Reign of the Tabri
Chapter 12: ReSynch
Asuka pressed the button on her wrist and relaxed as the plug suit conformed to her. She lowered her arm and turned to look into the door. Outside lay Unit 12 and her first synch test in over three months.
She set her face in a mask of determination. She set out at a brisk pace, determined to make this. It had been a long time since her last experience with piloting and she was now over it. She promised herself she'd never be so helpless again.
Flashes of the mind rape surfaced in her brain. Just before she reached the exit of the locker rooms she fell to her knees and began sobbing. She'd been so useless.
So useless.
Mother had laughed at her. Mother had wanted her to die with her.
Asuka had been a bad daughter and not done what her mother wanted her to do.
Naughty children always get punished.
She awoke in her room. The lights were shut off except a small lamp in the corner. There, snoring in a chair was Shinji.
'He must have found me and brought me up here,' she concluded. It made her more then a little angry that he had found her so weak. A big part of her wanted to yell at him. She opened her mouth and was already beginning to vocalize when she thought better of it. She sat up and hung her head in her lap.
She was about to begin crying again when the door opened. Asuka looked up, or tried to. Her hair blocked most of her vision and she was forced to shake her head to get it out of the way. Through tear stricken eyes she saw a figure in the doorway. It beckoned for her to get up and follow it.
Asuka nodded mutely and slipped out of bed. Her clothes had not been removed but she still had to carefully pick her way across her room. She both didn't want to wake Shinji and didn't want to trip on any of the stuff on the ground. To say Asuka's room was dirty was like saying she was a college graduate. Both would get you a big, "Duh."
The figure held the door for her when she slipped out. It then closed the door and nodded down the hall. "There's a conference room down there you can use to get cleaned up. I'll be in in a few minutes," Logani said in his perfectly flat voice. It sounded a lot like a male Rei. Rei the doll and now Logani the doll.
'But Rei was a better pilot then you at the end,' the darker part of her mind screamed, 'and Logani had to save you twice.'
Asuka found the conference room and used the sink in the far corner to wash away all marks of her tears. She set about tidying up her hair but before she could finish she heard then door close again. She turned around to find Logani taking a seat at the conference table. "Take a seat," he gestured at any of the six chairs at the table.
Asuka decided to instead lean back against one of the counters at her end of the room. "What do you want?" she said in her best angry voice.
"Just to talk. Or listen. I think you have some things you need to get off you chest and I think I'm qualified to hear them," he said.
Asuka shouted now, "What makes you think you're qualified to hear about me! You don't even know anything about me."
Logani sighed and brought his palms onto his eyes. He rubbed them there for a moment. Then he leaned forward on the table, with both elbows on it. "OK. I've sound proofed the room and my ears. Your shouting is pointless. No one will even hear it and you'll just waste your breath."
Asuka gaped at him. Then she opened her mouth and began screaming obscenities at Logani in several languages. His only response was to pretend to clean out his ear with his finger. "Come again?" he asked.
Asuka gritted her teeth and then slid back against the wall. She hung her head in defeat and once again had to hold back tears. Logani sighed. "Look. I don't want to make you cry. It's just that I think you have some things you need to tell someone. Now, like I said these rooms are now soundproofed. You can say things here and no one else will ever have to hear them. Also, I swear to not tell anyone. OK?" Logani said.
Asuka looked straight at him. Her facial expression showed a lot of confusion and still a little anger. "How can you just sound proof the room like that?" she kept her voice low and had just a touch of anger in it. She was mostly in control.
"I used my AT-field," was his simple reply.
"How?"
"Well…it's sort of hard to explain. You see the AT-field is what protects your soul-"
"Yeah. I think I heard Ritsuko say that once."
"Right. Well you see it works like this. The more you need to protect your soul the more you need your AT-field. Some people, perhaps even you, will have a lot of secrets and therefore have a lot of AT-field to protect them."
Asuka looked skeptical, "The more secrets you have the bigger the AT-field? Then how's that work for the Angels?"
"The angels are, shall we say, in a different league. Their AT-fields are more produced by the shear strength of their soul. But any human will have a bigger AT-field if they keep more secrets."
"Then what about you? What about all of the Tabri? You said you were half-human and half-Angel," she said the last sentence like an accusation.
"In time. But anyway even if you have a lot of secrets you can't use your AT-field. You have to need less protection for that."
"So you have to keep fewer secrets to be able to use your AT-field? That doesn't make sense."
"But it does. You have to keep secrets for it to grow, but then show the secrets to people in order to use your AT-field."
"That sounds impossible."
"But its not. Think about when you were attacked by Ireul. I bet you said something to Shinji. Something about how you really feel. That allowed you to use your AT-field Asuka. You released some of your protection on your soul by telling him something. In turn, you got to keep breathing."
Asuka scrunched up her face and thought for a few moments. Then her face lightened exponentially, "Yeah! He said something about how he didn't want to feel useless and I agreed with him."
"See? Showing secrets removes the need for such a strong protective shield on your soul. You can then use your AT-field to protect your body."
"You say some of my AT-field. Then how was my AT-field able to protect me and Shinji? I just told one truth and yet I got a whole ton of power."
"Humans are very numerous. You all keep tons of secrets from one another. Therefore you all have very large AT-fields; you just can't use them very much. In all seriousness if you divulged all your secrets, even at this stage of your life, you'd be able to crush an Angel with your AT-field."
Asuka's jaw dropped to its limit. "Of course," hurried Logani, "You probable will never tell everyone everything. Would you really want to?"
Asuka thought about this for a moment. Memories of her mother and her childhood surfaced. Thoughts of her father and his new wife. "No," she whispered, "there are some things that should never be told to others."
"Right. Now here's another thing. Think about Eva. What do you have to do to be able to pilot?"
Asuka gasped and then repeated Rei's immortal words, "You have to open yourself to Eva."
"Right. Only Eva is a representative for you. Therefore if you keep secrets from yourself you will not be able to pilot Eva."
"Secrets from myself? What do you mean secrets from myself! I'm totally honest with myself! I'm-" Asuka cut off as she thought about how in her last days of piloting Eva 2 she had refused to accept, at least on the inside, that she was worse then Shinji. Then, when she did admit it, she had become so overcome with grief that she was unable to be honest with Eva. That was where her problems with piloting had come from. "So, you're telling me that if I'm honest with myself I'll be able to pilot Eva."
Logani nodded, "Glad to hear you get it," he glanced at his watch, "Wow. It's late. Look I know you've got a synch test to get to so good luck. Remember what I said."
"Synch test? Another one? I-" Asuka cut off again as she looked around. The room was growing fuzzy as Logani stood to leave. He smiled and walked out the door.
Asuka awoke on the floor of the girls' locker room. No one had found her, no one had moved her. She looked up at the wall and realized that she had been out for only a few minutes. It had seemed like hours.
Asuka sat against the wall and looked at her hands, "But was it just a dream? Was what he said real?"
Asuka looked deep inside herself for the answer to this. However, near the end of her search she found it was really on the surface. 'It doesn't matter as long as I believe is was real,' she thought. Asuka stood and ran out of the room.
Moments later she strutted across the bridge to Evangelion Unit 12 and boarded the entry plug. Sitting in the entry plug she closed her eyes and decided on what she fought for, who she loved, and who she hated. She did not simply make up the answers; they were simply buried deep inside her.
Asuka found them and pulled them to the surface. In the entry plug she accepted what her mind really thought. She was honest with herself. She slipped on the neural clips and told the Eva what she had decided.
Asuka stared at the monitor in the lab room. 67.438 was her synch score. She couldn't believe it. It was damn near better then her old peak with Unit 2, 67.441. She couldn't wait to try to synch with her old unit once more. Assuming she ever recovered it.
Shinji walked up beside her and congratulated her. "Good job," he commended.
Asuka nodded. She turned to look at him and gave her devilish smile, "Better watch out Shinji. I'm coming to get you."
Shinji blinked in confusion. Asuka turned to walk out of the room, her hands in her dress pockets. Shinji sighed, 'This day keeps getting weirder and weirder. First the dream and now this.'
At one of the consoles in the room Logani smiled. Sometimes the truth worked.
At his desk Michel smiled. "You boy," he began, "are going to be a very valuable asset soon."
Across from Michel, being held on his shoulders by two Tabri, cringed Touji Suzuhara.
On a third side of the desk Zacherial scowled. He knew that he would have to kill Touji now. He was not happy about it. Michel's words rung in his word and he looked up in surprise.
Michel spoke again, "Take him to the brig," he addressed the two Tabri holding Touji. Then he turned to Zacherial, "Good work. It turns out it was a good thing you didn't kill him. Dismissed."
Confused, Zacherial left.
Michel smiled. He pressed a button and a screen at his left popped up. He turned to address it and the person on the other end, "Are you prepared?"
On the other end Vernide twisted one of her red locks around her finger, "Like fish in a barrel," she reported.
"Good. Zacherial has redeemed himself, so must you. Go now and capture the other three children," Michel ordered.
Vernide snarled and nodded. She turned to do his bidding and the communication ended.
Well its sure as hell original. Thanks again to AnimeFan64 for proofreading. I got another reveiw! Keep them coming people.