Tales of Symphonia: Screwing the Plot
Hey, here's the next chappie. I hope the utter randomness will climax here (yes, sadly, thanks to my skipping over half the game, this fic is hitting the tail end of its lifespan) So, without further ado, I own nothing.
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Chapter 7: That's Prony G, Foo'
After kicking Rodyle's butt in his ranch, the group contemplated on their next and final step.
"If mathematics serve me correctly, there is a 100 percent chance that one Desian Grand Cardinal remains," Presea said.
"Yes," said Regal.
"Dude, if you're gonna say something, at least advance the plot."
"Retain your buccal cavity, Chosen, or I will be forced to restrict all movements made possible by nervous influxes."
Stupid Regal and his big words.
"Ahem, if I can suggest something, maybe we should go form pacts with all the Summon Spirits. You know, so the plot doesn't screw up so much more, and to put the world in danger," suggested Sheena.
"You know what, screw that," Kratos said, losing his sanity. "I say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it's broke, screw it. So we're screwing it."
The group nodded their assent, and headed towards the Tower of Salvation, where they prepared to destroy Cruxis' leader, Maurice Yggdrasill.
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Location: Tower of Salvation
As soon as the group entered the Tower of Salvation, Zelos nodded. "Okay, Colette come here for a sec."
"Okay," she replied. She walked over and slapped him while beating him to the ground. "That's right, I know your little plans! You should never have crossed us! You thought you could hide who you really were, but it's too late! Now it's all over!"
Zelos cried. "Alright, I admit, I wanted to take dancing lessons from Lord Yggdrasill! Don't kill me!"
Colette stared vacantly. "Oh, I thought you were transgendered. Hehe, oops."
Everyone just sighed for the hopeless Colette.
"Alright, let's keep going. To the hall of the Great Disco Club!" Kratos said gallantly.
"Dude, STOP GALLANTLY DOING STUFF!"
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Location: The Great Disco Club
Maurice Yggdrasill and his sister Robin were in the hall of the great Disco Club. Well, Robin was actually living on as a lifeless being inside a Cruxis Record. Then the nine heroes arrived, and Maurice looked royally pissed.
"Kratos, yo betray me! You foo' pissin' me off an' all!"
"What's he saying?" asked Lloyd.
"Dat's right, foos! Dis' Kratos guy used to be ma' homie!"
"What? Kratos, you used to dance with this guy?" asked Genis. "In that purple suit?"
"Heck, no! Purple is not for disco. This-" a bright light shone, and Kratos was now in his Judgment costume. "-is for disco."
Kratos earned the title of "Get Down Tonight!"
Kratos began to shimmy, along with Yggdrasill.
"Augh, dude, you know, I'm reeeeeeally glad I didn't actually take those lessons after seeing your moves just now," said Zelos, freaked out.
"Don't you be dissin' me, foo'! Yo Pron-y-ma! Take care of these foos!"
A punk voice shot out from the back room. "That be Prony G to you, foo'!"
Pronyma (henceforth known as "Prony G") came out in her punk outfit. "What you lookin' at?" she asked Lloyd.
"Dude, that doesn't look like a disco outfit."
"Disco? I rap! Watch!"
Pronyma began to rap:
My name's Prony G and I rock the telly.
I'm half Lord Yggy and a third Goth Hottie.
I'm a kung fu hippie, from Derris-Kharlan!
I'm a rappin' surfer, you da' foo' I pity!
Presea, unhappy with the fact that she had no personality, began to break into dance.
Presea earned the title of "WTF?"
"Yo dancin' SUCKS, foo'!" shouted Presea, spinning on her head.
"Erggh... I show you, my and my peeps beat you and yo' peeps any day!"
Prony G's "peeps" (Angel Swordians in afros and bell-bottom pants) began to break into dance with her.
Presea grabbed Regal, Zelos and Sheena. "C'mon, homies, we show dees foos how to dance! Fo'shizzle!"
Regal acquired "Crescent Moon!"
Sheena acquired "Disco Seal!"
Zelos acquired "Disco Inferno!"
Presea acquired "Eternal Discotation!"
"Now, ma homies, les put on a show for dees foos!"
Regal used Crescent Moon, kicking Prony G and mooning her, gauging her eyes out and doing enough damage to leave her with 1 HP at the end of the assault.
Presea attacked her peeps from up close, while Sheena and Zelos hit them from afar. Soon, Prony G and her peeps were outclassed.
"PWN'D!" shouted Presea.
"Maurice Yggdrasill... have mercy!" she cried.
He suddenly became alert. "Only my former disco partners may call me by that name!" He severely outdanced her, and she died of shame.
Suddenly a record came to life.
"Yes, she is REVIVING! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Robin Yggdrasill, Maurice's sister, appeared from the record for a brief second, flipped off Maurice, disappeared, and blew up the record from which she was imprisoned.
Maurice, looking genuinely hurt, stared at them long and hard. "I'll kill you all, foos!"
Regal looked around uneasily. "We did nothing to appease your anger, unless you add into that account the meager fact that we utterly destroyed the final threat to our worlds manifested in a Desian physical format."
Maurice got pissed off and used "Funkment" on the party, in which case several strobe lights appeared and blinded the party.
"HA! That'll show you! Now, if you'll excuse me..."
Maurice went into the back room, which secretly transformed into a dance floor. Seen are Yuan and Botta, who are sliding across the floor on their heads. Maurice flung the doors open, and a shiny aura surrounded him.
"Da King is in da hizz-ouse!"
They danced, got drunk, and Botta died of severe alcohol poisoning, sending him to AP hell with Kvar.
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Location: Alcohol Poisoning Hell
Kvar sat on his flaming stool boredly. "Dude, is there anything interesting we can do?"
Botta sighed. "Nope. This is all we've got. Now... got any threes?"
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END OF CHAPTER 7
Okay, I'm no expert on that kind of talk, so I guess it probably got a bit redundant. Ah, well. Read, review, flame if you must.