Finally, the long awaited next chapter of the Fartemit Owl series! Sorry for the long wait. This is where the story is sort of... different from the original.
To my reviewers:
Sorry, but I can't answer them right now. Maybe later!
Chapter 8. Brolly vs. the Mole
Brolly stepped out of the 'coffin', shaking like a leaf in a ten-force gale. The relatively short, smooth trip up a completely straight tunnel had shaken Brolly up considerably. I'd better kick Moley's pink ass to hell when I get back, thought Brolly. Wait, I've already kicked him today. Better kick him tomorrow.
She walked down the stark white aisle, coming to a pair of double doors. There was a ceiling-to-floor mirror next to the doors, and she checked herself before walking out. Satisfied, she pushed open the doors.
To any casual passer-by, they would have seen a young clean-up lady walk out the entrance that said 'Staff Only'. Brolly's uniform matched all the other clean-up organization uniforms, and if you added the trolley, voila!
The door had led to an abandoned, wouldn't-be-surprised-if-ghosts-appeared shopping arcade. Fairy security was good by their standards, but this relied on a very important thing: human stupidity and ignorance. But then again, as some guy said a long time ago, "The 2 most common elements in the Universe are Hydrogen and stupidity", so no problems there. But there had been cases where some curious kids had managed to get pass the double doors. A few decades ago, two kids had managed to get in, in the very shopping arcade Brolly had just emerged into. They saw everything; fairies, gadgets, modes of transport, all the secrets of the fairy people. Fortunately, nobody believed them, but both have become very accomplished fantasy authors (Eoin Colfer being one of them.).
Brolly pushed the trolley (hey, that rhymes!) across the large expanse of shops. However, there was probably no point in wearing the disguise, because the shopping mall had been abandoned fifteen years ago. But the elves didn't know that. All the shop windows had been smashed, the mannequins either naked or stolen or ripped apart, and most of the shop names swinging absurdly on one hinge.
She reached the double doors without much incident (it was only ten metres away from the shuttle port anyway). She stopped, let go of the trolley (which was being pulled back in by some magical invisible chewing gum), and took off the uniform, revealing… a uniform. Boy, wasn't that simple.
She walked across to the transparent, red box where the fire hose was contained. She opened it, revealing something else entirely. You see, the inside of the box had been cleverly concealed by a camouflaging effect on the glass pane. Well, to be honest, Moley had just printed a relatively large picture of a fire hose and stuck it on the front, but nobody ever noticed. Either that, or they just didn't care.
Anyway, the inside of the fire hose box was a weird looking, metal-ish looking, and complicated-looking mess. Apparently, this was Moley's latest innovation on one of his other pointless thingies: the jetpack. When she first saw the contraption, Brolly was sceptical: This thing flies? You've gotta be kidding me. However, when she had seen Moley test it out, she had to admit that, under control, it could be useful. However, Moley had never actually gotten the hang of it, and ended up in hospital for a few weeks.
Brolly took out the contraption, grabbing a pipe that had nearly fallen off the 'jetpack'. She strapped it on, walked out the door, and pulled a series of cords, pushed a series of buttons, pulled a couple of levers, until finally, it spluttered into life.
'God,' muttered Brolly, 'that took over ten minutes! One of my fastest records, I've got to say.' She then pulled another lever, and soared into the sky, belching black smoke in the rear.
Meanwhile, in the abandoned furniture store, something that was most definitely not a rogue mole was chewing, or at least attempting to chew on a chair leg. After staying on the same leg for the past four hours, the thing dressed in cheap, fake bear skin rugs and a Halloween mask hadn't gotten very far.
After a few more minutes, the thing stopped, and whispered into, it seemed, its hand.
'Fake mole calling to retarded genius. Fake mole calling to retarded genius. How much longer?' it whispered, and suddenly, he pulled off the mask to reveal the much more realistic, yet uglier face of Buttleg. That meant that the 'retarded genius' was…
'Demented whiz kid calling to bogus animal, you've got the friggin' code names wrong again! Will you ever learn?' came the reply. The reply was so loud that, not only could Buttleg hear Fartemit's scream in the headphones, he also heard it from inside the small cabinet where his retarded master was hiding. Buttleg knew that, inside that tiny cabinet, there was a whole load of useless junk: a BB gun, a toy gun that made noises, a plastic piece of armour from a medieval knight play set, and a set of walkie-talkies, like Buttleg. Behind his back, Buttleg knew, there was a net used normally to catch butterflies. Buttleg doubted that the net was powerful enough to subdue a 'magical fairy thingy' or whatever.
Suddenly, a tall, female creature with what looked like a fire extinguisher on her back, trailing black smoke, flew threw the window, and smashed into a bed that was placed right by the cabinet that Fartemit was in (or vice versa). She swore, spluttered, tore the 'bloody thing' off, and murmured something about 'kickin' Moley's pink ass when she got back'. Both men were absolutely bewildered, but went along with it anyway.
She got off the bed, and was dusting herself down, when Fartemit, as quietly as he could, opened the cabinet door (Buttleg had half hoped that his master was trapped inside), got out the net, and crept up from behind. Just as he was about to swing the net over her, she stepped forward, seeming to have noticed Buttleg dressed up in rugs. She stared and stared, then finally collapsed laughing. Buttleg felt utterly humiliated. But it gave him some satisfaction that Fartemit had landed on the floor, flat on his face.
How much dumber can they get? (Answer: a whole lot MORE!)