Tales of Symphonia: Screwing The Plot
Hey, thanks for more great reviews, and some dancing that I might not want to have seen. Here's the next chapter, completely unrelated to the plot (although there was already a lack of one when this started.)
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Chapter 9: And Now We Dance
"Well now, since the worlds will remain as they are thanks to Raine-" Kratos glares daggers at Raine for a few moments. "-and Elvis has beaten Maurice into a long coma, what should we do now?"
Elvis piped up. "What else? WE DANCE!"
Pronyma suddenly reappeared.
"Alright, let's go!"
Desian Rap
Can you move like Rodyle,
The chicken man?
He looks like a turtle
And moves like one can.
He's got the Mana Cannon,
In his underground lair,
He's a sexy beast,
And his underwear's got flair!
Rodyle appears onstage.
Are you smooth like Kvar,
The ladies' man?
He talks like a Brit,
And charms like one can.
He kills poor captives
In the Asgard ranch.
He can't open his eyes,
But he sure can dance!
Kvar enters, doing the moonwalk, then does a triple spin and starts to do the rap with them.
Do you look like Magnius,
The ugly one?
He's got scars everywhere,
And look at how his hair is done!
He looks really buff,
But has a sad past.
He got beat up by Colette,
And has an ugly diaper rash!
Magnius comes out crying, but ends up joining the rap.
Are you cool like Forcy,
The gangsta dude?
He's got a nice Harley,
And lives in da' hood!
He's got a nice leather jacket,
And a switchblade, too,
Ever wonder why his hair is green,
It's a natural do!
Forcystus is walking onstage, all gangster style, and joins the rap.
Are you hot like Pronyma,
The sexy babe?
She looks super emo,
And got accused of rape!
She uses too much make-up,
And her hair is screwed,
Her clothes are real skimpy
And her voice is crude!
Pronyma beats Forcystus over the head for coming up with such a bad rhyme at the end.
Colette was the only one that cheered.
Kratos coughed. "Now what?"
"I believe I can help," said Yuan.
Yuan and Botta went onstage.
Stacker, stacker, st-st-st stacker!
You take a patty from the grill, and you put it on top,
You take another from the grill, and you put it on to-
Kratos stabs Botta. "Dude, I HATE that song!"
Yuan cried and went... somewhere. Five minutes later, he came back with the manager from the nearest Burger King.
"You... you insulted our Stacker! Prepare to die!"
Kratos smirked. "Whatcha going to do? Spoon-ic Thrust?"
The manager took out his spatula sword and pan shield. "Super Spoon-ic Thrust!"
Kratos sweatdropped. "Whoa, whoa, I was just kidding!"
"Spatula Rain!"
"OWOW! OW!"
"Tiger Butterknife!"
"Well, that wasn't so bad..."
"Rising Pitchfork!"
"WTF? Since when do fast food restaurants have pitchforks?"
"Omega Temperature!"
"Okay, now you're just running out of ideas."
"Eternal Pan-nation!"
"OW!"
"Resolute Toothpick-tion!"
"Geez, your moves suck!"
"Onion Ring Cyclone!"
"WTF?"
"Onion Ring Whirlwind!"
"WTF?"
"Fry Thrust!"
"WTF?"
"Fry Satellite!"
"WTF?"
"Lightning Butterknife!"
"Kay, I'm leaving now..."
"No, wait! I must inflict Finality Pan-ishment upon you!"
"I'm not talking to you..."
Yuan smacked his forehead. "What the hell was I thinking?"
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END OF CHAPTER 9
Yes, that was quite random. Not my best work, so read, review, flame if you must.