SIZZLE! POP!

The nostrils of an almost adult superhero captured the scent of bacon frying to meaty perfection.

DING!

His mouth salivated as his gloved hand raised the lid, revealing two perfectly cooked eggs. A quick stir of the shredded potatoes and the meal was complete.

Robin raised a bite of eggs to his mouth. The taste was as excellent as the appearance; a bite of bacon displayed the same greatness. He was undoubtedly a superb cook. Just one last thing to taste – potatoes. Secretly he favored them, but he'd never let the Titans know, especially as Cyborg judged ones manhood on the amount of meat they consumed. Robin placed the potatoes in his mouth. "Damn!" he cursed softly. "After six years of practice they still don't taste right. How do you do it, Alfred?"

"Who's Alfred?" a monotone voice asked.

"Uh, erm-" Robin stammered.

"And while we're on the subject of people you've mentioned; who's Bruce?"

"Raven, what in the world are you doing up at this time?"

"Praying to the God of Wisdom for the ability to understand you. Why are you up?"

"What?" Since when did Raven pray to the Gods? "Oh. You're being sarcastic . . . uh, I was just making a bed-time snack."

"Aren't you a bit old for bed-time snacks? What next, am I going to find Star tucking you in at night?"

"Funny, Raven. Now really, why are you up? Three is hardly a decent time to be doing anything."

"I needed a bed-time snack."

"Aren't you too old? Do I need to go tuck you in afterwards?" Robin prepared himself for the worst; teasing Raven could result in anything from a roll of the eyes to a rap on the head with an object in a dark aura.

Nothing.

Glancing at Raven, he saw her preparing toast with a slight smile on her face. Against his will, his muscles relaxed; she was so pretty when she smiled.

Raven began boiling some water, as her toast became toasty. "What did you think of that criminal today?" A pitiful conversation starter, but what was there to say?

"Not much." He said, taking a break from forcing down his potatoes.

Positive that he was not really listening, Raven splurted the oddest thing that came to mind. "So, Bruce and Alfred are your boyfriends, eh? Are they cute?"

"WHAT!" He shouted, spraying food everywhere, Robin was confused, a state he wasn't accustomed to dealing with. He didn't know where she was coming from, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to know.

Raven almost laughed. Almost. "Thanks for the food. I know I said I wanted a snack but I had it covered."

While he knew he should apologized for splattering Raven with food, he just didn't feel like it, he was stunned. "You think I'm g-g-gay?"

"No need to say you're sorry. This food should wash out." Well, he was definitely listening. "Of course I don't think you're gay, I just didn't think that you were paying attention."

"When have I ever ignored one of my friends? I may not respond if I'm busy but I usually listen."

Raven could think of several times when he'd ignored them. She and Cyborg had a contest going to see who could get him to agree to the most outrageous thing, so far it was Cyborg. Robin had admitted, unknowingly, that he had a fetish for stealing BB's underwear. "It's just not like you to skip an opportunity to analyze our latest criminal. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing, why would you think there was?"

She rolled her eyes, hadn't she just given him the reason? "Hmm, oh, I don't know, let's think about it." She gave a fake look of pretending to think. "Over the past couple of days we woke up to you yelling, you ran out of the tower hardly pausing to insult Beast Boy's weak bladder, you apologized on command, and mentioned a wedding. Robin, you turned up WITHOUT a mask and in giant sized clothes that you said belonged to a Bruce. You hit your head until you couldn't see straight and collapsed-oh, and how could I forget, less than 24 hours ago you were still in pain, until you suddenly seemed to feel no pain at all and you were unnaturally happy. Ah, and you were knocked out and felt no pain, then muttered something about Alfred's potatoes just a few minutes ago."

"Well, you see-I, uh-"

"Come on, Robin. What drug did you take?"

Should he confess? No, the last the he needed right now was the team to think he was a druggy on top of everything else. "Raven, it was just a headache, after two Tylenol I was fine."

"Just a headache? Oh good!" Did he really think she was that stupid? "I thought it was something a bit worse when I saw your bruise, er, face.

He had a bruise? Probably from Wayne's stupid granite countertop . . . stupid jerk. "Well, let me be the first to tell you, if you exert enough force on a person's body blood vessels will burst and a bruise will form. It doesn't mean that I've sustained brain damage just because I've got a bruise.

"Just because you haven't sustained brain damage, YET, doesn't mean that you aren't hurt."

Her tone was taking a hint of concern; maybe he should say something to reassure her. "Honestly, Raven, if I were hurt, like bad hurt, I'd make sure you didn't find out."

"You mean you'd try to make me believe that you were okay?"

"Uh, something like that."

"Like you're doing now?"

"Yeah, NO! —Erm . . . Raven, really, I'm fine. I hit my head, that's all."

"Really is just a modifier people use to reassure themselves."

Robin's eyes glazed over, thinking about Raven's comment required all the strength he had in his body.

"Robin, what is going on?"

"You see, my boyfriend, Bruce, cheated on me with my ex, Alfred, and now they're forcing me to witness their union and share potatoes of happiness with them."

Raven froze, was this Robin or Starfire? "Did you sell your brain to our Tameranian friend, or was that supposed to be a joke?"

"A joke, didn't you catch the hint of sarcasm."

"Oh, so you were intending to be hurtful, well that's a sweet thought."

"GAH, do you have to take words so literally. Don't be stupid! You're the one who thought they were my boyfriends."

"Didn't you catch the sarcasm, or am I too stupid to pull it off?"

"Who said you were stupid?"

"Let's think about that for a second. YOU!"

"I did not! I told you not to BE stupid, not you ARE stupid."

"Oh, yeah, big difference, the meaning's the same."

"Is not!"

Raven peered at Robin for a bit. "You're delusional."

"Delusional? You think I'm delusional? Well, you're being irrational."

"You're being psychotic."

"You're on drugs."

"No, that's you. Do you realize how childish this is?"

"You started it!" Robin pouted.

She rolled her eyes, "I rest my case."

Robin's jaw dropped, Raven was being so irrational. "You know I'd expect this annoying invasion of my privacy from Star, but honestly, I expected you, of all people, to give me a little space."

"Are you comparing me to Star?"

"Yeah. You know, I can stand her poking into my life, but for some reason it just doesn't work with you."

Feeling hurt, Raven turned to leave, "Well I'm sorry I'm so appalling. If I could I'd drop my IQ 60 points and take the unnatural cheerleader attitude of our alien friend so that you could stand to be near me, but, unfortunately, I can't."

"Star is not that stupid."

With a "Good-bye, Robin" Raven left the tower.

Raven just left. He made Raven leave. Robin made Raven feel so bad that she'd left the tower. 'What did I do?' Robin pushed back from the table and brought his head crashing down towards it again.