A/N
This is Furor on seltzer. Pinapple flavored seltzer as if that's not bad enough. This humor thing, it's growing on me. Now I have this really weird looking thing like a third arm, only it's stickingout of my head. It's useful though. For pouring more seltzer into my cup. I can't drink with it because then I can't see the screen. Yup.
Thanks to Erin and Nightstone131302 for reviewing...
"I Tried"
FurorPaxx (VulgateOfEarth@hotmail.com)
Chapter 4- Meetings
"No. No, that's not what I meant at all. No, not a stripper, a... c'mon Kitty, hear me out. The guys and I were working on fixing the place up. We bought an electric sander and stripper and... well, I meant it like... Corvette kind of sexy. What? Hang on." Lance grabbed Pietro by the arm as he ran past. "Why didn't you tell me there's a girl named Corvette? Who the Hell names a girl Corvette?"
"I don't know. Tell her it was a Black and Decker."
"I did, she took it the wrong way."
"Find Scott."
"He said he never approved of our relationship and he's not gonna help. Pietro. Help. I need your expertice."
"Fine, since you so graciously acknowledge it."
Lance sighed with relief and turned back to the phone. "Kitty, look, I know it may have seemed like something shady was going on, but really, it's not." He read off a paper that Pietro held up for him. "Hey, I know what, you can come see what... we've done so far. Hang on." Lance covered the phone up. "Are you insane? This place is a worse mess than before! I can't invite her over here!"
"Well she wants to see the house. She ain't gonna believe you're being true unless you divulge your most painful secrets."
"You mean. I have to explain to her how to use the stripper?"
"I'm afraid so."
Lance looked distraught.
"Think if it this way buddy. She might get you one of those heavy duty screwdriver sets."
"Like Tim Allen uses?"
"Yeah."
"So, what do you say, Kitty? The place is still in the works, but once we're done it'll look great. Now? Okay. Sure, no problem. Bye." Lance hung up. "Pietro. Big problem. She wants to come over now."
"You warned her. What's the problem?"
"Kurt."
"Oh. That is a problem."
Kurt had gone on a shopping trip with Todd and Scott to nearby Urbway. So far, the X-Men still had no idea that he was living with the Brotherhood, or under what circumstances he had joined. If certain people found out, the results would be disasterous. As far as they knew, Kurt had run away. There were those who had their suspicions, after all Kurt had been happy, right? Then again, no one could deny that his behavior up until his departure had been... erratic. He would leave after curfew and come back right before Logan began his rounds. After a while he didn't even bother hiding the fact that he was leaving. If he walked in while Kitty was at the Brotherhood Mansion, there was no way that Evan wouldn't find out about Kurt's betrayal. Then, well. Things would get progressively worse as Rogue and Logan found out. Sure, there was Jean and Kitty and the Professor. At least they wouldn't flip, but that didn't help much.
"So what do we do?"
"You do your thing, I'll keep an eye out for them. I'll get Kurt to hide out.
"But. Scott has the car."
"You have all the luck don't you."
"Damn it. Even when we're on the same team, Summers always finds a way to ruin things for me."
As if to mock Lance's pain, the telephone and doorbell rang at the same time. Lance picked up the phone and Pietro headed for the door.
"Yeah." Lance muttered darkly into the phone.
"You will put Pietro on the phone now."
"Pietro. It's Wanda. Who's at the door? Pietro?"
"Are you sure it's Wanda on the phone?"
"She said I will put you on it. No questions. She's gonna hex you if you don't hurry."
"I am right here, and since when did I need a reason to hex dear Pietro?" a haughty voice enunciated in clipped tones. "Direct me to the imposter."
Pietro led his sister to the telephone and then he and Lance settle back to watch the... fireworks.
"Who are you and why are you talking to my brother? You will pay for your insolence, fool. Mark my words, something painful involving electricity will happen to you within the hour. Hoax?! You dare call me a hoax?!" The call was terminated by a rather large and energetic hex bolt. "What is going on here? This place is worse than usual."
"Uh. Wanda... are you feeling okay? You seem to be very... talkative. Hyper. Un-Wanda-ish. Sort of." She turned on Lance and Pietro shrunk in on himself.
"As a matter of fact, I'm feeling happy right now. It hurts, this feeling. I like this pain. Am I making sense?"
There was a moment of silence as Lance fought to come up with a witty comeback, but it was taking too long and his three-second-window of opportunity closed. So did the five second window, and the ten second and finally Wanda grew bored of waiting for a reaction from him and backed off.
"I smell stripper." Wanda inhaled and shakily walked, unerringly, to the room where all the paints, stippers, cleaners and equipment was being stored. "Ooooooh. Paint."
"Pietro. Your sister's high."
She whirled on Lance again. "I am not. I'm just happy. Happy. Are you trying to steal this from me? Are you?" She sniffed pathetically, a move that Pietro claimed to have invented.
"So why are you so happy?"
"He kissed me." She grinned broadly before wandering out of the room.
Lance and Pietro merely stood there. "Must be the fumes. Distorting the sound waves or something."
"Yeah. Or maybe all this DIY is getting to our heads. Making us hear things."
"That sounds about right."
So they muttered promises to take it easy on the stripper for a while and then went out to find their hallucinated version of Pietro's sister. She was in the kitchen.
"So I said sure, and we walked over to his house and he taught me how to bake cookies and then we went out in the garden and then he kissed me."
"Wow. You are so lucky. I don't think Mr. Perfect would ever wanna kiss me." Freddy said as he passed a bag of cookies to Wanda.
"Oh, I dunno. Maybe he's just waiting to meet you or something. It happened to me, who's to say it can't happen to you."
"You know what Wanda. You just may be right. I wonder where he is now..."
They sat in comfortable silence as a horrified Pietro and Lance looked on. Until the phone rang. Pietro was right beside it, so he picked it up. After a moment of silence, a voice tentatively said hi.
"Who are you?" Pietro asked rudely.
"Uh. My name's Kaysin. Does Wanda Maximoff live there?"
"Wanda? Live here?"
"Oh, oh! That's me, that's him, that's mine." She burbled happily (though maintaining her strength through the pain) and raced for the phone- in a different room.
"She's coming."
"Thanks. Who.. is this?"
"I'm her current lover. Let me tell you, when she pulls out the ropes, run. Cause the tongs always follow, man, and tongs mean scissors, if you know what I mean."
"Oh, don't worry. My imagination is taking care of everything you're not." Wanda came on then, with a long and innocent 'Hello.' It took one hell of an imagination to miss exactly how NOT innocent it was, so when Kaysin answered with a simple 'Oh, hey Wanda.' Pietro figured that his warning had gotten through.
"So. What now?"
"Kitty..."
"I would suggest you call her, but I guess Wanda's making life difficult again."
"Hey, why don't you invite Wanda's boyfriend over. He has a car. Ask him to get Kitty. He'll do it. He's nice like that." Freddy said around a mouthful of cookies.
"How do you know?"
"He bakes and keeps a garden."
"Yeah. Sounds like a pansy." Pietro mumbled.
"Great idea Freddy." Lance said as he took off to find Wanda.
"Great idea Freddy. Now we're gonna have Kitty, Mr. Perfect and my sister here all at the same time. All we need now is Mystique and my dad to come back." Pietro turned around and stared straight into a pair of icy blue eyes framed by white hair. Freddy caught him just before he hit the ground.
This is Furor on seltzer. Pinapple flavored seltzer as if that's not bad enough. This humor thing, it's growing on me. Now I have this really weird looking thing like a third arm, only it's stickingout of my head. It's useful though. For pouring more seltzer into my cup. I can't drink with it because then I can't see the screen. Yup.
Thanks to Erin and Nightstone131302 for reviewing...
"I Tried"
FurorPaxx (VulgateOfEarth@hotmail.com)
Chapter 4- Meetings
"No. No, that's not what I meant at all. No, not a stripper, a... c'mon Kitty, hear me out. The guys and I were working on fixing the place up. We bought an electric sander and stripper and... well, I meant it like... Corvette kind of sexy. What? Hang on." Lance grabbed Pietro by the arm as he ran past. "Why didn't you tell me there's a girl named Corvette? Who the Hell names a girl Corvette?"
"I don't know. Tell her it was a Black and Decker."
"I did, she took it the wrong way."
"Find Scott."
"He said he never approved of our relationship and he's not gonna help. Pietro. Help. I need your expertice."
"Fine, since you so graciously acknowledge it."
Lance sighed with relief and turned back to the phone. "Kitty, look, I know it may have seemed like something shady was going on, but really, it's not." He read off a paper that Pietro held up for him. "Hey, I know what, you can come see what... we've done so far. Hang on." Lance covered the phone up. "Are you insane? This place is a worse mess than before! I can't invite her over here!"
"Well she wants to see the house. She ain't gonna believe you're being true unless you divulge your most painful secrets."
"You mean. I have to explain to her how to use the stripper?"
"I'm afraid so."
Lance looked distraught.
"Think if it this way buddy. She might get you one of those heavy duty screwdriver sets."
"Like Tim Allen uses?"
"Yeah."
"So, what do you say, Kitty? The place is still in the works, but once we're done it'll look great. Now? Okay. Sure, no problem. Bye." Lance hung up. "Pietro. Big problem. She wants to come over now."
"You warned her. What's the problem?"
"Kurt."
"Oh. That is a problem."
Kurt had gone on a shopping trip with Todd and Scott to nearby Urbway. So far, the X-Men still had no idea that he was living with the Brotherhood, or under what circumstances he had joined. If certain people found out, the results would be disasterous. As far as they knew, Kurt had run away. There were those who had their suspicions, after all Kurt had been happy, right? Then again, no one could deny that his behavior up until his departure had been... erratic. He would leave after curfew and come back right before Logan began his rounds. After a while he didn't even bother hiding the fact that he was leaving. If he walked in while Kitty was at the Brotherhood Mansion, there was no way that Evan wouldn't find out about Kurt's betrayal. Then, well. Things would get progressively worse as Rogue and Logan found out. Sure, there was Jean and Kitty and the Professor. At least they wouldn't flip, but that didn't help much.
"So what do we do?"
"You do your thing, I'll keep an eye out for them. I'll get Kurt to hide out.
"But. Scott has the car."
"You have all the luck don't you."
"Damn it. Even when we're on the same team, Summers always finds a way to ruin things for me."
As if to mock Lance's pain, the telephone and doorbell rang at the same time. Lance picked up the phone and Pietro headed for the door.
"Yeah." Lance muttered darkly into the phone.
"You will put Pietro on the phone now."
"Pietro. It's Wanda. Who's at the door? Pietro?"
"Are you sure it's Wanda on the phone?"
"She said I will put you on it. No questions. She's gonna hex you if you don't hurry."
"I am right here, and since when did I need a reason to hex dear Pietro?" a haughty voice enunciated in clipped tones. "Direct me to the imposter."
Pietro led his sister to the telephone and then he and Lance settle back to watch the... fireworks.
"Who are you and why are you talking to my brother? You will pay for your insolence, fool. Mark my words, something painful involving electricity will happen to you within the hour. Hoax?! You dare call me a hoax?!" The call was terminated by a rather large and energetic hex bolt. "What is going on here? This place is worse than usual."
"Uh. Wanda... are you feeling okay? You seem to be very... talkative. Hyper. Un-Wanda-ish. Sort of." She turned on Lance and Pietro shrunk in on himself.
"As a matter of fact, I'm feeling happy right now. It hurts, this feeling. I like this pain. Am I making sense?"
There was a moment of silence as Lance fought to come up with a witty comeback, but it was taking too long and his three-second-window of opportunity closed. So did the five second window, and the ten second and finally Wanda grew bored of waiting for a reaction from him and backed off.
"I smell stripper." Wanda inhaled and shakily walked, unerringly, to the room where all the paints, stippers, cleaners and equipment was being stored. "Ooooooh. Paint."
"Pietro. Your sister's high."
She whirled on Lance again. "I am not. I'm just happy. Happy. Are you trying to steal this from me? Are you?" She sniffed pathetically, a move that Pietro claimed to have invented.
"So why are you so happy?"
"He kissed me." She grinned broadly before wandering out of the room.
Lance and Pietro merely stood there. "Must be the fumes. Distorting the sound waves or something."
"Yeah. Or maybe all this DIY is getting to our heads. Making us hear things."
"That sounds about right."
So they muttered promises to take it easy on the stripper for a while and then went out to find their hallucinated version of Pietro's sister. She was in the kitchen.
"So I said sure, and we walked over to his house and he taught me how to bake cookies and then we went out in the garden and then he kissed me."
"Wow. You are so lucky. I don't think Mr. Perfect would ever wanna kiss me." Freddy said as he passed a bag of cookies to Wanda.
"Oh, I dunno. Maybe he's just waiting to meet you or something. It happened to me, who's to say it can't happen to you."
"You know what Wanda. You just may be right. I wonder where he is now..."
They sat in comfortable silence as a horrified Pietro and Lance looked on. Until the phone rang. Pietro was right beside it, so he picked it up. After a moment of silence, a voice tentatively said hi.
"Who are you?" Pietro asked rudely.
"Uh. My name's Kaysin. Does Wanda Maximoff live there?"
"Wanda? Live here?"
"Oh, oh! That's me, that's him, that's mine." She burbled happily (though maintaining her strength through the pain) and raced for the phone- in a different room.
"She's coming."
"Thanks. Who.. is this?"
"I'm her current lover. Let me tell you, when she pulls out the ropes, run. Cause the tongs always follow, man, and tongs mean scissors, if you know what I mean."
"Oh, don't worry. My imagination is taking care of everything you're not." Wanda came on then, with a long and innocent 'Hello.' It took one hell of an imagination to miss exactly how NOT innocent it was, so when Kaysin answered with a simple 'Oh, hey Wanda.' Pietro figured that his warning had gotten through.
"So. What now?"
"Kitty..."
"I would suggest you call her, but I guess Wanda's making life difficult again."
"Hey, why don't you invite Wanda's boyfriend over. He has a car. Ask him to get Kitty. He'll do it. He's nice like that." Freddy said around a mouthful of cookies.
"How do you know?"
"He bakes and keeps a garden."
"Yeah. Sounds like a pansy." Pietro mumbled.
"Great idea Freddy." Lance said as he took off to find Wanda.
"Great idea Freddy. Now we're gonna have Kitty, Mr. Perfect and my sister here all at the same time. All we need now is Mystique and my dad to come back." Pietro turned around and stared straight into a pair of icy blue eyes framed by white hair. Freddy caught him just before he hit the ground.