It's been a while, hasn't it. During that time, I've seen two movies, bought a tennis raquet, visited the place where Napoleon and Wellington played soldiers, and found out I'll be taking French classes from the 21st till the 28th, every day, ALL DAY. Life is ok, I guess.

Anyway, NEW CHAPTER! Rejoice!

(A.N. - There's a word of warning further down the page. Make sure you read it, or you might ruin your computer.)

Chapter 13. - Operation Get-That-Damn-Useless-Dumbass-of-an-Inspector-Back-By-Happy-Hour Part 2.

Smoot was sitting on his new chair, in his new office, with his feet up on his new desk, doing absolutely nothing. He had forgotten completely about the destruction that he had caused the night before (probably because I mind-wiped him and everyone else in the entire world. Praise me.) This is basically what ELF Chief Inspectors did. Nothing. As some wise-guy once said, 'At the bottom of the pile, people work 24/7, tryin' to cram in as much as they can, while either kissin' ass or stabbin' people in the back. But as you go higher up, you begin to do less and less, do less ass-kissin' and back-stabbin', and if you get to the top, it suddenly becomes the reverse. You try to cram in as little as possible, you get your ass kissed, and if you're unlucky, your back stabbed. Now gimme my money... Hey, we had a deal! You... thud aaaaaaaarrrrrrgghhhh...' (The tape ends there)

Getting back towhat-there-is left-of-thepoint, as Smoot was folding his 154th paper aeroplane, Moley burst into the office.

'Yo, Oggy!' said the pink-loving centaur as he burst into the office, calling Smoot by the name he detested most. 'I just remembered something!' But before he could continue, he suddenly felt himself falling very, very quickly down a dark, long tunnel. Oh crap, he thought. Smoot uses this thing to get rid of annoying employees. Ohhhhh, crap.

Meanwhile, Smoot was laughing his head off, mostly due to the fact that he couldn't believe that the centaur had been so stupid. In fact, he was laughing so hard that he fell down the hole too. We'll see them again later. Unfortunately.

After the incident with the… uh… living room, Brolly refused to leave her cell in fear that she would find other things that would bring up her breakfast, lunch and supper of the previous 4 weeks. Because of this, Fartemit believed she was no longer plotting to escape the Manor, and was just lying in the cell doing nothing. However, as usual, he was completely and utterly wrong.

Since he hadn't put any cameras into the cell, he had no idea what she did during her spare time, which Brolly used to her advantage. What she was actually doing was building a tunnel from her cell into the next room, the Owl Manor Control Room (more about it later). However, she could have just walked out her cell, down the corridor, and walked into the control room, which was never locked. But Brolly had a tendency to do everything the hard way, which showed. She was currently using a plastic spoon which she'd received during lunch to eat some cold steak with.

She was about two centimeters towards the wrong direction, when the door slowly opened, and Fartemit walked in. To the casual onlooker, he looked almost undignified (and that was good for Fartemit). He was currently wearing a t-shirt with the inscription, "The Man ↑ - The Legend ↓", and a pair of jeans with the belt as low as humanly possible on his hips. In his hand he had a syringe with a strange green liquid filled up to the brim.

'Hello, Brolly,' said Fartemit, like the creep he was. 'It's time for your injection…'

'What the hell are you on about?' asked Brolly. 'Since when did I start getting injections, slimeball?' (A.N. – Slimeball does not refer to the humans like 'mudboy' does in the original series by Eoin Colfer, praise thy socks. It's just Brolly's favourite word. Just so you know.)

Fartemit gave a girly giggle. 'Well, I've been giving you these injections everyday, ever since you came here. Usually when you're asleep, so you don't realize.'

A dreadful truth dawned on Brolly: That creep has been touching me in strange places when I'm not awake. She immediately took action by slapping him to the ground and knocking him out in 10 seconds flat. When she was finished, she screamed 'PERVE!' at his unconscious body, and kicked him in his private area. She then returned to trying to dig a hole through the wall into the Control Room. Still in the wrong direction, of course.

(Before we continue, a word of warning: if you feel queasy very easily, or you've just eaten a big meal, do NOT read.)

When Moley eventually reached the end of the tunnel, he was relieved to find a huge pile of something soft and mushy congealing, which cushioned his fall quite a bit. A stench immediately overwhelmed him.

'Uuughhh,' urghed Moley, covering his nose. 'Stinks like Smoot's two year-old underwear! (he refrained from telling us how he knew) Phew! What is this stuff anyway?'

That was when the pink-loving centaur realized he was not alone. The soft, squishy, congealing mass that had broken his fall was in fact bodies of either unexpecting or just plain stupid people who had previously fallen down the tunnel. When Moley came to this realization, he immediately threw up on what he thought was the body of a very old elf.

'Oi! What the hell do ya think you're doin'?' said the previously-thought-to-be-dead old elf in a British-thug-accent. Moley was so taken aback that he threw up all over the old elf, again, pissing off the elf further.

Just when the elf was about to attack Moley, Smoot suddenly made his entrance, landing right on the old elf, submerging the poor creature in liquidating bodies (sorry to be so graphic).

'Aaaar...glub' was the elf's last word, before he was suffocated by the smell and the bodies. If you're good at reading between the lines, you've probably realized that he has appeared in this chapter already. Guess where…

'MOLEY! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!' screamed the Chief Inspector, before throwing up all over Moley. Now you know how I felt, you retarded dumbass, was the last thought of the suffocated old elf as he slowly floated towards heaven, then took a sharp dive downwards into Hell.

My new pink sweatshirt is absolutely ruined, thought Moley as he slowly wiped some of Smoot's puke off his face. I think it's time to end the chapter, I don't think the readers don't want to read about all this disgusting crap.

And he was right.

Very soon, I will somehow bring the plot together again! Kind of. Maybe. Umm...

JUST REVIEW, DAMMIT!