Disclaimer: See chapter 1

Apotheosis:

One's Descent into Heaven in order to become God

Chapter 5

Despair

Italics - Inner thoughts

Bold - English Dialogue (technically all other dialogue is in 'Japanese' since it's set in Japan)

But now he is dead,

wherefore should I fast?

Can I bring him back again?

I shall go to him,

but he shall not return to me.

Samuel 12:23

It was sunset by the time that I got back to the city. The train ride back didn't take as long as I thought it would, mainly because I passed out somewhere in the middle, the stress of the day and lack of sleep finally catching up to me. I was so drained that I fell asleep sitting up and when I did awake it took me a second to get my bearings. I left the train after scanning the area for section two or Misato. I didn't see either of them, which didn't necessarily mean that they weren't there, just that they had gotten better at hiding. I'd told them I hated being followed and that I'd make their highly secretive work very public knowledge anytime I saw them following me. That had done the trick to back them off a little. I still caught fleeting glimpses of them occasionally but I suppose it's not the worst idea to have personal security. And the one thing I know for sure is that any of those men would die protecting me. If only because the cost of failure would probably be on par with a fate far worse than death, not to mention one that doesn't hold the "Died in the line of duty" pension. My father didn't care about me but he wouldn't stand the loss of one of his precious pilots.

Am I always this cynical? Or is it just because of everything that's happened?

One of a million questions for me to ponder, as I began walking around the outer edge of town. I figured it would take them longer to find me out here if they were looking. I didn't want to see those heartless faces, nor any of the ones that were falsely sympathetic. So I didn't just walk around the edge of town I began walking over the rural flat lands that bordered the city. I went down paths between fields, some looked like farm lands, others were filled with sunflowers. I must have walked for miles. Before I knew it I found myself on the edge of a park and it was already long past dark outside by the time I did. I was starting to feel worn again, I'd slept for about an hour on the train but that certainly wasn't enough. I sat down on a bench figuring I would just rest my feet for a moment. That was a good joke as I leaned my head back and looked up at the stars. I'll just close my eyes for a second and then I'll keep going.

That was the last thing that went through my head before I drifted into an exhausted sleep, outside and in the most uncomfortable position imaginable. I was so depleted that I didn't even have the energy to dream. Thank god for small favors.

Misato really hadn't slept much at all, she was far too worried. Hinote said he would be back, why didn't he come home last night? I can't take this, I've got to tell someone, I should really call it in. One last chance, maybe he came back when I was asleep I'll go check his room.

She went to his room and stood outside the door for a moment, as if willing him to be in there would somehow make it so. When she took a deep breath and finally slid the door open she stared into the room with disappointment. "Idiot." Was all she could say as she turned back to her room. She picked up her cell phone and held one of the buttons for speed dial. The familiar voice of Ritsuko Akagi answered the other side of the phone. "We have a problem..." Misato spoke into the phone, pausing in anticipation. "..Hinote has run away."

The ranting that proceeded on the phone was heard at arms length as Misato held the phone away from her ear. The summary would be "How could you let this happen? You're in deep shit! We have to find him!" All of which Misato already knew.

She also knew this was all her responsibility and that was the one thing she took seriously "This is no time to be yelling at me, call section two and tell them to start at the train station and send a contingent to Nagoya, I have reason to believe he might be there." This time the response was quieter. "He left a note, okay? Ritsuko I don't need your shit I just need you to find him." She hung up the phone and began rushing herself to get ready. She could do a lot more at NERV lighting fires under people's asses, then she could here in her P.J.s.

The sun peaking over the mountains in the morning woke me up when it hit my face. I'd wound up laying across the bench, and as I sat up every part of my body began to protest in pain all at once. I wiped my eyes trying give them a little time to adjust to the brightness and my head was killing me, so I took a minute to settle myself with my head in my hands. I can't believe that I fell asleep here, damn it. Misato is going to kill me. I sighed deeply.

But I just... I can't look at her right now, I don't know if I can look at anyone.

I got up and started walking again, when I came to the paths crossing where turning right would bring me towards the city and left towards the hills, I stopped for a long time. I looked in both directions, and then spaced out for a while, some small part of me began making itself known in the form of a small voice inside my thought. And no that doesn't make me crazy.

You should really go back you know?

Yeah, I know...

Misato's probably very worried about us.

Yeah I know...

So what are we waiting for?

I don't know...

Well then go back, the longer we wait the worse it'll be.

I know, but we can't yet, I don't know what to do. When we get back they're going to want us to pilot again.

So?

I don't know if I can. All I can think about is the people that are going to get hurt. I don't want to hurt anyone, not like that. Those people are innocent, if anything I'm the one that should be getting hurt. At least I know that I'm putting my life on the line.

Hey, you can't think like that. Do you know how many more people would die if we didn't fight? Remember when we first got here, before we even made it to NERV? The Angel we saw was tearing a path of destruction across the country! So don't try to tell me that if we didn't fight, no one would get hurt, because that is bullshit! We're better than letting others suffer because we're too scared and selfish to do anything. Aren't we?

We are. But I don't want to go just yet.

Why not? Might as well get it over with.

Do you see the steppes over there? You know the mountains with the cuts in the sides to make them flat for farming.

I know that stupid, anything you know I know. So of course I see them, same eyes asshole.

If you are the one who's quick to say we're the same person, how come you just called yourself stupid and an asshole.

Ah, you see it's a matter of point of view. We share things like knowledge and eyes, but I'm obviously the smart half of our mind.

Oh so now you're trying to tell me that your half of the brain is better than mine?

No, I'm not trying to tell you that. I am telling you that.

That's enough! All I was trying to say was I would like a little more time without having to be their puppet. So I wanted to go sit up there, it looks like it'll be a good place to think.

Well that's sounds good.

See that, you gave me all that shit for nothing. And who's the stupid one?

After silencing the inner upstart I began my walk towards the hills. It was going to take a while especially to get to the higher ones that I wanted to sit on. But that's just fine with me, all I want right now is to be alone.

Misato had made it to NERV.

"Captain Katsuragi what the hell happened?" Sub Commander Fuyutsuki was considerably more emotional than his superior despite the fact that it was in fact the commander's son who was missing.

"No excuses sir, I woke up and he was simply gone sir." No reason to mention that it was in fact yesterday that this had happened, that would just make it worse.

"What kind of guardian are you captain? You can't even keep track of a single teenage boy in your own home?" The commander's tone was completely flat, no sarcasm no anger nothing. If one didn't know him they would say he was taking the disappearance of his son quite well. Those who did know him, just wondered how his blood circulated through his body without a heart to pump it.

"I'm sorry sir, as we speak every available agent is searching for him. It won't be long before he is found." She could feel the nervous sweat collecting on her body, if sent a chill down her spine.

"Indeed. For your sake Captain, I hope you are correct. That will be all." The man didn't move a muscle as his subordinate saluted and quickly exited the room. In fact even after she was gone it wasn't until a voice broke the calm that you could even have told the man acknowledged her leaving. He turned around and joined the Sub commander staring out the window.

"So with everything that you've put him through the boy stands tall and strong. We put him in impossible situations, and he doesn't break. Yet when it came to the fate of his friend, he immediately lost all composure and reason. Quite a display if you ask me, to run off at a time like this? I'm a bit surprised, I would have thought he'd at least ask." He sounded like he was reading off a spread sheet. Relaying the pertinent information.

"It seems our pilot has a soft spot after all. One for his friend, it's a pity i didn't know sooner I would've had the boy brought here too, he could have been useful." The man said form behind his hands.

"Well we have received information that the boy is dead so that's no longer a possibility."

"Indeed but this development may in fact benefit us yet, it has left him unstable. As well, it has created a certain void that the boy will no doubt desperately try to fill."

"Yes but how do we use that to our advantage?" Fuyutski looked over at his former student trying to read his mind.

"We simply control the means to which he fills the void." A devious grin appeared on Gendo's face.

High above Tokyo-3, I sit with my arms around my legs only inches from the edge. Looking down from here everything seems so little, so surreal. The world felt so far away, well at least the people in it did. I could feel mist around me, turns out I am literally sitting in the clouds. An impressive feeling even for someone who's been inside an EVA. For one it's a lot more peaceful. The serene feeling begins penetrating my mood, I feel the angst fear and pain slowly draining out of me like infected puss from a wound. Of course it doesn't completely leave, but how could it? In this place it was as if I was in another dimension where only I was allowed. Disconnected with the drama of life, this was a moment of harmony frozen in time.

It was too bad the last thing I could possibly feel right now is harmonious. I spent a long time just sitting there. The memories of my times with Omar floating through my head and the sorrow of knowing the chance would never come again accompanying it. And the only thing that interrupted them were the horrific images from my dream, and even worse the things I actually saw in Nagoya. I was trying to tell myself that it'd be OK, but I couldn't manage to even sound convincing to myself. I felt even more alone than I did before me and Omar became friends. It was almost the same feeling I had when I realized mother was gone. But if there was one thing I knew about my friend, it was that he wouldn't want me to be sitting here wallowing in self pity. I could just imagine what he would say if I could hear him right now.

"Are you really going to just sit here like a bitch and cry about it? What the hell kinda best friend are you? Don't you remember when we made our brothers pact? Well shouldn't you be out there avenging your brothers death? What the hell kinda pussy ass martial artist are you? Everyone knows that if they killed your brother you aren't allowed to rest until they are dead. It's kung-fu flick lesson number one. And lesson two is when you get them you have to say something catchy yet corny, like;'My name is Hinote Ikari, you killed my brother... Prepare to die!' Or 'I'll avenge my brothers by whippin' your ass, word is bond!'. Or my personal favorite. ' Oooo! You dirty rat! You killed my brother, you dirty rat!'"

He would always make a joke at the most serious moments to make me laugh. And I couldn't help but chuckle now at the image of him berating me for sulking like this. I stood up and said to no one, myself and the world all at once, "It's time to go back, there's something I have to do."

I began making my way down, back to reality. Despite how distracted I was my mind was surprisingly on the ball. I thought to myself, Do I really want to take the chance that someone sees me walking back from here? With where I am they'll have a good idea of where I was there isn't much out here so, If I go down the same road I came up and I'm seen my new haven becomes common knowledge. Hmmm...

I wound up walking several miles on the hillside before finally coming to a road that lead to a mountain shrine. It would give me a cover story, and the last place I would ever actually be found would be in a shrine so no chance in compromising any future attempts to escape. I walked down the to the bottom, and began making my way through the fields that were at the base. The sun was already starting to set and I was thankful for the small favor, it would give me just a little bit less of a chance of being spotted.

I had been walking for a while and the sunset was almost over when out in the fields I vaguely saw what looked like a tent. It was rather far into the field and I was just about to dismiss it when I saw a head poke out of the tall grass for a second. A second later a figure comes leaping out of the grass with what looks like a gun.

"YOU"LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" followed by mouth made machine gun sound affects and a leap forward into the brush.

Then about ten feet away it reappeared, and in a different voice said, "We were never planning on taking you alive! Get him men!" More sound effects and then a quick position change.

"Oh ooono! You got me! I only regret...that I have but one life to give..." The accompanying pantomime was amazing. But it all came to a sudden stop when the actor noticed me and froze at an angle that I didn't think a human could stay at. I figured it would shrink away in embarrassment and I was about to apologize for interrupting when I heard. "Hey is that you Ikari?"

I froze, I gave a hard look at the helmeted "combatant" and suddenly the bells began to ring in my head. "Kensuke right?" I stared in amazement.

He jumped up fixing his glasses and removing his helmet. His epic battle completely forgotten. "Yeah, hey how's it going? What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be at Nerv training?"

"Training?" I had no interest in telling him the truth, so I figured going with his story would be a good idea but I needed him to tell me what it was first.

"Yeah, me and Toji went to your apartment, to see how you were doing. We were worried since you hadn't been at school. Well anyway, we got there and this total babe answered the door and told us you were at NERV training." I saw the light in his eyes when he mentioned the 'total babe', no doubt he meant Misato.

I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to steer the conversation away from where I had actually been. "Yeah that's right, training at NERV. Well I can't be there all the time. So you met Misato huh?" I made sure to give him a grin and a nod with the last part and it sparked the desired response. Which took the conversation clear away from what I'd been up to.

"Oh man, did I. That woman actually lives with you?" His eyes went wide and judging by the look on his face I'd say his pants were getting tight. He motioned me towards the tent I had seen. I went in it and took out two small folding chairs. Well really they were more like folding stools, small and without a back. A basic form of military gear.

I sat down and he handed me a canteen."Yeah, she's supposed to be my guardian, though I doubt anyone who drinks as much as her would be capable of guarding anything. On the other hand though, if they made her a prison guard it would instantly stop escape attempts, I can't think of anyone who would run away from her." Well except maybe me. What kinda idiot am I?

"Yeah no kiddin' she's one of the hottest woman I have ever seen. You are one lucky guy. First you get to pilot the EVAs and then you to shack up with a woman like that, wow I'm jealous." He had gone to the side of the tent for a second and re-emerged holding a bundle of sticks and small pieces of wood.

I managed a weak, "Yeah."

I had a sneaking suspicion while we seemed to have the same thoughts on Misato, my point of view on piloting probably wasn't the same as him. Hell if anything he's got the point of view I had before I had done it. The excitement and the wonder. Two things that have since melted away and been replaced fear and apprehension. Battle always looks a lot more glorious to those who don't fight it.

Kensuke positioned his kindling and started a small fire. He got another pile of wood this one filled with more substantial pieces and worked to make the fire thrive. This gave me the opportunity to change the subject again. "So Kensuke you're pretty prepared out here, were you expecting company? Or are you just the king of the boy scouts?" I gave a playful laugh to try to show I was kidding, but I don't think he was very amused.

His look got real serious and his voice took on a demonic tone. The laughable geek who was playing pretend army suddenly became a frightening figure as his eyes locked onto mine and I could feel the cold sweat form on my body. I wonder if this is what prey feels like? I dared not look away, the fear that he might lunge and rip out my jugular with his teeth had me frozen.

"Boy scouts! I'm no measly boy scout! I'm a military man, all this gear is authentic military equipment. No boy scout could hold a candle to the things I got. I even have MRE's, you know, Meals Ready to Eat. And if you don't make another crack like that I might actually share some with you."

I quickly threw my hands up trying to wave off his anger, "Relax I didn't mean to offend it's just I was surprised on how well set up you are. You are ready for anything, it was like you knew you'd have company." He settled down a little and returned to his previous temperament.

"Well, not exactly knew, but I always hope for a little company. Sometimes Toji comes out here too, but since his sister got hurt he doesn't show up anymore, I guess it's hard to play games knowing she can't. Well that and he's always at the hospital."

My head sank and I couldn't help but stare at the sand as my heart filled with guilt."One more thing that was ruined because of me and the EVA's. I'm sorry"

Kensuke seemed taken back but what I said, "You're sorry? For what?"

I wanted to hit him for being so oblivious and for making me spell it out. But that would put me even further in the wrong then I already am. "Well, it's my fault that his sister got hurt, so it's my fault that he isn't out here having fun with you. It's my fault his poor little sister is bed ridden I wonder how many other people's lives I've effected like this."

"Ummm are you kidding?" Kensuke cleaned his glasses while giving me a look that told me I was undoubtedly the dumbest person on the planet."I hate to be the one to break it to you but it's not your fault. None of this is."

"How can you say that you've seen what it's like to be in the fight. You've seen what that monstrosity I pilot is capable of." I was one step away from crying out of frustration and anger.

As calm and flat as I was emotional Kensuke looked me dead in the face and said, "Yeah I was there, and I did see what it was like. It was Hell, no like needed. And let me tell you something I was proud to know you after that fight. I saw your courage and your dedication and I saw you protecting the people of this city. I saw what the EVA is capable of, the question is did you? I think you are too close to the situation to see the truth."

"How can you say that if anything I'm the only one who knows the whole story." My vision blurred, unable to fight the tears forming in my eyes.

"No, you are the only one who knows your side of the story. But by the things you are saying I can tell you don't know the whole story. The whole story involves the part where you saved the entire city from not one but two REAL monstrosities. And that every person in this city who is breathing right now, owes every breath of the rest of their lives to you. And the whole story involves the parts where almost everyone but you knows that."

All I could do was stare at him. The passion is his words and the look in his eyes told me that this wasn't being said for my benefit but because he really meant it.

"They might not realize that Hinote Ikari is their savior, if they did you wouldn't be left alone in the streets. But what they do know is that the pilot of that purple robot saved them all. The whole story also includes the people like Toji's sister who got hurt, but who don't blame you at all. You know one of the reasons we went to your apartment was because Toji had been waiting to apologize to you?" I couldn't hide the look of shock on my face. "That's right, he'd been anxious about you coming back to school so he could say he was sorry. Turns out he went to see his sister and told her what happened. She punched him for even trying to hit you. And told him that you saved us all and that he better apologize or else. Then you didn't show up for school it started to hang on his conscience. But do you see? Even an idiot like him and someone who was hurt during the battles both see the truth. You are our savior. Our own personal Jesus Christ." He laughed a little at the reference and even I couldn't stop a small laugh from escaping.

"Now lets break out some of the MRE's, I'm starving." Kensuke was surprisingly quick to change the subject, a small favor that I was thankful for, and great insight on his part. Maybe I haven't been giving him enough credit.

"You know Kensuke, you are one hell of a guy, do you know that?" I said kidding shaking my head as I stared into the fire.

"Yeah, thanks. Now only if I could get a girl or two to figure that out." He said with a sigh as he put two small containers over the fire.

Gendo Ikari sat at his desk looking out the window of his office when a small speaker announced that the head of section two was there. "Send him in." Was all he said. As the man entered his office, the commander gave no other indication of noticing his presence until the man was directly in front of his desk. Without so much as turning towards the man he says, "I assume you know better than to waste my time, so your presence here must mean you've found him, correct?

The man, dressed in the typical extremely conspicuous secret agent black suit spoke in a nearly mechanical voice. "Sir, we located the Third Child a short while ago. Currently he is located to the west of the city. He's been observed speaking with a classmate of his by the name of Kensuke Aida. The boy has a tent set up in the fields just outside the city. They weren't working together, it was just chance that Hinote happened upon the kid."

The agent tried to read some kind of reaction off of his commander but that was like an illiterate person trying to read Greek. And the only response given was a very flat "I see."

"Sir, the two are eating together at the moment. Should we retrieve him, sir?"

It was a long moment for the agent, until finally Gendo replied, "No. We know where he is and that is good enough for now." A slight grin appeared on his face. "No I think we should let him get comfortable before we take him. Perhaps this will be a good test."

"Sir?" The lost agent wasn't brave enough to question the commander directly but still wanted to know where this was going.

"As long as he stays with his new friend, we'll wait to pick him up until morning. But if he leaves do it immediately. I would hate to interrupt him spending time with a...friend." The grin turned into a smile and even the stone cold section two agent felt a shiver run down his spine.

He knew that no smile that came from that man could ever be a good one. He just wished he could figure out to what end this apparent good will was working. "Yes sir"

"Have you informed Captain Katsuragi yet?"

"No sir, I was going to after I spoke with you sir."

The commander grinned again, "Don't, she shouldn't have let this happen in the first place. So she can worry a little longer."

"Yes sir" The agent replied flatly.

"That will be all."

The fire was out and the night was dark. The two young boys sat under the stars talking.

"So tell me about Misato, how did you get to live with such a fox?"

Kensuke had two sleeping bags, and when he asked if I'd like to stay out here for the night, the invitation to join his made up world seemed far too good to pass up. I could use a little time away from the real world. Well that and I could really use the company. Company that had nothing to do with NERV or the EVAs. This was the first time since I had come to Tokyo-3 that I actually felt like a normal teenager. I was spending a night hanging out with a friend.

"Well it kinda just happened when I got to the city. My father is the commander of NERV, we haven't lived together for a long time. To be honest I wouldn't want to live with him anyway. So, I was going to live by myself. But before that decision was made Misato objected and said that as my commanding officer she didn't think it was appropriate or prudent for a pilot to live alone without a guardian and at the same time volunteered for the job. Personally I wouldn't have minded living alone but believe me I'm not complaining. Hell, you should see the outfits she walks around in.. whew." I let my facial expression tell the story as me and Kensuke shared the look of people staring at the same master piece.

"Wow you lucky dog. I could just imagine seeing Misato in a towel, it would be hard not to lose consciousness. You know, I run a small but lucrative 'business' if you will at school. Me and you could make a lot of money together you know that?" The boys eyes suddenly held the look of a criminal mastermind.

I had a bad feeling I might know where this was going. "What the hell are you talking about? Or should I be afraid to ask?"

Kensuke rubbed his hands together. "I preform a service for some of our fellow classmates, well at least for the male ones. In fact not a single female knows anything about this, which is probably the only reason I'm still alive."

Now I was down right worried. "What kinda 'service' are we talking about?"

With a hint of pride in his voice he replied, "Well I'm a photographer my friend. And I don't mind risking personal injury to help out my fellow man."

I immediately put two and two together. "So were talking about taking pictures of girls, without their knowledge. And I'm guessing some quite candid shots as well, probably for those willing to pay more am I right?"

He smiled and gave me an appraising nod, "Very good, guys come to me and want photos of a girl they have a crush on, and depending on how much they give me, is how much they get. I have gone as far as getting a picture of the girls showers."

"Locker room pictures? Are you serious?" His coyness about the whole thing shocked me.

"Oh I get pictures of the girls changing all the time, that's nothing." He said casually cleaning his glasses.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, well actually yeah I suppose I could. Kensuke certainly struck me as the entrepreneurial type, and we are teenage boys. To be honest, (even if immoral) it was brilliant. Supply and demand, chances are he was the only one taking these pictures. Well at least the only one taking the pictures and selling them. So he'd be the only show in town, and god knows with the hormones of the teenage male you are in demand heaven. He could charge whatever he wanted and no one can complain because if they did they would be admitting to buying the pictures.

"If anyone says anything you tell everyone they were the ones who wanted the pictures."

"Exactly." The pride now poured from him as he felt his genius being appreciated.

"How do you know I won't say anything? As of right now I'm completely innocent, I could expose you and not have to worry about any involvement."

"Well I know you won't for two reasons, one being so what if you are innocent I'll tell everyone you aren't and they'll crucify you all the same."

"And second?" I couldn't argue that point so I set my sights on the next one.

"You're a man." He said solidly.

Damn no arguing that either. I resorted to a nod and a subject change. "I imagine you make quite the profit."

"You have no idea, lets say it only took me a month to save up all the money for all of this gear you see. And that was before word of mouth took over, now I could get all this stuff in a good week. And the best thing is tastes change. So my clients always come back looking for something new. Plus now I've got negatives of almost every hot girl in the school, so I don't even have to risk getting caught unless a special request is made. Which brings me to Misato..." He turned to me and grinned wide. "Up until now it's been all high school girls, but there isn't a guy in this school who wouldn't want a couple of very personal pictures of her. And I could charge anything for I wanted for the quality of the subject."

"Hey man I wouldn't do that to Misato. She's done far too much for me to betray her trust like that." Which was true, I wouldn't mention that after her nightly celebration I could probably ask her straight out to pose for some pictures and it could turn into a penthouse issue without any help from me.

"Come on man! I will split the profits with you fifty-fifty."

"Ain't happenin' man" Though it was tempting.

"Okay sixty forty, you being the sixty." He was trying hard

"Kensuke listen to me carefully, for your own safety. Misato is a Captain of NERV, which means she carries a gun. I could be trying to sneak a picture and get shot before she even realizes it's me. And that's not to mention that if section two catches you trying to get one of these photos they'll think you're a spy. And section two reports to my father. My father treats me like nothing and I am his only son, I couldn't imagine what the man would do to a spy. And I'm positive you wouldn't want to find out."

Kensuke looked at me long and hard, trying to see if the threats I spoke of were empty ones. He soon realized by the look in my eyes that they were and promptly said, "Taking picture's of Misato... a definite negative. Got it."

"Smart man." That seemed to deflate the conversation for a while.

I had almost fell asleep when Kensuke quietly said, "Hey if you don't mind me asking, what about your mother? Why couldn't you live with her?"

It hurt just to think about it, but after all Kensuke had done for me tonight I couldn't say nothing. "My mother died a long time ago, in an accident. That was when me and my father stopped living together."

Kensuke sighed, "I'm sorry. Well it seems we have something in common Hinote, my mother died a while ago too."

"Sucks doesn't it?" Was all I could manage. I've cried all I could for her many times before but now I didn't want to show that side to my new friend.

"Yeah, yeah it does." Kensuke shakily cried.

This seemed like a good time to break the tension, "Well maybe there's an advantage to it though, we have no mother's and we are two of the most put together people around here. You're an inspiring business man at fourteen and well we know what I do."

He laughed, "You do have a point."

"Damn right." This got another laugh, but then silence took over for a while.

"You know something Hinote I'm glad you decided to stay, you're alright." Kensuke said after a few minutes.

"Me too you're not too bad yourself, we should hangout more. I don't exactly have alot of friends around here."

"Definitely, Toji might take a little breaking in but he'll come around no problem. Especially since hanging out at your place means seeing Misato." We shared a pretty good laugh, at Toji's expense.

"Sounds good, but make sure you tell him about her gun." I said when I finished laughing.

"Oh I will, don't worry about that. Well I think we should get some sleep."

"Alright, goodnight man. And thanks."

"No problem, goodnight.

Kensuke might never know how much better he made me feel. I felt a little guilty for acting so normal after everything that happened. But I needed it more than anything.

I work up surprisingly early. The sun wasn't even completely up yet. Only the first traces of it golden light could be seen, and the morning fog was still thick. But something woke me, a feeling in my sleep. It was almost like I was being surrounded. I tried to shake it off now that I was awake, but to no avail. Then I thought that maybe it was just being in the tent so I went to get out. In getting up I accidentally woke Kensuke who just gave me a partly confused but mostly still sleep look.

"Just getting some air." I said softly as I unzipped the tent, I was bent over and staring at the ground as I stepped out and zipped the tent behind me. It wasn't til I stood up that I saw them.

Almost a dozen section two agents surrounded the tent. All of them had the superbly incognito black suit look going on and to add to the motif they all were holding automatic weapons. I almost felt important, All this just for me huh?

They were all silent and motionless, except for the one directly in front of me who stepped towards me and spoke in a loud clear voice. "You are Hinote Ikari, correct?" I knew he knew damn well who I was but his voice had a tone to it that reached all the way down to the primal survival instincts deep in my sub conscious that told me not answering wasn't an option.

Kensuke poked his head out of his tent and froze when he realized the situation. He looked up at me and I shook my head at him hoping he understood not to do anything. Which he did, for our sake that was a good thing.

"Y-yes." I Had been told that there could be people who would want to come after me because of how important I was. That's why I had a security detail. I was pretty sure that these were section two agents and not kidnappers or terrorists, but that only made them less scary by a little. I knew they couldn't kill me, but I was also sure my father wouldn't be concerned with them having to forcefully subdue me. So I wasn't sure to how much damage they were allowed to inflict. And while I'm quite confident about my fighting ability, I'm also a realist. I'm a fourteen year old boy, they are highly trained security agents. Not to mention the fact of the weapons or how badly outnumbered I am. I wasn't going to make this any worse than it was by trying something stupid.

"We are with NERV Special Security Section Two. You will come with us now." He said as he stepped forward.

I gave Kensuke an apologetic look, "Sorry I couldn't stay man, thanks." Was all I said to him before walking away with the agents. I could see the look of fear in his eyes and I didn't want him to be a part of this any more than he already was. So I left him there to wonder as I was led back to NERV Headquarters.

Misato isn't going to like this at all was all I could think when I was put into handcuffs before entering the building.

And as I was thrown into a holding cell all I could think was. I don't like this at all.

It was just after 6 in the morning when the door had closed on me. It was almost 3 in the afternoon when the cell opened once more. With the bright lights of the hallway painting a silhouette of my guest even before my eyes adjusted I could easily tell it was Misato. Even her shadow was sexy. I know that shouldn't be my first thought but, lets face it. I'm a boy.

"Well, long time no see. Do you feel any better after wandering around for two days?" The voice confirmed it, though it wasn't the light hearted tone I was used to. I was happy that I really couldn't see her face too well, if her voice was any hint her eyes would have killed me. "Was it fun to make everyone worry about you? Not to mention all the trouble you caused me."

But what she didn't realize was that after all I had been through her little 'pep talk' really wasn't going to effect me much. "Misato, I'm sorry for making anyone worry and I'm sorry for causing you trouble. As for having fun..." I felt my stomach turn and my eyes become filled with tears as the memories of the last two days came to me all at once."...if you consider it fun seeing your former home destroyed... as well as the entire town you grew up in. Or trying to comfort your dead best friends mother in the wreckage that was once her sons room, if you consider that a good time..." I broke down into sobs, "... then yeah... I had a blast."

I was somewhere between crying and yelling, and the words left me with so much hatred. Misato didn't deserve it but at the moment I didn't care. She had struck a nerve and most certainly, the wrong one. She gasped as the words came out of me and then just stood there silently. I could tell she was trying to cope with the information she'd just received. She quickly switched gears, I suppose it's not so easy to be cold to someone who just went through what I did. "Oh my god, you made it to Nagoya? Hinote I... I'm so sorry." She took a couple of steps towards me but didn't completely close the distance. "You shouldn't have gone there, if you wanted to know what happened to your friend you should have said something to me I could have gotten some agents to check it out and..."

"And what Misato? Have you or one of those machines you call agents tell me that my best friend is dead? Or give me a quantitative account of the destruction, telling me the dollar value damage estimates? I needed to do that, for myself, by myself. I had to know..."My heart sank,"and...now I do. And no matter how many nasty comments or reprimanding or consequences may come, it was worth it. And I couldn't care what you, my father, or anyone else in this damn place thinks. Nothing any of you could say or do could even come close to the pain I felt walking through the street that I once lived on. So if you want to keep me in this cell, fine. If you want to act all self righteous and tell me how wrong I was for running off, fine. But don't you dare sit there and tell me it would have been better to let you or NERV take care of it. I don't know what kind of a bastard you think I am, but my friend deserves more than that from me. More than letting you heartless people be the ones to go check on him. I owe him more than that." Wow that was almost a speech. Despite my inner smart ass, I had tears running down my face.

The air in that small space was completely void of sound yet brimming with tension. I had just all but cursed out not only my guardian but a superior officer. One of the only things that allowed me to get away with this was the context on which I did it. The other was that this particular superior officer was one of the only people in NERV who was a human being slash woman first, and an officer second. "I think it's time for us to go home. What do you think?"

After all I said to her, she answers with that? Damn Misato people don't give you enough credit.

The monitor blinked off as the two occupants of the cell walked out the elder wrapping her arm around the other in an effort to comfort him. In the blackness of the monitor, the man once known as Professor Kozou Fuyutsuki swore he saw a smile cross his former students face but it was gone by the time he turned around. "So, what do you think?" The sub-commander was the only one in the entirety of NERV who got away with questioning Gendo Ikari on any matter.

"It seems we were correct about how much the pilot was affected by the loss of his friend." Only someone who'd spent as much time with the man as Fuyutuski did would have noticed the smugness in his voice. He got up and lead the sub-commander out of his office.

They had reached the hall and were now walking towards the EVA cages. "So where does that leave us?" He had a pretty good idea what the man would say but he hoped he was wrong.

"Our plan is a go of course, he wasn't nearly as distraught or emotionally unstable as we wanted him to be when he got here. Our attempts to destabilize him en route, failed. Even the situation I orchestrated for him all those years ago didn't achieve the desired results. Instead he met this friend of his, and my best laid plans become useless. So we will take that which deterred us in our goal and turn it into our tool." They entered the room in which the giants were kept. Unit 01 stood witness.

All Fuyutuski could think of was a vaguely similar conversation he'd had many years ago when he first decided to join what was then Gehirn. When he saw the prototype graveyard. "Something you and NERV have become experts in. Manipulation of the enemy." He looked into the eyes of the beast.

"Indeed." Gendo added with a self-righteous tone. "See to the transfer Fuyutuski, I want it to be as soon as possible."

End Chapter 5

A/N: Well, the evil seed is planted. I hope that wasn't too blatant of a plot device but hey, I was tired it was the end of the chapter sue me.
Omake

(Outtake)

The fire was out and the night was dark. The two young boys sat under the stars talking.

"So tell me about Misato, how did you get to live with such a fox?"

"Well it kinda just happened when I go to the city. My father is the commander of NERV, we haven't lived together for a long time. To be honest i wouldn't want to live with him anyway. So, I was going to live by myself. But before that decision was made finally Misato objected and said that as my commanding officer she didn't think it was appropriate or prudent for a pilot to live alone without a guardian and at the same time volunteered for the job. Personally I wouldn't have minded living alone but believe me I'm not complaining. Hell, you should see the outfits she walks around in.. whew." I let my facial expression tell the story as me and Kensuke shared the look of people staring at the same masterpiece.

"Besides I think she has an unfulfilled mother complex. And even though I'm past the whole nurturing stage I think somehow I fulfill her wish to have a baby. And I'll tell you something else..." I pause to give it a dramatic effect and add suspense.

It worked, "What is it?"

"I might be a little too old but I bet you she'd breast feed me if I asked and probably even let me into her bed if I had a bad dream."

"You are the luckiest man alive." Is all my nosebleed stricken friend could say.