itching his stomach.
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"Ah, so when are you due, James?" Sirius asked the second day, touching James' stomach. James slapped his hand away.
"I'm going to kill Remus when I see him," he grumbled as he waddled over to a chair. Sirius tried his best to suppress a laugh, but failed. If looks could kill, Sirius would be out cold. "Why don't you see how this feels, hm?"
Sirius backed away with his palms raised. "I get enough of this from Lily, I don't need it from you."
James rolled his eyes and sunk into the chair. "I don't understand how she does it. I'm never comfortable, sweat is pouring off of me, and everything hurts-"
"Sounds like you got the good end of the bargain, I have to go through twice as much as you," Lily interrupted as she walked to the couch and flopped down.
Instantly, James scooted off of his chair and crawled to Lily, taking both of her hands and putting on his puppy dogface. "Can you please reverse the spell? I can't take it anymore. I see what you're going through and I fully understand. Please undo it!"
Lily pulled her hands from his. "Number one, I have no clue how to. Remus only told me how to give you all the pain, I'm guessing intentionally. Second, even if I could reverse it, I don't think I would. I have another two weeks of this, you only get three days."
James groaned and fell backwards on the ground. "Thank you, God, for making me a guy." Lily just patted his head sympathetically.
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Author Notes: Ten points to the appropriate house if you can tell me what the Western Europe story is from lol.
I have received a review recently that made me think about the way I wrote the post-Hogwarts part of my story. I'm going to copy and paste it on here and I want you guys to tell me if you agree or disagree and why. If you agree, tell me if you think it turned to more Harry Potter centered a couple chapters later.
"You seriously need to seperate Fantasy from Reality,
I haven't read all of it, only until the begining after chpt 32, It has nothing to do with Harry Potter, except the parts where they were at school, which were awesome. Its cheesy/cliche, and it sounds like something in your fantasies, that you'd make up, the way you'd want your life to be.
This is just critique and opiinion, so you can delete but it might help you're writing style
Story: LJS4everandAlways2's Hogsmeade kiss
Signed: Bored"
Chapter 32 is when Lily and James got back from their honeymoon and I was describing the house. Then the other two couples stayed the night and they played in the rec room with the muggle games. I reflected on her review for a while and I agreed that I described the house the way I wish my house looked haha and I've always said my story is cheesy and cliché, I need to find extra time to re-write all the chapters to make them better. But the reason that particular beginning wasn't Harry Potter centered (like magic, Voldemort, all the parts that play into James and Lily's era) was because the next few chapters did get much darker, such as the prophecy, Kiah dying, attacks where Sirius and James had to fight since they worked for the Ministry, etc. I also was going to make this story pre-OotP completely since I read that book after I was already halfway done with Hogwarts years but then when I did get to the adult lives of Lily and James, which we know so little about, I didn't see how I could make it unique and make it work without the prophecy. I'm even kicking myself for not being more observant about the books because I started re-reading all the HP books recently (I'm on PoA) and I realized there was so much information in there I could've used in this story to make it more unique and different. I don't like to write L/J the way we've seen them a thousand times over again in millions of different stories, I want people to remember mine.
Sorry for the huge ramble, but I want your guys' opinion. And if "Bored" is still reading, I want to tell her thank you for this review; I'm not upset by it at all and it did help my writing, but I most certainly will not delete it.