Tales of Symphonia: Screwing the Plot
Hey, thanks for more great reviews! This is the next chapter, so remember, I don't own any of it.
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Chapter 6: Meet Rodyle the Rappin' Chicken!
While Lloyd was being taken to Meltokio to the inn in Ozette (remember, sleep cures all wounds), the other three heroes were anxiously awaiting the coming of Raine.
"I wonder what's taking her so long," wondered Genis aloud.
"Oh, I know," said Colette. "Maybe Yuan caught her and forced her to-"
"No, NO! Don't even make me think about it!"
"-watch his soaps with him."
"AHHHH! How could he DO SUCH A THING!"
Then Raine flew by on a Rheaird-looking thing that let off a delightful oven-baked smell of apple pie.
"Raine, where were you!" asked Lloyd.
"Yuan let me borrow his Pee-aird."
"What! Didn't he piss-charge that thing?"
"Nope. Thanks to apple pie, no urine was required!"
Everyone let their jaws drop in disbelief.
Kratos regained his composure. "Alright, if there's one thing we should do, it's defeat the other Desian Grand Cardinals."
"Why?" asked Lloyd, randomly reappearing.
"Why? WHY? Stupid kid, they are a frickin' THREAT to this frickin' WORLD! Use your head or something!"
Lloyd began sobbing uncontrollably and ran back to whence he came.
Yeh. Anyway...
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Location: Remote Island Human Ranch
? shook his head. "No, no, this will never do. Those so-called heroes need a REAL treat when they arrive. HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Lord Rodyle, plans are running smoothly."
"Shut up, moron!" snapped Rodyle. "You just ruined my secret, mysterious identity otherwise known as !"
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Location: Altamira, the Seaside Disco Club
Genis sighed. "Why are we here, now?"
Kratos coughed. "We're here to see my long lost Scandinavian brother."
Zelos suddenly ran in with a Viking helmet and a broadsword. "Alright, let's go and beat up some Desians!"
Everyone backed away from Zelos.
"Fine, fine, I'll lose the hat."
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Location: Otherworldly Gate
Raine was buried deep in a book of research. "According to this book, we should be able to return to Sylvarant via the Otherworldly Gate, where we now stand, thanks to its bipolarity with Sylvarant."
Kratos coughed loudly. "We do have the Rheairds."
"Yeah, but this is cooler. Besides, it only opens when we suddenly gain the ability to enter, which is approximately at the beginning of the final tier of the first disc."
Colette pondered. "Yeah, how come the night of the full moon is whatever night it is when we talk to that guy in the Lezareno building?"
"Who cares?"
Then Sheena walked over. "Yo, homies."
Presea flew overhead in a Rheaird, dropped down into the gate, and began to break dance with Sheena. Then Regal came in and started to do the coffee grinder. While this was going on, Lloyd randomly reappeared again, and began to rap.
Zelos smiled. "Sheena's so hot when she break dances."
At the end of the dance, everyone bowed, and Sheena, Presea and Regal joined the party. Wahoo.
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Location: Palmacosta Ranch
The eightsome headed into the Palmacosta Ranch, which was mysteriously connected to Rodyle's ranch.
"Alright, this is the entrance. If we enter here and keep going straight, we should eventually reach the top floor, where Rodyle lies," said Kratos.
"Heck, no, let's just fly to the top," said Zelos, as he, Kratos, Colette and Lloyd flew to the top. Then Lloyd pushed Colette over the edge, and flew Raine to the top, because they would need a healer in the upcoming battle.
"Alright then???, here we come!"
Rodyle appeared. "I've been expeeeeecting you. I am Rodyle N. Dread, the most cu- what's so funny?" he demanded.
"You-you're a chicken!" laughed Zelos.
"I am NOT! I am Rodyle N. Dread... oh, wait... Rodlye N. Dread... Rhode Island Red... damn you, mother, for giving me such a terrible name! No wonder nobody liked me and I was forced to work as a mad scientist every day of my pathetic adult life! CURSE YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Rodyle's mother randomly teleported into the room (she must be HECKA old) and slapped him. "You will NOT curse you mother, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
And she left from whence she came.
"Yeah... anyways, like I was saying... DOUBLE DISCO FANG!" yelled Zelos.
Rodyle staggered under the blows. "AGH! You idiot! Do you realize what you have done? You just hit me! Hit me with a funky beat that is..."
Rodyle began to rap:
Yo yo yo yo,
Yo yo yo yo,
Can you move like Rodyle,
The chicken man?
He looks like a turtle
And moves like it can!
He's got the Mana Cannon
In his underground lair,
He's a sexy beast
And his underwear's got flair!
Rodyle, Rodyle, hiiit me with the funky beat!
Rodyle, Rodyle, hiiit me with the funky beat!
Rodyle did a triple backflip, and bowed to his audience. Lloyd, Zelos, Kratos and Raine applauded, truly amazed by Rodyle's ability to rap. Kratos then proceeded to kick his butt, killing him in the process.
"Old rappin' grampas deserve no mercy."
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END OF CHAPTER 6
Yes, Rodyle just rapped. So... read, review, flame if you must.