Chapter Thirty-Eight: Starchild
Varda smiled calmly, bending a little and extending her hand to Gil-galad. He grasped it tightly in his own, and she pulled him carefully to his feet, where he stood steadily.
They both turned to look down at Annatar, or Sauron, who had risen to his feet within the ring, his clothes rumpled and golden hair disheveled. An expression of purest hatred was stamped across his pale face, burning in his blue eyes.
"This is not the end," he hissed threateningly. "We'll meet again, Ereinion!"
Varda met his stare with an almost bored expression. "Get out of my sight!"
With a second snap of the Valië's fingers, the hoop of light surrounding Sauron vanished. He leapt forward with a snarl, but Varda halted him with an outstretched arm. "You will not touch him again! Go back to the Void!"
Seething mutely, the Maia disappeared in a rage of flame-hued light. Varda watched him leave with ice in her eyes. Then she sighed soundlessly and turned back to Gil-galad, who bowed in reverence.
"I don't know how to thank you, my lady," he said gratefully. "You've saved my life, my kingdom…"
"Thank the one who first beheld your captivity, and had the courage to plead for aid," the Star-Queen replied. "It was Elrond who saw what Sauron had done to you, not I."
The King nodded. "I will indeed thank him, when next I see him."
Varda smiled benignly. "Go in peace."
----
Elrond II fidgeted anxiously with a handkerchief he had pulled from his pocket, staring in anticipation and dread toward where he had seen Varda leave. Elrond I laid a hand on his arm to calm him, and Mandos glanced calmly down at them, a tiny smile flickering on his lips.
"It appears that Varda has succeeded," he said pleasantly, nodding toward the far end of the corridor. A tall figure was approaching them steadily, and Elrond I and II bowed as he came into clear view.
It was Gil-galad. The King's head was held high, and his eyes were brighter than the half-elf had ever seen them. He bowed low when he saw Mandos, then turned slowly to meet Elrond's eyes – all four of them – and seemed to grow smaller as he just stood there. His shoulders slumped, his head hung. Finally, after a long silence, he looked up and spoke.
"Elrond," he said solemnly, "I owe you my life. If you hadn't understood Sauron's plans and acted in swiftly, I don't know what would have become of me, or my kingdom. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you."
Elrond I shared a fleeting glance with himself before replying, "You're welcome, sire."
"Please, call me Gil-galad," the King said kindly. "I owe you a sincere apology as well. I spoke to you earlier in anger and haste. I should have listened to you. Please forgive me."
Elrond I bowed his head humbly. "Ú-moe edhored, hir nin." (There is nothing to forgive, my lord.)
Gil-galad smiled. "Forget what I told you about the benefits of courtesy – you obviously possess an abundance. I wish I had half as much."
Elrond I smiled as well. "Thank you."
----
Elrond II sighed as he climbed into bed that evening, with little Lórien on his pillow. The tiny Vala had been alternating between staying with both halves of Elrond for some time. Now, he knelt next Elrond II's nose as the elf lay down on his side, pulling the blanket up to his chin.
Two pairs of blue eyes met, and Elrond II smiled quietly. Then a faraway look came into his eyes, and he turned his gaze up to the high ceiling, just as a familiar, literally glowing figure swirled gracefully into view.
"Good evening, Elrond."
"Good evening, my lady," the elf replied courteously, sitting up in his bed and bowing his head to Varda.
The Valië returned the gesture with a tranquil smile. "How are you?"
"In honesty, I've been better. And yourself?"
"Satisfactory."
"Did I ever thank you for what you did for Gil-galad this afternoon?" Elrond II asked.
Varda nodded. "You did, in fact."
"Ah, yes," the elf smiled. "Now I remember."
He lapsed into a pensive silence thick with disjointed memories of the past few days. Gil-galad and Cirdan wore Rings of Power. Annatar – Sauron – had nearly brought Mithlond to its knees. Varda had given Gil-galad back his freedom and his kingdom. Lord Mandos, it seemed, loved him…
Elrond II looked up to see the Star-Queen nodding silently, a tiny smile playing upon her lips. As the elf frowned in confusion, her melodious voice entered his mind.
You guess correctly, she told him.
He stared at her in surprise. You knew?
I was the first to be told.
What did he say to you? Elrond II inquired.
Varda smiled reminiscently. He told me that he has been growing very close to you, and that he was uncertain of whether or not to tell you of it. But as you already know, it seems redundant now.
May I ask when he told you?
She met his gaze and held it as she replied, On the evening of October the twenty-eighth, in the year five hundred thirty of the First Age; the day of Manwë's Council.
The half-elf's eyes widened in realization. He has loved me for that long?
The Valië nodded. So it appears.
Elrond II fell silent. This changed everything. Lord Mandos had loved him for more than one and a half thousand years, and he had been totally unaware… he had never returned the affections so selflessly poured out to him. He felt his eyes begin to fill with hot tears.
"I never knew," he whispered aloud. "How could I be so blind? All the things he did for me, and I never considered that he might be giving me hints of his feelings. I don't know what I was thinking… how can I ever compensate for fifteen hundred years of unrequited love?" he cried, as the droplets rolled down his face.
Varda tenderly wiped his face with the back of her cool, soft hand, shushing him gently. "There will be more than enough time to recompense that. Trust me."
The elf stared deep into her gentle eyes. "I do trust you."
He fell silent again, turning his gaze to his bedroom window. Eärendil's star shone down upon the earth below like a beacon of hope. Elrond II sighed as he envisioned his father's kind, noble face, which Cirdan had once said greatly resembled his own.
"Who am I?" he wondered aloud.
"Fifteen hundred years, and you do not know?" Varda raised a slender eyebrow.
He looked back at her, replying, "Yes, my lady. I don't know. There's only so much I can learn from my other half. I'd like to find out some things for myself, but I'm not exactly sure where to begin. Am I only my father's son, or something more, or less?"
The Star-Queen seated herself at his side, laying a kindly hand on his shoulder. "What is your name, Elrond?"
Elrond II frowned at her. "You've just said it, my lady: Elrond."
She nodded. "Elrond… in your tongue, Star-dome." She pointed up to the inky black sky visible through his window. "Where my children dwell."
The Valië gave a laugh at the elf's confused frown. "You think it deviant for me to have offspring? Nearly all of my kin have something in this world to call their own, that which he or she has created.
"Manwë is the father of the winds, as Ulmo is of the waters. Yavanna is mother to all the green things that grow upon the earth; Aulë is father to the stones and metals that make up the soil. Fui has authority over the tears that she weeps, and Irmo over the visions and dreams he sends. Would you not agree?"
Elrond II nodded. "You do have a point, my lady. But what does all that have to do with me?"
"Think about what I have told you," Varda replied. "Your name is Star-dome; the home of my children. One of those children is your father. He sails through the heavens even as he sails through your own heart." She moved her hand there as she spoke.
Elrond II glanced down at the Star-Queen's hand, then up at she herself. "So if my father is your 'child', then wouldn't that make me related to you? Like a grandson, maybe?"
The Valië's sparkling eyes smiled down at him. "More like a nephew."
Elrond II smiled as well, but frowned slightly as he remembered something. "But I think we're already connected somehow, my lady. My great-great-grandmother was Melian the Maia."
Varda nodded. "I remember Melyanna," she sighed reminiscently, using the Maia's true name instead of the more common, shortened one. "She was in fact one of the Ainur, and my distant kin. So, yes, we are related somehow."
"I am honored to be considered your kinsman, my lady," Elrond II replied with a modest nod of his head.
The Valië smiled benevolently. "I am glad to count you as a kinsman."
She sent out a gentle thought into his mind. You should get some sleep.
The half-elf nodded, lying back down. Very well. Goodnight, my lady.
Goodnight, Elrond. Sleep well.
The elf smiled calmly, sharing a brief glance with little Lórien as his eyes glazed over.
----
Elrond I awoke from a deep, dreamless slumber to find Elrond II sitting at his bedside. The elder half-elf nodded to himself as he sat up. "Good morning, me."
"Good morning, me," Elrond II smiled. "How am I?"
It was surprisingly easy to slip into his old banter. It seemed almost as if they had slipped into the past, in the days of Elrond II's youth… before Elros had left…
Elrond I sighed, looking up and meeting his own tear-filled eyes. The bitter memory still clung as strongly as ever.
"I'm sorry," he murmured.
"It's not your fault," Elrond II said reassuringly. "It's no-one's fault."
Elrond I struggled to hold a second surge of grief at bay when he recognized the familiar phrase. He glanced at himself again, seeing silent tears tracing Elrond II's cheeks. The elf put an arm about his shoulder in something like a half-hug. Elrond II frowned at himself.
"You do remember that we're the same person, right?"
Elrond I caught the hint, and removed his arm. "Right. It's just a bit odd, considering that I've been treating you almost like a nephew your whole life. I mean, regardless of the fact that I'm you, I'm also your godfather."
Elrond II nodded pensively. "Speaking of nephews…"
"What?" Elrond I frowned.
"You just reminded me of something Lady Varda told me last night…"
The younger half-elf told himself everything the Valië had told him the previous evening. Elrond I listened in awed patience.
"She considers us her nephew?"
"Something like that," Elrond II nodded. "She preferred it to grandson, in any case."
Elrond I digested this carefully, speaking only after a long pause.
"Lord Mandos thinks of us as a brother, and Lady Varda considers us her nephew. At the same time, we're also related to the Valar through blood. This keeps on getting curiouser and curiouser, doesn't it?"
"You mean 'more and more curious'," Elrond II corrected him.
"I beg your pardon?"
"You said 'curiouser and curiouser'," answered his godson patiently. "That's technically incorrect. It should be 'more and more curious'."
"Whatever. You know what I meant."
"I know. But it doesn't change a thing."
"Yes, it does!"
"As long as you know what I'm talking about, what does it matter?"
"Well, of course I'm going to know what you're talking about! But you're supposed to be a great loremaster and a scholar! You can't go around saying silly things like 'curiouser and curiouser'!"
"Well, I'm saying it right now, aren't I?" Elrond I laughed. "You're me, you know. And I'm a loremaster and scholar already! You're the one who still has to grow up!"
"But you're me! So, in a technical sense, you've still got some maturing to do yourself!"
"You do realize you're only insulting yourself, don't you?"
Elrond opened his mouth to reply sarcastically, then thought better of it and grinned and shrugged in defeat. "Well, I'm going down to breakfast. How about me?"