Inui's New Delux Penal Tea
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Though I'd kill to own them TTTT cries
AN: Me and my friend came up with this at lunch, just like we did with A Small Fall. What can I say? We had a LOT of free time on our hands during lunch. So we came up with a load of crack fics X3 hehehehe..enjoy
Chapter 5: Eiji's Big Adventure! Pt1
Atobe wasn't sure how, but his mansion had been turned into a complete zoo. While it was normal for the regulars of the Hyotei tennis team to wander into his mansion, this was one of the few times he actually had all of them, including Hiyoshi, under the roof. Not that that was too odd. No. It didn't turn insanely odd until he found the smiling Rikkai Dai captain at his front door, in a pair of jeans and a pale blue shirt. Attatched to him, was a small, red haired child dressed in overalls, with one of the straps hanging at his waist, and a green shirt that looked ready to fall off of him.
"Yukimura-san...this is unexpected." Atobe looked down at the child, "...Relative of yours?"
"I wish. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you," The smile didn't falter once, even when he leaned down to pry the child from his leg, "And he can probably explain better than I can. And I have to get to my appointment, so I was hoping you could watch him for a while?"
Atobe looked over Yukimura, then down at the child again. There was something oddly familiar about him. As for Yukimura... He sighed, nodding after a moment, "Very well. I suppose he can stay for a while. I'll assume you want him dropped off at your house when I leave for school?"
"Sanada-san's or Rikkai Dai."
"...Very well." Atobe found it best not to ask what was going on until Yukimura had left. Once out of sight, the door to the mansion closed slowly and he looked back down at the child, "...You look oddly familiar."
"Of course I do, Uncle Atobe!" The child grinned up at him, reminding the captain of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. Where had he seen that look before, though?
A visible twitch, that could have rivaled Tezuka's, ran over his features as he looked down, somewhat disturbed, "...Kikumaru-san...?"
"Nya! It's Kiku-chan!" The red head turned his back on him, arms crossed with a pout, "And I wanna play with Uncle Gakuto!"
Atobe twitched once more, starting to wonder what he'd gotten himself into, "If you can find him...go ahead."
Eiji promptly squealed and ran off. He waited until he was sure Atobe was well out of hearing distance, before looking down at the pocket on the front of his overalls. A small green head poked out, bright yellow eyes looking at him. He put a finger to his lips and pushed the frog back into the pocket.
In his quest of finding Gakuto, nothing interesting happened, except his lack of result. He found Chotarou and Shishido first, the latter of the two still sound asleep, while the former was trying to wake him up. He wrinkled his nose and left them to their business. He found Jirou next, curled up on a fouton, with someone in the bathroom of the room. No point in bugging one of the only nice people on the team. So he left him as well. He found Hiyoshi getting dressed and quickly darted out of the room.
When he found Yuushi, he thought he had succeeded, but the tensai was alone. Eiji sat down at the top of a stair case and looked ready to cry. Why was it, the one time he could abuse Gakuto without getting in trouble, he couldn't find him?
"What the heck is a kid doing here?"
At the familiar voice, Eiji jumped up and looked up at the person. Gakuto had his arms crossed, in his uniform, and was looking none too pleased at the discovery of a child in the mansion.
"Uncle Gakuto!"
"...Uncle? Who the heck..." Gakuto blinked a bit, actually looking over the boy finally. Only one person was fashion senseless enough in his eyes to wear something like that. "...What the hell happened to you?"
"I'm telling! You swored!" Eiji pouted, turning his back on Gakuto as he had done with Atobe.
"Since when have you cared about people swearing? That doesn't tell me what happened, either!" The older of the two was quickly getting aggitated.
"Let's play a game!" Eiji changed the subject, happily and turned back to him, with his bright Cheshire smile.
Gakuto didn't like that smile at all. He began backing up a bit, "What kind of game--" He cut off with a scream.
Eiji had pulled the little frog out of his pocket, holding it up to the terrified boy, "I found a froggy outside! ...Uncle Gakuto, come back!" The boy chased after the third year when he took off down the hall. If anyone had been asleep, they wouldn't be anymore. Shishido proved that, when he leaned out of the room he was in, looking less than pleased at being woken up by the shrill scream.
"What the hell are you doing, freak?"
"Shishido-san!" Chotarou pulled him back into the room before he could grab Gakuto. Both blinked at the sight of the player being chased by a small child.
"Chotarou...what was that?"
Chotarou could only shake his head at his partner's question.
"Uncle Gakuto, wait for me!"
The Second Chance pair looked at each other, and mutally decided it was better not to ask.
Normally Eiji would have been able to catch up to Gakuto without a problem. Unfortunate for him, he'd forgotten about his small height change. He soon lost sight of him in one of the hall ways and began looking around for him. He pouted and began back tracking towards the main hall. He eventually found the red-head trying to creep towards the stairs and squealed, running after him. Said red head cringed and broke into a run again.
Eiji was ready to cry and began chasing him again. It wasn't long before he tripped though, and fell flat on the ground. That time he did start crying; when he sat up and found his that his frog had not survived being fallen on. The loud crying soon attracted the inhabitants of the house. Gakuto, too, came back, cowering behind Yuushi, though he calmed down a bit upon seeing the frog squished to the carpet. Atobe didn't look pleased by the dead amphibian on his floor, though.
"Someone has five seconds to tell me what happened!"
"That brat chased me around with that...thing!" Gakuto pointed accusingly at the bawling Eiji, who's cries drowned out the accusation.
"MY FROGGY WENT SQUISH!" Eiji began crying harder, until the circle around him began backing up. He stopped when he began sniffing, looking around and quickly climbing his way down the stairs. The Hyotei regulars could only look at each other, then follow.
The six year old had found his way into the kitchen, and was climbing on the counters, reaching for a freshly made batch of cookies.
"Oi, those are mine!"
"But, I want a cookie, Uncle Gakuto!" Eiji squirmed in the older red-head's grip, as he was taken off the counter. Gakuto, though still thoroughly disgusted by the frog slime on the front of the boy's overalls, didn't put him down.
"Cookie!"
"Hell no! Those are mine, Kikumaru!"
"I"m telling! And it's Kiku-chan!"
The rest of Hyotei was murmering to each other about the child. Before Gakuto could snap back at him, a snap rang through the kitchen, followed by a cold hiss.
"Quiet. All of you. Now." Everyone went quiet, looking at the peeved captain. Even Eiji calmed down a bit. He stopped squirming at least.
"Gakuto. Put Kikumaru down." He glared at the child, who looked ready to protest at the name, but quickly quieted back down. "Everyone. Living room. Now."
His team quietly filed towards the directed position. Eiji looked up with huge, tearful eyes and pointed at the cookies, then held his hands out in expectation. Atobe dropped two of the cookies into the waiting hands, then pointed to the living room. Now with cookies, Eiji listened contently, and stuck his tongue out at a glowering Gakuto when he walked by.
"Now. Kikumaru. I want you to tell me, slowly, what happened." Atobe amazingly remained calm as he took a seat, and gestured for the boy to climb onto the chair next to him.
"I was looking for Uncle Gakuto, and I chased him with my froggy, 'cause I wanted to play and--"
"I meant what happened to you. Is everyone in Seigaku like this?" Atobe rolled his eyes at the child's attention span, and prayed that he was just testing his nerve and really wasn't as dense as he led on.
"Oh, that!" Eiji, having given up on climbing onto the couch with his cookies in his hands, had sat down in front of Atobe, and had begun munching on the cookies, talking between the munches.
"Well! It happened yesterday, actually! During afternoon practice! We were doing our usual laps and stuff, but we didn't finish on time. It was scary. None of us have ever finished late on those! Inui's juice scares everyone, even buchou--"
"Get to the point," Gakuto snapped, ignoring the silencing glances he was getting from his captain and doubles partner.
Eiji sniffed and continued, "Well, Coach Ryuzaki let us off the hook for a while, until the end of practice. It didn't feel any different from the other times we'd had the stuff, but we didn't feel ready to pass out, so we just went off to the changing rooms. Then we all collapsed, I think, and when we woke up, we were little kids!"
"Including Tezuka-san?"
"Yep!"
"Fuji-san?"
"Uh-huh! He looked soooo ready to attack Inui!" Eiji giggled.
"...Inui-san is also--"
"Yep! Everyone! Tezuka-buchou, Fujiko, Oishi, Taka, Inui, Kaido, Momo-chan, even o-chibi!"
Atobe, while looking intrigued at the thought of his 'destined rival' being a child, frowned, "And where exactly is Tezuka-san?"
"Um...he kind told me not to tell anyone where he was." Eiji admitted nervously, starting to scoot away from Atobe's leg. "Fujiko said not to tell anyone, 'cause he didn't want Mizuki-san finding out!"
"...Really now?" Yuushi looked amused at the thought.
Eiji covered his mouth, eyes wide. In his fear of Atobe, he'd forgotten about Fuji and Yuushi's comptetition. Fuji was going to kill him! He started tearing up again, clinging to Yuushi's leg, "Please don't tell Fujiko I said that! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"
"I'm going to kill you, if you don't let go of him!"
Eiji squeaked at the threat and quickly let go, hiding behind Chotarou. Gakuto latched onto Yuushi, glaring daggers at the child. Yuushi just gave Gakuto an affectionate pat on the head, while Chotarou tried to get Eiji to calm down.
"Kikumaru-sempai, please calm down..." It felt so odd saying that to a six year old...
"But I don't wanna die!"
"You aren't going to die, promise." Chotarou gave a small smile, and the child calmed down a bit, still pouting.
"...I want a froggy."
Atobe twitched at the memory of the squished frog at the top of his stair case, Gakuto resumed glaring at the child, Chotarou shuddered at the thought of anyone liking frogs, Shishido was snickering, and Yuushi was ignoring them all, thoroughly caught up in his thoughts of revenge on the Seigaku tensai. Eiji looked at all of them, counting them. Hiyoshi had managed to sneak away during the explaination of what happened, but they were still short people.
"Uncle Jirou and Kaba-chan aren't here." Eiji announced after a while. The obvious comment made Gakuto roll his eyes.
"Jirou can sleep through anything. Now stop calling us 'uncle'!"
"I don't wanna!"
"Can it, pipsqueak!"
The two began a glaring contest, something Chotarou and Yuushi were quick to seperate. Yuushi led his doubles partner into the kitchen, while Chotarou picked up a squirming Eiji and carried him upstairs, being extra careful to avoid the squished frog. Shishido followed, out of habit of going where Chotarou went.
Once set down, Eiji made yet another declaration, "I want to play a game!"
"What kind?"
Eiji thought for a moment, then dashed out of the room and down the hall. Chotarou could only sigh and follow, dragging Shishido with him. They found the boy bouncing on Jirou's bed, trying to wake the nerocleptic.
"Uncle Jirou! Needs to! Wake! UP!" Eiji continued bouncing, until the sleepy boy finally sat up, looking around tiredly as he threw his covers off to the side. He looked down when he heard a terrified squeak coming from his covers.
"...Guys, there's something in my sheets."
"Heeeeeelp!"
Eiji managed to poke his head out, looking ready to cry again. He had become, quite thoroughly, tangled in the sheets.
Before Chotarou or Shishido could do anything, Jirou was wide awake and squealing, "Are we babysitting? I love babysitting!"
His teammates stared at him, as he worked on untangling Eiji.
"You babysit?"
Jirou looked up, now playing with the freed red head and blinked, "Yeah, why?"
The two exchanged an akward look and mutally agreed to just leave.
Eiji spent the next half hour playing with Jirou; video games, board games, and eventually dragged him outside. It took ten minutes to catch a frog, something Jirou didn't quite understand, but Eiji ran back inside with the frog, squealing happily, "Uncle Gakuto!"
Jirou could only blink and follow when he heard a shrill scream, and most of the others in the house yelling various things along the lines of telling him to shut up. The nerocleptic player ran inside, to find Eiji chasing Gakuto around the living room, over furniture, on the furniture, and anywhere else the taller of the two could think to try and lose the smaller boy. It ended, after only a few minutes, when Eiji tripped, trying to climb on the couch, and his frog got away. He made a small squeak and started chasing the amphibian. Before he could catch the thing, his foot caught under the rug, and he found himself tumbling.
Everyone from the earlier adventure with the frog smartly ran out of the room, leaving a confused Jirou covering his ears when Eiji started wailing at the top of his lungs.
"Froggy!"
It took a while, but Jirou was finally able to get the wailing Eiji to sleep for a small nap. He then went on a search for his captain, looking at him curiously, "Er...Atobe-buchou? What do I do with the kid?"
"He's coming with us of course. It would be so rude to leave him Sanada-san. We'll take him to Rikkai Dai during lunch."
TBC...
So! I just finished watching the first English episode of Tennis no Oujisama and I have to say...I'm still laughing. I won't call it the crappiest thing ever, but it's definitely crack! Dear God -still laughing- I can't wait to hear the other Regulars. If you wish of viewing:
scroll down a little on the rightwhen the extra page opens, and you'll find Prince of Tennis under Naruto. Be prepared to either laugh, cry, or start cussin' out the voice overs. Seriously.
Next Chapter: Eiji's Big Adventure! Pt. 2 Eiji decides to find Oishi on his own!