Chapter Seventeen: Sadness and Shock
"It wasn't your fault, Godfather," said Elrond II softly, looking up into the elf-lord's eyes. "You didn't know it would happen."
Elrond I gazed silently down at his younger self, who gently brushed the moisture from his face with a small hand. The half-elf gave a small smile at the gesture, turning his head to look out of the bedroom's one window. Stars twinkled in the dusky sky, and one shone out brighter than the rest. Elrond I pointed out to it, saying, "Do you see that bright star, there?"
The twins followed his finger, nodding. "What about it?"
"Well," the elf-lord answered, smiling quietly, "that star is your Ada, sailing through the sky on his silver ship."
Elros stared at him in surprise. "That's Ada?"
Elrond I nodded. "Yes indeed. Do you know how he got there?"
"How?" Elrond II piped up.
"It all started when your father left Sirion, two years ago," Elrond I replied, remembering the tales and songs he had heard. "He was sailing across the Sea because of his desire to see the Undying Lands of Valinor…"
He went on to describe how Eärendil and three of his friends had set sail across Belegaer in search of the Undying Lands, but never caught a glimpse of what they were seeking. He recalled the attack upon Sirion, and told of how Eärendil was speeding homeward at the time, but was too late in coming.
"Your mother escaped," Elrond continued, "with something that the Fëanorians had been looking for. It was a very special jewel called a Silmaril; there were three of them in all. Your mother took the Silmaril and fled to the shores of the Sea, where…" He faltered. "Where she cast herself and the Silmaril into the Sea, and… and drowned."
The twins stared at him in silent horror, tears welling up in their eyes again. Elrond drew a deep breath, turning and gazing briefly up at Eärendil's star. As the silvery light bathed his face, he felt some strange spark flicker to life within him. Somehow strengthened, he continued on from where he had left off.
"But," he said, "hope wasn't lost then. For although your mother did die, she was granted new life by the Valar, who gave to her the body of a great white swan. The Silmaril was left to shine upon her breast. Lord Ulmo lifted her from the depths of the ocean, and she flew up into the sky, looking for your father. And at last she found him.
"But she was so wearied by the long journey that as soon as she reached Eärendil's ship, Elwing fell into a faint on the deck. Eärendil found her there, and he slept that night at her side. And when he awoke in the morning, he found her as he had always known her, as a beautiful elven lady.
"Then your parents searched for Valinor again, and found it at last. Eärendil told Elwing to stay behind, for it was his destiny to set foot in Valinor alone. Elwing waited for him upon the shores when he went to a city called Tirion, but soon wandered to a haven called Alqualondë, where she befriended the elves living there. Eärendil found her there when he returned.
"They were both summoned to Tirion again by the Valar, who told them that they could choose to be counted among Elves or Men. Elwing chose to be counted among the elves, and so Eärendil did as well.
"Then the Valar built your mother a tower by the ocean to live in, and they took Eärendil and his ship to the Door of Night in the far reaches of Valinor. Eärendil sailed through the gate and into the night sky, with the Silmaril set in a circlet upon his head. And so you see him now."
He stopped for a much-needed breath. The elflings were staring at him in silence, and the elf-lord wondered whether they had taken in a word of the tale.
"So… if Ada and Nana won't come back, then who will take care of us?" asked Elros, in a quavery voice.
"I will," Elrond I replied gently, embracing his little brother and his younger self. "That's what being a godfather means. Your parents chose me to be the one to look after you if anything happened to them. And I always will."
Elrond II gazed fondly up at the elf-lord, whispering, "I love you, Adar-ed-Eru."
Elrond I smiled quietly as well. "I love you, too… both of you."
They sat for a long while in silence, folded in each other's arms, and eventually soothed to sleep by the cool light of the stars and the warm glow of the promise of love.
----
The elf-lord woke up slowly the next morning, and sensed immediately that something was wrong. It was far too quiet in the house. The twins were still asleep, curled into little snoring balls at the foot of the bed, where the coverlet hung off and trailed onto the floor.
"Morning, Godfather," yawned a groggy voice.
The elf-lord turned, smiling as he watched the tousle-haired head of his younger brother rise slowly up from the blankets.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," Elrond laughed.
The boy gave a tired smile. "What time izzit?"
"Just past nine," Elrond replied, glancing out the window. "Time for breakfast – as soon as you're dressed. I'd better do the same."
Careful not to disturb his younger self, the half-elf rose from the bed, stretching as he did so. He glanced briefly back at the sleeping child, then slipped back to his own bedroom to dress.
Striding over to his writing desk once he was clothed, the elf picked up a folded scrap of parchment that had not been there the day before. Frowning slightly, he silently read the flowing script:
Lord Eärendil:
Maglor and I have gone on an excursion of sorts. We hope to be back within two weeks at the earliest. You are in charge until we return.
Maedhros
The elf's scowl deepened, his forehead furrowing. What kind of expedition were they on? He could only wonder. Ah, well… he was sure he'd find out soon enough.
----
The week passed by far too slowly for Elrond's liking. The elves of Maedhros' household were dutiful, but quiet; they followed his orders quickly and without question. It was quite unnerving to see them all striding smoothly here and there, not even glancing around as they went about their work. And they were all strangers to him; he had at least known some of the servants' names in Sirion.
Nearly every waking hour, Elrond wondered where Maedhros and Maglor had gone off to. Mandos and Lórien certainly weren't letting on. It was a time of very mixed emotions; confusion about the two sons of Fëanor, sorrow for his mother's departure, and worry of another lost kinswoman, Caranel. There had been absolutely no word of her.
The elf-lord sighed quietly in remembrance of his friend. The elleth's face swam before his mind's eye; he could see every tiny sparkle in her sapphire eyes, every coppery glitter in her fiery hair. She looked so unbelievably real, so close, that he could almost hear her breathing…
But a soft voice in his ear caused the vision to vanish without a trace.
"Godfather, are you okay?"
It was Elrond II. Elrond I stared silently down at himself; the boy was gazing up at him in concern, a slight frown upon his face.
"Are you okay?" he asked again.
The elf-lord nodded, forcing a smile to his face. "I'm fine, Elrond. Why?"
"You look sad," the child said matter-of-factly, climbing up onto his godfather's knee. "I don't like it when you're sad. Don't cry."
Elrond I sniffed slightly. "Sometimes it's good to cry. Not all tears are bad. We all need to show our feelings. Sometimes I just sit and think about everything that has ever made me unhappy, and I cry and cry until I can't anymore."
"What then?" Elrond II inquired.
"Then…" The elf-lord smiled slightly. "I remember that there's much more than sadness in the world. There's light and happiness, love and hope, and all things that are good. The bad things may sometimes seem like everything, but they're not. They all go away sooner or later.
"But while they're there, you should never lose sight of the good things. They are what get you through the darkness. Hope, love, happiness, light… they're all worth it, in the end. So you should never stop fighting for them."
Elrond II was silent, a meditative look on his face. He nodded slowly, understandingly. "I get it, I think. Don't stop thinking about the good stuff, even when the bad stuff's all you can see."
Elrond I nodded, smiling. "That's right. There will always be a star shining somewhere to light your way."
"Will it be Ada's star?" the child asked.
The elf-lord nodded. "Yes. Your ada will always be there to guide you… and so will I."
----
Maedhros and Maglor returned after another long week. Elrond was extremely glad to see them return; it had been a very strange fortnight.
"I hope you were able to manage," Maedhros told the half-elf, after hanging his cloak and removing the haversack that was slung over his shoulder. He set the pack down onto a small table nearby; whatever was inside gave a small, muffled clinking noise.
Elrond gave a casual shrug. "It was certainly interesting while you were gone. Is Maglor here?"
"He's just getting the rest of our baggage," the red-haired elf replied. "He'll be inside in a moment."
Elrond nodded, but something about Maedhros' words rankled him. He was beginning to get an all-too-familiar ache in the back of his skull. But it wasn't due to injury or stress; it was premonition.
The elf then heard Maglor's voice, speaking softly and gently to someone he couldn't yet see.
"Come on now, it's all right… no-one's going to hurt you. That's it, good girl…"
Elrond frowned as he stared past Maedhros and through the half-open doorway, to where Maglor was leading a trembling, dark-haired elleth toward the door.
The girl was clad in a grimy, ragged dress that had seem much better days. Her pale face was streaked with mud, and her blue eyes were dull and downcast. She moved as though her feet were chained to lead weights. All the while Maglor urged her forward, soothing and reassuring her.
Elrond was utterly appalled. He stared at Maedhros, shock and disbelief starkly evident in his widened eyes.
"Baggage?" he cried. "A living, breathing elf is baggage?"