Three hours later, they had a plan. First they would clean out the garage.
"Do we need this?"
"What is it?"
"Ah. It's a... ah. Hm."
"Throw it in the box of things to sell."
"Okay."
"How 'bout we sell these to a museum? I think it's a typewriter but it might be a sewing machine. And this is definitely a TV."
"That's a radio, Lance. You put a picture in that screen there."
"How would you know?"
"I like old stuff."
"Oh. Still. You think a museum would want it?"
"Let's clean it up and find out."
"We are selling this stuff, right?"
Then came the visit from the museum curator.
"Interesting. We don't have models like this at the museum... do you have the paperwork?"
"Paperwork? We just found it here."
"You don't mean to sell it without paperwork verifying its authenticity, do you?"
After that was the yard sale.
"I saw that kid, you tried to walk off with those baseball cards..."
"No, mister, I swear I didn't."
"You can have 'em for three bucks."
"But I didn't-"
"What did you say kid?"
"Here Mister."
"That was low, Lance, even for you."
"Shut up, Summers. We're in the business to make a profit."
After the yard sale, they would transfer the furniture from the basement into the garage.
"OH MY GOD!! IT'S A RAT!! A GIANT ONE TOO!!!"
"Pietro. It's dead."
"BUT IT'S HERE!! IT EXISTS!!"
"The broom is shedding. We need a new one. Run to the store and pick one up, Pietro."
"Hey, Lance. You remember that cat Freddy brought home?"
"The one that disappeared. Yeah." Lance prodded the body. "Pietro always did say it looked like a rat."
"I think it was a possum."
"That may have been the case."
Once the furniture was removed, a blueprint of the floor was drawn up and ideas for decorating were thrown around.
"I drew it as accurately as possible. So are we gonna go with different themes in each room or just one straight color or wallpaper with a border? The theme part will be more expensive, we may have to get rid of some of our furniture to get new stuff, but it raises the overall value of the house, however, the simple way means that it'll be easier to pick furniture that matches each room, you can mix and match- whatever."
"Well, which will take longer?"
"Themes."
"Okay."
"We have one hundred rooms to develop themes for-"
"This house has a hundred rooms?"
"Yeah. Three floors, basement, cellar and attic. Anyhow. There are some rooms that might not need separate themes. Bathrooms, bedrooms, walk-in closets..."
"Let's do this one floor at a time."
"That's what I mean. Are we gonna use earth themes on the bottom-most floors, how will we do the halls? This floor is basically how we're gonna decorate the rest of the house."
"We'll trust you with that decision."
"You sure."
"Don't let us down."
"Okay..."
After plans for decorating were soldified, there was white paint to be bought to whitewash the walls so sketches of each 'theme' could be drawn.
"The basement has three rooms and a hallway. The stairwell doesn't really count. Basically, we want everything in here white. Nice smooth paint job, two or three layers, got it men?"
"Pietro. This is a bit much." Lance looked down at the layers upon layers of 'paint protection' Pietro had given them.
"I'm Major Harry Hands."
"Freddy, it wasn't funny. Where's Kurt? Why's he not helping?"
"He's polishing the chandeliers on the first floor. Now, if you start to feel light headed-"
"Go outside. We know dammit."
"Okay. Go for it."
The sketches would be pencilings of what Pietro would later go back and paint in. Since he, Kurt and Todd were the only ones with artistic liscenses, they were the most actively involved in this part.
"A few earthworms here and there, and don't forget roots. We want it look like the walls aren't here and you're staring right outside."
"Isn't there anything nice underground? Something that doesn't crawl or slither?"
"Pipes?"
"Dog poop."
"Nice. You two are so imaginative."
"Buried treasure."
"Skeletons."
"Enough."
While they drew, the others busied themselves with buying the paint that they asked for and polishing the furniture that was in the garage.
"Wow. I like this color."
"Man, it's like three shades lighter once you get all the dirt off. It makes all the difference, though."
"Yo, check this out, the wood is white!"
"No joke? I think it's blonde oak, I saw it on TV once. Looked like mahogany with all that crap on it, what'd you use?"
"Mike's grime strips."
"Seriously? I thought you would have used the sander on this bad boy."
"Yeah it needs it, but I thought, what the hell, why not let the Vitamin C work it's way in first."
"Ya' know that cheap stuff from the corner store works good too."
"Yeah? I'm gonna try that. Have you used the pick?"
"No, but Scott said that baby really feels good."
"Aw, man. You have no idea. Around those edges there, scrapes the scum right off."
"No kidding?"
Even though they went well over their self-allotted week, none of the mutants seemed to notice. Likewise, the X-Men didn't seem to notice that Kurt had taken up residence with them, or at least they never commented on it.
"It's been two weeks since I got in a fight."
"Yeah."
"So why am I still so sore?"
"It's your muscles, man. They're proud of you for doing such a good job. You really know how to handle that sander."
"Well, you know how electric tools are. Gotta show her who's boss."
"Yo."
Once the paint had dried, there remained a question of what to put on the floor.
"What to put on the floor... what to put on the floor..."
"A couple of throw rugs and then let's move on. I want to strip more furniture."
"Hey, I bought a few throw rugs that would look great in the basement." Kurt threw the throwrugs to Lance.
"Is this okay?"
"It'll do."
"So we start over, right? The moving and the painting and the stripping, right? Right?"
"Jesus, Lance. It's just a power stipper."
"It's the sexiest PowerPro Stipper I've ever laid eyes on."
"What?"
"Uh. Kitty, baby. Hey-"
"You know what Lance, I knew this would so, like, happen. It is so over."
"What is she talking about?"
"Women. They can't appreciate a man's toys..."
"Do we need this?"
"What is it?"
"Ah. It's a... ah. Hm."
"Throw it in the box of things to sell."
"Okay."
"How 'bout we sell these to a museum? I think it's a typewriter but it might be a sewing machine. And this is definitely a TV."
"That's a radio, Lance. You put a picture in that screen there."
"How would you know?"
"I like old stuff."
"Oh. Still. You think a museum would want it?"
"Let's clean it up and find out."
"We are selling this stuff, right?"
Then came the visit from the museum curator.
"Interesting. We don't have models like this at the museum... do you have the paperwork?"
"Paperwork? We just found it here."
"You don't mean to sell it without paperwork verifying its authenticity, do you?"
After that was the yard sale.
"I saw that kid, you tried to walk off with those baseball cards..."
"No, mister, I swear I didn't."
"You can have 'em for three bucks."
"But I didn't-"
"What did you say kid?"
"Here Mister."
"That was low, Lance, even for you."
"Shut up, Summers. We're in the business to make a profit."
After the yard sale, they would transfer the furniture from the basement into the garage.
"OH MY GOD!! IT'S A RAT!! A GIANT ONE TOO!!!"
"Pietro. It's dead."
"BUT IT'S HERE!! IT EXISTS!!"
"The broom is shedding. We need a new one. Run to the store and pick one up, Pietro."
"Hey, Lance. You remember that cat Freddy brought home?"
"The one that disappeared. Yeah." Lance prodded the body. "Pietro always did say it looked like a rat."
"I think it was a possum."
"That may have been the case."
Once the furniture was removed, a blueprint of the floor was drawn up and ideas for decorating were thrown around.
"I drew it as accurately as possible. So are we gonna go with different themes in each room or just one straight color or wallpaper with a border? The theme part will be more expensive, we may have to get rid of some of our furniture to get new stuff, but it raises the overall value of the house, however, the simple way means that it'll be easier to pick furniture that matches each room, you can mix and match- whatever."
"Well, which will take longer?"
"Themes."
"Okay."
"We have one hundred rooms to develop themes for-"
"This house has a hundred rooms?"
"Yeah. Three floors, basement, cellar and attic. Anyhow. There are some rooms that might not need separate themes. Bathrooms, bedrooms, walk-in closets..."
"Let's do this one floor at a time."
"That's what I mean. Are we gonna use earth themes on the bottom-most floors, how will we do the halls? This floor is basically how we're gonna decorate the rest of the house."
"We'll trust you with that decision."
"You sure."
"Don't let us down."
"Okay..."
After plans for decorating were soldified, there was white paint to be bought to whitewash the walls so sketches of each 'theme' could be drawn.
"The basement has three rooms and a hallway. The stairwell doesn't really count. Basically, we want everything in here white. Nice smooth paint job, two or three layers, got it men?"
"Pietro. This is a bit much." Lance looked down at the layers upon layers of 'paint protection' Pietro had given them.
"I'm Major Harry Hands."
"Freddy, it wasn't funny. Where's Kurt? Why's he not helping?"
"He's polishing the chandeliers on the first floor. Now, if you start to feel light headed-"
"Go outside. We know dammit."
"Okay. Go for it."
The sketches would be pencilings of what Pietro would later go back and paint in. Since he, Kurt and Todd were the only ones with artistic liscenses, they were the most actively involved in this part.
"A few earthworms here and there, and don't forget roots. We want it look like the walls aren't here and you're staring right outside."
"Isn't there anything nice underground? Something that doesn't crawl or slither?"
"Pipes?"
"Dog poop."
"Nice. You two are so imaginative."
"Buried treasure."
"Skeletons."
"Enough."
While they drew, the others busied themselves with buying the paint that they asked for and polishing the furniture that was in the garage.
"Wow. I like this color."
"Man, it's like three shades lighter once you get all the dirt off. It makes all the difference, though."
"Yo, check this out, the wood is white!"
"No joke? I think it's blonde oak, I saw it on TV once. Looked like mahogany with all that crap on it, what'd you use?"
"Mike's grime strips."
"Seriously? I thought you would have used the sander on this bad boy."
"Yeah it needs it, but I thought, what the hell, why not let the Vitamin C work it's way in first."
"Ya' know that cheap stuff from the corner store works good too."
"Yeah? I'm gonna try that. Have you used the pick?"
"No, but Scott said that baby really feels good."
"Aw, man. You have no idea. Around those edges there, scrapes the scum right off."
"No kidding?"
Even though they went well over their self-allotted week, none of the mutants seemed to notice. Likewise, the X-Men didn't seem to notice that Kurt had taken up residence with them, or at least they never commented on it.
"It's been two weeks since I got in a fight."
"Yeah."
"So why am I still so sore?"
"It's your muscles, man. They're proud of you for doing such a good job. You really know how to handle that sander."
"Well, you know how electric tools are. Gotta show her who's boss."
"Yo."
Once the paint had dried, there remained a question of what to put on the floor.
"What to put on the floor... what to put on the floor..."
"A couple of throw rugs and then let's move on. I want to strip more furniture."
"Hey, I bought a few throw rugs that would look great in the basement." Kurt threw the throwrugs to Lance.
"Is this okay?"
"It'll do."
"So we start over, right? The moving and the painting and the stripping, right? Right?"
"Jesus, Lance. It's just a power stipper."
"It's the sexiest PowerPro Stipper I've ever laid eyes on."
"What?"
"Uh. Kitty, baby. Hey-"
"You know what Lance, I knew this would so, like, happen. It is so over."
"What is she talking about?"
"Women. They can't appreciate a man's toys..."