4. The President

Half a kilometre back, Shuckworth, Shanks, and Showler were keeping their television camera aimed all the time at the glass elevator. All across the world, millions and millions of people were clustered together around their television screens, tensely watching the drama being acted out two hundred and forty kilometres above them (Even the folks inside the Konohagakure watched with tension, somehow not recognising their own villagers. As I said before, it was a really small picture; the people inside the glass box looking no bigger than ants.)

In her study in the capital building of Amerikan politics and governing, called the 'White House' (because of the marvellous white paint it had been painted with), sat Ranserotu L. Girigurasu, President of the country of Amerika, and at this very moment, with perhaps the exclusion of the five Kage, the most powerful woman on the planet.

In this moment of crisis, all her most important advisers had been summoned urgently to her presence, and there they all were now, following closely on the giant television screen every move made by this dangerous looking capsule and its five desperate looking astronauts. The entire Cabinet was present:

The Chief of the Army was there, along with four other generals. There was the Chief of the Navy, who was pretty much useless in position as Amerika had no Navy to speak of (The country was completely landlocked). There was also an exotic sword swallower from the Wind Country, who happened to be the President's best friend. There was the President's Chief Financial Advisor, who was standing in the middle of the room trying to balance the budget on top of his head, but it kept falling off.

Standing nearest to the President was the Vice President, a huge lady of eighty-nine with a whiskery chin. She had been the President's nurse when she was a baby and everybody refered to her as Oba-san. Oba-san was the power behind the President's proverbial throne. She stood no nonsense. Some people said she as strict with the president now as she had been when she was a little girl. She was the terror of the White House and even the head of the Amerikan A.N.B.U. organization (renamed the F.B.I. as to distance itself from anything resembling a ninja power) broke into a sweat when summoned to her presence.

Also, the President's famous cat, Mister Maru-chan, was also in the room.

There was absolute silence now in the Presidential study. All eyes were riveted on the TV screen as the small glass object, with its booster rockets firing, slid smoothly up behind the giant Space Hotel.

"They're going to link up!" Shouted the President. "they're going to board our Space Hotel!"

"They're going to blow it up!" cried the Chief of the Army. "Let's blow them up first! Crash bang wallop band-bang-bang-bang-bang!" he said making very violent gestures. "Come on, Ms. P.," he said, "Let's have some really super-duper explosions!"

"Urusei! Shut up, you silly boy!" said Oba-san, and the Chief of the Army slunk into a corner.

"Listen," said the President. "The point is this. Who are they? Where do they come from? I was pretty sure that we were the only people on this continent with space travel technology! Where's my chief spy!"

"Here, maim, President-sama, maim" said the Chief Spy. He had a false mustache, a false beard, false eyelashes, false teeth, and a falsetto voice.

"Thank goodness." The President sighed, "Now, we cannot misunderestimate this situation any longer. I need to know who is up there in that space capsule!"

"Well, there are several possibilities…" the Chief Spy said. "Listen. We have just launched the finest hotel in the world. Right?"

"Right."

"And who is so madly jealous of this wonderful hotel of ours that he wants to blow it up?"

"Um…everybody?" said the President.

"Close…" said the Chief Spy, "…but be more specific."

"Well," said the President, thinking deeply. "In that case, could it not perhaps be some other hotel owner who is envious of our lovely hotel?"

"Brilliant!" cried the Chief Spy. "Go on, maim! You're getting warm!"

"It's the ones from the Fire country!"

"Getting close, maim."

"It's…It's…"

"Yes, you're very warm now!"

"It must be the Akatsuki!" he proclaimed.

The Chief Spy faultered. "N-No…President-sama…how could it be them?"

"No, it must be! Those no good gang of rogue ninja must be trying to start up their own hotel business!"

"President-sama…" the Chief Spy sighed, "…that's not even plausible…"

"Of course it is!" she laughed, "Good work, Chief Spy! We're getting close now!" she then reached for a telephone, "Quick, get me the leader of the Hidden Sand village. He was one of the last ones to see the Akatsuki. He'll be able to give us information!"

After a few moments of dialing, a voice answered. "Hai, Kazekage of the Hidden Sand Village's office. How may I help you?"

"Is this the Kazekage?" asked the President.

"No," said the voice, "I'm the Godaime's assistant and sister, Tayuya. President-san from Amerika?"

The President scowled. "Listen here! I need to speak with the Kazekage immediately! Put him on the line!"

Tayuya sighed. "I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now. It's the Kazekage's personal sandcastle building time and he wishes to remain undisturbed."

"Sand…castles?"

"Yes, our Kazekage, Gaara-sama, is passionately fond of making sandcastles during the mid-afternoon. I'm afraid he'll have to call you back." And with that, she hung up, leaving the President extremely flustered.

"Great Garbage!" the President cried, slamming down the receiver and picking it up again. "If the Hidden Sand won't help me, I'll have to rely on another shinobi power to come to our aid! I'm going to phone up the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

With that, she dialled another number, and within moments, another voice sounded on the other line.

"Hokage's office, Shizune speaking." The voice said.

"Alright now," said the President, "Listen up, Shizune-san! I need to speak to the Hokage immediately! This is the president of the country of Amerika!"

"I'm afraid that's difficult…" Shizune replied, "Tsunade-sama is unable to come to the phone at the moment."

The President grew very red in the face, trembling slightly. "Why…the…hell…can't…she?" the President shook.

"Well, it's…somewhat embarrassing…" Shizune replied awkwardly. "I'm afraid Hokage-sama is a tad stuck. You see…she's stuck in a doorway."

"What? A doorway! H-How did that happen? She's supposed to be one of the greatest shinobi powers on the continent, and you're telling me she's stuck in some door!"

"Yes, I'm afraid so…"

"How?"

"Well…Our Hokage is well known for her…ehhh…endowments…and suffice to say they can be…somewhat burdensome."

"I don't understand. Speak more simply." Said the confused President.

"Well…" Shizune hesitated. "The thing is that…many of Konoha's doorframes were not built to accommodate a woman like Tsunade-sama's…bountiful assets."

The others in the White House who were overhearing this conversation began to snigger and chuckle; all except the President, who apparently still did not understand.

"I have a national crisis in space on my hands, and you're pussyfooting around an explanation!" roared the President.

"P-President-san…" Shizune mustered, sounding as if she was on the verge of laughter herself, "It's not something I'd like to say outright. It's frightfully embarrassing. Tsunade-sama's…chest, it seems, has simply become to cumbersome to fit through her office door."

The White House roared with laughter.

The President quickly hung up. "Great! In our most desperate time of need, the rest of the world has abandoned us! How will we ever stop the Akatsuki now!"

"I repeat," said the frantic voice of Shuckworth over the loudspeaker, "they've gone on board! The mystery astronauts have boarded the Space Hotel!"

"Stay clear of them, Shuckworth!" The President commanded, "If they are members of the Akatsuki, which I'm positive they are, they should be considered extremely dangerous."

And so, the President, along with all of her staff, and the rest of the world who was watching and listening to their televisions with their teeth on edge, waited and watched as the foreign astronauts and their strange glass space vessel entered and boarded the Space Hotel. This brought along many different emotions among the populace; much of which was extreme paranoia and fear. The thought of someone blowing up the world's first ever space hotel seemed too much.

And all anyone could do was wait and watch.

Aboard the Commuter Capsule in the very, very back in their cramped and poorly lit little nook of a room, the mysterious tall and short men waited as patiently as possible. One thing had changed about the tiny room, which was the crackling and distorted sound of a radio; which one of the two seemed to have pulled out. The two were listening eagerly to hear what exactly was causing their delay in space.

"Did you hear that!" cried the tall one, "There's some other ship out there! They're saying it might have a bomb!"

"Yes, I heard that. That's pretty unfortunate." Replied the short one.

"Pretty unfortunate! That's all you can say? I'd say it's a catastrophe! This could ruin our plans!"

"Calm down…" the short one breathed slowly, "…whoever they are, they can't possibly be trying to blow up the Space Hotel."

"B-but the radio said-"

"Don't believe everything the radio says, you dolt! I'm telling you, we would have heard something if people were trying to blow it up. We'd k now about it."

"Alright…" the tall one sighed uncomfortably.

An awkward silence passed between the two.

"Um…I didn't want to bring this up…" the tall one said uncomfortably.

"What?"

"…I really need to use the bathroom."