xXx yo and hello. i guess i sould tell you what inspired this ne? well i was talking to a friend and he said he dosnt know why he cares so much about me when i never show him how i feel. he also said he was wasting his time with me and didnt want to be my friend any more. he'll never know how much that hurt me and how much i truely care for him. he is my best friend and i love him deeply...how much i love him he will never know. anyway i thought i would write down how i feel and i decided to make it a one shot. this is narusasu and it is from narutos point of veiw. it is his love letter/good bye note...if you havnt guess what happens bye now then your just hopeless. this is an au fic and i made naruto smart and what he says is how i feel. anyway ive wasted you time. go read it and tell me what you think...if ya want to.\
Disclaimer: i don not own naruto and i never will. i do however own the poem and if you steal it you will die a very slow and painfull death ya got it?
Warning: narusasu other than that there is really no warning.
now go read my feelings and all that other stuff... XxX
Voiceless
why am i here?
when all i feel is pain...
my blood drips
as these tears fall like rain
i hate my life
im full of suffering and hate
these feelings will all be gone when im dead
and standing at hells gate
why am i here?
theres no reason...
just like sports and fasoin
i go out of season
i hate myself
i have no purpose
i'll do what you want
and disappear on an overdose
why am i here?
when nobody cares...
life will just go on with me dead
everyone goes on with their afairs
not noticing the little blond boy
lying dead in the streets
with blood on his face
and tears in his eyes
"im pointless...i have no purpose. maybe if i searched long enough i would find one but i dont care. ive given up what little hope i had left. i mean, why should i care about my self when nobody else cares about me? ive had these questions for a long time and nobody has answered them yet. so im giving up. its pitiful i know but sixteen years of waiting for answers to my thoughts and questions has worn me out and i just dont care any more. maybe some one some where cares but what does it matter? they arnt here right now are they? no they arnt. cause if they were they would try to stop this pain ive been feeling for so long. they would hug me and tell me everything is gonna be okay... they would love me for who i am and not who eveyone wants me to be, they would want me to keep living and to be happy and...never give up hope. but what good is hope? what good can empty hope, and empty promises do? can they stop the pain? can they stop these endless tears from fallin? can they save me? can they love me? no! broken promises and empty hope cant do any of those and never will it be able to. i am so lost and filled with pain that i can never be saved...ive been living my life bassed on empyt dreams and broken promises. and now ive given up. i have no life left in me. and i dont think it will ever return...i may be running away but i dont care any more.
sure my friends love me but what proof do i have? saddly i have none...ive wasted my life so far waiting for some one to love me for me and i dont want to wait any longer. my hope is gone. i have no faith and i dont care about anything. i am an empty shell cast out by man kind. im just another face on the bus...just another shadow walking the streets...just another kid at your school. you could have helped me...you could have saved me! but instead you ignored me, laughed at me, and beat me up. i was nothing but you play thing. a tool you used to make your self feel better about yourself and your life. you broke me. you smashed in my face on countless ocassoins, and you crushed my hope that i would ever be loved by anyone. my life was bad enough before i got to high school but once it started it didnt stop. now i cut my wrists just to see if im alive, just to see if im real. but most of all i do it to feel the saticefaction of being in control of something. even something like making myslef bleed.
you all have made my life so useless. now i leave you with a dirty consiouse. and my death on your mind. you pushed me to this. you all gave me a reason to end my pitiful life...my worthless exictence. so as i lie here with my lifes blood pouring out from within me i wonder why i let you get to me so much. you caused me pain, and greif but most of all you made me feel love. i loved you so much and you never knew did you? your one chance to have what you wanted the most and you never saved me. you never stopped laughing at me, never stopped calling me names...and never stopped careing about me. you sent me emails telling me how much you loved me. you left me notes in my locker and food on my door step. but you never knew that i saw you do all of that kind and careing stuff. you never knew that i knew what your email address was. you never knew i memerized the way your handwritting looked...and how you wrote my name with such care and love in it. you never knew that i saw you running away from my door when you left the food there...you never knew did you? no of course not...you would never know...
you amaze me so much. the way your silken midnight blue hair falls dellecately around your pale face. and the way it falls slightly into your coal black eyes. i love those eyes so much. they show what you are truely and deeply feeling even though you try so hard to hide it. i love the way your hips sway slightly when you walk. i love the way you voice cracks slightly when you talk about some important and close to you...ive always wanted you to talk about me that way. but most of all i love the way you would smile when something would make you happy. you tried so hard to hide your emotions yet that tiny little content smile would always break threw the walls that surrounded your heart. the heart everyone thought you didnt have...the heart i longed would love me oppenly and not be affraid of what everyone else thought. but it dosnt matter now. im gone. dead. never going to return. im forever going to be a lost soul stuck in a state of eternal pergatory. lost and wondering with no end and nowhere to go.
i hope by now you realize how much i loved you and how much and how much i cared...i still love you so much and i always will. my love keeps growing for you even in the after life. i know you dont beleive in that sort of stuuf but i want you to beleive in me. that i still exist and that there will always be some one that loves you...even if they are in pergatory.
i never knew why i never told you this to your face but know i have the chance...and im sorry. i never ment to cause you the pain you are feeling right now. i love you and that will never end. i guess i never told you cause i was scared...i know. you were right ne? i am a scardy cat. but i am also voiceless. i can not voice how scared you make me. i can not voice how much you hurt me. i can not voice how much you worrie me when you dont show up for school. i can not vice how much i care for you to your face...i am voiceles and i always will be.
i guess ive wasted enough of your time. and i just have one more thing to say. dont worry about me. i'll be fine and i'll always love you for who you are no matter what happens. never ever forget that okay? i know you never will so i dont know why im worried so much... i guees thats just how much i love you ne?
good bye sasuke,
you never knew how much you hurt me...but most of all you never knew how much i loved you"
"sasuke" a voice asks as tears hit the paper infront of a pale young boy.
"sasuke...are you gonna be okay?"asks another voice, female this time.
the pair stay quiet standing slightly behind the sitting boy waitting for a response. as more tears fall slowley and quietly the boy gets up and walks over to the window. pale shakey hands reach out and grasp the latch and open the window. and before the two other ocupants can stop him the boy jumps out the window and with a sickening crack they hear his small lithel body hit the ground five storys down. "SASUKE!" the gurl screams as she runs to the window and looks out and down to the sight of were the young boy landed. she screamed again as the sight of blood and broken bones sticking out from the pale ghostly skin of the one she loved and had treasured the most...the body of her best friend...the body of the boy that would never love her back because he was inlove with some one else. some one else by the name of one uzumaki naruto.
xXx yeah...its sad i killed naruto and then made sasuke jump out the window...but its how i felt at them moment and it was best diplayed threw violence and the death of two people who should always be together no matter what anyone says. anyway tell me what you think and may be if you coment i will feel better...maybe who knows. i will tell you one thing tough...this is the longest thing i have evr written...i put all of my emotions and feelings in here to. so basicly what im saying is i dont really care if you like it or not but if you do thats great leave a coment and i will thank you and if you leave a flame i will hate and ignore you. so we all win.XxX