Elizabeth left the conference room and headed for one of the balconies. She needed time to get used to the idea that Carson was leaving. As much as she wanted to hope, there was no chance that he could stay, with that injury. She fought the bureaucrats too many times not to know them.

Sometimes, she wished she could just disappear. Let time pass by her and come back when it's clearer, when it's easier to deal with things. When she took the position, she knew there would be though decisions, but she never expected so many and so painful.

"Doctor Weir?" Teyla asked from behind her, concern in her voice.

"Yes, Teyla." Elizabeth turned around and looked at the Athosian. It was obvious that the news affected her, as well.

"I wanted to talk to you about Carson."

Elizabeth realized that of all the people in Atlantis, Teyla understood her position best. They both sat on one of the couches and looked at the ocean for a while. In the months that have passed since their arrival, the ocean had turned from a menace to a friend. It was a strange connection they all had with Earth. Looking at the ocean, they could almost forget where they were, that home was so far away.

"I wanted to ask you what you understood from what Carson said." Teyla explained.

"Well, his injury is more severe than we initially thought and he'll have to go back to Earth." As she said the words, Elizabeth thought of how Carson must have felt, preparing his words and then saying them in front of his friends.

"Apart from that, Doctor."

"Well, he said that… What do you mean?" Elizabeth knew that Teyla saw more than most of them did, she had a different way of dealing with people.

"When the Wraith were about to attack us, Carson said that he wished he wasn't here. Now, when he told us that he has to leave, there was regret in his voice."

"His friends are here, his work is here, I can understand him being sorry to leave."

"Yes, but he didn't realize it before. He didn't have to consider it before. Did you ever think about what would happen if you had to leave?"

Elizabeth realized that Teyla knew all of them better than they knew themselves.

"No, I didn't. But I don't know what to do."

"I also believe that Col. Sheppard knew about this."

"What do you mean?" Elizabeth felt a twinge in her stomach. She remembered the little incident before Carson's injury and her fears that he didn't trust her anymore came back.

"He wasn't surprised. Actually, he was trying to comfort him and show his support. He stayed behind, after we left."

"So you think Carson told John about it."

"I don't think he did it of his own accord." When he saw Elizabeth's puzzled look, she explained: "I mean, he didn't choose to tell him about it. Perhaps the Colonel overheard something, or interpreted some of Carson's words. They spent some time together, since Carson's release from the infirmary and had the chance to talk."

Elizabeth felt she had failed Carson. After he was released, she met him on the hallway once and asked him how he felt. Nothing more. She bowed her head and tried to think of a way to make it up to him, to repair the damage that she undoubtedly caused.

"I think that we can help him." Elizabeth rose her head when she heard Teyla's words.

"How?"

"We can make him realize what he means to us and that we didn't give up on him."

"If only he'll believe us." Elizabeth reached for her comm. and called John: "John? Can I have a word with you, please?"

"Just a minute, I'm in Rodney's lab. Sheppard out."

Elizabeth paled. She forgot about Rodney.

"Teyla, what do you think about Rodney?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you think he knew, as well?"

"I hope he did not. Because if he acted that way when knowing the truth, he is not the man I thought he was."