It was just before midnight, when Blair stumbled into the loft. Closing the door behind him, he slipped silently to the floor, knees hugged to his chest. "Blair? What's wrong?" Naomi Sandburg stepped out of her son's room, startling him.
"Mom, what are you doing here?"
"Visiting. I missed my baby."
He picked his head up from his knees, and stared tiredly at his mother. "Sorry, Naomi, it's good to see you. Your timing's bad is all." He struggled to stand up, and Naomi saw the blood on his flannel shirt. Blair followed her gaze. "It's not mine. It's Jim's...should have been mine," he finished in a whisper. "Look, I need to sleep. I have to be at the hospital at 7. I'll tell you the whole story tomorrow, okay? Sorry." He manuevered into the bathroom and shut the door. He leaned in to turn on the water and as soon as the first splash hit the tiles, he began to cry.
Blair woke feeling rested. He turned to check the clock and bolted upright. "Shit!" It was 9:30 a.m. He struggled into his jeans, and stumbled down the stairs. "Mom?"
"Hi honey, I'm so glad you got some sleep. You look so much better then you did last night. I'll have breakfast for you in a few minutes."
"No time. I can't believe I overslept."
"Blair, I turned the alarm off. You looked so tired last night."
"How could you? I told you I had to be at the hospital by 7."
"Really honey, I'm sure the mighty Ellison won't begrudge you a few extra hours sleep."
Blair brought his face up so he could look his mother in the eye. "Jim's on life support. There was a meeting scheduled for 7 this morning to look at some test results and determine the next steps in his treatment...I can't believe no one called."
"Oh, there are some messages, but I turned the ringer off."
"Look, I gotta go." He knew if he didn't leave at that very moment, he would say something he would regret.
Before going into Jim's room, he asked the nurse to page Dr. West. "Hey...sorry I'm late. Mom made a surprise visit last night." He ran a trembling hand tenderly down the right side of the still man's face. He apologized to his partner again, after the doctor explained they had removed the breathing tube, but Jim had panicked. They hadn't been able to calm him down and he'd torn some of his stitches in the process, so they had to sedate him and reinsert the tube.
Simon came in as the doctor finished. "Where the hell were you?" He bellowed. "I called - no one answered."
"Don't you dare talk to my son that way. Since when is he responsible for James Ellison?" Naomi demanded as she marched into the room.
"Since he gave me his medical power of attorney, Mom. Let's go back to the waiting area. Simon, would you please stay with Jim for a few minutes?" Once they were seated, he started in, "Look Naomi, you can't waltz in here, and start yelling at people. Especially when you don't have all the facts."
"I don't need your facts - the fact is that Detective Ellison has kept you under his thumb since you met. You need to get out of here. Come with me to Sedona. There's a great retreat there and then we can travel, just like we used to."
"No, Naomi. the facts are that Jim is my friend, my best friend, and my partner. You haven't even asked about him. You just assumed what happened is his fault, didn't you. Well, do you want to know why he is lying in there hooked up to all those machines? Do you?" Blair was on his feet. "A student from Rainer, one of MY students, Mom, tried to kill me. Seems he didn't like the grade he got last quarter.
Jim was picking me up for lunch. He saw the gun and put himself between it and your son. If Jim hadn't been there, hadn't been willing to give his own life to save me, I'd be dead. And not by some common criminal, but by my own student. Jim saved my life, Naomi, and he may die because he did." He left his mother and went back to his partner's room.
"Blair, sweetheart, I'm sorry," Naomi said, coming into the room some 40 minutes later. "I'm glad Jim was there when you needed him. But the fact remains that these things never happened before you started working with that pi...that cop. This is not your life, Blair, its his. Come on, you don't want to live like this. I raised you better. Come to Sedona, give yourself some time to get used to the idea of getting your own life back."
"You're not listening to me, Mother. This is the life I've chosen, here in Cascade, with Jim." Naomi began to rant and rave about Jim after this pronouncement. Blair tuned his mother out and focused on his Sentinel as the heart monitor began to make noise.
"It's alright, Jim. I'm okay. Naomi's here, and she's a little out of sorts that I won't pack up and leave with her. It's Sedona this time. She claims to hear me, but she clearly isn't listening." The monitor slowly quieted. "That's it, big guy, rest easy." He returned his attention to his mother. "This is not the place to have this discussion. I'll be home in time for dinner, we can talk then. You can get a cab out front." Naomi was livid. No one dismissed her like that, especially not her own child! Jim Ellison would pay for turning her little boy against her.
He wasn't surprised to find his mother gone when he got home that night. Typical Naomi behavior. He heated up a dinner in the microwave, and fell into bed.
Naomi told the night nurse she was Jim's sister. While still on the ventilaotr, the sedation was beginning to wear off. "James Ellison, I want my son back. You've taken my sweet, carefree boy and turned him into a pig. The next thing you know, you'll have him at the police academy. Well, its not going to happen. He doesn't want to live with you or to play at being a pig. He thinks if he disagrees with you, you'll hurt him. And you will - sooner or later. So I'm here to tell you he's leaving. He and I are going to travel the world again, mother and son. No one, not even you, can break that bond. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him."
The wolf was in a cage. The door was unlocked, but the wolf just sat as the cage was pulled further away from the crippled panther. The panther called for his mate and tried to follow, but the cage moved faster then the panther could run.
Blair got a call from the hospital two hours later saying that Jim had taken a turn for the worse. He rushed down to the ICU, pulled up a chair and started talking to his partner. He talked nonstop, stumbling only once, when the night nurse said Jim's sister had been to visit earlier. "Did she have red hair?" An affirmative nod. "Jim doesn't have a sister. No one is to be allowed in here except for myself and Captain Banks, no one."
"Man, I don't know what Naomi said, but you and I both know that we shouldn't listen to her. I'm sorry, big guy. I should have known she'd try something. Jim, I promise, I'm not going anywhere, and you better not either."
Later that morning, the doctor removed the ventilator. "Come on Jim, breathe. Remember our exercises - in and out. That's it, big guy. You got it." He'd taken hold of Jim's hand and held it tightly against his heart.
Simon took over the vigil for Blair in midafternoon, and the tired Guide went home. Naomi was waiting for him- he reminded himself to get the locks changed. When he realizedall his books and clothes had been packed, he wondered if matricide was okay, if you had justification--of course Jim would help him hide the body...He took a deep breath.
"I'm glad you're here, everything is packed. Let's load up and hit the road."
"I'm not going with you."
"Blair Jacob Sandburg, you stop this nonsense right now, and grab a box."
"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a grown man, and you're lucky, I don't have you arrested for that little stunt you pulled with Jim."
"You obviously didn't have the guts to tell him you were leaving, so I did it for you."
"You had no right to tell him anything. It's not your place and it certainly wasn't true! What did you think you were going to prove - or was the point simply to kick him while he's down?"
"It's time you chose, Blair."
"Chose?"
"Me or the pig."
"That's ridiculous."
"If you don't come with me now, I won't be back."
And just how is that different then the first 30 years of my life?"
"Fine, you've made your decision. Just don't come crawling to me when he kicks you out." Naomi slammed the door of the loft and headed for the hospital. She had Simon paged and slipped into Jim's room.
"Well, I hope you're happy," she barked out. "Whatever spell you have him under works. You're forcing him to choose-and he will lose his mother-is that what you really want?"
"Naomi get out, before I call security." Blair demanded, entering the room.
"I just wanted him to know what he's costing you."
"He's not costing me anything. You're the one issuing ultimatums. You are the one intent on destroying our relationship. My friendship with Jim is just a convenient excuse."
"Not true - he's turned you into a puesdo cop - he's ruined you."
"Blair?" The voice was hoarse and so soft he would have missed it if he wasn't waiting for it.
"Hey big guy, welcome back." Blair placed Jim's hand over his heart. "How do you feel?"
"It's okay to go." Pained blue eyes showed the words to be a lie.
"I know, but I don't want to. I'm happy here. If my mother bothered to listen to what I've been saying, she'd know that."
"This is such bullshit," Naomi laughed harshly. "Even lying there half dead, he has a hold on you."
"Yes he does, its called love. Maybe if you tried sharing it with someone, instead of continuing the practice of self love, you'd understand."
"Chief, don't," Jim whispered, "she's your mother."
"You've always been so careful not to say anything bad about her - a courtesy she hasn't reciprocated, as you know. And we all know that she only wants a son when its convenient. I don't want to go with her, Jim. I want to stay with you."
"Well, you made your bed...or is that the point?" Naomi asked, eyes glittering dangerously.
"Naomi don't," Jim struggled to sit up. "Blair loves you."
"Obviously not enough." She turned and stalked out the door.
"Go after her."
"No. She's trying to manipulate me. This is just a phase, trust me. She would have left me in Sedona, or Hot Springs, or where ever her next stop was. Trust me on this, I've lived through it a hundred times."
"Sorry."
"No, don't be, it has nothing to do with you...Hey, I don't think Simon's gonna let you set foot on campus again without at least a SWAT team escort." He smiled, trying to change the conversation.
Jim smiled to show his appreciation of the effort. "Go home and get some sleep."
"So help me, I'm taking my son with me," Naomi muttered as she walked back into Jim's room. He was asleep. She pushed a needle into his IV. "Sweet dreams, pig," she whispered before leaving.
Twenty minutes later alarms rang and when Blair got back he found his partner in ICU again. After hearing what happened, he went to sit with his partner and noticed the rash on his arm. He had the doctor paged. "That rash wasn't there four hours ago. What did you give him that caused that?" A review of the charts showed nothing new had been administered so blood tests were done. They found a high dose of a natural sedative that was depressing Jim's ability to breathe, and forcing his heart to work twice as hard.
"My god, she tried to kill him," Blair despaired as he slid down the wall to the floor in the waiting room. Simon posted an officer in front of Jim's room.
"Sandburg, all your things are gone, no clothes, books, or papers at the loft," Simon said, handing him a coffee.
"She packed them, assuming I'd come with her - because I always had before. I can't believe she actually took them."
"I don't want you to be alone til we find her," Simon put up a hand to stop the objection. "She tried to kill Jim, and she's stolen all your wordly goods - what makes you think she wouldn't stoop to kidnapping? And what would I tell Jim, if that happened?"
"Don't want you to lose your mother," Jim whispered, the first words he'd said in 36 hours, only to find Simon sitting beside him.
When the nurses' shift changed the next afternoon, a black haired nurse did a vitals check while Blair went to get coffee, when he came back to the room, Jim was gone. A note on the pillow said 'Come to the loft, alone.'
He entered their home tentatively. Jim lay on the couch, eyes scrunched closed in pain. "Good boy...now you can come with me or stay here and watch the pig die."
"Naomi, please..." he had no clue what to say to end this nightmare.
"If I can't have you, neither will he, so for the last time, Blair, choose." She held a syringe next to Jim's arm.
"Fine, I'll come with you, just, please, let me say goodbye." He knelt beside the couch and leaned over his partner. "Jim, I have to go. I'm so sorry. Be careful, and let Simon and the other help. You'll always be home to me, and I'll never forget you."
A shaky hand reached out for him. "Run, Chief," Jim whispered as the hand turned into a firm fist which knocked Naomi over. The door burst open and three cops with guns drawn, took control of the yelling kidnapper.
"You okay, big guy?" Blair asked when he and Jim were finally left alone that night.
"I'm home, you're here...now if there was just a Jags game on tonight, everything would be perfect." the smile that ghosted over the patient's face, stuck on the Guide's.
