Many thaks for your reviews.

Rodney looked at the Schwartz, studying him. "Again? Did I miss something, Doctor?" He then turned to look at Carson. "Did I, Doctor?"

Carson sighed, a mix of annoyance and resignation. "Yes, you did. Because I chose not to tell you."

"One of my friends shoots another one of my friends and I don't get to find out. This whole honesty thing's working great, Carson. Anything else I should know?"

"I didn't tell you because I thought it would be better for you not to know," Carson said.

"Well, now that I know, why don't you explain it a bit better?" Rodney's voice was harsh and Carson felt everything they had achieved in the cave melt away. If he was ever to tell Rodney, now was the best time. Now was the only time. Either way, there was no going back.

"When we went into the force field and shot at that... beast, some of the bullets went through. John was shot," Carson said.

The Colonel nodded slowly, without looking at any of them.

"You shot him!" Rodney said, looking at Carson, surprised. "And you didn't say a word." It was obvious that Rodney didn't realise he had injured John, too, but his reaction was just as hurtful. It was as if he didn't trust Carson anymore, as if he saw him as a liability. "It's interesting that you decided to tell me this after we went off-world together. Did you consider that maybe you were a danger to the rest of us?" There wasn't any sign of the urgency that accompanied Rodney's voice when he was stressed or panicked. This was Rodney's rational opinion, and Carson couldn't find the words to answer.

"I knew and I decided he was okay," John intervened, trying to stop the downfall.

"Oh, yes, I remember, you took us to a planet and wanted us to kiss and make up. Thank you very much, Colonel, it's been very enlightening." With that, Rodney stormed out of the infirmary, medical check be damned.

"That went well," Sheppard commented when the sound of Rodney's footsteps faded completely.

Carson stood up from his chair and headed for his office, muttering.

"Carson, wait!" John called after him. "I'll... go talk to him. Sort things out. I didn't mean to eavesdrop back on the planet; I just wanted to see if you guys were talking to each other. He'll just get over -"

"You don't understand, John. I messed this up from the beginning. I am a liability and I am useless. I just wish I could have left you guys... in a better relationship."

"So what? You give up now?"

"What good did all that fighting do?" Carson entered his office, closing the door behind him.

John sighed, hoping everything would just reverse to the time on that planet. Maybe if he hadn't mocked Rodney, things would have been better. MALP on a stick. That's what fucked up two friendships. Three, actually.

"You could still talk to McKay," Ronon said. John had forgotten that the Satedan was there. "In fact, I think that you should."

The door to Rodney's quarters opened slowly to reveal the Canadian lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

"May I come in?"

"Is there anything you wish to say to me? Or you just want to convince me none of this really happened and we should just go back to... whatever it was before this mess started?"

"I wanna talk to you, Rodney."

"Fine." Rodney moved to a seating position and invited the Colonel to sit on chair. After a few moments of silence, John asked, "Did you tell Carson about the Chair accident?"

"Yes."

"Did he blame you?"

Rodney looked at him like he had just asked the craziest question ever. "No, he just... I don't know. There was something that made me feel like he did... but not quite blame. I really don't know what to think."

"If the roles would have been reversed, what would you have done?"

"It was an accident. Accidents happen all the time," Rodney said.

"Yes. And Carson knows that."

"Yes."

"But you ignored him afterwards. You said it was his fault."

Rodney bowed his head at John's words. "That upset him," he replied.

"Worse than that, Rodney, it hurt him. I was being... overprotective, I guess," John said.

Rodney slowly nodded. "That's why you came to listen to us. To make sure I wasn't making things worse."

"Kinda. I felt... he's more forgiving than I am. I couldn't believe he was letting go of it so fast, and I overreacted."

"You think he shouldn't have forgiven me?" Rodney asked, quietly.

"I know that I, as Carson's friend, haven't forgiven you yet."

"And as my friend?"

"I'm sorry about your mother. And I'm sorry you went through that alone. I know how hard it can be."

A soft knock on the door made Carson look up from the monitor. He had spent the day in his office, hoping he could find something useful to do. He had been quite busy, but he couldn't shake the feeling he wasn't as useful as he used to be. As he should be.

"John said I should shut up and listen. That you have some things to tell me." He also suggested apologizing, but it felt wrong somehow. They were still friends and they could fix things deeper than that.

"I do, but you're not going to like it." After Rodney sat down, Carson explained softly, "The evidence we had when we came back from that ascension-planet said that both of us shot John. I wanted to tell you, but -"

Rodney raised a hand to stop him. "I shot John and you didn't even tell me?" He shot up from his chair and darted for the door. "How could you?" He was in the doorframe when he remembered the way John had asked him to be calm and listen to Carson. Until the end. He slowly turned around, and looked at Carson for the first time in a long time. His friend was pale, slouched and crushed. Rodney returned to his chair and sat down. "Sorry. I got carried away. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew how guilty I felt and didn't want for you to feel the same way. I tried to, several times, but I could bring myself to do it. I talked to John about this and... I thought it was something you could live without knowing."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"You know... " With that, Rodney left, waving goodbye.